Wednesday, April 13, 2011        Edition: #4483
Here, Have Another Sheetload!

The Winklevoss twins, made famous in “The Social Network”, have lost their court battle with Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and must now accept the $65-million cash and stock settlement offered as payment for their role in establishing the social website (will there be a movie sequel?) . . . “Avatar” director James Cameron predicts 3-D will become a major component of TV programming within 5 years and to that end has established Cameron-Pace Group, a new venture aimed at adopting 3-D technology to episodic TV, sports, and advertising (what will it take for you to spend big bucks on a 3-D set?) . . . NBC-TV is super-sizing Steve Carell’s final episode of “The Office” April 28th, making it a 50-minute special (“Parks & Recreation” will benefit on the lead-in by getting an extra 10 minutes) . . . It’s now been confirmed 44-year-old Oscar-winning actor Benicio del Toro (“Traffic”) & Rod Stewart’s 31-year-old daughter Kimberly Stewart are expecting a child later this year, which they are said to be ‘looking forward to’ even though they’re not a couple (BS translation: Adoption agencies are being contacted) . . . David & Victoria Beckham already have one kid named after a city (Brooklyn), and now the singer-turned-designer wants to name her unborn baby girl ‘Santa’ – after Santa Monica, California (by contrast, their son ‘Romeo’ feels blessed) . . . Famous person Lindsay Lohan is denying a TMZ report claiming she recently hid in a closet as her weird pop Michael Lohan circled her home, peeking in windows in an attempt to get a glimpse of her (although who could blame her?) . . . Observers say “Gossip Girl” (CW) will shift focus away from Blake Lively and onto Leighton Meester for its final 5 episodes (an audience may actually tune in again) . . . “Twilight Saga” actress Kristen Stewart has received a motorcycle from the cast and crew to celebrate her 21st birthday (bet the ‘key grip’ was thrilled to kick in on that purchase!) . . . 21-year-old actor Daniel Radcliffe tells “Daily Mirror” that, after playing the schoolboy wizard for 10 years, he will never, ever be able to shake off his ‘Harry Potter’ tag (chin up sport, it’s also made you so stinking rich, you’ll never, ever have to work again!) . . . Actor Tom Cruise has reportedly hired Axl Rose’s voice coach in order to help him hit the high notes in the upcoming bigscreen version of the musical “Rock Of Ages” (we’re still crystal-balling embarrassment for this odd casting) . . . And 76-year-old Oscar-winning actress Shirley MacLaine (“Terms of Endearment”) has felt it necessary to tell us that she once had 3 men in a single day (ew, thanks for that icky mental picture!).

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – The 8 remaining contestants perform songs from movies.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – The Kills (“Blood Pressures”).
• East Coast Music Awards (Charlottetown PEI) – Today through Sunday the associated festival, conference, and showcases are staged at a number of downtown locations. The awards show itself goes Sunday night at the Charlottetown Civic Centre.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Robyn performs “Dancing on My Own”.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Swedish pop star Robyn again (“Body Talk Pt 1”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Motorhead (“The World Is Yours”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Alison Krauss & Union Station (“Paper Airplane”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Prince promotes his 21-date residency at the Los Angeles Forum, which kicks off tomorrow.
• “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated/CTV) – Oldies singers Joan Jett, Pat Benatar, Salt-N-Pepa, Stevie Nicks.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Brit singer Jessie J (“Who You Are”).

• Carrie Underwood – She tells she considers herself more housewife than celebrity. Quote: “I never go out to eat. I never do anything. I think that’s why I consider myself not a celebrity. I’m a normal person who sings on stage.” (… and has a boatload of money.)
• Celine Dion – She tells UK’s “Daily Star” that if Britney Spears and Kylie Minogue want to come to Vegas and do a residency like her, they should go for it, because ‘there is room for everyone … new singers and older ones’. (Ouch, now there’s a slam!)
• Chris Young – Today “The Man I Want to Be” singer embarks on the “Piece of Home Tour”, performing for service members stationed in Iraq and Kuwait through April 21st. It’s his 2nd visit to entertain US troops.
• Diddy-Dirty Money – Tonight they kick off their “Coming Home Tour” in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
• Evanescence – This week they’ve begun recording their 3rd album, which will feature the return of Troy McLawhorn (Seether), who previously toured with the band in 2007-08.
• Foo Fighters – Tonight the documentary “Foo Fighters: Back and Forth” screens in select Canadian theaters, followed by a performance of the band’s entire new album “Wasting Light” in 3-D. Cities and theaters listed here …
• Interpol – Tonight they begin a series of new North American tour dates in Reno, Nevada.
• Justin Bieber – This week he’s performing 2 shows in Israel and tonight he’s scheduled for a private meeting with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu in his office. (Now what would they talk about?)
• Nicki Minaj – She admits her outlandish beehive wigs are inspired by ‘Marge Simpson’. She tells “People” the blue-haired cartoon mama was ‘was cutting edge and before her time’.
• Sting – Tonight at the Riverkeeper Organization’s annual ‘Fisherman’s Ball’ in NYC, Sting, his wife Trudie Styler, and former US president Bill Clinton are being honored with the inaugural ‘Big Fish Awards’ for their contributions to environmental protection.
• U2 – Guitarist The Edge tells “Rolling Stone” the band is as big as they can get. Quote: “We’re actually at the absolute limit, when you consider the economics and the practicality of transportation.”

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 70% of men have NEVER had a prostate exam. (Does that make them virgins?)
• 60% of us say chocolate makes us smile. (It makes the other 40% drool.)
• 34% of parents say getting the kids to stop watching TV or playing videogames and go to bed is their biggest stressor. (C’mon people, that’s why there’s an ‘off’ button.)
• 33% of women admit they feel more confident when their armpits are ‘in good condition’. (As opposed to ‘thatched’.)
• 32% of us say it’s annoying when friends brag about their perfect lives on Facebook. (That means 68% enjoy it?)
• 27% of us NEVER use sunscreen. (Among them: Snooki.)

• ‘The USB Mail Box Friends Alert’ is a tiny USB gadget that resembles a typical rural mailbox which monitors all your email and social networking accounts and lights up red or green to notify you of new messages, Tweets, or updates. Additionally, you can set an accompanying audio alert. The little flag on the side of the mailbox also rises up. (Now there’s what you need .. an excuse to spend even more time on Facebook at work!)
• The Denny’s restaurant chain is now offering ‘Baconalia’ sundaes. Here’s how they’re made: They start with maple-flavored syrup and a scoop of rich, creamy vanilla ice cream, and add a generous sprinkle of diced hickory-smoked bacon. then they add another sweet layer of syrup and vanilla ice cream topped with even more bacon and another shot of syrup. (Now if they’d just drizzle the frying pan fat on top, they’d have something!)

If you’re a coffee addict, then take heart … it’s not your fault. New research at the National Cancer Institute shows that how much you crave caffeine largely depends on your genes. People with a so-called ‘high-consumption’ variation in either of 2 genes appear to drink more coffee, compared to those who carry a ‘low-consumption’ variant. Study co-author Dr Neil Caporaso says it may seem surprising but the truth is genetics plays a big role in a lot of behaviors, such as smoking and alcohol consumption. (Soon we’ll be able to shirk responsibility for all our bad habits: “Yeah, nose-picking runs in my family …”)

“Forbes” magazine’s annual ranking of the estimated current wealth of fictional characters …
5. ‘Jed Clampett’, accidental oil mogul in the vintage TV show “Beverly Hillbillies” ($9.5 billion).
4. ‘Richie Rich’, comic book character ($9.7 billion).
3. ‘Artemis Fowl II’, from fictional series “Artemis Fowl” by Irish author Eoin Colfer ($13.5 billion).
2. ‘Carlisle Cullen’, the adoptive father in the “Twilight Saga” ($36.2 billion).
1. ‘Scrooge McDuck’, the miserly Disney character whose fortune is in gold coins ($44.1 billion).

The women of the UK are the most hair-free in Europe, according to a recent poll. 80% of British women say they regularly shave legs and underarms. Austria, on the other hand, has Europe’s hairiest women, with only 38% shaving. (And 47% braiding.)
– PA News

The first study to look at the extent and effect of ‘cyberstalking’ on social networks, email, and mobile phones has found that stalkers are now more likely to be complete strangers or casual acquaintances than a former partner. The report’s lead author Dr Emma Short says the study has also found that a third of victims feel they’ve suffered psychological harm, and that men are much more likely to be harassed than might be thought. Bottom line, she says, is the crime isn’t taken as seriously as it should be. (Actually, it’s not yet a ‘crime’ anywhere, is it?)

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Hijabista’ – A Muslim woman who dresses fashionably but modestly, in accordance with her religious beliefs; or someone who designs fashionable clothing for Muslim women. (“Beirut used to be the Paris of the south, where hijabistas flaunted their style in shops and cafes.”)
• ‘Walkaway Safe’ – Describes a device, particularly a nuclear power plant, that will shut down or fail safely even if its operators must evacuate the scene. (“Don’t worry, prime minister-sama, our reactors at Fukushima are walkaway safe.”)
• ‘Wi-Fi Squatter’ – A person who lingers in a public location to use its wi-fi Internet connection; or someone who uses a connection without authorization. (“Thanks to all the wi-fi squatters in the neighborhood, my cable Internet bill topped a hundred bucks.”)

• The USA has now surpassed France as the country consuming the most wine in the world. The French still lead in per-capita consumption.
– “USA Today”
• Recycling a 3-foot-high stack of newspapers can save one whole tree.
• The average person only uses 20,000 words, with another 40,000 in reserve.
– BBC News
• Having lots and lots of stuff piled onto shelves or stacked in the middle of store aisles can coax a shopper to buy more.
– “New York Times”


1950 [61] Ron Perlman, NYC, movie actor (“Hellboy”, “Beauty & The Beast”)

1951 [60] Max Weinberg, South Orange NJ, rock drummer (Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band)/TV bandleader (“Late Night With Conan O’Brien” 1993-2009)

1972 [39] Aaron Lewis, Rutland VT, rock singer (Staind-“Believe”, “Right Here”)

1975 [36] Lou Bega, Monaco di Baviera, Germany, one-hit-wonder pop singer (“Mambo #5”)

• “Scrabble Day”, honoring one of the world’s most popular games on the anniversary of the 1899 birth date of its inventor, Alfred Butts, a jobless architect who came up with the idea during the Great Depression of the 1930s. A few facts …
– Among the proposed names for early versions of ‘Scrabble’ were ‘Lexiko’ and ‘Criss Cross Words’.
–  After ‘Scrabble’ was trademarked in 1948, the game was manufactured by friends and family, who painstakingly stamped letters on wooden tiles one at a time. The rate of production: 12 games an hour.
– The game was just a fad with Butts’ friends until a Macy’s executive saw it being played at a resort  in 1952 and the then-world’s largest department store soon began carrying it.

• “Thomas Jefferson Day”, honoring the principal author of the ‘Declaration of Independence’ and 3rd president of the USA on the anniversary of his 1743 birth date.

1808 [203] William Henry Lane invents the ‘Tap Dance’ (his great-great-granddaughter Candy Lane later invents the ‘Lap Dance’)

1980 [31] Broadway musical “Grease” closes after 3,883 performances

2000 [11] Metallica becomes the first major recording act to file a copyright infringement suit against online music-sharing service Napster, initiating a music industry backlash against free downloads (doesn’t change a thing as it’s estimated 95% of music downloads are still illegal … over 1 billion tracks per month)

1989 [22] Canadian Human Rights Commission rules that gay couples can constitute a ‘family’ (kids begin getting a talk about the ‘birds and the birds’)

1979 [32] Longest doubles ping-pong match ends after 101 hours

1997 [14] At age 21, Tiger Woods becomes the youngest player ever to win The Masters golf tournament and also sets a record by finishing at 18-under-par

[Thurs] International Plant Appreciation Day
[Thurs] Environmental Protection Day
[Thurs] International Moment of Laughter Day
[Thurs] Pan American Day
[Fri] US Income Tax Pay Day
[Fri] Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival begins (Indio CA)
[Fri] That Sucks Day
[Fri] “Rio”; “Scream 4” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Crime Victims Rights Week
This Month Is … Car Care Month


• Do hermits have peer pressure?
• Is age when your ‘wild oats’ turn to All Bran?
• Why is it that everything goes on sale … right after you buy it?
• Why is it the things most people want to know are usually none of their business?
• How come the OTHER line always moves faster?
• Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?

What’s your best cure for insomnia? (On his blog, one sufferer advocates replaying your day in your head, in every detail possible, from the moment you woke up. He claims he’s never made it to mid-morning in his ‘mind movies’.)

Which fruit whitens your teeth when you eat it?
a. Apples. [CORRECT. Also oranges, celery, and carrots increase saliva production, which minimizes stain-producing bacteria on teeth.]
b. Strawberries.
c. Green Grapes.
– “Vitality Magazine”

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Today’s Question: The average office worker does THIS 7 times a day.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Checks email.

Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle.

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