Thursday, December 24, 2020 — Edition: #6879
’Twas The Sheet Before Christmas …
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
The Bull Sheet will be shutting down for the holidays Friday Dec. 25-Friday Jan. 1 inclusive. Following THIS ISSUE, the next edition of “BS” will be published for Monday Jan 4, 2021. All subscribers will receive account credits for missed service days. Thanks for an awesome year of BS, and Happy Holidays, all!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Will Smith teamed up with Los Angeles Dodgers catcher Will Smith, to surprise a young fan on his Snapchat Series “Will From Home”. Will the actor detailed the story of 8-year-old Aaron Moreno, who bought plants and sold them for profit to help his family out amid tough times they were facing — including sending his sister to Mexico because his family couldn’t afford to keep her in the US. In the episode, the two Smiths surprised the young boy with a PlayStation 5, Travis Scott merchandise, Dodgers tickets, an invitation to batting practice with the Dodgers catcher and a $10,000 donation from Nextdoor — a community network for neighborhoods — among other generous gifts. Later, Smith shared that Aaron was able to sell enough plants to allow his family to buy a car, get a new apartment and bring his sister back from Mexico.
★ Shia Labeouf has been dropped from Netflix’s awards campaign amid allegations of abuse. The streaming service had been backing LaBeouf for Best Actor nominations at film industry awards ceremonies for his performance in the movie “Pieces of a Woman,” but Netflix has now removed him from their ‘For Your Consideration’ page. This comes after LaBeouf’s ex-girlfriend FKA Twigs filed a sexual battery lawsuit against him, claiming he physically, emotionally and mentally abused her many times during their months-long relationship, which began in late 2018.
★ HBO has shared the very revealing trailer for its two-part documentary series on Tiger Woods. “Tiger” charts the rise, fall and comeback of arguably golf’s greatest player of all time. The Tiger doc is driven by never-before-seen footage and revealing interviews with those who know the golfer best, including his former caddy and close friend Steve Williams; his father Earl Woods’ friend and biographer, Pete McDaniel; Tiger’s first love, Dina Parr; and Rachel Uchitel, the woman at the center of the sex scandal that forever altered Woods’ world. “Tiger” premieres Jan. 10 on HBO. LINK: https://youtu.be/CT-dTVVY8XM
★ The pandemic has certainly been a financial drain on many. And while some governments are trying to help their citizens stay afloat by rolling out stimulus payments, Kim Kardashian is helping too. She has announced a giveaway in association with Cash App. She tweeted: “It’s the most wonderful time of the year. I know 2020 has been really hard and people are struggling, worried about how they’re going to pay rent, put food on their table, or a gift under the tree for their kids. I want to spread the love by sending $500 to 1000 people.” It’s part of a contest where entrants share what is called a “$cashtag” under Kim K’s tweet, along with the hashtag #KKWHoliday. (She used to BREAK the internet, now she’s helping those who are BROKE on the internet…)
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Zendaya, Diego Luna, Paris Jackson (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Barack Obama, Brittany Howard (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Amy Adams, Adam Davidson (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, BTS (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Rep. Katie Porter, Elizabeth Werner (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Jamie Pressley, Luke Bracey (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Anthony Anderson, Juan Archuleta, Vern Yip
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Ben Falcone (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Derek Hough, Molly Sims, Jay Leno, Lawrence Zarian (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Elaine Welteroth, Andrew Rannells (R)
• “It’s a Wonderful Life” (NBC): Ruined by a miser on Christmas Eve, a suicidal family man sees life anew thanks to his guardian angel.
• “My Sweet Holiday” (Lifetime): A holiday romance blossoms between a young woman and the man who bought her parents’ beloved chocolate store.
• “NBA Basketball” (ABC): Dallas Mavericks at Los Angeles Lakers, from Staples Center in Los Angeles.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Jason Momoa, with musical guest Mumford & Sons
• “Letterkenny” (Hulu/Crave): Season 9 premiere
• “The Masked Dancer” (FOX): Premiere. The first group of five celebrities dance; the host and panelists try to guess their identities based on clues within their routines.
• “Restaurant Hustle 2020: All on the Line” (FOOD): Following world-class chefs as they film themselves and document the challenges their restaurants face during the outbreak of COVID-19.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Billie Eilish – hinted this week that she’ll be releasing her sophomore album — but only if fans stop teasing her about her hair! She was quick to make clear that she was kidding, and that fans can expect a big change to her trademark black and lime-green locks soon, posting that she will be changing it “after the doc comes out.” “Billie Eilish: The World’s a Little Blurry” premieres in February.
• Taylor Swift — has a new record after becoming the first artist to debut atop both the U.S. albums and singles charts simultaneously, twice. Her surprise project “Evermore” appeared at #1 one on the Billboard 200 on Sunday, and now ‘Willow’ has debuted atop the Hot 100 – four months after sister album “Folklore” and the hit ‘Cardigan’ did the same.
• Lorde — has revived her once-secret Instagram account devoted to…reviewing onion rings. She let her alternate account, @onionringsworldwide, gather dust for 3 years after she was revealed as the owner, but has made her big comeback with a snap of some onion rings with the caption: “Don’t call it a crumb back…”
• Neil Young — returned to his boyhood hometown for a solo performance of 1978’s ‘Comes A Time’ at Omemee, Ontario’s tiny Coronation Hall. He posted video on his website, and told Rolling Stone: “I know this time of year is going to be hard for a lot of us as we long to be with our loved ones.” He famously played a “Hometown” concert to select fans there in 2017 that aired live on Canadian TV.
• Neil Diamond — On Monday, he debuted an incredible global singalong video for his classic ‘Sweet Caroline’. The opening text of the video says: “2020 has been a tough year for everyone, so we wanted to bring people together the best way we knew how, Through music.” He had challenged fans to record themselves singing the 1969 single, compiling the clips into one video featuring thousands of people. LINK: https://youtu.be/F8y9dojrjdE
• Pearl Jam – Their 1991 debut album “Ten” is among the 29 inductees selected for the Grammy Hall of Fame in 2021. Also on the list: Bruce Springsteen’s “Greetings From Asbury Park, NJ”, Beastie Boys’ “Licenced to Ill”, The Cars’ debut album, ‘Don’t Stop Believin’’ by Journey, Village People’s ‘YMCA’, and ‘We are the World’ by USA For Africa.
• Parker McCollum – The newcomer has earned his first #1 hit on country radio with ‘Pretty Heart’. The song heads up both Billboard’s Country Airplay ranking and Mediabase’s Country Top 30.
• Keith Urban – is just one of dozens of country stars who participated in a reading of ’Twas the Night Before Christmas’ organized by “The Country Daily”. Also reading lines: Kenny Chesney, Miranda Lambert, Carrie Underwood, Luke Bryan, Brad Paisley…and just about everyone else. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/yb5ld4ke
• Kenny Rogers – His 1978 signature song ‘The Gambler’ is one of 29 songs and albums which to be added o the Grammy Hall of Fame in 2021. Also up for induction: Dolly Parton, Linda Ronstadt and Emmylou Harris’ “Trio” album, and Ronstadt’s 1987 album “Canciones de Mi Padre.”
SORRY TO SPAM YOU:
Here’s the latest bizarre fast-food chain offering: Spam and Oreo burgers. (When you’re done retching, I’ll continue…) For one day only this week, McDonald’s China offered the food mashup, which featured two extra-thick slices of Spam – the classic canned, cooked pork — topped with Oreo crumbs and McDonald’s classic ‘special’ burger sauce. The website announcement described the taste of the Oreo and Spam burger as “tender and juicy”, “full of meatiness” and with “a hint of sweet aftertaste” that amounts to “an unimaginable surprise”. (Do I need to pause again?) Online reaction ranged from surprisingly positive, with one commenter writing: “Oreos and luncheon meat are surprisingly delicious [together], I thought the sweetness and the savory wouldn’t match but it was unexpectedly harmonious and tasty”, to immensely negative, like the person who posted: “I could taste the flavors of carsickness.” And some pointed out that the Oreo and Spam burger is probably the “easiest McDonald’s burger to DIY at home” – which is great news if you feel like you’ve missed out on something special.
(I’ll let you guess which one of those reviews was real and which was written by an ad agency!)
(Uh, I’ll just stick with fruitcake, thanks…)
(Now, THAT’s a combo meal!)
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A Wisconsin dentist is accused of damaging his patients’ teeth so he could bill insurance companies for crown procedures. Scott Charmoli has been charged with 8 counts of health care fraud and 2 counts of false statements, and faces a maximum sentence of 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. He is accused of falsely telling patients that they needed crowns and then using his drill to break off parts of their teeth during the procedure. He submitted X-rays and photographs of the chipped teeth to insurance companies to obtain coverage for the crowns, the indictment says. He performed more than $2 million worth of crown procedures between January 2018 and August 2019. (I guess the tooth will come out in court…)
➢ (***Caution***) A 4-year-old girl starring as Mary in her school’s nativity play ended up flipping off the entire audience while trying to show her mum her sore finger. Mom Kizzi Parry-Griffiths says she was shocked when her daughter Daisy suddenly put up her middle finger while her little classmates sang on. Photos of the 2018 performance show little Daisy standing on stage, and proudly holding up her middle finger and smiling at her mom. Kizzi said, “They were all singing along, and all of a sudden she starts looking at me and putting her middle finger up,” apparently to show that she was wearing a band-aid. Mom says: “When she got the role of Mary, I was so excited for her. Then that happened.” (Mary had a little lamb…and a bird, apparently!)
DID YOU KNOW?
According to a lawyer who did the math, if Chevy Chase’s “Christmas Vacation” character Clark Griswold were punished by the US legal system for all the laws broken by him and his family during the course of the film, he’d be looking at some serious jail time. From criminal damage to property, to engineering a power surge while turning his home into a massive fire hazard, to the felony of aggravated kidnapping, Griswold could face fines totalling $75,000 and 15 years in prison, according to the “Laws Broken” web series on the LegalEagle YouTube channel. (And don’t even get him started on Cousin Eddie violating environmental laws by emptying his RV toilet into the sewer!)
BS CHRONOMETER 12.24.20
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940  Dr. Anthony Fauci, Brooklyn NY, physician-immunologist (Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, White House Coronavirus COVID-19 taskforce leader, Chief Medical Advisor to President Biden, beginning in January, 2021)
1971  Ricky Martin, San Juan, Puerto Rico, pop singer (‘La Vida Loca’, ‘She Bangs’)
1973  Stephenie Meyer, Hartford CT, novelist (The “Twilight Saga”, which sold over 100 million copies worldwide in 37 languages and spawned the uber-successful movie series)
1974  Ryan Seacrest, Dunwoody GA, TV host (“Live with Kelly and Ryan” since 2017, “American Idol” since 2002), “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve With Ryan Seacrest” since 2004/TV producer (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”)/radio personality (KIIS-FM LA, “American Top 40”)
1991  Louis Tomlinson, Doncaster UK, pop singer (One Direction-‘Story of My Life’, solo-w/Steve Aoki-‘Just Hold On’)
CHRISTMAS DAY – Jimmy Buffett (‘Margaritaville’) is 74; Sissy Spacek (“Carrie”) is 71; Annie Lennox (Eurythmics) is 66; Dido (‘White Flag’) is 49
SATURDAY- Lars Ulrich (Metallica) is 57; Jared Leto (“Suicide Squad”) is 49; Chris Daughtry (‘It’s Not Over’) is 41; Kit Harrington (“Game of Thrones”) is 34
SUNDAY- Wrestler Bill Goldberg is 54; Emilie De Ravin (“Lost”) is 39; Olivia Cooke (“Bates Motel”) is 27; Timothée Chalamet (“Call Me by Your Name”) is 25
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Christmas Eve”, a family gift-giving occasion in many countries, it is the evening or entire day before Christmas Day. Together, both days are considered one of the most culturally significant celebrations in Christendom and Western society. (***See “BS Phone Starter”, below***)
• “Egg Nog Day”, celebrating the seasonal rum or brandy drink that has nothing good for you in it but sure tastes good. A coffee spiked with egg nog and brandy is called a ‘tom-tom’. (My family simply refers to it as “yule-fuel!”)
• “Last Minute Shopper’s Day”, celebrate by going out and purchasing any last-minute gifts or other items you need before Christmas. (See you there!)
• “Christmas Day”, the annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, observed among billions of people in more than 160 countries. It is celebrated religiously by a majority of Christians, as well as culturally by many non-Christians, and forms an integral part of the holiday season centered around it.
• “No ‘L’ Day, gets its name by being a pun of the word “noel.” Noel may refer to the Christmas season, and a noel is another name for a Christmas carol, so it is fitting that No “L” Day takes place on Christmas Day.
• “Boxing Day”, a legal holiday in Australia, Canada, Germany, New Zealand, and the UK, which takes its name from the old English tradition of boxing up gifts & food for the less fortunate. It coincides with “St Stephen’s Day”, when churches traditionally opened their collection boxes to the poor. In South Africa, it’s known as “Day of Goodwill”. In Canada, it’s also the excuse for giant after-Christmas sales.
• “National Candy Cane Day”, In 1844, a recipe was published for a straight peppermint candy stick, which was white with colored stripes. Literature first mentioned the candy cane in 1866, and it was first mentioned in connection with Christmas in 1874. As early as 1882, candy canes have been hung on Christmas trees. Enjoy one today (as if you haven’t already!).
• “Thank-You Note Day”, a day to say thanks for all those gifts — before you forget.
• “National Whiner’s Day”, dedicated to people who whine about unwanted Christmas gifts.
• “National Fruitcake Day”, fruitcakes have long been tied to the holiday season, whether as a treat, or as target of jokes and ridicule. The earliest recipes date to Roman times, where pomegranates, pine nuts, and raisins mixed with barley hash were used. (They are perfect for Christmastime, because just like your family members, some are nutty, some are sweet, and some are soaked in alcohol…)
• “Visit the Zoo Day”, takes place between Christmas and New Year’s Day, when children are off from school, and there are often family members visiting. Visit the Zoo Day is a great way for families to bond during the holidays.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1990  Tom Cruise weds Nicole Kidman, his “Days of Thunder” co-star (it lasts 11 years)
2009  A private funeral is held at Forest Lawn Cemetery in the Hollywood Hills for 32-year-old Brittany Murphy, who’d passed away 4 days earlier from cardiac arrest
2014  Sony finally releases the movie “The Interview”, after shelving it due to hacking attacks (the so-called ‘comedy’ about an attempted assassination of North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un proves to be more lame than controversial)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1818  A church choir in Austria introduces a new Christmas song for their Midnight Mass: ‘Stille Nacht!’, better known as ‘Silent Night’
1978  Björn Ulvaeus and Agnetha Fältskog of ABBA announce they are separating and getting a divorce
BS WHACK CHRISTMAS FACTS:
✓ Early illustrations of St. Nicholas make him out to be a stern symbol of discipline rather than the jolly, overweight elf that children know today. (Then he had a Coke and got jolly!)
✓ A large part of Sweden’s population watches Donald Duck cartoons every Christmas Eve. (Which sounds weird, but not as weird as watching whatever it is that MY family does every Christmas Eve….)
✓ An artificial Christmas tree would have to be reused for more than 20 years to be “greener” than buying a fresh-cut tree annually. (The dog likes a real one better, too.)
✓ Japanese people traditionally have KFC for Christmas dinner, thanks to a successful marketing campaign in the 1970s. KFC is so popular that customers place their Christmas orders up to 2 months in advance. (To get on the ‘bucket’ list?)
✓ In 1867, a Boston industrialist heard Charles Dickens read “A Christmas Carol” and was so moved, he closed his factory on Christmas Day and gave every one of his employees a turkey. (And like Tiny Tim said: “Merry Christmas to us all; God bless us, every one!”)
Best of BS . . .
BS HOW TO GET YOUR HOLIDAY GUESTS TO LEAVE:
• Break out the non-alcoholic beer
• Ask someone to pull your finger
• Let the dog lick the plates and then put them away. Plus, they’ll never come back
• Say, “Have Y’all read ‘Dianetics’?”
• Dance like nobody’s watching
• Put on your pajamas
• Announce that your snake has escaped his cage
• Don’t answer the door in the first place
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018
BS SIGNS SANTA DOESN’T LIKE YOUR KID:
• Letter to North Pole comes back stamped, “Dream on, pipsqueak!”
• Kid asks for a new bike, gets a pack of smokes.
• Giant box under the Christmas tree contains styrofoam peanuts only.
• Instead of ‘naughty’ or ‘nice’, Santa has him on his ‘dork list’.
• Labels on all your kid’s toys read ‘Straight Outta Craptown’.
• Santa’s first words when your kid meets him in the mall … “Off my lap, Tubby!”
-First published in BS in 2015
TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ About 40% of us will spend Christmas with extended family. (The other 60% will get to enjoy Christmas!)
➠ It’s that special time of the year. Gingerbread, fruitcake, candy canes, eggnog… (And those are just the things Santa found in his BEARD!)
➠ Scientists have claimed that when people lie, their noses get red. (Which explains why Santa’s sleigh will be led by Rudy Giuliani this year…)
➠ It’s Christmas time but so few people ‘believe’ anymore. (FINALLY!!!. . . Santa knows how Tom Brady feels.)
➠ It’s Ryan Seacrest’s birthday today. (And his age IS. . . . . . . . going to be revealed AFTER these messages . . .)
BS WEB GOODIE:
A spin on the traditional fireplace video for 2020: https://tinyurl.com/yamhq3fr
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is your family’s unique/unusual/truly weird Christmas Eve ritual?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 25% of people do THIS after receiving their Christmas gifts. What is it?
Answer: Google to find out how much they’re worth
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.