Monday, April 17, 2017         Edition: #5954

Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!

★Ellen DeGeneres and Bradley Cooper are campaigning to retain their retweet record as Twitter’s ‘Nugget Boy’ inches closer to surpassing them fter 16 year-old Carter Wilkerson asked Wendy’s on Twitter how many retweets he would need to get a year’s worth of free chicken nuggets. Their response of “18 Million,” should it come true, would set a new retweeting record, overtaking the famous ‘Ellen and Friends’ pic from the 2014 Oscars. Wilkerson’s tweet is now at over 2.8 million retweets, DeGeneres and Cooper’s Oscar selfie tweet stands at 3.3 million.  Not trying to keep a teenager from his chicken nuggets, DeGeneres asked that people  retweet both Wilkerson’s and her tweets.
★The first trailer for ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ dropped on Friday, showcasing a morose and withdrawn Luke Skywalker. The two-minute teaser, unveiled at the Star Wars Celebration fan event in Orlando, Florida, offered few clues to the film. But it notably includes Mark Hamill’s iconic hero gravely intoning, “It’s time for the Jedi to end.” (Um…hence the title?)
★Nine years after his death, the documentary ‘I Am Heath Ledger’ will premiere April 23 at the New York Tribeca Film Festival. Among the revelations in the movie: He turned down the Spider-Man role that eventually went to Tobey Maguire, and the reason his ‘Joker’ character licked his lips so much was to keep his scarred mouth prosthetic in place.  The Joker’s licking of his lips became a character trait in ‘The Dark Knight’.
-USA Today
★Ben Affleck is ready to move out of the guesthouse he’s been living in since splitting from Jennifer Garner.  The Batman actor, 44, began living in the spare home on the couple’s Pacific Palisades property in California around the time that they announced their separation two years ago. The friendly exes both filed for divorce last Thursday in a coordinated effort.

•“Jimmy Kimmel” (ABC/Global): Chris Pratt, Kurt Russell, Zoe Saldana
•“Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Anne Hathaway, Tony Hale, Ed Sheeran
•“Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jennifer Hudson, Chris Hayes, Christian Borle
•“Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Jack McBrayer, Chris Gethard, King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard
•“Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Sally Field, Katie Couric
•“The View” (ABC/CTV): Lori Greiner
•“The Talk” (CBS/Global): Oprah Winfrey
•“Live with Kelly” (ABC/CTV): Jennifer Hudson, Josh Lucas, guest co-host Priyanka Chopra
•“The Voice” (NBC/CTV) The playoff round opens with top artists performing and battling for a coveted spot in the Top 12.
•“Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV)  An elimination occurs after the fifth week of performances, which feature Disney-themed dances.  R

•Carrie Underwood – is showing her support for husband Mike Fisher’s NHL Nashville Predators from the mani/pedi chair at her local nail salon. On Instagram, Underwood showed off her bright blue manicure pedicure writing, “Got that #PredsPride baby, from my fingers to my toes!” (She even got the team’s gold accent color in there with a shimmery bronze party nail.)
• Brad Paisley, Tim McGraw, Randy Travis, Charlie Daniels and Big & Rich all have songs on the forthcoming fifth installment of the Country Faith music series, “Country Faith America,” to be released on May 19th.
•Dean Brody – his latest single, “Beautiful Freakshow”, features a rap vocal from Halifax native Shevy Price. Co-written by Price and Brody, the song takes a look at an exquisite, imperfect, relationship between two people from different walks of life, which is mirrored by the fusion of country and rap.
• Rihanna and U2 make guest appearances on Kendrick Lamar’s new album “Damn”, which was  released on Friday.
•Freddie Mercury – The biopic about the late Queen frontman has been a long time coming but the legendary band’s guitarist Brian May says that it will finally arrive in 2018.  The movie will star Rami Malek (Mr. Robot).
•Shania Twain -is stepping back into the spotlight as a mentor on TV talent show The Voice.  She tweeted on Thursday that she’ll appear on the show on April 24, to help coach young talent as they enter the final rounds of the contest.  Her first new album in 15 years is expected to be released this spring.
•Harry Styles – was almost cast in the upcoming Star Wars spinoff film.  According to Teen Vogue, Styles was close to playing the role of a young Han Solo in the, slated for release in May 2018. Due to scheduling conflicts, the singer couldn’t accept the part and the role went to Alden Ehrenreich.
•Ludacris – has been tapped to host MTV’s reboot of “Fear Factor”. The network has ordered 12-episodes, which will also be executive produced by Ludacris.  Instead of bees and snakes, Generation Z contestants will face their youthful fears, like couch surfing at 300 feet and waterlogging their personal electronic devices.
•David Bowie –  Fans will soon be able to witness the stage production of the late music legend’s  “Lazarus” in virtual reality. The stage show, which starred Michael C. Hall, concluded it’s run in London earlier this year.  The material will be screened April 30.

Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk welcomed their much-awaited first child together about 2 weeks ago.  Finally we have a name for the little girl:  Lea De Seine Shayk Cooper.  ‘Seine’ is a river running through Paris.  Not bad.  Here are some of the most bizarre baby names ever given their children by Celebs:

•Moroccan (Mariah Carey)
•Kal-El (Nicolas Cage)
•Jermajesty (Jermaine Jackson)
•Prince Michael and Prince Michael II (Michael Jackson)
•Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee)
•Moxie Crimefighter (Penn Jillette)
•Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone)
•Zuma Nesta Rock (Gwen Stefani)
•Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow)
•Buddy Bear (Jamie Oliver)
•Zowie (David Bowie)
•Blue Angel (The Edge)
•Mirabella Bunny (Bryan Adams)

(And let’s not forget serial weird baby-namer Frank Zappa, who had kids named Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet and Diva Thin Muffin),


Some of us like sugar in our coffee, some of us don’t – and some people even avoid adding milk.  Whatever your preference, you might be missing one thing: salt.  According to some coffee connoisseurs, if you usually add sugar to take the edge off a bitter cup of the beverage, you should actually add salt instead. According to a study from the journal Nature, sodium ions suppress the bitterness in coffee and actually enhance its flavor. But caution: use just a little bit of it, of course, unless you’re a fan of eating plain salt for breakfast.  Same thing goes for wine, according to vino experts.
(Great.  Another habit that’s bad for me.)
(Coffee connoisseur?  Their nose is so high in the air that they can’t swallow their drink!)
(I like my coffee to taste like mud.  After all, it was just ground this morning…)


A museum in Denmark  invited visitors to deface a Lamborghini as part of its show called “No Man Is An Island – The Satanic Verses.” It’s an apt name. Clearly nothing is sacred.  While it might be painful to look at, the website for the show says the works on display are supposed to evoke visitors to look at society differently. According to their publicity campaign:  “Everything you do, every action, leaves a mark on the society you live in.”  The display, entitled ‘Low Key’, encouraged visitors to scratch whatever came to mind into the black paint. The car quickly filled up with scratched-in names, slogans and probably Danish swear words. After 3 weeks, the desecration was stopped and the car left on display. Officials were more worried that too many scratches would leave the car paintless and therefore pointless.
(I don’t know art.  But I do know stupid…)
(This might be why ‘keyless’ cars were invented…)
(That’s not art, it’s a car that’s been attacked by a jilted lover.)

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise


1961 [56] Boomer (Norman) Esiason, West Islip NY, sports commentator (“The NFL Today on CBS” since 2002, “ABC Monday Night Football” 1998-99)/former NFL QB (Cincinnati Bengals)

1972 [45] Jennifer Garner, Houston TX, movie actress (“Dallas Buyers Club”)/former TV actress (“Alias” 2001-06)/recently filed for divorce from Ben Affleck

1974 [43] Victoria Beckham (Adams), Harlow UK, fashion maven (dVb)/former pop singer (Spice Girls-”Wannabe”)/wed to English soccer star David Beckham since 1999, recently trademarked her kids’ names.

1985 [32] Rooney Mara, Bedford NY, movie actress (“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”, “The Social Network”)

• “Easter Monday”,  Easter Monday is the day after Easter Sunday and is a holiday in some countries. Also known as ‘Bright Monday’ and ‘Renewal Monday’.
• “Bat Appreciation Day”, a day to generate positive awareness about bats ahead of possible negative interactions with people after their Winter-long hibernation.
• “Blah Blah Blah Day”, a day to do all the things that people have been nagging you to do. This might include quitting a habit, losing weight, working on home projects, blah blah blah …
• “Cheese Ball Day”, saluting the hors d’oeuvre made with cream cheese, seasonings, and chopped nuts. (Also apparently to celebrate the sense of humor of this radio show…)
• “Haiku Poetry Day”, a celebration of the genre of poetry whose origins date back a millennium in Japan; and of English-language haiku, which has now been written for more than a century. To create one of these short poems, stick to a syllable pattern of 5-7-5.
• “Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day”, a day to salute with a laugh the prying nature of those who continually insist on peeking-a-boo to find out what’s cooking in the neighborhood. (Or not…)
• “World Hemophilia Day”, a day of awareness of the genetic disorder that impairs the body’s ability to control bleeding through clotting or coagulation.

2014 [03] Nobel Prize-winning author Gabriel Garcia Marquez, whose novels include “100 Years of Solitude” and “Love In the Time of Cholera”, dies at his Mexico City home at age 87

2008 [09] Danny Federici, long-time musician with Bruce Springsteen’s E-Street Band, dies of melanoma at age 58 (Springsteen’s “Working on a Dream” album is dedicated to him)

1964 [53] Now collectible car, Ford Mustang, debuts at the World’s Fair in NYC (base price: $2,368)

1979 [38] ‘Smallest Crowd’ in Major League Baseball history as just 653 fans show up for an Oakland A’s baseball game (that’s not a crowd, it’s an intimate gathering)

[Tues] Autism Awareness Day
[Tues] Animal Crackers Day
[Tues] Newspaper Columnists’ Day
[Wed] Humorous Day
[Wed]Bicycle Day
[Wed] Hanging Out Day
This Week Is … Organize Your Files Week



We all know that “if something can go wrong, it will.”  Here are some more:

• If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

• Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

• Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

• The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

• The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

• Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

•The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.

• Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.

• The first myth of management is that it exists.


☎ What’s one classic movie or book you’ve lied about seeing or reading?


Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.


Question:  Every single day, 1 in 5 of us will forget THIS. What is it?
Answer: The day of the week.

Therapy is expensive, bubble wrap is cheap … you choose.

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