Friday, April 28, 2017        Edition: #5963

Can You Believe This Sheet?

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★Johnny Depp isn’t just in the red—he’s seeing red.  Depp sued The Management Group in January for $25 million, alleging fraud and negligence. He also accused the Hollywood reps of failing to file his taxes on time and taking out high-interest loans on his behalf. Depp claims that  led him to be more than $40 million in debt. In a countersuit, the actor’s ex-managers cited Depp’s lavish lifestyle as the cause of his financial downfall, claiming that Depp lived an ultra-extravagant lifestyle that often knowingly cost him in excess of $2 million per month.  Now, for the first time, the actor has addressed his financial situation.  In an interview on Tuesday, Depp said; Why didn’t they drop me as a client if I was so out of control? I’ve worked very, very hard for a lot of years and trusted a lot of people, some who’ve clearly let me down.”
(Then he bought another island, a rocket ship and an orange penguin, and signed on to do another ‘art’ movie that no one will ever see).
-E!Online
★ Serena Williams says that ‘20 weeks’ baby-bump photo was supposed to be personal. She was documenting her progressing pregnancy on Snapchat when she accidentally pressed the wrong button and made the post public.  The photo of the tennis superstar in a one piece bathing suit  immediately made headlines around the world. Her publicist later confirmed the pregnancy to The Associated Press.
(That’s what you say when your Mom is mad that you put it online before you told her!)
-PageSix
★Tom Hardy played villain ‘Bane’ in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ but he played superhero on the streets of London.  When he saw a pair of men on a stolen moped crash after running a red light then flee, Hardy took off after one of them.  A witness said he ‘went off like a shot in pursuit and
looked furious’.  Hardy held the man until police arrived.
(How tough could they have looked….riding a moped?)
-The Sun
★ The Los Angeles property where Marilyn Monroe was found dead in 1962 is up for sale again.  The home, described as ‘an authentic 1929 hacienda’ is being offered at $6.9 million according to the agency listing.  Nestled in the upscale Brentwood neighborhood, the four-bedroom three-bathroom villa covers 2,624 sq ft and comes with swimming pool, citrus grove and guest house.
-DailyMail

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global):  Magic Johnson, Gabourey Sidibe, Dua Lipa R
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV):  Martin Short, Britt Robertson, Jessica Seinfeld
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global):  Tom Hanks, Anna Baryshnikov
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV):  Jake Gyllenhaal, Whitney Cummings, Post Malone featuring Quavo of Migos and Metro Boomin, Charlie Benante R
• “Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV):  Alec Baldwin, Kerry Washington, Jose Gonzalez R
• “The View” (ABC/CTV):  Salma Hayek, Eugenio Derbez, Dr. Ian Smith
• “The Talk” (CBS): Joseph Fiennes, Kathryn Hahn, guest co-host Jan Jeffcoat
• “Live with Kelly” (ABC/CTV):  LL Cool J, Lea Michele, guest co-host  John Leguizamo
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV):  Oprah Winfrey, Laura Dern, Joely Fisher, Clea Lewis, David Anthony Higgins
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX):  Jenna Elfman
• “The Real” (FOX):  A two-year-old heart recipient and his family meet the parents of their donor
Saturday:
• “2017 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony” (HBO): Inductees include Electric Light Orchestra, Journey, Pearl Jam, Tupac Shakur, Yes and  Joan Baez
• “Full Frontal With Samantha Bee” (TBS): 75-Minute “Not the White House Correspondents’ Dinner” Special

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Drake – his song ‘One Dance’ was the most popular song in the world last year, according to the International Federation of the Phonographic Industry (sounds like a hip organization).  ‘One Dance’ had 12.5 million in sales and track-equivalent streams.  Justin Bieber’s ‘Love Yourself’ was second.  Drake has also been announced as the host of the NBA’s first awards show on June 26 in New York.
• Taylor Swift – had some kind words for her friend Ed Sheeran, and she wrote them down in an essay for Time’s 100 Most Influential People collection. Quote: “”He is protected by an impenetrable and ever-present armor of enthusiasm that has helped him endure any setback, letdown or underestimation. His reaction to any idea that fails is to almost immediately come up with a new one.”
• Spinal Tap – Harry Shearer has revealed that the corporation that holds the rights to ‘This Is Spinal Tap’ claimed it made only $179 in profit-sharing payments over 22 years. Shearer, who played bassist Derek Smalls in the 1984 movie, has provided more details behind the $400 million lawsuit launched against the Vivendi company by him and his colleagues Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and Rob Reiner. ($179?  I’ve spent more than that on Spinal Tap myself!  Record…cassette…CD…VHS…DVD…Blu Ray…)
• Shania Twain – has revealed that she will be releasing her new single “Life’s About To Get Good” in June, followed by her new studio album in September.  It will be her first new studio release in over a decade and half.
• Carrie Underwood – was honored at the 69th annual BMI/NAB Dinner with the BMI Board of Directors Award. It is the award that goes to the artist who has had a major impact on the broadcast industry. Underwood was presented with three new BMI songwriting awards for “Heartbeat,” “Little Toy Guns” and “Smoke Break,” plus nine BMI Million-Air Certificates for songs that have had more than one million spins on radio.
•Boston, Def Leppard, Deep Purple and Alice Cooper – are just some of more than 50 major tours that are part of Live Nation’s “Kickoff to Summer Ticket Promotion” May 2-9  where they are offering $20 tickets to over 1,000 shows this summer.  Other major rock tours that are part of the promotion include Chicago and Kings of Leon, The Doobie Brothers, Nickelback with Daughtry, Matchbox Twenty and Counting Crows, Depeche Mode, Dead & Co, Styx and REO Speedwagon, Sublime with Rome and The Offspring, and Rod Stewart with Cyndi Lauper. (So basically everyone?)

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Circle” (PG-13 Drama, Sci-Fi, Thriller) A woman lands a dream job at a powerful tech company called the Circle, only to uncover a nefarious agenda that will affect the lives of her friends, family and that of humanity. (Emma Watson, Tom Hanks, John Boyega)
• “How to Be a Latin Lover” (PG-13 Comedy) Finding himself dumped after 25 years of marriage, a man who made a career of seducing rich older women must move in with his estranged sister, where he begins to learn the value of family. ( Eugenio Derbez, Salma Hayek, Rob Lowe)
• “Sleight” (R-Rated Action, Drama) A young street magician (Jacob Latimore) is left to care for his little sister after their parents passing and turns to illegal activities to keep a roof over their heads. When he gets in too deep, his sister is kidnapped and he is forced to use his magic and brilliant mind to save her.
(Seychelle Gabriel, Dule Hill, Sasheer Zamata, Storm Reid, Cameron Esposito)
• “Buster’s Mal Heart” (NR, Drama, Mystery, Thriller) A family man’s chance encounter with a conspiracy-obsessed drifter leaves him on the run from the police and an impending event known as The Inversion. ( Rami Malek, DJ Qualls, Kate Lyn Sheil)
• “A Dark Song” ( PG-13 Drama, Horror) A determined young woman and a damaged occultist risk their lives and souls to perform a dangerous ritual that will grant them what they want. ( Mark Huberman, Susan Loughnane, Steve Oram)

SKIP TO THE LOO…OR NOT:
We’ve all done it…and we’ve certainly all made our kids do it…a ‘preventive’ trip to the restroom before a long trip or a social gathering.  What we don’t realize is that long term, it only makes the problem worse.  The ‘just in case’ trip to the toilet can lead to a ‘shrinking’ of the bladder, according to an expert in bladder dysfunction.  And that is only going to lead to MORE trips to the bathroom.  In fact, he says he had a patient who had to ‘go’ 22 times per day.  Going ‘just in case’ means your bladder won’t ever fill to a normal level (more than 200ml) because it’s often being emptied.’ He says that if you don’t ‘stretch’ your bladder by letting it fill up, it will slowly weaken – meaning you’ll have to use the facilities more often.
(But I’ll feel a lot more comfortable…)
(22 times per day?  I call that Saturday night!)
-Yahoo

NOT A SINGLE LADY SINGLE:
According to this weeks’ Billboard Hot 100 chart, all of the Top 10 songs in the world right now are by male artists, led by Ed Sheeran’s ‘Shape of You’ and ‘That’s What I Like’ by Bruno Mars.
The last time that happened?  February 11, 1984.  Katy Perry would be born 8 months later. Taylor Swift would be born almost 6 years later.  Here are the top 10 from that date:
1, “Karma Chameleon,” Culture Club
2, “Joanna,” Pool & the Gang
3, “Talking in Your Sleep,” The Romantics
4, “Owner of a Lonely Heart,” Yes
5, “Jump,” Van Haled
6, “That’s All,” Genesis
7, “Running With the Night,” Lionel Richie
8, “Pink Houses,” John Mellencamp
9, “Think of Laura,” Christopher Cross
10, “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues,” Elton John
(No, Joanna and Laura don’t count!)
(**CAUTION** Boy George doesn’t count!)
-Billboard

ARE INTERVIEWS ON THEIR WAY OUT?
Job interviews.  Everyone hates them.  The applicant is nervous and worried that their entire professional career could be scuttled with a flubbed response (or even worse, a late bus or flat tire).  The interviewer probably has 26 other things that they need to be doing that day.  Well good news.  A professor at the Yale School of Business Management says that according to his research, job interviews can be a useless waste of time.  According to him:
• interviews can throw off other, more valuable information.  GPA is a much more reliable predictor of future job success than the results of an employment interview.
• individuals have too much confidence in their ability to glean information from candidates in a face-to-face conversation.
• people who have miserably failed interviews to med school but were offered to join the course anyway performed as well at those who aced the interview.
So what procedure should employers undertake to select an employee?  The professor suggests using the interview to test job-related skills…or at least give all applicants identical questions.
(How about a lottery?)
(No interviews…Yes!  I’ll never have to buy a new suit  again!)

BS AMAZING FACT:
Both Hamburg, Germany and Hamburg, NY claim the original hamburger. Neither contained ham.
–DidYouKnow

BS CHRONOMETER 04.28.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [67] Jay Leno, New Rochelle NY, retired late-night TV host (“Tonight Show” 1992-2014)
1971 [46] Bridget Moynahan, TV actress (‘Erin Reagan-Boyle’ on “Blue Bloods” since 2010)/movie actress (“John Wick”)/NFL QB Tom Brady’s baby mama (2007)
1974 [43] Penélope Cruz (Sanchez), Madrid, Spain, movie actress (“Zoolander 2″, “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”)
1981 [36] Jessica Alba, Pomona CA, movie actress (“Machete Kills”, “Fantastic Four”)/consumer goods entrepreneur (The Honest Company)

SATURDAY:
1933 [84] Willie Nelson, Abbott, TX, Country singer, activist, poet, songwriter, actor (“On the Road Again”)/songwriter (“Crazy”)/sometime actor (“Beer For My Horses”)/Farm Aid co-founder (1985)/environmentalist (Willie Nelson Bio-diesel)/Country Music Hall of Fame (1993)
1954 [63] Jerry Seinfeld, Brooklyn NY, retired TV actor (“Seinfeld” 1990-98)/comedian (web series “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee” since 2012)
1955 [62] Kate Mulgrew, Dubuque IA, TV actress (‘Red’ on “Orange Is the New Black” since 2013, “Star Trek: Voyager” 1995-2001)
1957 [60] Daniel Day-Lewis, London UK, movie actor (2012 Oscar-”Lincoln”, 2008 Oscar-”There Will Be Blood”, 1989 Oscar-”My Left Foot”)
1958 [59] Michelle Pfeiffer, Santa Ana CA, TV actress (“American Horror Story: Hotel” 2015)/movie actress (“Dangerous Liaisons”)
1970 [47] Uma Thurman, Boston MA, 6-ft movie actress (“Kill Bill” movies, “Pulp Fiction”)/spokesmodel (Virgin Media, Louis Vuitton)

SUNDAY:
TV actor Johnny Galecki (“Big Bang Theory”) is 42; TV actor Kunal Nayyar (“Big Bang Theory”) is 36; Movie actress Kirsten Dunst (“Spider-Man”) is 35.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Blueberry Pie Day”,  The official state dessert of Maine, one of the healthiest fruits on the market, inhibits cancer development and helps prevent urinary tract disease
• “Poetry Reading Day”, a day to ‘read some great poetry, the world better to see.’ (“There once was a girl from St John’s …”)
• “Hairball Awareness Day”, an annual observance on the last Friday of April. A few facts …
– The usual cat hairball isn’t round but tubular, approximately 1 cm (a half-inch) in diameter and about 4 cm (1.5 in) long (and attracts feet in the dark)
– Hairballs don’t discriminate. Many animals other than cats (ie: cows, goats, and other cud-chewers) are susceptible to indigestible gunk accumulating in their stomachs.
(None makes that sound like a cat, though…)
– The official name for what we call a hairball is a ‘bezoar’.
– They needn’t be made of hair. They can also form in people from nondigestible food parts, like celery, grape skins, sauerkraut; or from chewing gum; and even amassed pill capsules.
– In the Middle Ages, hairballs were cherished objects, set with gold and jewelry.
– The carbonic and phosphoric acid in Coke can dissolve some bezoars made of food parts. But serious cases require surgery.

SATURDAY:
• “Sense of Smell Day”, an annual event sponsored by the Sense of Smell Institute on the last Saturday of April when many children’s museums and science centers focus on the topic.
• “Zipper Day” It was first in 1851 that Elias Howe, the inventor of the sewing machine, received a patent for an “Automatic, Continuous Clothing Closure.” Howe never made an attempt to market his invention and missed the recognition he may have received.

SUNDAY:
• “Adopt a Shelter Pet Day”, an annual event encouraging the adoption of strays
• “Hairstylist Day”, On this day, we honor hairstylists everywhere who make artful hairstyles possible
AND REMEMBER (DAYS/WEEK):
This Week Is…National Princess Week
This Month Is…Stress Awareness Month

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2012 [05] ‘Scotty’ is ‘beamed up’ as ashes of late actor James Doohan, who played engineer ‘Montgomery Scott’ on “Star Trek”, are launched into space aboard a SpaceX rocket

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2001 [16] US millionaire Dennis Tito becomes ’1st Space Tourist’, paying $12 million-plus to spend 8 days aboard a Russian Soyuz mission carrying supplies to International Space Station

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2014 [03] Dubai International surpasses London Heathrow as the ‘World’s Busiest International Airport’, based on activity over the 1st quarter of the year

BULL’S BITS

BS HORRIBLESCOPES:
Use ‘em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – Your belief that all life’s problems can be solved with a heart-to-heart talk and a good night’s sleep will be severely tested when you’re introduced to mathematics.
• Taurus – Jupiter is in your Sun sign this week, making it pretty crowded in there, what with Jupiter being the largest of the planets and all.
• Gemini – This weekend you’ll show everyone that you can be stunningly sexy at 50, which is deeply troubling as you were 27 last week.
• Cancer – You’ll finally make an effort to remove your mental blinders, leaving the coroner to wonder why exactly you took the cordless drill to your temples.
• Leo – You’ll finally come to understand your own heart and mind, and by extension, exactly what everyone has been laughing at all these years.
• Virgo – The flame of true love will finally gutter and die in your soul, but take heart: the flame of too many videogame systems plugged into a single outlet is burning bright in your den.
• Libra – Your natural resourcefulness allows you to enjoy father-daughter day at the zoo, though you are neither a father nor a daughter … and you can’t stand animals.
• Scorpio – The stars foresee a lesson in humility this week when you try telling everyone about the “hot new band” Animal Collective, which the stars have been listening to for like forever.
• Sagittarius – You thought true love would last forever but you’re shocked to discover an expiration date printed on the back, just below the consumer warnings.
• Capricorn – It’s really too bad you couldn’t have been defenestrated years ago when it was cool before everybody started using the word.
• Aquarius – Although you’re beginning to despair, it’s important to square your shoulders, set your jaw, take a deep breath, and try to hit the toilet with everything this time.
• Pisces – You will definitely be remembered by all people for all time, a fact that should make you feel much more shame and disappointment than it may seem.
– Adapted from TheOnion.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎What did you totally screw up, but no one ever found out it was you?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
It’s great to have grey hair.  Ask anyone who’s bald.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: THIS was originally invented in 1924 as a way to remove makeup.
Answer: Kleenex tissues

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.


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