September 24 2021

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Friday, September 24, 2021 — Edition: #7072

Can You Believe This Sheet?


★ The projectors are rolling. The ruby slippers are on. Many an Oscar sits glistening. The shark has been hanging, and waiting, for nearly a year. Nine years after it was announced, 4 years after its first projected open date, and 5 months since its last planned launch date, the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures is ready to open to the public on Sept 30 in LA. The first thing most visitors will notice on entering the building is Bruce, a 1,208-pound (548-kilogram), 25-foot-long (7.6-meter), 46-year-old shark made from the “Jaws” mold. Bruce hangs above the bank of main escalators and was hoisted there last November in anticipation of what was a planned April opening.
★ Johnny Depp calls what happened to him amid his very public battle with Amber Heard is an “injustice.” Speaking to press, he slammed cancel culture and issued a warning that “no one is safe” in our current climate. Quote: “It’s so far out of hand now that I can promise you that no one is safe. Not one of you. No one out that door.” Depp and Heard both accused each other of domestic violence following their 2016 split. But a U.K. court essentially ruled in her favor when his libel lawsuit against The Sun was dismissed, with a judge declaring it’s “substantially true” that Depp abused Heard. He has maintained his innocence.
★ The countdown to Hallmark Channel’s 12th annual “Countdown to Christmas” slate has begun. On Wednesday, they revealed the first half of its holiday-TV movie schedule, which includes sequels to last year’s LGBTQ-inclusive “The Christmas House” and 2014’s “The Nine Lives of Christmas,” as well as films featuring on-screen reunions between “Back to the Future” stars, “Wonder Years” alums and “Fuller House” cast members. The Hallmark holiday season begins Friday, Oct. 22.
★ John Stamos’ son Billy got the surprise of a lifetime on Wednesday. John Stamos was on “The Drew Barrymore Show”, and he revealed that his son is obsessed with “E.T.”, which Barrymore starred in as a child. Inviting Billy into the room, Stamos said, “Look who I’m talking to — Gertie!” Stamos also joked that Billy learned to scream thanks to Barrymore’s character in the movie. His son’s reaction to meeting Barrymore? According to John: “This is the quietest he’s ever been since he was in his mommy’s tummy.”


• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jennifer Aniston, Dave “Lil Dicky” Burd, Bazzi (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Alessia Cara
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Michael Shannon, Hannah Einbinder, Jerome Flood II (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Vice President Kamala Harris
• “The Talk” (CBS): Phil Dunster
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Liza Koshy, Monica Mangin
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Guest host Arsenio Hall
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Big Boy, Whitney Cummings, Jonathan & Drew Scott, Andrea Pitter, Chris Martin
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Ben Platt, Josie Geller, Nate Burleson
• “Secret Celebrity Renovation” (CBS): Season 1 finale. “Survivor” legend Boston Rob Mariano returns to his hometown to renovate his parents’ house.
• “Dateline NBC” (NBC):  Season 30 premiere
• “Gold Rush” (DSC): Season 12 premiere

• “Deadly Debutante” (LIFETIME): A sinister young woman will do whatever it takes to be chosen Belle of the Ball at an annual debutante ball.
• “Taking the Reins” (HALLMARK): A writer returns to her family ranch where she discovers what ended her marriage and why she stopped riding horses.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Anya Taylor-Joy, with musical guest Lil Nas X

• “Celebrity Wheel of Fortune” (ABC): Season 2 premiere
• “Supermarket Sweep” (ABC): Season 2 premiere
• “The Rookie” (ABC): Season 4 premiere
• “The Tony Awards Present: Broadway’s Back!” (CBS): Leslie Odom Jr. hosts a celebration of Broadway’s return to live theater; performances from “Jagged Little Pill,” “Moulin Rouge! The Musical” and “Tina: The Tina Turner Musical.”
• “The Simpsons” (FOX): Season 33 premiere
• “The Great White North” (FOX): Season 2 premiere
• “Bob’s Burgers” (FOX): Season 12 premiere
• “Family Guy” (FOX): Season 20 premiere

• Rihanna – gave an update on her next music project when speaking at her latest Savage X Fenty lingerie show. Quote: “Whatever you know of Rihanna is not going to be what you hear. I’m really experimenting, and music is like fashion, you should be able to play.”
• Lil Nas X – says he will release a “banger bop” with Lizzo. He promised that a collaboration between them is “definitely going to happen”. The pair struck up a friendship after their success at the 2020 Grammys and even went out celebrating at a strip club together.
• Justin Bieber – has a new clothing collaboration with the Toronto Maple Leafs. The team’s Twitter feed released a video — as training camp opened – that showed players unwrapping boxes filled with apparel from his fashion company, Drew House. LINK:
• Britney Spears — A trailer teaser for the Netflix documentary “Britney Vs. Spears” has been released. In the 18-second clip, she is heard leaving a message for an attorney in 2009. The doc, which drops on Sept. 28, is said to center around her highly-unusual conservatorship. LINK:
• Duran Duran — Simon Le Bon says they were “at each other’s throats” while recording their new album during lockdown. He and his bandmates stopped talking at one point and had no choice but to close up the studio and go home. Fortunately, those feelings soon subsided when the world started to open up again. “Future Past” drops on Oct. 22.
• The Rolling Stones – have dedicated their new music video to drummer Charlie Watts, who died at 80 last month. The clip accompanies their recently unearthed rarity ‘Living in the Heart of Love’, which will appear on the upcoming 40th-anniversary reissue of “Tattoo You”, out October 22. LINK:
• Guns N’ Roses — Slash has shared a preview clip of their upcoming single, which is expected to drop today. The new song is said be titled ‘Hard Skool’, and was originally recorded during the making of the band’s 2008 album “Chinese Democracy”. LINK:
• RaeLynn – is not just in the midst of nurturing her newborn daughter. She has also just released her duet with Mitchell Tenpenny ‘Get That All The Time’. It’s the latest single from her “Baytown” album, out today. LINK:
• Keith Urban — Viewers of his wife Nicole Kidman’s Hulu series “Nine Perfect Strangers” may have noticed a familiar voice as part of music this week. Urban wrote and recorded the new song ‘Crimson Blue,” which was included in the series finale, which aired on Wed. LINK:
• Garth Brooks – He discussed his decision to halt his Stadium Tour but go forward with a dive bar tour, amid the coronavirus pandemic, explaining that it’s easier for small venues to implement vaccination policies. Quote: “The dive bars are vaccinated! That’s how you get to do it.”


• “Dear Evan Hansen” (PG-13, Musical/Drama): Adaptation of the Tony and Grammy Award-winning musical about a high school senior with Social Anxiety disorder and his journey of self-discovery and acceptance following the suicide of a classmate. (Ben Platt, Julianne Moore)
• “I’m Your Man” (R-Rated, Romance/Comedy): In order to obtain research funds for her studies, a scientist accepts an offer to participate in an extraordinary experiment: for 3 weeks, she is to live with a humanoid robot, created to make her happy. (Maren Eggert, Dan Stevens)
• “Apache Junction” (R-Rated, Action/Western): When big-city reporter Annabelle Angel arrives in Apache Junction, an Old West outpost of lawlessness and a haven for thieves and cold-blooded killers, she becomes a target. A notorious gunslinger comes to her aid, but now she must entrust her future to a man with a deadly past as Jericho heads toward a showdown. (Thomas Jane, Scout Taylor-Compton)

For kids interested in practicing their spycraft, Aston Martin is offering the perfect tool. It’s a battery-powered Aston Martin, small enough for children to drive, and complete with various James Bond-style gadgets one could use to evade capture. The “No Time to Die” special edition Aston Martin DB5 Junior is two-thirds the size of the car used in the movies. Unlike the car in the movie, though, this one has no roof, allowing larger children or even adults to sit in it. The company was already producing a diminutive Aston Martin DB5, but this Bond version includes some interesting added features, including toy machine guns come out of the front of the car as the headlights retract. Instead of the rotating license plate seen on the original Bond car, this edition has a digital license plate that does that. It also has a “smokescreen” device that pumps dark smoke through “exhaust pipes.” Only 125 of the pint-sized “Bondmobiles” will be made. Top speed: 50mph (80km/h). The price? About $123,000 each.
(Ah. So, it’s not for kids interested in practicing their spycraft. It’s for RICH kids interested in practicing their spycraft…)
(Well, THAT’s a big Dr. No!)
(I’d have to cash in my savings Bonds…)

➢ A woman is suing Kellogg because she claims they have been misleading consumers about the amount of strawberries in their Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts. Anita Harris claims Kellogg’s “engaged in negligent representation, fraud, and unjust enrichment by exaggerating the amount of strawberries in Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts in online promotions and on the product’s packaging.” Her suit claims, “it appears to…contain more non-strawberry fruit than strawberry ingredients.” Last year, a man also sued Kellogg’s because although their strawberry Pop-Tarts contain images of fresh strawberries, they also allegedly contain dried pears and apples. (If you’re buying Pop-Tarts for the nutritional value, you’ve got a world of disappointment ahead of you…)
➢ Drinking alcohol and building planes don’t really mix. That’s why Boeing is reportedly investigating why 2 small, empty tequila bottles were found on one of the planes set to serve as the next Air Force One. The plane is one of two 747s being modified at a Boeing facility in San Antonio, to securely carry the US president and staff. It is a high-profile project that is important for bolstering the company’s battered reputation. Boeing hasn’t confirmed the report, saying it is a “personnel matter”. The company signed a contract with the government to modify the planes in 2018 in a deal that will cost taxpayers $3.9 billion. Alcohol is banned at all Boeing factories. (Thanks goodness they have a worker who was willing to get rid of it!)
-BroBible, CNN

Researchers say that bar patrons view themselves as being more attractive at night than during the day — and beer goggles have nothing to do with it. A new study, cheekily titled “Beauty Is in the Eye of the Beer Holder but Rarely Because of the Beer,” published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, asked patrons in a Danish bar throughout several days about how much alcohol they consumed and their own attractiveness on a scale of 1-7. Night patrons regarded themselves as more attractive than day patrons — and their opinions had nothing to do with alcohol consumption. The researchers believe night-crawlers lean toward narcissism more than day drinkers do, and they also might be better looking and better dressed.


1946 [75] [Charles] “Mean Joe” Greene, Temple TX, retired NFL player (Pittsburgh Steelers 1969-81/2-time NFL Defensive Player of the Year/5 first-team All-Pro selections/10 Pro Bowl appearances/considered one of the greatest defensive linemen ever/classic Coke commercial: “Hey kid, catch!”)

1959 [62] Steve Whitmire, Atlanta GA, Muppet voice actor (after the death of Jim Henson in 1990, he became the voice of ‘Ernie’, ‘Kermit the Frog’, ‘Rizzo the Rat’, ‘Beaker’, ‘Bean Bunny’, and ‘Doozer’ until 2016)

1962 [59] Nia Vardalos, Winnipeg MB, movie actress/screenwriter (“My Big Fat Greek Wedding” franchise, “My Life in Ruins”)

1964 [57] Robert Irvine, Salisbury England, celeb chef (“Dinner: Impossible” 2007-10; Restaurant Impossible” 2011-16, 2019-present)

1969 [52] Shawn ‘Clown’ Crahan (“#6”), Des Moines IA, metal percussionist (Slipknot-‘Psychoscocial’, ‘Duality’)

1976 [45] Stephanie McMahon, Hartford CT, wrestling personality (WWE Chief Brand Officer)/married to wrestler “Triple H” since 2003

1979 [42] Ross Mathews, Mount Vernon WA, TV personality (“The Tonight Show”, “Chelsea Lately”, “RuPaul’s Drag Race”)

1994 [27] Hannah Brown, Tuscaloosa AL, reality star (season 28 winner on “Dancing with the Stars”, “The Bacherlorette” 2019, “The Bachelor” 2019)

SATURDAY- Barbara Walters (“The View”) is 92; Michael Douglas (“Basic Instinct”) is 77; Mark Hamill (“Star Wars”) is 70; Michael Madsen (“Reservoir Dogs”) is 63; Will Smith (“The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”) is 53; Heather Locklear (“Melrose Place”) is 60; Catherine Zeta-Jones (“Chicago”) is 52; T.I. (‘No Mediocre’ f/Iggy Azalea) is 41; Donald Glover-AKA Childish Gambino (‘This is America’) is 38

SUNDAY- Olivia Newton-John (“Grease”) is 73; Linda Hamilton (“Terminator”) is 65; Jim Caviezel (“The Passion of the Christ”) is 53; Tennis player Serena Williams is 40; Nev Schulman (“Catfish: The TV Show”) is 37

• “Cherries Jubilee Day”, celebrating the decadent dessert that’s always served flambé. Wanna make a home version easily? All you need is a can of cherry pie filling, some cognac (or brandy), vanilla ice cream, and . . . a match.
• “Punctuation” Day!”, the 18th annual, celebrating the traffic signs of written language. (Wow! Eh?) Why? It’s the difference between “Let’s eat, Grandma!” and “Let’s eat Grandma!”
• “The Festival of Latest Novelties”, famous novelty items include Big Mouth Billy Bass, Bobbleheads, Groucho glasses, and X-Ray Specs, some of which we’ve all owned at some point!
• “Kiss Day”, to remind us to give an extra peck to those we love and cherish (make sure they are aware you love & cherish them first!)
• “Bluebird of Happiness Day”, the mythology of the bluebird of happiness goes back thousands of years. The bluebird is widely accepted as a symbol of cheerfulness, good health, new births, prosperity, and hearth and home.
• “Hug a Vegetarian Day”, dedicated to hugging those who love animals the most! Adopting a meat-free diet saves the lives of more than 100 animals per year.

• “Comic Book Day”, honoring the books you ‘read’ by looking at pictures (and the inspiration behind 75% of the movies coming out these days…)
• “One-Hit Wonder Day”, honoring artists who made it big just once before fading into obscurity. (Or milking it for the next 30 years…) Which is your favorite?  LINK:
• “Psychotherapy Day”, when therapists, clients, and therapy advocates unite to promote the profession, fight stigma, educate the public, and draw attention to the needs of community mental health centers. NET:
• “World Pharmacists Day”, recognizing the role of the pharmacist in improving health in every corner of the world. Here’s to the drug pushers!
⇒ Her wall-mounted diploma is made from cut-up newspaper headlines.
⇒ Sign out front reads: “Wholesalers Welcome.”
⇒ Instructs you to: “Take 27 of the big red ones, twice a day … with a tequila slammer.”
⇒ Asks if you want your Viagra regular or extra crispy.
⇒ Instead of “Good morning, can I help you?” he greets you with “You’re not a cop, are you?”
⇒ Counts out pills by saying, “One for you, two for me …”
• “Cooking Day”, established to honor and commemorate the joys of home cooking. Often taken for granted or deemed a time-consuming chore.
• “Food Service Employees Day”, to appreciate the hard work that food service employees put in every day to take care those dining away from home. (Give them a break today and eat at home. After all, it’s also “Cooking Day”.)

• “Better Breakfast Day”, to create awareness that eating a healthy breakfast can get you and your family on track to making healthier choices throughout the day, and help curb overeating at other meals. (I’m such a big proponent of eating a good breakfast that I usually have two!)
• “National Pancake Day”, serve with syrup, jam, chocolate sauce or even Nutella. Slice fresh, seasonal fruit to serve on the side. Make Cinnamon Butter by whipping unsalted butter with cinnamon and serving over pancakes. (Not to be confused with “Pancake Tuesday” in February…)
• “Lumberjack Day”, honoring a tough job that’s become a popular sport . . . logging games.
• “World Contraception Day”, to raise awareness about contraception and safe sex. Odd contraceptives used throughout history have included: crocodile dung, animal intestines, blacksmith water, lemon diaphragms, and – ew . . . brewed tea with beaver testicles (also morning breath!)
• “Johnny Appleseed Day”, celebrated on the anniversary of his 1774 birth in Massachusetts. Born ‘John Chapman’, he introduced apples to many orchards in the wilderness of the American Midwest, then gave or sold trees to pioneers.

2005 [16] Ashton Kutcher (27) & Demi Moore (42) wed in a secret ceremony in Beverly Hills (they would divorce in 2013)

2007 [14] “The Big Bang Theory”, starring Jim Parsons, Johnny Galecki and Kaley Cuoco, premieres


1988 [33] Bobby McFerrin’s ‘Don’t Worry Be Happy’ becomes the first a cappella song to hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100

1991 [30] Nirvana’s breakthrough album “Nevermind” is released


1979 [42] CompuServe portal opens, the first ‘Online Service’ (later absorbed by AOL, which was acquired by Verizon, which sold it to Apollo…)


1984 [37] Guinness Record for “Longest Recorded Kiss” is set (17 days, 10½ hours) by Eddie Levin & Delphine Crha in Chicago IL


✓ The navel divides the body of a newborn baby into 2 equal parts.
✓ If you’re an average adult, you’ll eat 2,000 pounds (907kg) of food this year.
✓ As a rule of thumb, the darker green a vegetable is, the more vitamin C it contains.
✓ The movie “Grease” was released in Venezuela under the name “Vaselina”.
✓ On eBay, someone once listed “Nothing at all. Wanna buy it?” It sold for $22.04.
✓ No matter what you’ve been told, elephants are NOT afraid of mice.
-TheFactSite, BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS:

• I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
• Apparently taking a day off is not something you should do when you work for a calendar company.
• People say I’m condescending (that means I talk down to people).
• If spiders can sit on the web all day, So can I.
• You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
• I haven’t slept for three days, because that would be too long.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2017

• I already knew the drill.
• They asked me when I last flossed. I said, “You should know, you were there”.
• My tooth wasn’t fixed by my regular dentist, but by a guy who was “filling in”.
• They told me my smile was infectious. I apologized.
• I ate a bunch of Oreos ahead of time. I wanted to get my money’s worth.
• I ran into a drill sergeant.
• My dentist told me that I needed a crown, and I was like, “I KNOW, right!?”
• I asked him if he was the one out of 5 dentists who always disagrees with the other 4.
• They offered me some nitrous oxide, I said, “Don’t make me laugh”.
• I arrived sharply at tooth-hurty.

➠ The NFL and Baublebar have just released a line of football-themed jewelry. (Sorry Buffalo Bills fans, you’re still not getting a ring…)
➠ The class of 2021 SAT scores were down compared to the previous year, and are at a 40-year-low. (One grad student was quoted as saying: “Wow!  That’s almost eight decades!”)
➠ A naked Florida woman drove a golf cart through an armed police barricade. (It’s the only time someone has ever made bail with crisp one-dollar bills.)
➠ “Glamour” magazine claims that drinking lemon water can help curb holiday weight gain. (Especially if it’s ‘Lemony Fresh’ and in a bottle of Palmolive Dish Soap!)
➠ Kanye West & Irina Shayk have split after 3 months of dating. (I guess they figured out that two annoyings don’t make a not-annoying?)

Smile — it’s Friday (sound up):

When life closes a door . . . open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Settle it for good:  Should you tip for take-out?


Question:  It has been calculated that over 10 billion of THESE are sent each day. What are they?
Answer:  Emojis


Happiness is a place between too much and too little.


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