July 29 2020

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Wednesday, July 29, 2020 – Edition: #6750

Now You’re Fulla Sheet!

The Bull Sheet is headed off for its annual summer holiday and will not be publishing Monday August 3 through Friday August 7. All subscribers will receive credit for missed service days. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Monday August 10.

★ The official “Friends” cookbook isn’t hitting shelves until September 22, but you don’t have to wait to make a few of the iconic recipes. The book is packed with over 90 recipes for dishes that were inspired by, or featured in the show, from Rachel Green’s infamous trifle—”What’s not to like? Custard: good. Jam: good. Meat: good!”—to Joey’s favorite meatball sub. The publisher has just released a few recipes so you don’t have to wait for the book. Each recipe includes step-by-step instructions and modifications to accommodate home cooks of all levels. (Challenge accepted!)
★ Chrissy Teigen and Quibi are teaming up to end the crisis over what is a real object and what is a cake that looks like a real object, with the new game show “Eye Candy.” Based on a popular Japanese game show, it’s centered around teams of celebrities and civilians who will attempt to identify outrageous edible creations designed to look like everyday ordinary objects,” according to the official Quibi description. As they put it, “With the objective to distinguish edible (and delicious!) creations from real objects, the suspense hilariously builds to when contestants must make their choice – and then take a bite!”
★ Oprah Winfrey is closing her signature magazine after 20 years of publication. “O, The Oprah Magazine” published its first issue in April 19, 2000, but later this year the media mogul will close the print edition with one final edition dated December, 2020. A representative for Hearst Magazines insisted that the brand is not going away, but it will become “more digitally centric”, a natural next step for the brand, which has grown to an online audience of 8 million.
★ Dwayne Johnson was in the running to play ‘Willy Wonka’ in the 2005 movie “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”. As you no doubt know, the role went to Johnny Depp in the end, but on Sunday, Johnson revealed director Tim Burton had considered him. The Rock shared a clip from the 1971 version of the movie, explaining how he introduced his kids to one of his all-time favorites, saying: “They loved it and now fully expect me to deliver a room full of chocolate and candy.” Johnson says: “That’ll be my next project.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jason Bateman, guest host Sean Hayes (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Ice T, Jack Whitehall, Charlie Wilson
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Norah O’Donnell, IDK (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): David Schwimmer
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Taraji P. Henson, Andrea & Matteo Bocelli (R)
• “Conan” (TBS): Tig Notaro (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Naomi Campbell, Garcelle Beauvais
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Susan Rice
• “The Talk” (CBS): Christopher Meloni, Randy Rainbow
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Katie Holmes, Jenny McCuiston
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Aubrey Plaza, Jamie Foxx, Coldplay (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Ricky Gervais, Ester Dean, Josh Elkin (R)
• “Ultimate Tag” (FOX): Season 1 finale
• “Bulletproof” (CW):  Season 2 finale
• “No Limit: Chronicles” (BET): Series premiere. Percy Miller survives poverty, violence, and the deaths of loved ones in New Orleans’ notorious Calliope projects to become Master P, the visionary behind the No Limit records empire.
• “When Sharks Attack: Deep Dives” (NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC): Enhanced episodes of “When Sharks Attack” investigate the increase in shark attacks during the last half century, many in new and surprising places.

• Lollapalooza – Though this year’s in-person event in Chicago will not happen due to COVID-19, Lolla2020 will take place on the original dates (July 30-Aug. 2) with a mix of classic performances and new sets. The free, four-night broadcast will air on YouTube. Among the performers: A$AP Rocky and LCD Soundsystem.
• Katy Perry – The release of her new album “Smile” has been pushed back two weeks to Aug. 28 due to “production delays”. To make it up to fans, she posted: “Starting this Sunday (Aug 2) and until the album drops (or until #Babycat …whichever comes first) join me for #SmileSundays! Every Sunday…I’m going to go on LIVE for 30 minutes or more and talk all things SMILE…”
• Joe Jonas – He and Sophie Turner have welcomed their first child together. Baby girl Willa arrived on July 22.
• Neil Young – says he may sue President Trump after all over his use of ‘Rockin’ in the Free World’ at campaign events. On his website, Young posted: “Imagine what it’s like to hear ‘Rockin’ in the Free World’ after this president speaks”, considering the fact that he is using the military “on the streets of America against law-abiding citizens for a political charade…I did not write it for that.”
• Rufus Wainwright – has teamed up with the Toronto-based Choir! Choir! Choir!, leading 1,500 singers in a cover of The Beatles’ ‘Across the Universe’. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/y5j6mhay
• Robert Plant — has unearthed three previously unreleased songs for the new career-spanning compilation “Digging Deep”, out Oct. 2. The limited-edition 2CD/digital set features 30 songs from his solo career, including material featured on his “Digging Deep With Robert Plant” podcast.
• Corey Taylor – The Slipknot and Stone Sour singer will release the first taste of his upcoming solo album today. He has said that the record will explore a variety of genres and takes influence from such wide-ranging artists as Alice In Chains, Slade and Johnny Cash.
• Lukas Rossi – The former “Rockstar Supernova” singer has released a music video for the title track of his ninth studio album, “Summertime”. The clip features dozens of star cameos, including by Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee, members of P.O.D. and Three Days Grace.
• Luke Bryan – His “Farm Tour” will not be taking place for the first time in over 10 years due to the pandemic. He also had to reschedule his “Proud to Be Right Here Tour” to 2021, but still plans to release his new album “Born Here, Live Here, Die Here” on Aug. 7.
• Miranda Lambert — Her latest single ‘Bluebird’ has hit #1 on the Billboard Country Airplay chart, her first solo chart-topper since 2012’s ‘Over You’. She did hit the top spot by appearing on Jason Aldean’s ‘Drowns the Whiskey’ in 2018 and for her duet with Keith Urban ‘We Were Us’ in 2013.

Going to the gym may not be an option these days in the midst of a global pandemic. But you might be able to work off some of that pizza and cake that you’ve been enjoying just by doing some work around the house, or rather, in the yard. A recent study by OnePoll found that homeowners burn more than 80,000 calories a year on average, just by doing yard work and gardening. The survey of 2,000 adults found they spent an average of 165 hours each year maintaining and fixing up their homes. Mowing the lawn regularly was found to burn 4,000 calories per year. Gardening can burn 200-400 calories per hour, more than many people would burn at the gym. Of course, if you’re gardening, you’ll also enjoy the benefits of Vitamin D from your exposure to sunshine.
(Plus, you don’t have to go to the gym!)
(I burn 4,000 calories per year just trying to start my mower!)

How would you like to spend your lockdown on an Antarctic adventure? Russian oligarch (that’s a rich Russian with political influence – I looked it up…) Oleg Tinkov is offering to lease his 253-foot vessel, La Datcha, the world’s first private ice-breaking ship that can comfortably sail to Antarctica or the outer reaches of Greenland with 12 passengers aboard. The ship, which can go for 40 days without refuelling, offers you the chance to “Ram into the pack ice and walk right out onto the frozen sea”. There are 5 guest cabins, each with a dressing room and a washroom, accommodations for 25 crew members, a private hospital, and two gyms. Hang on, there’s more: A Turkish bath and sauna to relax in after an ice trek, a jacuzzi, and many toys, including two snow-scooters, four jet-skis, a diving center with decompression chamber, and TWO helicopters in a below-deck hangar. Also on board is a mini-submarine which holds three people. How much to lease this floating piece of opulence overkill? Just $850,000. Per week.
(Aaaand that’s how a Russian becomes known as a RICH Russian…)
(OK, it’s too expensive for me to wait out the pandemic, but when the zombie apocalypse happens, I’ll be in touch!)
(It sounds like a lot of money, but if you split it with another family, it’s about the same as a cottage by the lake in summer!)

While you may have heard earlier in the week that sales of deodorant are way down this year in the wake of the pandemic, that doesn’t mean manufacturers have completely given up on their products. In fact, a new discovery has been made which might someday result in a D.O. that better fights B.O. University of York researchers say they’ve managed to follow the scent of body odor back to a “BO enzyme” which predates modern man. They say finding this enzyme allows them to pinpoint the main microbe in your armpit involved in processing sweat molecules that give off body odor. They say that smell may have played a role in communication between early primates. The findings could help deodorant firms create precise stink-snuffing products that target these microbes without killing good bacteria — as is the case with traditional anti-perspirants.
(Will they be able to anything about white t-shirt armpits turning yellow? Asking for a friend…who has the same name as me…)
(Does this mean we’ve begun the “countdown to ex-STINK-tion?)

⇒ Oh, you’re one of those parents with a bedtime routine as opposed to yelling GO TO BED from the couch every 10 minutes for 2 hours. — @mommajessiec
⇒ Me: Guess what? 8-year-old: No.  I didn’t know that was an option. — @XplodingUnicorn
⇒ I’m the Krazy Glue that holds my family together. — @copymama
⇒ You think you are in charge of your house until your kid gets out of bed and you panic and hide the ice cream you are eating. — @simonholland
⇒ My daughter on in-person learning: “They couldn’t keep the bathrooms clean; how are they going to disinfect the whole school daily?” — @stacyhopkinsga
⇒ Probably the biggest gift I can give my grandkids one day is to just call me grandpa. Not poppy or pop-pop or pawpaw or peepaw or ploopaglurp. Just grandpa. — TheCatWhisperer
⇒ Showed my kid how a catapult works with a spoon and a pencil.  He was impressed.  My wife finding Mac and Cheese on the ceiling?  Not so much. — @The_Albinoshrek
⇒ Last night I tucked my son in, kissed him goodnight and he hugged me and said “goodbye mommy” so I guess I won’t be sleeping until he moves out. — @Divergentmama


Because of social distancing, cases of flu have plummeted in Australia. It’s the middle of winter in the southern hemisphere, yet Australia reported just 85 confirmed flu cases the last two weeks of June. The same time period last year? 22,000!


1953 [67] Ken Burns, NYC, Emmy Award-winning writer, producer, documentary-maker (“The Dust Bowl”, “The Civil War”, “Baseball”)

1953 [67] Tim Gunn, Washington DC, fashion consultant/TV personality (“Project Runway” 2011-17), “Under the Gunn” 2014)/author (“A Guide to Quality, Taste & Style”)

1953 [67] Geddy Lee (Gary Lee Weinrib), Toronto ON, classic rock singer-bassist (Rush-‘Tom Sawyer’, ‘Closer to the Heart’)

1953 [67] Patti Scialfa, Deal NJ, classic rock singer (E Street Band-‘Born In the USA’, ‘Glory Days’)/Mrs. Bruce Springsteen since 1991

1966 [54] Martina McBride (Schiff), Medicine Lodge KS, country singer (‘Independence Day’, ‘I’m Gonna Love You Through It’)

1972 [48] Wil Wheaton, Burbank CA, TV actor (“Star Trek: The Next Generation” 1987-94, “The Big Bang Theory” 2009-19)/movie actor (“Stand By Me”) COMING UP…”Rent-A-Pal”, 2020

1973 [47] Wanyá Morris, Philadelphia PA, pop-R&B singer (Boyz II Men-‘I’ll Make Love to You’, ‘End Of the Road’)

1974 [46] Josh Radnor, Columbus OH, TV actor (‘Ted Mosby’ on “How I Met Your Mother” 2005-14)

• “International Lasagna Day” celebrating the famous Italian dish that’s become a worldwide favorite. Almost all recipes for the “perfect lasagna” feature ricotta as the cheese of choice.

• “National Chicken Wing Day”, first proclaimed in 1977 by Buffalo NY mayor Stan Makowski. Legend has it that spicy “Buffalo Wings” were invented at the city’s Anchor Bar in 1964.

• “International Tiger Day”, set aside to promote a global system for protecting the natural habitats of tigers and to raise public awareness and support for tiger conservation issues.

• “Lipstick Day”, celebrating the cosmetic that has allowed women to quit biting their lips to make them appear pinker.

• “Rain Day” in Waynesburg, Pennsylvania, an annual festival that started when a local farmer noticed it always seems to rain on July 29th. They now claim it’s rained on this date in 115 of the 146 years since…alas, this year’s event is a virtual festival. (Do they have an alternate date in case of sun?)
NET: http://raindayfestival.com/

• “National Cheese Sacrifice Purchase Day”, it’s unknown how the day got started, or how exactly cheese should be sacrificed, but most sources say it can be done by buying cheese and breaking off some to place in a trap, in order to catch mice. So, purchase the cheese upon this day, and a mouse-free house is here to stay!

[Thurs] Father-in-Law Day
[Thurs] Cheesecake Day
[Fri] Jump for Jelly Beans Day
[Fri] National Mutt Day

2000 [20] Jennifer Aniston weds Brad Pitt in a private ceremony at Malibu, California (they divorce in 2005)

2006 [14] Pamela Anderson weds for the second time (after divorcing Tommy Lee), to Kid Rock on a yacht off the French resort of St Tropez (they split after 4 months of marriage)

2005 [15] An anonymous bidder plays $1 million at auction for the original handwritten lyrics to The Beatles’ ‘All You Need Is Love’

2019 [01] The country rap single ‘Old Town Road’ by Lil Nas X (remixed with Billy Ray Cyrus) sets the record for longest run at the top of US singles chart (#1 for 17 weeks, stayed there for two more)

2003 [17] Boston’s Bill Mueller becomes the first player in Major League Baseball history to hit grand slam home runs from both sides of the plate in a single game (Sox 14-7 over Rangers)

2013 [07] In one of the largest-ever jewelry heists, close to €103 million (US$121 million) in diamonds and other jewels are stolen from the Carlton Intercontinental Hotel diamond show in Cannes, France


✓ More people die playing golf than any other sport (Leading causes: heart attacks and strokes).
✓ Mosquitos are attracted to dark-colored clothing, such as black, blue or red.
✓ Roman statues were often made with heads that could be removed and replaced with other heads. (Thinking a-head?)
✓ In many cases, ransom paid to hackers is tax deductible. So is ransom paid to kidnappers.
✓ Soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo refuses to get any tattoos just so he can continue donating blood.
✓ Donald Trump was the inspiration for the character ‘Biff Tannen’ in the “Back to the Future” trilogy.

Best of BS . . .
What are they filling the sports channels with these days? Ill-conceived events like …
• Kick-fencing
• Carp Pro Tourney
• Awfulminton
• Supersoaker Trap Shooting
• Goat Rodeo
• Hopping
• Pinching
• The Clove Throw
• Stroller Derby
-First published in BS in 2016

➠ The RSPCA in the U.K. rescued a deer with its antlers caught in climbing rope. (Now, if only someone would rescue me from those recurring nightmares brought-on by that 8th grade gym class climbing-rope incident…)
➠ A visitor to a South Carolina state park captured video showing a trio of law-abiding alligators using a crosswalk to make their way across a road. (They call these: “Navigators!” . . . I’ll show myself to the door, thank you.)
➠ A study suggests that the biggest sign your spouse might be cheating on you is if they are overprotective of their cell phone. (And also if her first name is ‘Megan’ and her last name is ‘Fox’.
➠ A Portsmouth, England man was fined for pretending to be a ghost in a local cemetery.  (And he would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for those meddling kids…)
➠ Fact of the Day: By peeing in the shower, you can save about 1,160 gallons of water a year. (What kinda savings can I expect for peeing in the dishwasher? What? Only me?)

Summer fun:  https://tinyurl.com/y6kzaqwx

When was the most inappropriate time that you burst into uncontrollable laughter?

• Besides water, what is the world’s most popular drink?
a) Milk
b) Tea [CORRECT]
c) Coffee
d) Mint Julep

• What is the only vowel on a standard computer keyboard that is NOT in the top line of letters?
a) “A” [CORRECT]
b) “E”
c) “I”
d) Sometimes “Y”

• In which US state was the television show “Roseanne” set?
a) Idaho
b) Illinois [CORRECT]
c) Ohio
d) Ontario

Home is where you take your pants off.

Question:  You’re twice as likely to do THIS in the afternoon at work as you are in the in the morning.
Answer:  Complain.

If speaking kindly to plants helps them grow… imagine what being kind to humans can do.


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