Wednesday, June 16, 2021 — Edition: #7009
Can You Believe This Sheet?
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Actress Lisa Banes, known for her work on Broadway and in films such as “Gone Girl” and “Cocktail”, has died following a hit-and-run accident that took place earlier this month in New York City. She was 65. Banes’ manager confirmed the news of her death on Tuesday, sharing, “We are heartsick over Lisa’s tragic and senseless passing.” Banes was struck by a scooter or motorcycle while crossing a street on June 4. According to police, the driver did not stop. She also had TV roles on “Nashville,” “Madam Secretary,” “Masters of Sex” and “NCIS.”
-People, AP
★ Chrissy Teigen insists she’s a changed woman who’s become more empathetic since her days of Internet trolling, and says she’s trying to own up to her mistakes and better herself. She issued a more in-depth apology on the heels of the backlash she received last month when old tweets resurfaced, in which she was mean and demeaning to Courtney Stodden. Teigen doesn’t name names, but says she’s reaching out privately to others she insulted in an attempt to make amends. It has been pointed out to her that Lindsay Lohan and Farrah Abraham are also past targets of Teigen’s trolling.
-TMZ
★ Peacock has reportedly ordered 10 episodes of a TV adaptation of “Ted”. Seth MacFarlane is in final negotiations to return as the voice of the mischievous stuffed bear made famous in the 2012 movie and its sequel. It appears the show will serve as a prequel to the movies. Ted was a blockbuster comedy directed and co-written by MacFarlane. It also starred Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Joel McHale and Giovanni Ribisi. “Ted 2” followed in 2015.
-PopCulture
★ Dame Helen Mirren wants to play a ‘James Bond’ villain. She is calling on 007 bosses to make her the first female baddie in the history of the iconic spy franchise. Mirren plays the evil ‘Hespera’ in the upcoming DC Extended Universe movie “Shazam! Fury of the Gods”, and told Access Hollywood: “I have not often played the main villain. When they were doing James Bond, I was like, ‘Why don’t they have a fabulous female villain?… I was like, ‘Come on guys … have a great female villain.’” Although it hasn’t happened yet, she is betting it will soon.
-ContactMusic
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Zooey Deschanel, Sam Richardson, Kodak Black
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Seth Meyers, Annie Murphy, Coldplay
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Mary J. Blige, Sleater-Kinney
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Terry Crews, Ann-Margret, Stevie Nistor
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Margot Robbie, Rose Byrne, Polo G
• “Conan” (TBS): JB Smoove
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): June Diane Raphael, Sutton Stracke
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): D.L. Hughley, Michael Bolton
• “The Talk” (CBS): Luke Wilson, Aasif Mandvi, guest co-host Ne-Yo
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Josh Gad, Wilson Cruz, Patric Richardson
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Heidi Klum, Jon Devore
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Salma Hayek, Gabriel Chavarria, Danielle Kartes, Rauw Alejandro
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Sarah Chalke, Roan Curtis, Heidi Gardner (R)
• “Dave” (FXX): Season 2 premiere. Dave’s making a video that will vault him to global success, but he’s forced to face reality as the project threatens to implode.
• “Two Steps Home” (HGTV): Premiere. A teacher wants to upgrade to a bigger house with space for her children and growing baking business; after some smart updates net maximum profit on her current home, Jon and Mary search for a house where they can create a baker’s kitchen.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• H.E.R., Billie Eilish and Kid Cudi – are featured in the official trailer for Amazon Prime Video’s “Prime Day Show”. The clip teases all three performances — Eilish’s will be set in Paris, H.E.R.’s will harken back to 1930s LA, and Kid Cudi’s is set on the moon. All 3 episodes premiere tomorrow. LINK: https://youtu.be/fLHtu9uT5CY
• Justin Bieber and Lil Baby – will headline Jay-Z’s Made in America festival in Philadelphia. Megan Thee Stallion, Doja Cat, Roddy Ricch, Bobby Shmurda and A$AP Ferg will also perform at the Sept 4-5 event. The festival, held on the Benjamin Franklin Parkway, will benefit the American Civil Liberties Union of Pennsylvania and the REFORM Alliance.
• The Cure — Robert Smith believes their next 2 albums will be their last. He says they have poured every emotion into the 2 upcoming releases, and he “definitely can’t do this again”. He calls the new albums “10 years of life distilled into a couple of hours of intense stuff.” No release dates yet.
• U2 — guitarist The Edge has designed a new guitar strap, and is selling them to support Love Welcomes, which “helps refugee women begin to stitch their lives back together” by providing skills training, employment and support. The first 500 sold – each of which are unique and made to order – will come with a personally signed postcard from The Edge. LINK: https://www.lovewelcomes.org/collections/the-edge
• Whitesnake – David Coverdale has confirmed that he plans to retire from touring after his band’s planned 2022 shows. He still plans to write and record fresh material after retiring from the road, and, as he put it, “We have a poopload of projects to do under the Whitesnake banner.”
• KISS — have announced the next leg of their “End of the Road Tour”, which will launch on Aug. 18 in Mansfield, MA, and conclude Oct. 9 in Tampa. The band has also added 8 new show dates to the schedule, in Ohio, Nevada, Florida and California.
• Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton — sparked rumors they’ve married in secret, after she was spotted wearing what appeared to be a wedding band. Shelton’s hands were ring-free, and representatives for the pair have yet to comment.
• Brantley Gilbert, HARDY and Toby Keith – On Friday, they will release ‘The Worst Country Song of All Time’. Gilbert shared a snippet of the song on social media on Monday. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/dru4hs9c
• Jimmie Allen — will release a deluxe version of his “Bettie James” album on June 25. “Bettie James Gold Edition” will contain 9 brand new collaborations, plus the 7 previously featured on “Bettie James.” Newly featured artists are Babyface, BRELAND, Keith Urban, LANCO, Lathan Warlick, Lindsay Ell, Little Big Town, LOCASH, Monica, Neon Union, Pitbull, teamwork. and Vikina.
• Brooks & Dunn – are set for their first nationwide tour in a decade. Their “Reboot 2021 Tour” includes 7 newly-announced dates. Travis Tritt and Elvie Shane will open certain shows. The tour, which was initially set for last year, launches Sept. 2 in Indianapolis.
SHOOTING THE BULL
A LOT OF FATHER’S DAY CARDS ARE GOING TO WASTE:
The father of ‘the world’s largest family’, who had 39 wives and 94 children, has died at age 76. Ziona Chana was the leader of a religious sect – called Chana pawl – which allows its male followers to be polygamous. His enormous family, thought to be the largest in the world, all live together, and also includes 33 grandchildren and one great-grandchild, plus 14 daughters-in-law. The family live in a 4-storey house with 100-rooms in the Indian village of Baktawng Tlangnuam. Chana’s unusual lifestyle meant that he and his massive mansion have become a tourist attraction. The whopping house includes its own school, workshops, playground, areas to rear livestock and vegetable garden. A typical family meal requires up to 30 chickens, 132lbs of potatoes and 220lbs of rice.
(And just imagine the laundry!)
(Doctors say Chana suffered from diabetes and hypertension. He had 94 kids. Of COURSE, he had high blood pressure!)
(He’s gone on to his eternal reward. Somewhere that he does NOT have 39 wives!)
-LADBible
ICE CREAM THERAPY:
Does a bad day mean you’ll be making an extra trip or two to the refrigerator later? If so, you’ve got company. According to a new study, we are more likely to turn to food as a mood-booster above any other coping mechanism. 2,000 Americans were asked about the strategies they use when they’re in a bad mood. 43% said they “eat something” to feel better. What kind of food do we reach for? Half of all respondents choose “sweet treats,” while “salty snacks” came second at 38%. Other commonly-used methods for lifting one’s spirits weren’t nearly as popular. Just 32% say they stretch or exercise, while 29% go outside for some fresh air.
(Well, that explains why I can’t find anyone to drink with anymore!)
(Was there an option for “all of the above”? Except exercise, of course…)
(Does anyone else have a bad day on purpose when you know your wife picked up Krispy Kreme the day before?)
-StudyFinds
SPACE NEWS – FROM BEGINNING TO END:
➢ Scientists say humans could make babies on Mars…and other planets. In a study, researchers at Japan’s University of Yamanashi discovered that sperm can potentially survive in space for hundreds of years, meaning that humans could possibly someday reproduce on the Red Planet. How does one figure this out? The scientists studied the effects of radiation on a batch of mouse sperm that had been freeze-dried and stored aboard the International Space Station for 6 years. It was previously believed that space radiation would destroy sperm, rendering breeding impossible — or even causing cancer. (Space Station astronauts are said to be now quietly packing condoms in their carry-ons…)
➢ We should not seek to communicate with aliens because doing so could be the death of us all, according to a physicist. Mark Buchanan warns that we should stop trying to contact different life forms, and we should be grateful there is been is no evidence of contact yet. In a cheerily-titled article in the Washington Post called “Contacting Aliens Could End All Life on Earth”, Buchanan explains that using today’s technology, “Without oversight, even one person…could take actions affecting the future of the entire planet” … “because any aliens we ultimately encounter will likely be far more technologically advanced than we are.” He says because most other stars are much older than our sun, “there ought to be many civilizations in our galaxy millions of years more advanced than ours. And many of these could already be exploring and colonizing the galaxy”. He says that maybe the reason they remain out of contact is because they know “that sending out signals is catastrophically risky.” (Yup. Totally the plot of a sci-fi movie!)
-NYPost, TheSun
MOST ANNOYING SONGS OF ALL-TIME:
(As voted by the “Ultimate Guitar” community…)
1. My Humps – Black Eyed Peas
2. WAP — Cardi B (Feat. Megan Thee Stallion)
3. Baby Shark (of course!)
4. Friday – Rebecca Black
5. Thunder – Imagine Dragons
6. Baby – Justin Bieber
7. Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) — Beyoncé
8. Whip My Hair – Willow Smith
9. Memories – Maroon 5
10. All I Want for Christmas is You – Mariah Carey
(What song would you like to add?)
(Don’t worry, Nickelback haters, they’re represented in the top-25. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2nzm9e49
-UltimateGuitar
DID YOU KNOW?
A houseplant with just 9 leaves has sold for a record-breaking US $19,297 on a New Zealand auction site. Bids for the “very rare white variegated Rhaphidophora Tetrasperma” closed Sunday night, after a flurry of bidding resulted in “meridianlamb” being named the eventual winner. In New Zealand dollars, the winning bid was $27,100. In the item description from the seller, it says: “This plant has 8 leaves with the 9th just about to uncurl. Each leaf has excellent variegation as does the stem and is well rooted in a 14cm pot.” Trade Me spokesperson Millie Silvester said it was “the most expensive houseplant ever sold” on the auction site.
-CNN
BS CHRONOMETER 06.16.21
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1955 [66] Laurie Metcalf, Carbondale IL, TV actress (‘Jackie Harris’ on “Rosanne” (1988-97, 2018) and “The Conners” since 2018
1970 [51] Phil ‘Lefty’ Mickelson, San Diego CA, pro golfer (44 PGA tour wins, 5 majors)/World Golf Hall of Fame (2012)
1972 [49] John Cho, Seoul South Korea, movie actor (‘Sulu’ in “Star Trek” films, “Harold & Kumar” movies)
1973 [48] Eddie Cibrian, Burbank CA, TV actor (“Rosewood” 2016-17, “CSI: Miami” 2009-10)/married to LeAnne Rimes since 2011
1978 [43] Daniel Bruhl, Barcelona Spain, movie actor (“Captain America: Civil War”, “Inglourious Basterds”)
1982 [39] Missy Peregrym, Montréal QC, TV actress (“Rookie Blue” 2010-15, “Heroes” 2007)
1987 [34] Diana DeGarmo, Birmingham AL, pop singer (3rd season runner-up on “American Idol” 2004)/TV actress (“The Young and the Restless” 2011-12)
2000 [20] Bianca Andreescu, Mississauga ON, pro tennis player (Canadian and US Open winner, 2019)/highest-ever ranked Canadian female in history (4th in 2019, currently 7th)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Fresh Veggies Day”, urging us to eat healthy by including fresh veggies with every meal and snack. Better still, be a vegetarian for a day. Your body will like it. (My top 5 favorite vegetables: 1. Tomato 2. Lettuce.)
• “Fudge Day”, celebrating the ooey-gooey treat that can be inhaled warm or cold. Fudge is said to be a result of the late-night cravings of Vassar College girls in the early 20th century.
• “International Day of the African Child”, initiated by the Organization of African Unity in 1991. It honors those who participated in the Soweto Uprising on this date in 1976. In South Africa, it’s celebrated as “Youth Day”.
• “World Sea Turtle Day”, to honor and highlight the importance of sea turtles. Not only are they beautiful, they also show incredible perseverance and resiliency– after all, they have been nesting on beaches for millions of years.
• “Vinegar Day”, this common household product brightens many salads, is used in canning, and can shine up a window, too! Varieties include: Apple cider * Balsamic * Beer * Cane * Coconut * Date * Distilled vinegar * East Asian black * Flavored vinegar * Fruit * Honey * Job’s tears * Kiwifruit * Kombucha * Malt * Palm * Raisin* Rice * Spirit vinegar * Sherry vinegar * White * Wine *
• “Boomsday”, a celebration of “Ulysses” and its author James Joyce. It is celebrated by academics and diehard fans, and by many who have never read the dense, convoluted, and oftentimes bewildering 1922 novel.
COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Garbage Man Day
[Thurs] Crocodile Day
[Fri] Autistic Pride Day
[Fri] International Panic Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1978 [43] The film “Grease” opens, starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John, based on the 1971 musical, and goes on to become the box-office smash hit of the summer
2005 [16] Tom Cruise proposes to actress-girlfriend Katie Holmes at the Eiffel Tower in Paris (their marriage lasts 2006-12)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2002 [19] Elvis Presley reappears on the UK singles chart for the first time since 1977 with the remix of ‘A Little Less Conversation’, breaking a 25-year stalemate with The Beatles for most chart-topping singles in British history
2007 [14] 62-year-old Rod Stewart and his 3rd wife, 36-year-old model Penny Lancaster, marry aboard a yacht in Portofino, Italy. (Quote from Rod prior to this: “Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.”)
2014 [07] Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony divorce. They were married in 2004 and welcomed twins Maximilian and Emme in 2008
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2010 [11] Bhutan becomes the first country to institute a total ban on tobacco
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ In the 1950s, both the U.S. and the U.S.S.R. had plans to bomb the Moon.
✓ The largest-ever hairball was found in a cow’s stomach, weighing 55 lbs. (25kg) and measuring 38 inches (97cm) around.
✓ The 3 most-popular condiments in German restaurants are mustard, horseradish and applesauce.
✓ More than 100,000 chemical reactions happen in the human brain every second.
✓ Beeping alarm clocks have been known to cause heart attacks.
✓ During WWII, novelty toilet paper was printed with images of Hitler, Hirohito and Mussolini.
-WTF Facts, BathroomReadersInstitute
Best of BS . . .
(Just in time for Fathers Day this Sunday . . .)
SHEET YOUR DAD SAYS:
• “Don’t make me stop this car!”
• “You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do!”
• “What did I just get finished telling you?”
• “Were you born in a barn? Close the door!”
• “Get your elbows off the table!”
• “When I was your age, I treated MY father with respect.”
• “Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.”
• “Act your age!”
• “Do you think I’m made of money?”
• “You call that noise ‘music’?”
• “Because I said so. That’s why!”
• “I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!”
• “Come here, pull my finger.”
• “Ask your mother.”
(What was you dad’s “go-to” phrase? What’s yours?)
-First published in BS 2000
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ The U.S. National Spelling Bee kicked off over the weekend and will conclude the week of July 8th on ESPN. (Here’s what I know about the National Spelling Bee: it starts with a bunch of kids, who battle it out on TV until there is one victor, who is crowned by Donald Sutherland and then returned to their home district. Or am I thinking of something else?)
➠ A massive heat wave has swept across the US, with all-time temperature records being broken. (Climate change has so many people moving toward water . . . that even the Great Pacific Garbage Patch has a Six-Flags.)
➠ 49-year-old Carmen Electra has been uploading hot bikini pics on Instagram that have gone viral. (“SWEET!” yelled my uncle from 1998.)
➠ Tupac Shakur would have turned 50 today. (To mark the occasion, he recorded three new albums…)
➠ Sunday is Father’s Day. (Or, as it’s widely-known in the NBA, “Opening Cards From Strangers-Day.”)
Just in time for “Fathers Day” it’s the …
BS ‘WHO’S YOUR DADDY?’ QUIZ:
We tell you the animal, you tell us what the father [male] is called. These are arranged roughly in order of difficulty …
• Homo Sapiens … Papa, Pops, Daddy
• Chicken … Rooster
• Turkey … Tom
• Horse … Stallion
• Goat … Billy
• Sheep … Ram
• Duck … Drake
• Moose … Bull
• Kangaroo … Jack
• Bee … Drone
• Squirrel … Buck
• Ferret … Hob
– EnchantedLearning, First published in BS in 2016
BS WEB GOODIE:
Well, I’ll be damned: https://tinyurl.com/8j78xu8c
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I don’t play “hard to get”. I play “too awkward to want”.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What one thing would the rest of your graduating class remember most about you?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: One study found that men start “turning into” their father at the age of 38. What is the #1 sign a man is becoming his dad?
Answer: Falling asleep on the living room recliner or couch
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Character is much easier kept than recovered.
