March 31 2021

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Wednesday, March 31, 2021 – Edition: #6956

Sheet Happens!

The Bull Sheet will not be publishing on Friday, April 2 to observe Good Friday. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Monday, April 5.

★ The Rosebud Motel, which was featured in every episode of “Schitt’s Creek”, has hit the marketplace. It’s priced to sell at $1.6 million US. The real building, actually named the Hockley Motel, is located near Orangeville, Ontario, about 50 miles (80 km) northwest of downtown Toronto. It has 6 units on 4,300-square-feet, plus a 2-story manager’s suite, plus a detached guest cottage and a barn. Before fame and the sitcom struck, it used as housing for Canadian basketball recruits. It found new life in 2015 when Schitt’s Creek hit the airwaves, and fans still flock to the site for selfies, thanks to the show’s second life on Netflix. The current owner says he would welcome the purchaser making it into a Schitt’s Creek-themed motel.
-Deadline, Yahoo
★ Sharon Osbourne got a payday of up eight figures from CBS as she exited “The Talk” last week amid allegations of racist behavior. According to a source, as reported by Page Six, “Sharon is walking away with a $5 to $10 million minimum payout and was able to spin that it was her decision [to leave the show]”. Under her departure agreement, Osbourne is not only getting big bucks, but she is free to speak out, and plans to give her side of the story sometime in the future.
★ Armie Hammer has been dropped from another film, in the wake of sexual assault allegations and continuous online chatter that has been spiraling across social media since the beginning of the year. He’s no longer attached to the thriller “Billion Dollar Spy,” according to Variety. Hammer was set to star opposite Mads Mikkelsen in the Cold War drama. Billion Dollar Spy was the one last remaining film on Hammer’s slate, meaning every studio that was in business with Hammer, prior to the allegations, has now officially cut ties with the actor.
★ Lindsay Lohan has entered the NFT market with her new single, ‘Lullaby’. She shared a teaser of the song on social media, which she made available via the FansForever digital platform. She had earlier predicted that NFTs (non-fungible token), a rising market within blockchain where single-impression unique digital art and goods known as the ‘token’ can be sold, will soon be all the rage in “Hollywood and beyond”.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jamie Foxx, Lauren Graham, AJR
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jerry Seinfeld, Taylor Kinney, Camilo (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Ringo Starr, Laura Benanti, Christopher Jackson (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Kenan Thompson, Steven Yeun, Julien Baker (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jared Leto, Jacob Collier (R)
• “Conan” (TBS): Wanda Sykes (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Gov. Gavin Newsom (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Ricky Gervais, Lana Condor, Rebecca Robbins
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kelly Rowland, Angelica Ross, guest host Kalen Allen
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Sharon Stone, Ian Somerhalder, Jake Hoot, MILCK
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Kenan Thompson, Julian Dennison, Tiki Barber
• “American Housewife” (ABC): Season 5 finale
• “The Masked Singer” (FOX): Another wildcard contestant debuts when the members of Group B return for their second performances of the season.
• “Game of Talents” (FOX): Contestants guess performers’ hidden talents, based only on their first impressions and a few wily clues. Wayne Brady hosts.

• Megan Thee Stallion — is stepping up for the Asian-American community in the wake of the recent shootings in Atlanta. She partnered with Fashion Nova and journalist-activist May Lee to donate $50,000 to the group Asian Americans Advancing Justice Atlanta. Megan posted: “We stand in solidarity with all Asian Americans in saying that enough is enough”.
• Alanis Morissette and the Black Pumas – will headline the virtual charity concert “Set Break” on April 10. It is being hosted by Blackline, which connects those in the music industry with mental health professionals. Also appearing: American Authors, Leon Bridges, Sara Bareilles, Bob Weir, Ben Folds, Los Lobos and more. Tune in on Twitch.
• Fleetwood Mac — Mick Fleetwood wants a reunion with “everyone who’s ever played” in the band, after recently reconciling with former guitarist Lindsey Buckingham. Quote: “My English pipe dream, sitting on top of a mushroom, would be that everyone who’s ever played in Fleetwood Mac would be welcome. That’s what would drive me, because this is all about a collective.”
• 54-40 – Their song ‘I Go Blind’ will be inducted into The Canadian Songwriters Hall of Fame in a live virtual presentation featuring singer Neil Osbourne tomorrow. The song enjoyed success twice: first when released by the band in 1986, and a decade later when a cover by Hootie & The Blowfish became a Billboard Top 5 hit after being featured on the show “Friends” and its soundtrack album.
• Oasis — Noel Gallagher says he regrets walking out on the final Oasis show in 2009. He says it would have been better if he and brother Liam had taken their dressing-room fight onto the stage with them, “which would have been like a monumental, mad (expletive) Oasis gig.” The incident in Paris proved to be the moment that split the band.
• Blake Shelton — will release his new album “Body Language” on May 21. It will include 12 songs, with the title track featuring the Swon Brothers, ‘Happy Anywhere’, his recent #1 duet with Gwen Stefani, and his current, Top 20 single ‘Minimum Wage’ among them.
• Brett Young — has scored his 7th consecutive #1 song on Billboard’s Country Airplay chart with ‘Lady’.
• Morgan Wallen — Justin Bieber has ended his prolonged stay at #1 on the albums chart. Bieber’s “Justice” took over the top spot this week after Wallen’s “Dangerous: The Double Album” spent 10 consecutive weeks atop the Billboard 200.
• Dolly Parton — Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams has shared that they have teamed up with Dolly for the new limited-edition “Strawberry Pretzel Pie”, a throwback to the Southern summer treat that traditionally consists of strawberry Jello, whipped cream cheese and Cool Whip on a pretzel crust.


It’s no surprise that in the wake of Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan’s bombshell interview with Oprah Winfrey, the popularity of the British royal family took a major hit. The hashtag #AbolishTheMonarchy began trending immediately after the chat was broadcast on March 7. But among those who still support the monarchy, a new favorite has emerged. According to a new YouGov poll, another member of the family has risen above even Her Majesty. Prince William edged out his grandmother, Queen Elizabeth, to be crowned the most popular of the U.K. royals. The Duke of Cambridge received a 74% approval rating, followed by the Queen with 72% and Duchess Catherine coming in third at 67%. Harry and Meghan have seen their popularity plummet in the UK since their exit from royal life last year. Harry, who was for many years the second most popular royal, now ranks 8th with a 40% approval rating. Meghan came in 11th, with a 32% approval rating and an eye-opening 40% negative rating.
(And that was just among her family!)
(How is it that Harry and Meghan supposedly “left” royal life last year, but they’re still included in silly polls like this?)
(If you must ask, yes, Meghan is still more popular than Prince Andrew!)

A “cute” newly-discovered species of spider has been named after the animated movie clownfish ‘Nemo’ (from “Finding Nemo”). Native only to the Australian continent, the “Maratus nemo” is the size of a long grain of rice — which is a shame considering it’s one of the most vibrantly colored spider species on Earth. In a paper published in Evolutionary Systematics last week, researcher Joseph Schubert described the newest member of the peacock spider group, writing: “It has a really vibrant orange face with white stripes on it, which kind of looks like a clownfish, so I thought Nemo would be a really suitable name for it.”
(I wonder how long ‘til he hears from Disney’s lawyers!)
(Named after Nemo? You’re going to have to tell me that again in 8 seconds!)

☞ A new study suggests that your career may benefit from your starting the day with a decent breakfast. The survey of 2,000 people — 1,000 breakfast eaters and 1,000 who don’t eat breakfast — found that those who have a morning meal are more likely to receive a promotion at work. 65% of breakfast eaters say they have moved up in a position over the course of their career. Only 38% respondents who didn’t eat breakfast could say the same. (We find around here that 99% of those who bring donuts get promoted…)
☞ A new study says that a shot of caffeine before an afternoon sweat session may help you maximize the benefits of working out. Researchers from the University of Granada say having caffeine 30 minutes before exercising in the afternoon increases the body’s ability to burn fat. They determined that about 3 mg/kg of caffeine (the amount in a strong coffee) is enough to significantly jumpstart fat-burning during aerobic exercise. (I call it “pre-drinking”!)

(Some require access to your friend…or “victim’s” account)
⇒ You have 437 notifications:  Surf to your victim’s Facebook profile, and “like” every thing they’ve ever posted. That’s it. Soon, they will find that they’ve been bombarded with hundreds of notifications. (Especially effective if they get updates to their phone, which beep each time you like something!)
⇒ Big news!  Post a status like: “OMG!!! Congratulations to my bestie [your friend’s name] on her engagement/pregnancy/new job/wacky new tattoo!!!” Make it believable and tag him/her. The victim will be swarmed with stunned, congratulatory messages and have to let all of their well-wishers down easy. Get a few other friends to post the same type of thing, to make “the news” more believable.
⇒ You’re everywhere!  Tag yourself in a whole bunch of your friend’s photos that you’re not in. Tag other people as you; tag their pet as you; you can even tag your friend as you. They’ll be spammed with notifications that you’re tagging yourself in their photos.
⇒ The unguarded profile:  If you work in an office, you may be able to access your co-worker’s computer while it is logged into their account. Change your friend’s name and profile picture to reference an inside joke.
⇒ Shalom, mayhem!  Go to “Language and Region,” under Settings, and change your friend’s display language to Hebrew or Mandarin or another language that uses a completely different alphabet. Or try “English (upside down)”. (Do they have “Klingon”?)
⇒ Don’t I know you?  Friend request EVERYONE in your friend’s “people you may know” page. This refreshes endlessly, so just keep on adding.
⇒ Merry un-birthday!”  Change your friend’s date of birth to April 1, confusing them with a tide of erroneous well-wishes. The real butt of this April Fools’ joke? All of your friend’s friends who have no idea when their actual birthday is.

 It turns out Popeye was right. Spinach really does make you stronger. A new study found that just one serving of leafy greens a day boosts muscle function, especially in the legs. Researchers from Edith Cowan University in Australia say the cartoon icon’s favorite food can even protect older people from frailty. Nitrate in green leafy vegetables is the secret behind their amazing power. Along with spinach, strength benefits can be gained from broccoli, lettuce, cabbage, kale, and others.


1943 [78] Christopher Walken, Queens NY, movie actor (Oscar-“The Deer Hunter”, “Pulp Fiction”)

1948 [73] Rhea Perlman, Brooklyn NY, TV actress (“Cheers” 1982-1993)/movie actress (“Matilda”)

1948 [73] Al Gore, Washington DC, politician (Vice President of the United States 1993-2001)/environmentalist (founder of The Climate Reality Project/author of “An Inconvenient Truth”)

1955 [66] Angus Young, Glasgow Scotland, short-panted rock guitarist (AC/DC-‘Highway To Hell’, ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2003)

1971 [50] Ewan McGregor, Crieff Scotland, movie actor (“Moulin Rouge!”, “Trainspotting”) COMING UP… “Birthday Cake”, 2021

1983 [38] 40 (Noah Shebib), Toronto ON, hip-hop producer (Drake, Lil Wayne, Beyoncé, Alicia Keys, Jamie Foxx)/co-founder of Drake’s October’s Very Own (OVO) label

1984 [37] Jack Antonoff, Bergenfield NJ, indie rock guitarist/singer/drummer (fun.-‘Some Nights’, Bleachers-‘I Wanna Get Better’)/producer (Taylor Swift, Lorde, St. Vincent, Lana Del Rey, Carly Rae Jepsen, The Chicks)

• “Farm Workers Day”, encouraging us to thank agricultural laborers for their role in growing what we eat. (Remember, today is for farm WORKERS, not their boss, the C-I-E-I-O!)

• “She’s Funny That Way Day”, paying tribute to the female funny bone. How do the women in your life make you laugh? (***Ask for quirky things that funny ladies do***)

• “Dance Marathon Day”, Dance marathons are events in which people dance or walk to music for an extended period of time. They started as dance contests in the 1920s and developed into entertainment events during the Great Depression in the 1930s.

• “National Crayon Day”, a day to celebrate the invention of crayons and the joy of coloring. It’s a perfect day to dust off your crayons and spend the day coloring. (Crayons are like M&Ms . . .They taste the same no matter what color they are!)

• “National Prom Day”, a day that was created to honor friendship, cherish memories, celebrate history, and enjoy the fun and excitement this milestone event brings (***Who has a prom disaster story?***)

• “Little Red Wagon Day”, celebrating little red toy wagons, specifically the ones made by Radio Flyer. Radio Flyer created National Little Red Wagon Day in 2016, to celebrate its 100th anniversary. Today, encourage kids to get outside, get active and go wherever their imaginations take them.

[Thurs] April Fools’ Day
[Thurs] International Fun at Work Day
[Fri] Good Friday
[Fri] Reconciliation Day

1981 [40] At the first ever Golden Raspberry Awards (aka The Razzies), Neil Diamond takes home the prize for ‘Worst Actor’ for his performance in “The Jazz Singer”.

1985 [36] At WrestleMania I, Madison Square Garden, NYC: Hulk Hogan & Mr. T beat Roddy Piper & Paul Orndorf

1967 [54] Onstage at the Astoria Theatre in London, Jimi Hendrix sets fire to his guitar for the first time. He goes to hospital after the show with minor burns

2016 [05] Michael Stipe (REM), Cyndi Lauper, Ann Wilson (Heart), and Perry Farrell (Jane’s Addiction) are among performers at NYC’s Carnegie Hall in a concert honoring David Bowie, who died the previous January

2019 [02] 33-year-old rapper and activist Nipsey Hussle [Ermias Asghedom] is fatally shot outside his clothing store in Los Angeles

2007 [14] 2.2 million people take part in the first “Earth Hour” in Sydney, Australia


✓ Scientists say Saturn’s rings will eventually disappear.
✓ Only about a third of the world’s population eats with a knife and fork.
✓ Dr. Seuss coined the word ‘nerd’ in his 1950 book “If I Ran the Zoo”.
✓ Each of the world’s 1,600 flea species prefers a different animal.
✓ A cockroach can change directions up to 25 times a second.
✓ In 1980, the Yellow Pages accidentally listed a Texas funeral home under ‘Frozen Foods’.

Best of BS . . .

• Like a good neighbor, stay over there!
• Today is the first day of the rest of your sentence.
• Subway – “Eat Flesh”
• I’ve fallen and I can’t get Wi-Fi.
• There a nap for that.
• Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s photoshop.
• Red Bull gives you wigs.
• Have a toke and a smile.
• Can you beer me now?
• The Stripper-picker-upper
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

➠ A statue of Ronald McDonald was stolen from a Michigan McDonald’s over the weekend, and police are asking for help finding it. (I’m sooooo McFlurrious! This time ‘The Hamburglar’ made a huge McSteak! Your help would be a kind jester…)
➠ A Southwest pilot on a ‘hot mic’ went on an expletive-laden rant against the San Francisco Bay Area.  (“You are now free to move about the unemployment line…”)
➠ Microsoft has updated its unified Office mobile app to work on Apple’s iPad devices. (So, don’t be alarmed when you start seeing people swearing at their iPads!)
➠ 3 in 10 adults say they are almost constantly on the internet, according to a survey. (The other 7 forgot their password…)
➠ Research suggests that having sex is very good for your health. (In other words, I could be dead by morning!)

• Where did the ‘Easter Lily’ plant originally come from?
a) Japan [CORRECT. The Easter Lily or Bermuda Lily is native to the Ryukyu Islands of Japan]
b) Mexico
c) Indonesia
d) Lillehammer

• Which country established the tradition of eating hot cross buns at Easter?
a) Scotland
b) Israel
c) Great Britain [CORRECT]
d) Crossta Rica

• What Colors are traditionally associated with Easter?
a) Red and black
b) Pink and brown
c) Purple and yellow [CORRECT]
d) Green eggs and ham
-Green Mountain Gardener, IceBreakerIdeas

This really could save my voice:

Golf is just the adult version of an Easter Egg Hunt.

If you had to spend this Summer, at the age you are now, working one of your early Summer jobs, which would you choose, and do you think you’d enjoy it?

Question:  Surprisingly, a study found that doing THIS can actually reduce stress and anxiety in your life. What is it?
Answer:  Going grocery shopping

There are always flowers for those who want to see them.


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