April 25, 2013

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Thursday, April 25, 2013        Edition: #4971

Guaranteed 100% ‘Grade A’ Bull!

✳ Former Talking Heads frontman David Byrne may have himself a hit stage musical. His latest venture, “Here Lies Love”, a collaborative effort with Norman Cook (aka Fatboy Slim), is getting rave reviews in NYC. Their off-beat musical tells the life story of former Philippines first couple Ferdinand & Imelda Marcos and does so via the medium of dance music, demanding high levels of audience participation. The theater ushers, clad in neon pink jumpsuits, ‘herd’ the audience into place for each scene and attendees are expected to keep dancing throughout.
– NYTimes.com
✳ Troubled reality TV star Jenelle Evans of “Teen Mom 2” has been arrested for assault and possession of heroin. Brunswick County police in North Carolina were called to her home this week following a report suggesting she and estranged husband Courtland Rogers were fighting. Cops took Evans into custody after finding heroin and Percocet on-site. She entered a rehab facility in March but left the 30-day-program earlier than recommended. Clearly.
– TMZ.com
✳ The 10-part TV mini-series “The Bible” broke History Channel ratings records when it aired earlier this year, and now executive producer Mark Burnett has revealed he’s planning a 3-hour movie version based on the story of Christ, which was a large part of the TV project. Burnett says he’s cutting a feature film version right now and has already had many offers to screen it.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
✳ DIY Network’s new unscripted series “Vanilla Ice Goes Amish” is currently in production and set to debut later this year. Former rapper Vanilla Ice, whose real name is Rob Van Winkle, has starred in the DIY home improvement series “The Vanilla Ice Project” for 3 seasons. His new show will see him living among and learning from the Amish – ‘the best craftsmen in the business’ – with no frills, no music, and no power tools. It’s bound to be a barn-raiser!
– TheWrap.com
✳ And it seems the person most “Ready For Love” on the new TV game show of that name may be executive producer Eva Longoria (ex-“Desperate Housewives”). She’s reportedly living with one of the show’s contestants, architectural engineer Ernesto Arguello. The twosome have been spotted out on the town together several times in the past week. The official line is several cast members from the show have been living at Eva’s because they don’t have anywhere to stay in LA. But that fails to make much sense since … the show’s already been cancelled.
– E! News

• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – The top 4 finalists face elimination from voters.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Justin Timberlake (“The 20/20 Experience”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Olly Murs (“Right Place Right Time”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Superhumanoids (“Parasite Paradise”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – The National (“Trouble Will Find Me”, out May 21st).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Snoop Lion (“Reincarnated”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Michael Bublé (“To Be Loved”).
• “Project Runway” (Lifetime) – In the 11th season finalé, the designers show their collections in a runway show at NYC’s Lincoln Center.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Billy Ray Cyrus (“Hillbilly Heart”).
• TriBeca Film Festival (NYC) – Today the recipient of the first ‘Nora’ award is announced. Named for late movie icon Nora Ephron, the $25,000-prize goes to a female writer or director who ‘embodies the spirit & vision’ of the “Sleepless In Seattle” filmmaker, who died of cancer last June.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Guest co-host Gretchen Wilson (“Under the Covers”, out May 28th).

• Alice In Chains – Tonight they kick off their 2013 tour in Miami Beach FL, with dates running up to May 25th in Pryor OK. AIC will also play the Download Festival in the UK in June, and Rock In Rio in Brazil this September.
• Justin Bieber – He’s yet to acknowledge that his confiscated capuchin monkey ‘Mally’ is still being held at Munich airport, but his team have apparently taken steps to find it a home in a German zoo. The thinking is the critter might be better off if it were taken in by a local facility.
• Michael Jackson – After a painstaking jury selection, his 82-year-old mom’s wrongful death trial vs AEG will finally get underway on Monday. Katherine Jackson is suing the promoters of his never-realized 2009 concert dates, claiming they are partly responsible for his death.
• Paramore – Tonight in Houston TX they hit the road in support of their new self-titled album, which is topping album charts in numerous countries.
• Shakira – She tells “People” the most stressful thing about becoming a new mother has been getting rid of the baby weight. The 36-year-old says she had to do it quickly in order to back to her duties as a judge on “The Voice” (NBC).

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Avatar 2” – The follow-up film to James Cameron’s 2009 epic fantasy adventure is going to be partly set in the deep oceans of planet ‘Pandora’ in a bid to make the film even more visually arresting than the original. Cameron is expected to release the sequel in 2015 and recently said he was busy drafting scripts for both the 2nd installment and a 3rd.
• “Interstellar” – Oscar-winning actress Anne Hathaway is nearing a deal to reunite with “Dark Knight Rises” director Christopher Nolan in his upcoming sci-fi epic, starring alongside Matthew McConaughey. The film’s plot is being shrouded in secrecy but is thought to be based on physicist Kip S Thorne’s theory that wormholes really exist and can be used for space travel.
• “Jane Got a Gun” – “Silver Linings Playbook” actor Bradley Cooper has stepped in to replace the departed Jude Law as the villain in this upcoming Western. Natalie Portman stars as a woman forced to defend her farm after her outlaw husband is seriously injured in a shoot-out. The film is now in production in New Mexico.
• “Step Up 5” – Director Adam Shankman is struggling to reunite the original stars of this franchise for another sequel but lead actor Channing Tatum is just too busy. He starred in the 2006 original with his now-wife Jenna Dewan-Tatum, but was absent from the 3 subsequent sequels. Even so, Shankman promises the next film is going to be a sort of ‘all-star’ edition.
• “21 Jump Street 2” – Channing Tatum & Jonah Hill are onboard to reunite for a follow-up to their hit cop comedy based on the 1980s Johnny Depp TV series. The original 2012 film surpassed $200 million in worldwide box office. A release date for the sequel has tentatively been set for 2014.

✗ MYTH: You don’t need sex as you get older. You may be done baby-making but that doesn’t mean you need it any less than other things that bring joy, satisfaction and better overall health.
✗ MYTH: Those extra pounds make you undesirable. Enjoying sex isn’t about how you look, but how you feel. You can have inner confidence at any weight.
✗ MYTH: You’re too tired for sex. Not necessarily true if you have a healthy lifestyle. Even so, you don’t have wait until the end of the day when you’re exhausted to have sex.
✗ MYTH: You don’t have to worry about birth control. Tell that to the legion of late-life moms toting their ‘oops’ babies! A doctor can do a blood test to check when you can skip protection.
✗ MYTH: It’s normal for sex drive to drop as you age. Actually, it may be the opposite. For instance, it’s actually more likely for younger women to experience dips in libido.
✗ MYTH: Things that once turned you on no longer work because of your age. You might simply be bored or in a rut. Get a video, buy a book, shake things up!
– Adapted from “Woman’s Day”

Recent research finds the wealthy lack empathy and tend to be mean. A study of the relationship between economic status and psychological characteristics has found that rich people also have a tendency to cheat and even to be jerks while driving. However, a related report finds that rich people can be nice … as long as their money is old. Seems people who’ve just made a fortune want to flex their muscles and are therefore often rude, but old money people are more respectful. (The reason to marry a Rockefeller not a Zuckerberg.)
– Forbes.com

CareerCast.com has released its annual list of the best and worst careers and it’s got some shockers. The majority of the best careers involve math & science: Actuary, Biomedical Engineer, and Software Engineer take Gold, Silver, and Bronze respectively. And holding down the fort at the bottom of the list are jobs typically thought of as more glamorous, such as Actor, Fashion Designer, Photographer, and – oh oh! – DJ. (We’re number last! We’re number last!)
– WSJ.com

Your boyfriend breaks up with you, leaving you with a broken heart and a lot of his stuff. What should you do with his things? According to a recent study from the University of Arizona, the sooner you let go of his stuff, the sooner you’ll let go of him. That’s because the less contact you have with your ex, the faster you’ll heal. The same study finds that as time passes after a breakup, you’ll feel more angry and less sad. (That’s when you throw his things off the balcony.)
– “Psychology Today”

Losing sleep? Check the pollen count: 44% of people with allergies report waking up fatigued, despite getting a normal night’s sleep. That’s because a congested nose means less oxygen for your body, leading to restless sleep. Experts recommend 3 simple changes to help you out …
✓ Sleep Nude – Pollen is the #1 seasonal allergy threat and it clings to your clothes, so strip down for bed and throw your duds in the laundry room.
✓ Ditch Old Books – If mold has you sneezing and sniffling, old books could be to blame. Keep them out of your bedroom and instead use an E-reader or iPad.
✓ Freeze Your Pillow – It’s loaded with dust mites, a common allergen. A 12-hour dip in the freezer every week or two kills them, and doing so regularly keeps them from coming back.
– Sourced from MensHealth.com

Exhaled breath can act as a biometric marker, a sort of ‘fingerprint’ for individuals. (Yeah, some people have bad breath that you can never forget.)
– BBC.co.uk


1940 [73] Al Pacino, NYC, 5’-6” movie actor (1992 Oscar-“Scent Of a Woman”, “The Godfather Part II”)/TV actor (“You Don’t Know Jack”, “Angels in America”)

1964 [49] Hank Azaria, Queens NY, TV voice actor (‘Moe Szyslak’/’Chief Wiggum’/’Apu’/’Comic Book Guy’/’Cletus’/’Professor Frink’ and others on “The Simpsons” since 1989)

1969 [44] Joe Buck, St Petersburg FL, sportscaster (FOX-TV’s lead play-by-play guy)/son of late Hall of Fame sportscaster Jack Buck

1969 [44] Renée Zellweger, Katy TX, movie actress (“Bridget Jones” films, 2003 Oscar-“Cold Mountain”)/briefly Mrs Kenny Chesney (2005)

1970 [43] Jason Lee, Orange CA, TV actor (“Memphis Beat” 2010-11, “My Name Is Earl” 2005-09)/movie actor (“Alvin & The Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked”, “Almost Famous”)

• “Anzac Day”, a public holiday in Australia & New Zealand commemorating the 1915 landing at Gallipoli, Turkey by the Australian & New Zealand Army Corps during World War I. The holiday salutes their incredible bravery in the face of overwhelming odds. Figure out an appropriate toast using this OZ slang dictionary …
NET: http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html

• “Hug a Plumber Day”. Better yet, let’s all do the plumber’s salute … drop your pants 2 inches!

• “International Red Hat Day”, an annual celebration of the ‘Red Hat Society’, begun in 1997 as a social organization for women over 50 and to reshape the way they’re viewed. There are now millions of mature women who attend various ‘RHS’ events worldwide, all of them wearing the trademark red hats and purple dresses first mentioned in the Jenny Joseph poem, “Warning”.
NET: http://www.redhatsociety.com

• “Malaria Awareness Day”, the 6th annual observance with the ultimate goal of eradicating malaria on the African continent. Step 1 is providing mosquito nets for prevention.
NET: http://www.worldmalariaday.org/home_en.cfm

• “Pink Moon”, the Full Moon of April, so-named due to the herb Moss Pink, or Wild Ground Phlox, one of the earliest widespread flowers of Spring. Other names have included the ‘Sprouting Grass Moon’, the ‘Egg Moon’, and the ‘Fish Moon’.

• “Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day”, observed annually on the 4th Thursday of April in the USA, when parents are encouraged to bring 8-to-18 year-old offspring to the workplace to gain firsthand experience of life in the work world.
NET: http://www.daughtersandsonstowork.org

• “World Penguin Day”, an annual excuse to salute one of the few natives of Antarctica by wearing penguin colors … black & white. BS FACTOID: Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet. (Yeah right, only if the pole doesn’t slip through their flippers.)

2003 [10] The parents of late Doors frontman Jim Morrison sue the remaining members for touring with a new singer as “The Doors 21st Century”, using the band’s image and logo

2003 [10] The ‘Human Genome Project’, an international scientific research project with the goal of mapping human DNA, is completed 2½ years earlier than expected

1997 [16] Elvis Presley officially tops a new list of most successful dead musicians, with sales of over 1 billion recordings


[Fri] “The Big Wedding”; “Pain & Gain” open in movie theaters
[Fri] 2013 Stagecoach Music Festival begins (Indio CA)
[Fri] New Orleans Jazz Festival begins (New Orleans LA)
[Fri] Welcome to Rockville Festival begins (Jacksonville FL)
[Fri] Hairball Awareness Day
This Week Is … Playground Safety Week
This Month Is … Month Of the Military Child


• “Limo Drivers Get First Dance!”
• “Unemployment Office Lineup”
• “Video of You Puking Will Be Online by Midnight!”
• “Tomorrow We Work at Taco Bell!”
• “Wow, 9 Months From Tonight We’ll Be Parents!”
• “Your Gym, But With Streamers and Balloons and Crap!”
• “Enchantment Under the Shop Teacher’s Toupee”
• “A Night In Rome … I mean, The Gymnasium”

☎ What’s the worst car you’ve ever owned?

Which is the only bird that can fly backwards?
a. The hummingbird. [CORRECT]
b. The seagull.
c. The whirlybird.
– Yahoo! Trivia

The biggest problem with being an atheist is you have no one to talk to during orgasms.

Question: The average guy carries 9 of THESE, but 3 of them are useless.
Answer: Keys.

Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more, hate less, love more, and all good things will be yours.

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