BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
✳ 30-year-old “Glee” actor Cory Monteith has checked into rehab to address substance addiction issues. His rep says he’s voluntarily sought professional help to face up to his demons. Monteith, who is dating “Glee” co-star Lea Michele, has been open about his booze & drug habit in the past, revealing in 2011 that he’d previously checked into rehab when he was just 19. (Going from an unknown to a superstar to a has-been in just 3 years has to be tough.)
– People.com
✳ Justin Bieber’s career will be ‘over in 3 years’ says top music manager Peter Mensch, whose clients include Red Hot Chili Peppers and Metallica. Mensch claims Bieber’s manager Scooter Braun is ‘scared s[heet]less’. In Justin’s latest antic, his pet capuchin monkey ‘Mally’ remains in lockdown in Munich after German officials confiscated and quarantined it when Biebs tried to smuggle it into the country. (It’s like Michael Jackson all over again.)
– Sun.co.uk
✳ Lindsay Lohan is reportedly demanding access to the pharmaceutical Adderall during her upcoming court-ordered rehab in return for not taking her lying-to-cops-case to trial. A source claims the hard partier regularly pops the prescription drug to stay up all night (as she has been in Brazil the past week) as well as to function on a day-to-day basis. It seems illogical she’d be allowed dope while in rehab, but girl convinced a doc to prescribe it while she was in jail in 2010, so she’ll probably get her fix! (Could somebody actually tell this trainwreck ‘no’ for once?)
– PerezHilton.com
✳ Could Kim Kardashian, whose dubious fashion choices have made her pregnancy curves look even larger than life, be teeing herself up for a deal with Weight Watchers? Observers are speculating the blossoming reality star, whose child via Kanye West is due in July, has been making a play for a megabucks-deal to lose the baby weight, along the lines of Weight Watchers’ currently pregnant spokeswoman Jessica Simpson. (Fashion commentator Amy Tara Koch on KK’s wardrobe: “It’s like she’s trying to stuff 5 lbs of baloney into a 1-lb bag.”)
– NYPost.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Von Grey (“Von Grey”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) – Demi Lovato and Huey Lewis & The News perform; one couple is eliminated.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – John Mayer (“Born & Raised”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Cold War Kids (“Dear Miss Lonelyhearts”, out today).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tift Merritt (“Traveling Alone”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – BJ Thomas (“Living Room Sessions”); “Deerhunter (“Monomania”, out May 7th).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Bacon Brothers (“Philadelphia Road”).
• “The New Normal” (NBC) – It’s the season (and likely series) finalé for this low-rated, deliberately-provocative sitcom about a gay couple who hire a single-mom to be their surrogate.
• “Splash” (ABC) – The celebs pair up for partner dives; a contestant from the bottom-scoring duo is eliminated. The show’s concept is so cheesy, yet lots of people are watching.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Blake Shelton (“Based On a True Story …”).
• “Toronto Blue Jays Home Opener” (Sportsnet East) – Geddy Lee (Rush) throws out the ceremonial first pitch of the Jays’ 37th season as the Cleveland Indians visit. Many are saying it’s a season of destiny for the Jays … at least on paper.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Auditions continue.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Band Perry – Today they release their sophomore album, “Pioneer”, featuring the hit country single “Better Dig Two”.
• Demi Lovato – She appeared on TV kids’ show “Barney & Friends” as a child.
• En Vogue – Cindy Herron & Terry Ellis have been granted sole use of the band’s name by a judge after suing former members Maxine Jones & Dawn Robinson. However, the judge has ruled they do not qualify for the $1 million they demanded … or any financial compensation.
• The Flaming Lips – Today’s the release date for their 13th studio album, “The Terror”, which main man Wayne Coyne describes as a ‘bleak, disturbing record’.
• Michael Bublé – He’s planning to put his singing career on hold so he can launch himself as a Hollywood actor. He tells Britain’s “Sunday Express” the only reason he hasn’t made a movie is time constraints, so he’d like to take some time off over the next couple of years.
• Michael Jackson – Today in LA, jury selection begins in the Jackson family’s $40-billion (yup, with a ‘b’) lawsuit against tour promoter AEG. The trial is scheduled to begin later this month.
• New Kids On the Block – Their new album “10” is out today. They’ll be hitting the road with fellow aging boy-bands Boyz II Men and 98 Degrees beginning May 31st in Uncasville CT.
• Stone Sour – Tonight in Portland ME they commence their month-long “Revolver Road To the Golden Gods” tour in support of their 2-part “House Of Gold & Bones” releases. The 2nd portion of the 2-part album is out a week from today.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Hemingway & Gellhorn” ( NR Biographical Drama ): Clive Owen & Nicole Kidman star in this HBO film about famed author Ernest Hemingway and his 3rd wife, trailblazing war correspondent Martha Gellhorn. Metallica’s Lars Ulrich has a small role.
• “Planet Ocean” ( NR Documentary ): Filmed by a team of international underwater cinematographers, the film aims to explain some of the planet’s greatest natural mysteries. Narrated by actor Josh Duhamel.
• Also released today: “Best of Warner Bros 20 Film DVD Collections: Romance” (Compilation); “The Bible: The Epic Miniseries” (Drama); “Jackie Robinson: My Story” (Documentary); “Kristen Schaal: Live At the Fillmore” (Standup Comedy); “Philip Roth: Unmasked” (Documentary); “Route 66: The Complete 4th Season” (Vintage TV); and “Vietnam: The Ten Thousand Day War” (Documentary).

CANINE CUBEMATES:
According to a recent Virginia Commonwealth University study, bringing your dog to the office not only zaps your stress but relieves your coworkers’ stress as well. Researchers have found that employee stress significantly rises on days that owners leave their pups at home and drops when they bring their dogs to work. Companies like Google, Amazon, and Clif Bar & Co have all adopted a ‘dog-friendly’ policy, openly welcoming pets in the office. (What about people who can’t stand the flea-infested, face-licking, leg-humping critters? Don’t they have rights?)
– “Economic Journal”

TRUE FACTS ABOUT EVERYDAY PRODUCTS:
✓ The ‘Super-Soaker was invented by a spacecraft systems engineer at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory.
✓ ‘Q-Tips’ were originally named ‘Baby Gays’.
✓ The first ‘Nike’ shoes were made using a waffle iron.
✓ ‘American Express’ was a shipping company for 100 years before getting into the credit card biz.
✓ ‘Autotune’ was originally a signal processor used to interpret seismic data when searching for crude oil.
✓ ‘Lysol’ was originally marketed as a feminine hygiene product.
✓ ‘Kotex’ pads were developed to treat soldiers’ wounds during WW1.
✓ ‘Listerine’ used to be a surgical antiseptic as well as … a floor cleaner.
✓ ‘Heroin’ was first marketed by Bayer in 1898 as a non-addictive cough syrup.
– Condensed from Cracked.com

JANITOR’S NIGHTMARE:
When the Philadelphia Phillies minor-league affiliate Lehigh Valley IronPigs open their baseball season this Thursday in Allentown PA, male fans will be able to try out a new men’s room feature … the ‘Urinal Gaming System’. It consists of a video display mounted above each urinal. When a fan approaches, the console senses his presence and switches into gaming mode. The guy aims left or right to control the play on the screen. (Adding new meaning to runs, hits, and – oops – errors.)
– Adapted from AP

PEOPLE WHO SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO USE THE GYM:
✗ The guy who’s always trying to work out in skinny jeans.
✗ The girl who talks on the phone the entire time.
✗ Anyone eating an ice cream cone while riding a stationary bike.
✗ Anyone, male or female, who works out in heels.
✗ People who take gym selfies on their phones.
✗ People who post workout pics on Facebook that are Photoshop-ed.
✗ Anyone who uses the elevator or escalator to get to the gym.
✗ People who smell really, REALLY bad.
– Sourced from Buzzfeed.com

THE WORD ON WOMEN:
If it seems men don’t talk as much as women, it may be because women have twice as many words. Studies show that women speak at 250 words-per-minute on average, while men speak at 125. So in the course of a day, a typical woman utters about 25,000 words compared to a typical man who uses just 12,000. Could it be the reason men sometimes don’t feel comfortable talking to women is because most women can out-talk them? (And how come men are all talked out at the end of the day men while women still have a day’s worth of conversation left?)
– “Making Love Last Forever”

DID YOU KNOW?
• We all spend the first 30 hours of our lives as a single cell.
• Babies born with teeth are rare … only 1-in-1,000 by the highest estimates.
• Some 6% of people have an extra nipple. They tend to occur on the left side of the body and are more common in men.
• A handful of people go through life with no fingerprints, thanks to a rare gene variant, a condition called ‘Immigration Delay Disease’.
– NewScientist.com

BS CHRONOMETER 04.02.13

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [68] Linda Hunt, Morristown NJ, TV actress (‘Hetty Lange’ on “NCIS: Los Angeles” since 2009)/movie actress (Oscar-“The Year of Living Dangerously”)

1947 [66] Emmylou Harris, Birmingham AL, folk-country singer with 12 Grammy Awards (“Blue Kentucky Girl”, “To Know Him Is To Love Him”)

1961 [52] Christopher Meloni, Washington DC, TV actor (“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” 1999-2011)/movie actor (“Harold & Kumar” films)  UP NEXT: “Man of Steel”, opening June 14th.

1977 [36] Michael Fassbender, Heidelberg, Germany, movie actor (“X-Men: First Class”, “Inglourious Basterds”)

1979 [34] Jesse Carmichael, Boulder CO, pop keyboardist (Maroon 5-“Moves Like Jagger”, “This Love”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Children’s Book Day”, celebrated on the birthday of one of the most famous children’s authors, Hans Christian Andersen, born in Denmark on this day in 1805. He penned 168 fairytales in all, including “The Emperor’s New Clothes” and “The Little Mermaid”.

• “International Fun at Work Day”, the 17th annual observance espousing the value of fun and laughter in the workplace.
NET: http://www.playfair.com/fun.htm

• “Peanut Butter & Jelly Day”, celebrating what may be the world’s most popular sandwich. But what else have you sandwiched with peanut butter? We like PB & tuna. Nummers!

• “Love Your Produce Manager Day”, a day to appreciate the person who orders and stocks fresh fruits and vegetables at groceries and supermarkets. So go ahead … squeeze his melons.

• “Reconciliation Day”, a day to write a letter or make a phone call in order to mend a broken relationship. (“Dear Boss: Sorry about that April Fool’s Day whoopee cushion …”)

• “World Autism Day”, a UN observance since 2007 to raise awareness that this disorder of neural development characterized by impaired social interaction and communication that’s estimated to affect 1-in-150 children worldwide.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1902 [111] The 1st ‘Motion Picture Theater’ opens in Los Angeles (The Electric Theatre charges a dime to see a 1-hour newsreel and the films “The Capture Of the Biddle Brothers” and “New York In a Blizzard”)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2006 [07] Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” becomes the 1st-ever single to top charts based solely on download sales

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1513 [500] Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de León first sights land near what is now St Augustine, Florida and claims it for Spain (ironically while seeking the ‘Fountain of Youth’)

1978 [35] ‘Velcro’ is introduced (inspired by the little hooks on burrs that attach to clothing)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1980 [33] Toshiaki Shirai & Yukiki Nagata of Tokyo, Japan set the world record for ‘Underwater Kissing’ (2 minutes, 18 seconds)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Find a Rainbow Day
[Wed] Whole Grain Sampling Day
[Wed] Day of Hope
[Wed] Walking Day
[Wed] Paraprofessional Appreciation Day
[Thurs] ‘Facebook Phone’ announcement? (Menlo Park CA)
[Thurs] Fleetwood Mac world tour begins (Columbus OH)
This Week Is … Explore Your Career Options Week
This Month Is … International Guitar Month

BULL’S BITS

UPDATED YEARBOOK CAPTIONS FOR 2013:
• ‘Most Likely to Open an Etsy Homemade Scarf Shop’
• ‘Most Post-Gender’
• ‘Most Likely to Hold More Than One Impractical Masters Degree’
• ‘Future Wes Anderson/Lena Dunham’
• ‘Best Twitter Feed’
• ‘Most Likely to Start Taking Improv Classes at Age 35’
• ‘Most Ironic Facebook Presence’
• ‘Most Likely to Buy a House on the Same Block as Her Parents and Teach Part-Time at Her Old Elementary School While Her Husband Works in Finance and Everyone’s Like, “What ‘Happened to Your Dream of Being an Architect, Amy?”’
• ‘Most Likely to Own and Operate a Food Truck’
• ‘Future TED Talker’
– Thanks to Rachel Klein

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What odd G-rated swear words have you or someone you know used instead of actually cussing? (“Gosh darn it!”; “Land sakes!”; “Like ducks!”; “Good night, nurse!”; “Well I’ll be jiggered!”; “Mother of fruit on a stick!”)

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
You’ve bought a bottle of wine from the ‘Outer Coastal Plain’ winemaking region. Where is it?
a. Central Italy.
b. Western Portugal.
c. New Jersey. [CORRECT]
– NPR.org

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The way to make a small fortune in the commodities market is to start with a large fortune.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: About a third of women have no problem doing THIS on-the-job but say there’s no way they’d do it during off-hours.
Answer: Using the men’s restroom.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The only real errors are human errors.