November 7, 2008

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Friday, November 7, 2008        Edition: #3896
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

52-year-old “Sex & the City” actress Kim Cattrall says a sequel to the hit movie will be shot NEXT SUMMER, provided the principals can all get together (what the heck else are they doing?) . . . On the other hand, former ABBA musician Benny Andersson says there’s been ‘no discussion’ about a follow-up to his hit musical film “Mamma Mia!” (you can only recycle “Dancing Queen” so many times) . . . 82-year-old Hugh Hefner’s former go-to girl, Holly Madison (54 years younger), says she’s excited about being single again because it’ll be refreshing to date someone who’s NOT high maintenance (no need to cut up his food, no performance pills to administer, no tubes to disconnect, no bags to empty …) . . . 31-year-old “My Name is Earl” actress Jaime Pressly has confirmed she & her DJ fiancé Eric Cubiche are ‘on a break’ after a 2-year engagement (bad news for 18-month-old son Dezi James) . . . Velvet Revolver guitarist Slash & former Pink Floyd drummer Nick Mason are mentors to budding rock stars at THIS WEEK’s 2nd annual “Rock & Roll Fantasy Camp” at the Abbey Road Studios in London UK (ends SUNDAY with a showcase at Liverpool’s Cavern Club) . . . Actor Charlie Sheen’s rep is vehement he did NOT storm out on his pregnant-with-twins wife Brooke Mueller to go partying with pals at Spearmint Rhino strip club in Vegas (naw, it was another joint down the street) . . . “American Idol” grump Simon Cowell, who recently split from 6-year girlfriend Terri Seymour, now says he’s ‘off women’ (women everywhere say thank-you) . . . And, just to prove she’s like the rest of us, 15-year-old Miley Cyrus claims her life hasn’t always been so glamorous; she once had a job with Sparkles Cleaning Service and had to clean toilets – at age 11 (geez Billy Ray, that’s child labor!).

• “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (FOX) – TONIGHT KISS rocker/reality show star Gene Simmons plays for his favorite charity while his family looks on.
• “CMT Crossroads“ (CMT) – TONIGHT Taylor Swift & Def Leppard mash up each other’s songs at the Acuff Theater in Nashville TN.
• “Dallas” – SATURDAY ‘JR’ (Larry Hagman), ‘Bobby’ (Patrick Duffy), ‘Sue Ellen’ (Linda Gray) and other members of the ‘Ewing’ clan are getting back together for a 30th anniversary of the prime-time soap that ran 1978-91. They’ll greet fans at the Southfork Ranch north of Dallas TX.
• “High School Musical 3: Senior Year” – TODAY, just 2 weeks after its release, a new sing-along version is being launched in 125 movie theaters in major North American cities. The 3rd installment in the teen franchise has already earned $158 million worldwide.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – TONIGHT R&B singer Robin Thicke performs.
• “Kung Fu Panda” – In a rare SUNDAY DVD release, the hit animated comedy about a slacker panda who becomes a kung fu hero hits stores in a variety of packages. Voice cast includes Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan, and Seth Rogen.
• “Miss Earth 2008” – SUNDAY the 8th global beauty pageant is held in Angeles City, Philippines where the 2007 titleholder, Jessica Nicole Trisko of Vancouver, crowns her successor.
• Music City Walk of Fame – SUNDAY Elvis Presley, Little Richard, Martina McBride, Randy Travis, and Trace Adkins are among those who’ll be honored with a star in Nashville’s Hall of Fame Park, across the street from the Country Music Hall of Fame & Museum.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Actor James Franco hosts; Kings of Leon perform.

• Amy Winehouse – Her 26-year-old husband Blake Fielder-Civil has been released from prison after serving 27 months for assault. He’s believed to have immediately checked into rehab as part of the conditions of release. Winehouse was not present when he was sprung.
• Bruce Springsteen – His next album is expected for release in JANUARY, according to the fan site It will likely contain the song “Workin’ On a Dream”, which he debuted at a Barack Obama rally.
• Feist – Plans are afoot to release a deluxe edition of her 2007 album, “The Reminder”, on DECEMBER 2nd. The 2-disc set will feature unreleased duets, remixes, and music videos.
• 50 Cent – His new MTV show “50 Cent: The Money & the Power”, features 14 contestants with business ideas vying for $100,000 in seed money. (Like CBC-TV’s “Dragons’ Den”.)
• Janet Jackson – Further endearing herself to frustrated fans, she’s now cancelling makeup dates for the “Rock Witchu” tour dates postponed due to illness. The excuse: ‘conflicts in her schedule’. (BS translation: I made enough to get through a couple more years so to hell with yas.)
• Marilyn Manson – 21-year-old actress Evan Rachel Wood (“Across the Universe”) has reportedly dumped 39-year-old live-in BF Marilyn Manson after he tried to boot her brother out of their guest house. Dude, if it’s her house … it’s her call.
• Taylor Swift – She says she got over her split from boy-band boyfriend Joe Jonas by writing about it, including the tune “Always & Forever”. JJ apparently dumper her in OCTOBER … on the phone.

• “House” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): While stuck at the ‘Wayside Inn’ in rural Alabama, 2 couples find themselves in a fight for survival, running from a maniac named ‘The Tin Man’ (Michael Madsen) who’s determined to kill them. It turns out the only ‘safe’ way to escape is to sacrifice one of the foursome. Filmed in Poland.
• “Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa” ( PG Family Animation ): Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer et al return as the voice cast in this sequel to the 2005 hit ($400 million-plus worldwide). This time the beasts are bound for Africa aboard a misdirected plane. There they encounter their own kind in the wild for the first time and discover what ‘home’ truly means to each of them. “Madagascar 3” is already slotted for 2011.
• “Repo! The Genetic Opera” ( R-Rated Rock Opera ): After a worldwide epidemic, a biotech company launches an organ-financing program that’s similar to a standard car loan. The bad news is that the repossession clause is a killer … literally. Stars Paul Sorvino, Anthony Head, Alexa Vega, and Paris Hilton as the surgery-addicted ‘Amber Sweet’. Cameos by rocker Joan Jett and members of Guns ‘N Roses, Korn and more. Shot in Toronto.
• “Role Models” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Paul Rudd (“Forgetting Sarah Marshall“) & Seann William Scott (“American Pie”) star as a pair of losers who, through a plea bargain in court, end up spending 150 hours mentoring kids through the Big Brother program. It’s not exactly a perfect fit. Co-stars Elizabeth Banks.
NET: http://
• “Soul Men” ( R-Rated Musical Comedy ): Samuel L Jackson & the late Bernie Mac play an estranged soul-singing duo who haven’t spoken in 20 years but agree to participate in a reunion performance at NYC’s famed Apollo Theater. Co-stars the late Isaac Hayes and Sharon Leal (“Dreamgirls”). “American Idol” judge Randy Jackson is the narrator.

Think it’s just a phase you’re going through at work? Maybe not. Experts say these signs show there’s a real problem …
• It embarrasses you to tell people what you do.
• You’ve been on the job more than a year and you still feel like a total fraud.
• You connect with no one.
• You are overwhelmed with rage or anxiety on a daily basis.
• The pay is lousy and you need the money.
– “Psychology Today”

It’s estimated about 5% of us suffer from ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’, a depression brought on by the lack of sunlight in Winter. Up to 15% are thought to suffer from milder versions of SAD symptoms, including low mood, low energy, and oversleeping. Columbia University researcher Michael Terman says there is a 3rd group with symptoms of what he calls ‘SANS’ – Seasonal Atypical Neurovegetative Syndrome. These people don’t suffer from depression but have cold-weather cravings for high-carb comfort foods. (Could this be why the average guy gains 5-to-7 lbs over the Winter?)
– “USA Today”

Hitachi’s micro-machines division has created the ‘World’s Smallest Diamond Ring’. It has a diameter of just 0.02 mm and houses a 5-billionth of a carat diamond which can only be seen with a microscope. A digital microscope photo of the ring won the gold award at THIS YEAR’s Asia-Pacific Conference on Electron Microscopy. (Perfect for a tightwad proposal!)
– ABC News

• Genuine emotion is always expressed with the entire body. When uncertain of a person’s sincerity, watch their shoulders. You should doubt anyone who is speaking with strong emotion and relaxed shoulders. (For instance, a used car salesman.)
• It takes about an hour for the human eye to become adjusted for good night vision. (Meaning you can get in 60 minutes of lovemaking before your partner sees your flabby thighs.)
• You blink every 2-to-10 seconds, so you have your eyes shut about 30 minutes every waking day. (More if you’re a civil servant.)
• A resting human gives off as much heat as a 150-watt light bulb. (A pissed-off wife … 400 watts.)
– “Freaky Facts About the Human Body”

1918 [90] (William Franklin) Billy Graham, Charlotte NC, evangelist who’s preached to more people in live audiences than anyone else in history (over 210 million in more than 185 countries & territories)

1943 [65] Joni Mitchell (Roberta Anderson), Fort McLeod AB, pop/folk singer/songwriter (“Big Yellow Taxi”, “Both Sides Now”)/Canadian Music Hall of Fame (1981)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1997)/Canadian Walk of Fame (2000)/Companion of the Order of Canada (2002)/Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award (2002)

1973 [35] Yunjin Kim, Seoul, South Korea, TV actress (‘Sun Kwon‘ on “Lost” since 2004)

TV journalist Morley Safer (“60 Minutes”) is 77; TV host Mary Hart (“Entertainment Tonight”) is 58; TV actress Alfre Woodard (“My Own Worst Enemy“) is 55; TV actress Courtney Thorne-Smith (“According to Jim”) is 41; TV/movie actress Gretchen Mol (“Life on Mars”) is 35; Actress Tara Reid (“American Pie”) is 33; Country singer Bucky Covington (“I’ll Walk”) is 31.

TV actor Robert David Hall (“CSI”) Is 60; TV actor Eric Dane (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 36; Famous person Nick Lachey (“Clash Of the Choirs”) is 35; Movie actress Nikki Blonsky (“Hairspray”) is 20.

• “Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day”. Hey, chocolate with whatever is a good excuse to celebrate.
• “Notary Public Day”, honoring the officers who administer oaths and statutory declarations, witness and authenticate documents, and perform certain other acts varying from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. Almost as exciting as “Accountant’s Day”!
• “PMS Stress Day”, originally founded in 1995. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. If not, get the hell out of the way!
• “Royal Winter Fair” through NOVEMBER 16th, the 86th annual indoor agricultural, horticultural, canine, and equestrian exhibition at Toronto’s Exhibition Place.
• “World Community Day”, celebrating the diversity of world cultures and religions. Not a good day to hold a debate on the topic … it’ll likely break out into a war.

• “Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day”, a day to offset the coming chills of Winter. What’s the most pungent thing you can cook? In other words, what stinks up the kitchen most?. Cabbage rolls? Fish? Lamb? Garlic? Onions?
• “International Tongue Twister Day”, a celebration of all those famously formidable phrases that are so strenuous to say. Think you’re an ace? Try some in other languages here …
• “Return It! Day”, a day to take back all the stuff you’ve borrowed from others. According to a survey, 65% of us have borrowed something from a neighbor. Top loaners for men: tools (37%); most borrowed by women: sugar (25%).
• “Parents as Teachers Day”. Check out any kid who’s constantly scoring ‘A’s and you’ll likely find that kid gets a lot of help at home.

• “Chaos Never Dies Day” … the reason there are 24-hour news channels.
• “Gingerbread House Day”. If you’re gonna have one for the holidays, now’s the time to start!
• “World Freedom Day”, commemorating the fall of Germany’s Berlin Wall in 1989.

1965 [43] The ‘Pillsbury Doughboy’ (aka Poppin’ Fresh) is unveiled, popping out of a can of Pillsbury refrigerated dough in a TV commercial for crescent rolls (within 3 years, 87% of the population recognizes his name & likeness)
NET: (giggle sound effect under ‘Pillsbury’)

1885 [123] Canadian Pacific Railway, Canada’s first transcontinental railroad, is completed as the ‘Last Spike’ is driven at Craigellachie BC (much if it is now replaced with hiking trails)

2000 [08] Hillary Rodham Clinton is elected to the United States Senate, becoming the 1st former First Lady to win a public office in the United States

1943 [65] Last time a ‘scoreless tie’ is recorded in the NFL (Detroit Lions-0, NY-Giants 0, Fans-Zzzzz)

1944 [64] Franklin Delano Roosevelt is elected to an unprecedented 4th term as US President (no longer possible due to term limits)

1975 [33] John Anderson of Los Angeles plays guitar non-stop for record 114 hours, 17 minutes (until his neighbors finally beat him senseless)

1982 [26] 1st pro QB to pass for 5,000 yds in a single football season (Warren Moon-Edmonton Eskimos)

[Mon] Orangutan Awareness Week
[Tues] Remembrance Day
[Tues] Veterans Day
[Tues] Young Readers Day
[Wed] 42nd CMA Awards (ABC)
[Wed] Prince of Wales’ 60th Birthday Celebration (London)
[Thurs] Guinness World Record Day 2008
This Week Is … World Kindness Week
This Month Is … Alzheimer’s Disease Month

• “But it SMELLS like food!”
• “The cat did it.”
• “Explain this ‘heat’ thing again.”
• “Could you quit putting the lid down on the big water bowl?”
• “Mind if I sit there?”
• “You gonna eat ALL of that?”
• “You’re going to cut off my WHAT??!!”

The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Pink – “So What”
4. Rihanna – “Disturbia”
3. TI f/Rihanna – Live Your Life”
2. Ne-Yo – “Closer”
1. TI – “Whatever You Like”
– Big Champagne online music measurement.

What do you lose the most often and where do you normally find things again?

I used to be indecisive … but now I’m not so sure.

Today’s Question: Canada has the highest rate in the Western world of THIS, thanks in great part to the province of Québec.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Cohabitation.

Today’s Question: 750,000 Americans now say their primary or secondary income comes from THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: eBay.

An expert is anyone from out of town.

Leave a comment