September 25 2020

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Friday, September 25, 2020 — Edition: #6816

The BS Press!

★ Tom Cruise has always been a little bit “out there”…so it should come as no surprise that now he is reportedly set to blast off to the International Space Station in October 2021, according to a tweet from the Space Shuttle Almanac account. The account tracks the calendar for crews flying to the ISS, and a new tweet shows Cruise is scheduled on a SpaceX flight along with director Doug Liman. They’re slotted in for the SpaceX Dragon crew flight as “Tourist 1”and “Tourist 2”. Liman has the designation “director” next to his name, pointing at the possibility that the duo will be filming once they get to space.
★ The HBO Max streaming service has revealed “The West Wing” plans a very special return on October 15. “A West Wing Special to Benefit When We All Vote” is intended to raise awareness and benefit the non-profit, nonpartisan organization co-chaired by former First Lady Michelle Obama, aimed at increasing voter participation. Instead of commercial breaks, figures including Former First Lady Michelle Obama, President Bill Clinton and Lin-Manuel Miranda will make appearances to offer commentary.
★ Disney has postponed almost all of its films scheduled for release in 2020 due to the coronavirus crisis, including one of the most anticipated movies of the year, “Black Widow”, which was most recently set for release Nov. 6. Other changes to the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s Phase Four slate of movies include “Eternals” which has had its release date moved from February 2021 to next November. As a result of the changes, this will be the first year without a Marvel Studios movie since 2009. Other Disney movies that have been pushed back include “Death on the Nile”, “The Empty Man” and “West Side Story”.
★ The Nashville Film Festival will celebrate the upcoming 20th anniversary of the release of “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” with an online reunion of cast members, plus performances from artists who appeared on the soundtrack, and others. George Clooney, John Turturro, Tim Blake Nelson and Chris Thomas King will be getting the old chain gang back together for the event, which is part of the festival’s virtual proceedings planned for Oct. 1-7.

• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Sting, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Gashi featuring Sting
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Michael Cohen, Sheryl Crow (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Jeff Daniels
• “The Talk” (CBS): Dr. Phil McGraw, Ayesha Curry
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Julianne Moore, Shaquille O’Neal, Monica Mangin
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Derek Hough, guest host Stephen “tWitch” Boss
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Queen Latifah, Sabrina Carpenter, Machine Gun Kelly
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Tom Green, Tabitha Brown
• “2020 Stanley Cup Final” (CBC, SN, ESPN): Game 4. Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Dallas Stars
• “A Wilderness of Error” (FX): Adaptation of Errol Morris’s book examining the case of Army surgeon Jeffrey MacDonald, who was convicted—possibly wrongly—for murdering his family. Three episodes air back-to-back-to-back tonight, with two more next week.

• “Falling for Look Lodge” (HALLMARK): Romance blossoms between a young woman and a workaholic hotel guest as she helps him plan his sister’s wedding.
• “2020 Stanley Cup Final” (CBC, SN, ESPN): Game 5. Dallas Stars vs. Tampa Bay Lightning
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Eddie Murphy, with musical guest Lizzo (R)

• “$ellebrity: The Go-To Girls – A Special Edition of 20/20” (ABC): A look at what it takes to make a superstar and how Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Kim Kardashian West became successful businesswomen and paved the way for a whole new era of celebrity.
• “The Simpsons” (FOX): Season 32 premiere
• “Bob’s Burgers” (FOX): Season 11 premiere
• “Family Guy” (FOX): Season 19 premiere


• Selena Gomez – says she made a conscious decision to try and change her “sad and hurt” image with her latest album “Rare”. After being a staple of celebrity gossip, due in part to her former relationship with Justin Bieber, she “wanted people to know that I experienced something real, and that part of me is over.”
• Zayn Malik – He and model Gigi Hadid are officially new parents. He announced on social media: “Our baby girl is here, healthy & beautiful…The love I feel for this tiny human is beyond my understanding”. Oh, and by the way, his new single ‘Better’ dropped at midnight.
• The Beatles — Sean Ono Lennon (John’s son) will interview Paul McCartney on his upcoming two-part BBC radio show, “John Lennon at 80”. The first episode will include interviews with Sean’s half-brother Julian Lennon and Elton John. The special will air Oct 3 & 4.
• Elton John – The North American leg of his farewell tour will resume in Jan. 2022. He’ll be resuming the “Farewell Yellow Brick Road Tour” in the UK in fall 2021, and his shows for New Zealand will be pushed to 2023. In a video, he said he is spending his downtime by keeping himself “fighting fit and healthier than ever. I’m raring to go.”
• Foo Fighters — have launched “special collection of items that honour each full-length studio album and then some” in celebration of their 25th anniversary. The merch was revealed in a video showcasing new artwork emblazoned on shirts, jackets and hats, with the promise of more to come.
• Evanescence – plans stream a virtual concert in October. Singer Amy Lee says it will feature the “whole band from all the world, actually — we have people all over the country, and one bandmember in Germany.” Details are yet to be announced.
• Sinead O’Connor — is training to be a ”death midwife”. She’s studying for a healthcare qualification that will allow her to be by the side of dying patients when they have no loved ones able to be with them in their final moments.
• Ashley McBryde, Dan + Shay, Kelsea Ballerini, Luke Combs, Sam Hunt and Thomas Rhett — lead the 2020 CMT Music Awards nominations. They all have three nominations each. The 2020 CMT Music Awards will air on October 21.
• Gabby Barrett – Her hit ‘I Hope’ is #1 on the Billboard Hot Country Songs chart for the 9th week. After topping the Billboard Country Airplay chart in April, the song reached the top of the Hot Country Songs chart in its 64th week, the longest trek to #1 in the chart’s 76-year history.

Two breweries that competed in a decade-long rivalry to create increasingly strong beers now say they have been working together to create the world’s strongest beer. The 57.8% alcohol-by-volume brew, named “Strength in Numbers”, was created by Scottish brewer BrewDog and German brewer Schorschbrau, and sold out in less than a day. The beer, released in the UK last week, is priced at about US $37.50 per bottle. There is actually another brewery that claims to make the world’s strongest beer at 67.5% alcohol, but some in the brewing community say that Scottish brewer Brewmeister’s “Snake Venom” isn’t technically beer because the company adds ethyl alcohol.
(57.8%? I hope that bottle comes with a cork!)
(37 bucks a bottle? And 57.8% alcohol? You’ll definitely be crying over spilled beer!)
(You know that guideline about how you’re OK to drive if you’ve had two beers or less? Yeah, forget that.)

➢ Workers investigating why an entire Welsh village lost broadband signal at the same time every day for 18 months say they finally found the problem: an elderly resident’s old TV. Internet engineers visited the village of Aberhosan (pop. 400) and discovered a large burst of electrical interference occurred like clockwork at 7a.m. each day. The team traced the interference to a home, and found that the outages coincided with the resident’s daily routine of switching on the TV each morning. The senior was “mortified” that his old TV was the cause of an entire village’s internet problems, and agreed not to use it again. (But he still plans to use the record player and wet bar that are attached to it…)
➢ An employee at a children’s toy shop says she accidentally added Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s very suggestive hit ‘WAP’ to the store’s playlist, only to incur the ire of all the moms in the aisles as she raced to have it shut off. The employee explained that she had grown sick of the two CDs her employers deemed “suitable” to play over the store’s loudspeakers, so she created a playlist with what she thought were similarly suitable songs, not realizing she accidentally included WAP. And to make matters worse, she was stuck in the front of the store when the song started playing — and had to have a colleague take her keys, unlock the back room, and shut off her phone. The colleague, of course, couldn’t find the correct key right away. (Shoppers were treated with penicillin and released…)

From the department of things that no one needs: Iconic comfort food Kraft Dinner introduced “Pumpkin Spice” flavored…KD (mac & cheese) in time for the first day of Fall this week. Manufacturer Kraft Heinz Canada says Pumpkin Spice KD is made with the usual cheese powder, plus the added fall flavours: hints of cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice and ginger. And yes, it IS a publicity stunt. Only 1,000 lucky Canadians will be able to get their hands on it, in a “Pumpkin Spice Boost Pack”, which includes KD, a fork, and a white coffee-style cup with their name written on it (spelled wrong of course). The waitlist can be joined at


1929 [91] Barbara Walters, Boston MA, retired TV personality (“The View” 1997-2014, “20/20″ 1978-2004)/first female network news anchor (“ABC Evening News” 1976-78)/TV Hall of Fame (1990)

1944 [76] Michael Douglas, New Brunswick NJ, movie actor (“Wall Street” movies, “Basic Instinct”)/TV actor (2013 Emmy for “Behind the Candelabra”)/Mr. Catherine Zeta-Jones since 2000

1951 [69] Mark Hamill, Oakland CA, movie actor (‘Luke Skywalker’ in “Star Wars” movies)

1958 [62] Michael Madsen, Chicago IL, movie actor (“Reservoir Dogs”, “Kill Bill”)

1968 [52] Will Smith, Philadelphia PA, TV and movie actor (“The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” 1990-96, “Hancock”, “Men in Black” films)/sometime rapper (‘Switch’, ‘Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It’)/Mr. Jada Pinkett since 1997

1961 [59] Heather Locklear, Los Angeles CA, TV actress (“Melrose Place”, “Hot in Cleveland”)

1969 [51] Catherine Zeta-Jones, Swansea Wales, movie actress (“Rock of Ages”, “Chicago”)/Mrs. Michael Douglas since 2000

1980 [40] T.I. (Clifford Harris Jr, AKA ‘Tip’), Atlanta GA, rapper-producer (‘No Mediocre’ f/Iggy Azalea, ‘Live Your Life’)/movie actor (“Fast & Furious”, “American Gangster”)/ex-con

1983 [37] Donald Glover (AKA Childish Gambino), Edwards Air Force Base CA, TV actor (“Community” 2009-2014), movie actor (“Spider-Man: Homecoming”)/rapper as ‘Childish Gambino’ (‘This is America’)/DJ as ‘mcDJ’

SATURDAY- Olivia Newton-John (“Grease”) is 72; Linda Hamilton (“Terminator”) is 64; Jim Caviezel, (“The Passion of the Christ”) is 52; Tennis player Serena Williams is 39; Nev Schulman (“Catfish: The TV Show”) is 36

SUNDAY- Meat Loaf (‘Paradise by the Dashboard Light’) is 73; Shaun Cassidy (“Hardy Boys”) is 62; Stephan Jenkins (Third Eye Blind) is 56; Gwyneth Paltrow (“Iron Man”) is 48; Anna Camp (‘Pitch Perfect’) is 38; Lil’ Wayne (‘How to Love’) is 38; Avril Lavigne (‘Complicated’) is 36

• “Comic Book Day”, honoring the books you ‘read’ by looking at pictures (and the inspiration behind 75% of the movies coming out these days…)

• “One-Hit Wonder Day”, honoring artists who made it big only once before fading into obscurity. (Or milking it for the next 30 years…) What is your favorite?  NET:

• “Psychotherapy Day”, the 9th annual, when therapists, clients, and therapy advocates unite to promote the profession, fight stigma, educate the public, and draw attention to the needs of community mental health centers. NET:

• “World Pharmacists Day”, recognizing the role of the pharmacist in improving health in every corner of the world. Here’s to the drug pushers!
⇒ Sign out front reads: “Wholesalers Welcome.”
⇒ Her wall-mounted diploma is made from cut-up newspaper headlines.
⇒ Instructs you to: “Take 27 of the big red ones, twice a day … with a tequila slammer.”
⇒ Asks if you want your Viagra regular or extra crispy.
⇒ Instead of “Good morning, can I help you?” he greets you with “You’re not a cop, are you?”
⇒ Counts out pills by saying, “One for you, two for me …”

• “Cooking Day”, established to honor and commemorate the joys of home cooking. Often taken for granted or deemed a time-consuming chore.

• “Food Service Employees Day”, to appreciate the hard work that food service employees put in every day to take care of people dining away from home. (Give them a break today and eat at home. After all, it’s also “Cooking Day”.)

• “Better Breakfast Day”, to create awareness that eating a healthy breakfast can get you and your family on track to making healthier choices throughout the day, and help curb overeating at other meals. (I’m such a big proponent of eating a good breakfast that I usually have two!)
• “National Pancake Day”, serve with a variety of syrups, jams, chocolate sauce or even Nutella. Slice fresh, seasonal fruit and serve on the side of your pancakes. Make Cinnamon Butter by whipping unsalted butter with cinnamon and serving over pancakes. (Not to be confused with “Pancake Tuesday” in February…)
• “Lumberjack Day”, honoring a tough job that’s become a popular sport … logging games.
• “World Contraception Day”, to raise awareness about contraception and safe sex. Odd contraceptives used throughout history have included: crocodile dung, animal intestines, blacksmith water, lemon diaphragms, and – ew…brewed tea with beaver testicles (and morning breath!)
• “Johnny Appleseed Day”, celebrated on the anniversary of his death. He was born John Chapman in Massachusetts in 1774. He introduced apples to many orchards in the wilderness of the American Midwest. He then gave or sold trees to pioneers.

• “Ancestor Appreciation Day”, a day to learn about and appreciate one’s forebears. (Hey, without them, you wouldn’t be here!)
• “Chocolate Milk Day”, something unheard of until the Van Houten company in Amsterdam, Holland invented a cocoa pressing method in 1828. In 2006, a study determined that chocolate milk is a better post-workout recovery drink than white milk, water, or most sports drinks.
• “Crush a Can Day”, a day to remind everyone to do their part in recycling. Here are some facts about cans:
⇒ If you laid all the aluminum cans recycled in 2010 end to end, they would circle the earth 169 times.
⇒ In America, 105,800 cans are recycled every minute.
⇒ Your television can run for 3 hours from the energy saved by recycling one can.
⇒ Aluminum cans are worth about a penny each.
⇒ The industry pays more than $1 billion annually for recycled cans.
• “World Tourism Day”, as declared by the UN’s World Tourism Organization. The 2020 Theme: “Tourism and Rural Development”

1964 [56] ‘Mary Poppins’, starring Julie Andrews as the magical nanny in an Oscar-winning role, opens in wide release in movie theaters

2018 [02] Comedian Bill Cosby is sentenced to 3-10 years in jail for sexual assaults in 2004, the first celebrity to be jailed in the #MeToo era

1980 [40] Led Zeppelin drummer John ‘Bonzo’ Bonham is found dead at age 32 from asphyxiation on his own vomit after drinking 40 shots of vodka on the eve of the band’s US tour. The band subsequently splits.

1974 [46] Scientists first report Freon gas from aerosol spray cans is destroying the ozone layer (it’s banned in 1978)

1965 [55] 60-year-old Satchel Paige becomes the oldest-ever Major League Baseball player (pitches 3 scoreless innings for Kansas City)


✓ There is no specific time zone at the South Pole.
✓ The average person walks 75,000 miles (120,000 KM) in a lifetime (five times round the world).
✓ Bacon was used to make explosives during World War II.
✓ Queen Elizabeth II has had over 30 corgis in her lifetime.
✓ Until 2015, it was illegal to dance in Japan after midnight.
✓ The word ‘oxymoron’ is an oxymoron. It comes from Ancient Greek where ‘oxy’ means ‘sharp’ and ‘moros’ means ‘stupid’.
-TheFactSite, MentalFloss

• They don’t come with in-laws.
• Often, they’re not as clingy.
• Your cat never says that you can’t play ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ with your friends.
• It’s perfectly acceptable to have multiple pets.
• They have no problem “washing the dishes”.
• They don’t leave the toilet seat up.
• They miss you whether you’ve been gone for 8 days or 8 minutes.
• Let’s face it, they’re cuter.
• They never complain when you haven’t showered. In fact, they like you even more that way.
• They are not people.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

➠ Amazon’s Alexa can make your political donations for you. (Before this, the only other way to have your money meaninglessly wasted by technology was by leaving Alexa and your Roomba alone together…)
➠ Verizon has announced the acquisition of TracFone in a deal worth up to $6.9 billion. (And in news that’s even more relevant in 2020, Dolly the Sheep stuffed toys are being sold on a thing called eBay. I just read about it on Ask Jeeves!)
➠ Forbes’ list of the “Top 20 Richest Americans” is out. Their combined net worth is almost one trillion dollars! (To put that into perspective . . . yeah, there’s no way I can put that into perspective…)
➠ There is now a sexy Tiger King Halloween costume on sale. (But what if you think the Tiger King is perfectly sexy as is? Only me?)
➠ Mark Hamill is 69 today. (He tried to cut his cake with a lightsaber until Obi-Wan Kenobi spoke up: “Use the Fork, Luke”)

Weekend goals:

What singer do you believe “can’t sing” but everyone else seems to love?

Better days are coming. They’re called Saturday and Sunday.

Question:  About 70 billion of THESE are deep fried every year. What are they?
Answer:  Bugs

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.


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