July 31 2020

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Friday, July 31, 2020 — Edition: #6752

The BS Press!

The Bull Sheet is headed off for its annual summer holiday and will not be publishing Monday August 3 through Friday August 7. All subscribers will receive credit for missed service days. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Monday August 10.

★ Matthew McConaughey can now add “author” to his impressive resume. The Oscar-winning actor announced on social media that he is releasing his first memoir, “Greenlights” this fall. In an Instagram video, he said: “So, ever since I learned to write, I’ve been keeping a journal, writing down anything that turned me on, turned me off, made me laugh, made me cry, made me question, or kept me up at night.” In a subsequent interview, McConaughey called the book: “an album, a record, a story of my life so far.” Greenlights will be released on October 20 and is available for preorder now.
★ One day after flying to Wyoming, Kim Kardashian was already back home in Los Angeles without her husband, Kanye West. It was the first time the couple had seen each other since the rapper’s breakdown at his first presidential rally and the Twitter tirade that followed. He also tweeted that Kris Jenner was no longer allowed to see his children and that he’s been trying to get a divorce from Kim ever since she met with Meek Mill. The couple was photographed having a tense conversation, with Kardashian crying and West looking animated. According to reports, Kim Kardashian is “emotional,” “exhausted,” and “hurt” over her husband’s actions.
★ Netflix has announced that Ryan Murphy’s highly anticipated origin story of the Nurse Ratched character from “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” will debut Sept. 18th. It was announced in 2017 that Murphy and his frequent collaborator Sarah Paulson would be joining forces again for “Ratched”. Nurse Ratched was portrayed by Louise Fletcher in the 1975 film, which also starred Jack Nicholson. The new drama finds Mildred Ratched in 1947, arriving in California to seek employment at a psychiatric hospital where new and unsettling experiments have begun on the human mind.
★ Netflix has raided the former UPN network’s library, acquiring the rights to seven popular Black sitcoms, which will begin rolling out this weekend. The streaming service has grabbed the rights to “Moesha,” “Sister, Sister,” “The Game,” “Girlfriends,” “The Parkers,” “Half & Half” and “One on One.” “Moesha,” which starred Brandy Norwood and ran for six seasons on UPN, will debut on Netflix tomorrow.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Willie Nelson, guest host George Lopez (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Hasan Minhaj, Jason Isbell and The 400 Unit (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Colin Jost, Cristin Milioti, Nikki Glaspie (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Daisy Edgar-Jones, Paul Mescal, Leslie Odom Jr. (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Kerry Washington, Brigitte Amiri, Judy Gold
• “The Talk” (CBS): Cedric the Entertainer, La La Anthony
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Regis Philbin Farewell Celebration Special (R)
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Scarlett Johansson, Joel Kinnaman (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Jon Stewart, Laverne Cox (R)
• “The Go-Go’s (SHOWTIME): The Go-Go’s become the first successful, all-girl band to write their own songs and play their own instruments.

• “Sleeping With Danger” (LIFETIME): Flight attendant Kate Jewell must go into hiding when the man of her dreams becomes increasingly jealous and violent.
• “Romance in the Air” (HALLMARK): A woman gets a chance at happiness when she returns home and reunites with a childhood friend.
• “NHL Hockey” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Playoff qualifying rounds begin – NYR vs. Carolina; Chicago vs. Edmonton; Florida vs. NYI; Montreal vs. Pittsburgh; Winnipeg vs. Calgary

• “Fridge Wars” (CW): Series premiere. Culinary superstars Matt Basile and Massimo Capra attempt to spice things up by fueling one fit family and stretching it out for another.
• “Taskmaster” (CW) Season 8 premiere. Contestants take on hilarious challenges, including Baby Monitors, Powerful Smells and Seductive Dummies.
• “Elizabeth Smart: Finding Justice” (LIFETIME): Candra Torres sits down with fellow kidnapping victim Elizabeth Smart to discuss life in captivity at the hands of a master manipulator and murderer.
• “NHL Hockey” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Remainder of playoff qualifying rounds begin – Nashville vs. Phoenix; Philadelphia vs. Boston; Colorado vs. St. Louis; Toronto vs. Columbus; Minnesota vs. Vancouver

• Ariana Grande – Shared a teaser of her newest fragrance via Instagram Stories, and promised that the name, bottle design and packaging will all “be revealed soon.” When asked by a fan about a potential new concert movie, she played coy.
• Dua Lipa – Says her dream has come true after getting her idol Madonna to appear on her upcoming remix of ‘Levitating’. Her tweet: “LEVITATING REMIXED BY THE BLESSED MADONNA FEATURING MY IDOLS MADONNA & MISSY ELLIOTT – 14TH OF AUGUST – DREAM COME TRUE LETS GO!!!!!!
• Melanie C — The former Spice Girl has announced the upcoming release of her self-titled, eighth studio album. She also dropped the new single ‘In and Out of Love’, saying: “It’s so brilliant to release a pure pop, upbeat, positive fun tune. I think it’s exactly what the world needs right now!”
• 30 Seconds to Mars — Jared Leto has confirmed they are back in the studio working on their sixth studio album. The “Suicide Squad” actor posted a snap of himself recording vocals and called on his millions of social media followers to suggest the title for their follow-up to 2018’s “America”.
• Sammy Hagar — has listed his Lake Arrowhead, California French-inspired chateau for $3.9 million. The 6,557 square feet home has eight bedrooms and nine bathrooms. He originally listed it for $5.25 million in 2017.
• Lou Reed — A newly remastered deluxe edition of his “New York” album will be released Sept. 25, including 26 previously unreleased recordings. Originally released in 1989, it was hailed by critics and fans alike, and earned him his first Grammy nomination.
• Garth Brooks – is removing himself from all future Entertainer of the Year nominations at the CMA Awards, having won the honor seven times. Quote: “It’s time for somebody else to hold that award, know what that Entertainer feels like. Because they’re all out there busting their butts.”
• Shania Twain – is developing a new TV drama series based on the best-selling “Heart of Texas” romance novels by Debbie Macomber. Twain says: “There are some parallels in the story to my own story – a young family carrying on after the parents die, and the female…having all this responsibility.”
• Terri Clark – will release the holiday album “It’s Christmas…Cheers!” on Sept. 25, and it features a number of big-name guests: Dierks Bentley, Vince Gill, Ricky Skaggs, Pam Tillis, Suzy Bogguss, and the Oak Ridge Boys are among those appearing, along with Nashville’s venerable Western swing outfit the Time Jumpers, who offer musical accompaniment on the LP’s 10 songs.

If you’re one of those handy people who have decided to make your own face mask, here’s a tip: Make sure it has at least two layers. According to a new study, three layers is ideal for a homemade face mask, but two will get the job done. One layer? That isn’t going to slow or stop the spread of COVID-19. The Australian researchers also pointed out that a number of factors can influence the effectiveness of a face mask, including the material, design, fit, and how often the mask is washed.
(And whether you wear it over your nose…Hey baseball players!)
(I’m just going through my closet, looking for a 3-ply bandana…)
(What did we ever talk about before we had to wear face masks?)

➢ A typo in a “death certificate” has landed a 25-year-old New York man in hot water. Robert Berger was already in trouble after pleading guilty to stealing a car and attempting to steal a truck. In an attempt at avoiding jail time, he allegedly fled the state and had his fiancé pass along a phoney death certificate, showing his death as a suicide. Upon close inspection, authorities deemed the document to be fake thanks to a typo. The word “Registry” was spelled “Regsitry,” according to prosecutors, who noted there were other inconsistencies in font type and size. Now he’s facing another charge. (If he’s going to that kind of trouble, why not just print a “Get out of jail free” card?)
➢ KFC says its fried chicken-scented Crocs are sold out. That’s right — someone had the bright idea to pair the famous footwear with the fried chicken icon to make limited-edition kicks — and they flew off (virtual) shelves Tuesday, selling out in less than 90 minutes, even though they went for $60 a pair, with $3 going toward KFC’s employee scholarship fund. The Crocs look like a bucket chicken, and — most shockingly — feature a chicken-scented “Jibbitz” charm shaped like a drumstick. KFC points out that while the Crocs are sold out, the good news is that real buckets of chicken are still available. (Finger-kickin’ good?)
-Canoe, TMZ

A recent survey found that in spite of the pandemic and repeated recommendations by public health experts, 12% of adults still regularly fail to wash their hands after using the washroom. The poll of 2,000 Brits found the average adult now washes their hands eight times per day, an improvement over pre-coronavirus levels of five times per day. The research also found that people are washing their hands a bit longer, averaging 19 seconds, as opposed to 12 seconds prior to the pandemic.


1949 [71] Susan Bennett, Burlington VT, singer/voice actress (best known as the original voice of Apple’s virtual assistant “Siri”)

1958 [62] Mark Cuban, Pittsburgh PA, sports executive (owner of the Dallas Mavericks)/reality TV star (“Shark Tank” 2010-present)/chairman of AXS TV/entrepreneur (sold Broadcast.com to Yahoo for $5.9 billion in 1999

1962 [58] Wesley Snipes, Orlando FL, movie actor (“White Men Can’t Jump”, “The Expendables 3″, “Blade” films)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (1998)

1965 [55] JK (Joanne) Rowling, Yate UK, mega-selling author (“Harry Potter” novels)

1978 [42] Zac Brown, Cumming GA, country singer (Zac Brown Band-‘Beautiful Drug’, ‘Chicken Fried’)

1978 [42] Will Champion, Southampton UK, rock drummer (Coldplay-‘Paradise’, ‘Viva La Vida’)

1979 [41] BJ (Benjamin Joseph) Novak, Newton MA, TV actor (“The Office” 2005-13)/movie actor (“Inglourious Basterds”)/author (“One More Thing: Stories & Other Stories”)

1998 [22] Rico Rodriguez, College Station TX, TV actor (‘Manny Delgado’ on “Modern Family” 2009-19)

SATURDAY- Joe Elliott (Def Leppard) is 61; Chuck D (Public Enemy) is 60; John Carroll Lynch (“American Horror Story”) is 57; Coolio (‘Gangsta’s Paradise’) is 57; Adam Duritz (Counting Crows) is 56; Sam Mendes (“Skyfall”) is 55; Jason Momoa (“Aquaman”) is 41

SUNDAY- Mary-Louise Parker (“Weeds”) is 56; Kevin Smith (“Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back”) is 50; Sam Worthington (“Avatar”) is 44; Edward Furlong (“Terminator 2: Judgement Day”) is 43

• “System Administrator Appreciation Day”, to honor that special person in the office who maintains the computer network. (Today, and today only, remember to try restarting your computer before you bother him/her!)

• “Mutts Day”, honoring all dogs of mixed breeds. Purebred owners often view them as lesser in many ways but mutt owners know better!

• “Uncommon Instruments Awareness Day”, a celebration of strange musical instruments — such as the bubble organ, fluba, and dulcimer. Check out some REALLY weird ones here …
NET: http://www.oddee.com/item_98118.aspx

• “Cotton Candy Day”, celebrating the sweet, sugary taste-treat that melts in your mouth. It was invented in 1897 as ‘Fairy Floss’, then renamed in 1920. In Greece, Israel, and India it is often referred to as ‘Old Woman’s Hair’. Yuck.

• “Raspberry Cake Day”, a whole day dedicated to enjoying raspberries in cake format!

• “World Ranger Day”, initiated by the 54 member associations of the International Ranger Federation to celebrate the work rangers do to protect the world’s natural & cultural treasures.
NET: http://internationalrangers.org/world-ranger-day

• “Avocado Day”, it’s not just for delicious guacamole. Targeting insulin resistance with heart-healthy fats and fighting Alzheimer’s with its Omega 3 fatty acids, the avocado also prevents and repairs damage due to its abundance of Vitamins C, E and K. (And apparently makes a fine spread for toast, if you’re a millennial…!)

• “August”, originally the 6th month of the Roman year, called “Sextilis”. In 8 BC, Emperor Augustus Caesar persuaded the Senate to change the month’s name to ‘Augustus’ in his honor. If it weren’t for him, today would be the first of Sextilis!
• “World Wide Web Day”, marking the birth of the Web in August 1990 at the Europe Laboratory for Particle Physics in Switzerland. Tim Berners-Lee & Robert Cailliau developed a prototype Web browser and introduced Hypertext Markup Language (HTML) (And Al Gore was nowhere to be found…)
• “Girlfriends Day”, either some girl’s greedy grab at gifts from her guy, or perhaps a day for ‘the girls’ to hang out and share woman-to-woman time? (And you will notice, guys, that ‘Girlfriends’ is in the plural form. Take from that what you will…)
• “Respect for Parents Day”. So, what’s the best way to gain respect … setting an example or creating fear?
• “Spider-Man Day”, marking the superhero’s debut in 1962 in issue #15 of “Amazing Fantasy” comics.
• “Homemade Pie Day”, pumpkin pie, which is first recorded in a cookbook in 1675, originated from British spiced and boiled squash. It was not popularized in America until the early 1800s.
• “Play Ball Day”, baseball umpires call out, “Play ball!” to start games. Here are a few ball-based sports to get the proverbial ball rolling: baseball, basketball, billiards, bocce ball, bowling, carpet ball, croquet, dodge ball, field hockey, foosball, football, four square, golf, handball, jacks, juggling, lacrosse, marbles, paddleball, paddle tennis, paint ball, polo, racquetball, softball, squash, stickball, tee ball, tetherball, tennis, volleyball, water polo and waffle ball.

• “Ice Cream Sandwich Day”, celebrating the chilly goodness of stuffing ice cream between a couple of wafers. Stone cold brilliant!
• “Dinosaurs Day”, enthusiasts dig up bones and dig through drawings of prehistoric creatures on this historical holiday. Here are a few dinosaur films to unearth today: “Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend”, “Dinosaur”, “The Flintstones”, “Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs”, “Journey to the Center of the Earth”, “Jurassic Park”, “King Kong, The Land Before Time”, “Land of the Lost”, “The Land That Time Forgot” and “We’re Back – A Dinosaur’s Story”.
• “Coloring Book Day”, spend some time coloring with your friends, children or grandchildren — or by yourself…try to stay inside the lines!
• “Take A Penny/Leave A Penny Day”, unless you’re in Canada, Australia, New Zealand or Netherlands!

1995 [25] Walt Disney Co acquires ABC-TV in a $19-billion deal.

1980 [40] The “Eagles” split up after Glenn Frey and Don Felder go at it on stage. The group would reunite in 1994 for the “Hell Freezes Over” tour, named after Don Henley’s recurring statement about when the group would get back together.

2016 [04] Justin Timberlake accepts the ‘Decade Award’ at the Teen Choice Awards, the first time the award is given out.

2014 [06] US president Barack Obama authorizes first air strikes against Islamic State

2012 [08] US swimmer Michael Phelps breaks the record for ‘Greatest Number of Medals Won at the Olympics’ by increasing his total to 22. (Retired from competition with 28)


✓ In Albania, nodding your head means ‘no’ and shaking your head means ‘yes’.
✓ Some interns at Google earn up to US$90,000.
✓ There was no punctuation until the 15th century.
✓ Nike “Air” soles do not actually have air in them.
✓ Dolphins nap with one eye open.
✓ People who swear a lot are usually more honest than those who don’t.
-WhattheFFacts, RandomFactGenerator

Best of BS . . .
It’s sooo hot that…
• I saw a funeral procession pull into a Dairy Queen.
• My Easy-Bake Oven finally cooked something.
• My ex’s heart is only a little chilly.
• My “Frozen” DVD turned into “Waterworld”.
• Even exhibitionists are staying inside.
• The hipster down the street shaved.
• The teenager down the street is wearing his black hoodie with the hood down.
• Wal Mart didn’t even kick me out for being naked. This time.
• Some like it.
• I had a hot flash and didn’t even notice.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

➠ An 86-year-old North Carolina man tried robbing a bank recently. (Police:  “You have the right to remain. . . Yep, he fell asleep again.”)
➠ I just read that people who drink too much during middle age risk memory loss later in life.  (Well, at least Ben Affleck won’t remember that he was Batman!)
➠ I just read that people who drink too much during middle age risk memory loss later in life.   (Well, at least Tara Reid won’t remember doing those “Sharknado” movies…)
➠ J.K. Rowling is 55 today! Meanwhile, the character she created, ‘Harry Potter’, celebrates his ‘fictional’ 40th birthday on the exact same day. (Fans all over the world will celebrate with their ‘fictional’ friends.)
➠ Wesley Snipes is 58 today. (What do you give the guy who has had everything? . . . . confiscated by the IRS?)

Mama Mia:  https://tinyurl.com/yycqtsoo

What’s the dumbest thing you did as a kid?

Stop trying to make everyone happy. You’re not tequila.

Question:  25% of adults have requested THIS at a fast-food drive-thru window. What is it?
Answer:  Something for their pet

Be happy not because everything is good…but because you can see the good side of everything.


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