Can You Believe This Sheet?
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ The Duke & Duchess of Cambridge (Wills & Kate) will announce the birth of royal baby #2 (RB2) via Twitter, much like any new parents. However, after the tweet the couple will stick with tradition and post the news on an easel in front of Buckingham Palace, as was done with big brother Prince George and dad Prince William. As for when it’s going to happen, tomorrow, April 29th (the couple’s 4th wedding anniversary) is now favorite among bettors, at odds of 4/1.
– “The Times”
★ Kim Kardashian’s sister Khloe is sharing the secrets of her success by writing a lifestyle and advice book for fans. The reality TV star, who has previously released publications with her siblings, is now branching out on her own with a solo writing project. A statement from Regan Arts publishing house reads:”In a culture that worships skinny, Khloe writes with passion about the power of strength.” The currently untitled project is set for release in the Fall.
★ Movie actor Jake Gyllenhaal is set to tackle musical theater in a new production of “Little Shop of Horrors”. The “Brokeback Mountain” star has signed on to play loner ‘Seymour Krelborn’ in the NYC Center’s “Encores! Off-Center” show this Summer. The musical will also feature Ellen Greene, who originated the role of ‘Audrey’ (the plant) in the stage production and played the part in the 1986 movie. “Little Shop of Horrors” hits the NYC stage on July 1-2.
★ And final figures show that “Avengers: Age of Ultron” has easily knocked “Fast & Furious 7” from the top of the UK box office after 3 weeks. In its opening weekend in Britain, the superhero sequel brought in $27 million, making it 2015’s biggest UK movie opening. The first “Avengers” film debuted in Britain in 2012 with $24 million, going on to earn a total of $79 million. “Age of Ultron” looks likely to pass that amount with ease. It opens in North America this Friday.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – The Lone Bellow (“Then Came the Morning”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – Fan-favorite moments; Patti LaBelle, Lil’ Kim, and Amber Riley perform.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Tim McGraw (“Sundown Heaven Town”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tim McGraw again.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Misterwives (“Our Own House”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Jack Antonoff (Bleachers).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Future Islands (“Singles”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Who Is Fancy (“Goodbye”).
• “Queen Latifah” (syndicated) – Janelle Monáe (“The Electric Lady”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tori Kelly (“Unbreakable Smile”, coming this Summer).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – 2 contestants are eliminated; performances by Jason DeRulo and Rozzi Crane.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – Her family is criticizing Asif Kapadia’s new documentary “Amy” as being ‘misleading’ and ‘unbalanced’ and is distancing itself from the project after initially supporting it. The bio-film premieres at Cannes Film Festival in May and is released in cinemas July 3rd.
• Ariana Grande – An overzealous fan (aka stalker) has been arrested for demanding a meeting with her at her March gig in Connecticut, according to a new TMZ report. Timothy Normandin had previously been issued a warning by cops to back off.
• Beyoncé – Jay Z wrote his verse for 2003’s “Crazy in Love” in just 10 minutes.
• Blur – Today they finally release a new album called “The Magic Whip”, featuring formerly estranged singer/guitarist Graham Coxon, who did not appear on the 2003 album “Think Tank”.
• Elvis Presley – His private jets “Lisa Marie” and “Hound Dog II”, which have been on display at Graceland since 1984, will remain there in perpetuity. They were set to be removed at the end of the month when the owners’ agreement expired. But now it seems Graceland has acquired them and intends to keep them on-site.
• Jessie J – She paid her rent for 3 years with the royalties from co-writing Miley Cyrus’ 2009 hit “Party in the USA”.
• Lil Wayne – Atlanta Police have confirmed they are still looking for suspects following an incident on Sunday in which his tour bus was shot multiple times. He & his entourage were leaving a nightclub when the shooting occurred. No one was injured.
• One Direction – Louis Tomlinson, who launched his own record label 78 Productions earlier this month, is now said to have hired his mom, Johannah Poulston, as a co-director to help manage the venture.
• U2 – “Beautiful Day” almost didn’t get released in 2000 because Bono thought it sounded too similar to the band’s music from the 1980s.
THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Out today on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “The Boy Next Door” ( R-Rated Thriller ): Jennifer Lopez stars as a woman who, shortly after finalizing her divorce, falls for a younger man who has just moved in across the street. Things get complicated when their torrid affair takes an obsessive, dangerous turn. Co-stars Ryan Guzman, Kristin Chenoweth, John Corbett.
• “The Gambler” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller ): A literature professor who’s also a hopelessly addicted gambler has to borrow money from his mother and a loan shark. Further complicating his situation is his relationship with one of his students. Stars Mark Wahlberg, Jessica Lange, John Goodman, Brie Larson. A remake of the 1974 film of the same name.
• “Inherent Vice” ( R-Rated Crime Drama ): Joaquin Phoenix stars in this adaptation of the 2009 Thomas Pynchon novel about a drug-addled detective who becomes immersed in a number of mysteries in 1969 Los Angeles. Co-stars Josh Brolin, Owen Wilson, Reese Witherspoon, and Benicio Del Toro.
• “Paddington” ( PG Family Comedy ): A young Peruvian bear finds himself lost and alone at London’s Paddington Station, where he meets the kindly ‘Brown’ family who offer him a home. Stars Hugh Bonneville (“Downton Abbey”), Sally Hawkins, Julie Walters. Based on the Michael Bond children’s books.
• “The Wedding Ringer” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Josh Gad plays a socially awkward groom-to-be with no best man lined up for his wedding. With less than 2 weeks to go until he marries the girl of his dreams (“Big Bang Theory” actress Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting), he runs into the owner of ‘Best Man Inc’ (Kevin Hart), a company that provides flattering best men for guys in need.
• Also released today: “Cancer: The Emperor of All Maladies” (Documentary); “Covert Affairs: Season 5” (TV); “I Love Lucy: I Heart Mom Edition” (Vintage TV); “The Jeffersons: Season 7 – 1980-81” (Vintage TV); “The Mentalist: The Complete 7th and Final Season” (TV); “My Little Pony Tales: The Complete Classic TV Series” (Kids TV); “Scooby-Doo! and Scrappy-Doo!: The Complete Season 1” (Kids TV); “Sgt. Bilko: The Phil Silvers Show Season 2 – 1956-57 (Vintage TV); “Suits: Season 4” (TV); and “Wolf Hall” (TV Miniseries).
THE RADIO HIDDEN IN YOUR PHONE:
Many smartphones – including Apple’s iPhones, Samsung’s Galaxy phones and LG phones – come with an FM chip installed but many are not switched on by the manufacturer. Britain’s BBC and other broadcasters are pushing to have the radio capability turned on. They say it would allow users to listen to broadcasts without data charges and could also prove a vital way for users to get info during emergencies. USA’s National Association of Broadcasters claims the top 10 phones on the market include radio chips that are not activated, though they would have little impact on battery life. How does this make any sense? It’s thought that mobile phone network providers are reluctant to allow access because it would reduce demand for data used by streaming Internet broadcasts. (Not to mention the bottom line at iTunes, Google Play, etc.)
MINDFULNESS VS DOPE:
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) could offer a new choice for millions of people with recurrent depression, according to a new study. Scientists who’ve tested it against anti-depressant medication have found it works just as well. Mindfulness therapy trains people to focus on the present, to recognize early warning signs of depression, and to understand that negative thoughts may come and go. Scientists say their findings suggest MBCT could provide a much-needed alternative for people who cannot or do not wish to take long-term prescription drugs. However, the experts stress that drug therapy is still essential for some. (You can bet that big pharm is already hard at work looking for ways to refute all this.)
– “The Lancet”
OLDIES THAT SOUND LIKE THEY’RE ABOUT WOMEN (BUT AREN’T):
• “Ana’s Song (Open Fire)” by Silverchair – Lead singer Daniel Johns suffered from anorexia nervosa and nicknamed it ‘Ana’ when writing about his experience with it.
• “Cracklin’ Rosie” by Neil Diamond – She’s not a girl … she’s a bottle of wine. It’s a play-on-words about crackling rosé wine.
• “Delilah” by Queen – ‘Delilah’ was not a woman but one of Freddie Mercury’s beloved cats.
• “Elenore” by The Turtles – Penned as an ‘anti-love letter’ to their record label, the nonsense lyrics (“you’re my pride & joy etc”) were a joke. To everyone’s surprise, it was a big hit.
• “Helen Wheels” by Paul McCartney & Wings – ‘Helen Wheels’ was McCartney’s punny name for the Land Rover he & Linda McCartney drove around their Scottish farm.
• “Sexy Sadie” by The Beatles – The song was about Indian guru Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, whom they became disillusioned with after he hit on Mia Farrow and other female students.
• “Shannon” by Henry Gross – Gross wrote this song about the tragic death of ‘Shannon’, the Irish Setter dog owned by The Beach Boys’ Carl Wilson.
– Condensed from MentalFloss.com
THE WORD FROM FIRST-TIME PARENTS:
Real comments from moms & dads after the birth of their first …
✓ “Do whatever works for you and don’t Google anything.”
✓ “Be prepared for the unexpected.”
✓ “He’s 5 lbs and he has his own room. I don’t even have my own room.”
✓ “Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s all just spilled milk.”
✓ “All the poop and snot and screaming and crying and fighting. Worth it. All of it. Totally worth it.”
✓ “Be prepared to love something more than you ever thought you could.”
BAR FIGHT INSULTS TURNED INTO ACADEMIC PAPERS:
• “Re-Establishing Agency in the Narrative of Maternal Obesity: A Post-Colonial Critique of Your Mom”
• “The Social Construction Of “Outside”: A Study of a Cultural Concept Concerning Where We Should Take This Crap, Mutha”
• “Reexamining Conceptions of Beauty: Questioning Whether Your Girlfriend is Even Hot”
• “Facial Anatomy as an Object of Change: Problematizing Your Face”
• “Applying Foucault’s Analysis of Medicine & Power to Your Diagnosis as a Dipshit”
• “What Are You, a Little Bitch? A Post-Feminist Analysis of Your Masculinity”
– Adapted from McSweeneys.net
BS AMAZING APPAREL FACTS:
• According to Swedish mathematicians there are 177,147 different ways to tie a tie.
• The 1st sports bra was made from 2 jock straps.
– BBC News
BS CHRONOMETER 04.28.15
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950  Jay Leno, New Rochelle NY, retired late-night TV host (“Tonight Show” 1992-2014)
1971  Bridget Moynahan, TV actress (‘Erin Reagan-Boyle’ on “Blue Bloods” since 2010)/movie actress (“John Wick”)/NFL QB Tom Brady’s baby mama (2007)
1974  Penélope Cruz (Sanchez), Madrid, Spain, movie actress (2009 Oscar-“Vicky Cristina Barcelona”, “Pirates Of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides”) UPCOMING: “Zoolander 2” (2016).
1981  Jessica Alba, Pomona CA, movie actress (“Machete Kills”, “Fantastic Four”)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Biological Clock Day”, saluting our internal biological clock or Circadian Rhythm, which helps our bodies adapt to the daily cycle of day and night as the Earth rotates. (Unless you get up at 4 am to do a morning show.)
• “International Workers Memorial Day”, a worldwide day of remembrance and action for workers killed, disabled, injured, or made unwell by their work.
• “Kiss Your Mate Day”, a day to share the pleasure of a kiss when he or she least expects it.
• “Poetry Reading Day”, a day to ‘read some great poetry, the world better to see.’ (“There once was a girl from St John’s …”)
• “School Bus Drivers Day”, observed annually on the 4th Tuesday of April to honor those who transport our kids efficiently and safely in a big yellow machine.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2012  ‘Scotty’ is ‘beamed up’ as ashes of late actor James Doohan, who played engineer ‘Montgomery Scott’ on “Star Trek”, are launched into space aboard a SpaceX rocket
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2001  US millionaire Dennis Tito becomes ‘1st Space Tourist’, paying $12 million-plus to spend 8 days aboard a Russian Soyuz mission carrying supplies to International Space Station
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1985  ‘Largest Sand Castle’ is completed, standing 4-stories-tall (St Petersburg, Florida)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Day of Remembrance for Victims of Chemical Warfare
[Wed] International Dance Day
[Wed] World Wish Day
[Thurs] Bugs Bunny Day
[Thurs] CRA Income Tax Deadline (Canada)
[Thurs] Spank Out Day
This Week Is … Air Quality Awareness Week
This Month Is … Multiple Birth Awareness Month
MORE REAL BOOKS WITH REALLY WEIRD TITLES:
• “How to Disappear Completely & Never Be Found”
• “A History of Thimbles”
• “Breeding Stud Sheep”
• “The Art of Painting Animals on Rocks”
• “How to Avoid Ships”
• “How to Start Your Own Country”
• “The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America”
• “Do It Yourself Coffins for Pets and People”
• “How to Sharpen Pencils”
• “101 Uses For a Dead Cat”
– Sourced from List25.com
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which does a ‘herpetologist’ study?
a. Herpes & other STDs.
b. Snakes & other reptiles. [CORRECT]
c. Herbs & other spices.
BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s the most annoying thing anyone ever did to you (or to everyone) at work?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m busier than a one-toothed man in a corn-on-the-cob eating contest this morning …
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: A new poll finds we spend an average of $4,500 a year on THIS.
Answer: Items we regret (junk food, booze, etc).
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Money isn’t everything … but it sure keeps the kids in touch.