There’s a Difference Between Sheet and Crapola!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
✳ Junie Hoang (aka Huong Hoang) will have her day in LA court today, but it doesn’t look like it will be as prosperous a day as she had hoped for. The actress is suing IMDb.com and its parent company Amazon.com because the former revealed her age on her Internet Movie Database profile. However, a previous ruling by a judge has already exonerated Amazon from any involvement in the alleged wrongdoing. (You can sue someone for telling your age? Maybe you should be sued for lying about it … as she did.)
– TheObserver.ca
✳ Halle Berry’s publicist has confirmed reports that the 46-year-old actress is pregnant with fiancé Olivier Martinez’s baby. Sources claim the Oscar-winner is expecting a boy later this year. Berry is already mom to 5-year-old Nahla, her daughter from her previous relationship with Gabriel Aubry. (Shouldn’t her parenting license have been revoked by now?)
– Jam! Showbiz
✳ 20-year-old “Spring Breakers” star Selena Gomez has become the latest victim of a ‘swatting’ hoax, in which callers phone 9-1-1 dispatchers to elicit an urgent response from first responders. Gomez and her mother were stunned when cops swarmed her LA home. That incident came after officers rushed to Justin Timberlake’s home to investigate a similar call Friday. (Shouldn’t there be technology to track these dangerous pranksters down by now?)
– WENN.com
✳ “Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival” will be staying put in Indio, California for the long haul. Indio City Council has approved a proposal to keep the festival there through the year 2030. The deal also allows promoters Goldenvoice to stage as many as 5 events each year. In addition to the 2 weekends of “Coachella” and the country festival “Stagecoach”, they’ll also be allowed to put on 2 events each Fall. (Smart decision. Who’d ever heard of Indio before?)
– “Los Angeles Times”
✳ And actor Wesley Snipes has been released from prison and placed under home confinement to serve out the remainder of his sentence for tax evasion. He began serving his 3-year sentence in December 2010. He must now remain under house arrest until July 19th, when his sentence will officially end. 50-year-old Snipes has always maintained his innocence and insists he was ‘duped by tax advisors’. (At least we’re spared any more “Blade” movies in the meantime.)
– Canoe.ca
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) – Another performance night as the final 10 celebrities dance to a song of their choice that represents a memorable time or experience in their lives.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Kid Rock (“Rebel Soul”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Local Natives (“Hummingbird”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Ghostface Killah (“12 Reasons to Die”); Keith Richards (Rolling Stones).
• “NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship Game” (CBS) – The 2013 ‘March Madness’ final from Atlanta, Georgia (Louisville vs Michigan). Country singer Travis Tritt performs the pre-game anthem.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Vintage Trouble (“Bomb Shelter Sessions”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Adam Levine, Blake Shelton, Shakira, and Usher continue to pick vocalists for their individual teams as part 5 of the ‘blind auditions’ rolls.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – Today her new single produced by Timbaland, “Grown Woman”, releases digitally. The song’s video is a Pepsi commercial, in which she dances with multiple copies of herself in mirrors. (Sort of like her Super Bowl halftime show.)
• Blake Shelton – He’s debuted at #1 on the country album sales chart with “Based On a True Story …”.
• Carrie Underwood – Her “Blown Away Tour” has sold out all 22 dates performed so far this year.
• Darius Rucker – He sits atop the ‘Billboard Country Songs’ chart this week with “Wagon Wheel”.
• Justin Bieber – He tells “Teen Vogue” he has few friends and just 4 people that he regularly keeps in contact with, including his mother, father, and rapper Lil Twist. Quote: “Now I just don’t trust anybody. Literally, my phone never rings.” (Aw.)
• Madonna – Her 16-year-old daughter Lourdes is dating “Homeland” actor Timothée Chalamet, who’s played ‘Finn Walden’, son of the vice-president on the Showtime series. The two met while attending NYC’s Fiorello H LaGuardia High School of Music, Art & Performing Arts.
• Rolling Stones – They’ve added more dates to their “50 & Counting” tour, as second shows have been announced for Chicago (May 31st) and Toronto (June 6th).
• Shakira – She’s requesting a dismissal of the $100-million lawsuit filed by ex-boyfriend Antonio de la Rua, who claims he’s owed that for ‘guiding her career’. She’s responded that she was already a star when they met in 2000 and that they signed a document in 2006 stating they’d each keep their own assets in the case of a split. (Hmm. She’s got ya, bro.)
TRUE FAME IS MORE THAN 15 MINUTES:
Researchers have discovered that true fame is enduring, and people who become truly famous stay famous for decades. After studying names mentioned in newspapers over a period of several decades, researchers at Montréal’s McGill University and NY’s Stony Brook University have discovered that lasting fame holds true for individuals who gained renown in sports, politics – even in entertainment – where it might appear that fame is likely to be most fleeting. (OK, let’s talk about Hanson, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Patrick Ewing, Pavel Bure, and Skeet Ulrich. Who? Exactly.)
– PsychCentral.com
DANGEROUS DRIVERS:
Who’s likely to be the safer driver … a man or a woman? Guess what? It’s the woman. According to a new government report, male drivers are significantly more likely than females to drive dangerously and to drive while distracted, which leads to about 80% of car crashes. (A man, however, is slightly less likely to be driving while fixing makeup in the rearview mirror.)
– “Prevention Magazine”
HOT BABY NAMES OF 2013 (SO FAR):
According to Nameberry.com, here are some unusual and surprising names attracting significantly higher interest in the 1st quarter of this year vs the same time period last year …
✓ Christian – Interest in this name has tripled in the first quarter of 2013 compared to last year. What happened? “Fifty Shades of Grey” hero ‘Christian Grey’.
✓ Finnegan – An Irish surname meaning ‘fair’ that many parents are choosing as a long form for the popular name Finn. Truth be told, the two names are unrelated.
✓ Linnea – A top Swedish name that’s attracting new attention elsewhere as a more exotic member of the floral family of girl names. It may be pronounced lin-NAY-ah or lin-NEE-ah.
✓ Marlowe – Originally an English surname, it means ‘driftwood’ and is up over 350%, primarily for girls. That’s likely thanks to a slew of celebs giving their newborn daughters the moniker.
✓ Marnie – Had its first popularity after the Hitchcock movie with that title came out in 1964. It’s resurgence is in part thanks to the ‘Marnie’ character on HBO’s “Girls”.
✓ Mavis – French for ‘songbird’ and Welsh for ‘strawberries’. It may be suddenly hot thanks to the adorable vampire heroine of “Hotel Transylvania”, voiced by Selena Gomez.
✓ Mingus – This surname of jazz great Charles Mingus was first used as a baby name by model Helena Christensen. Other jazzy names finding new fans: Ella, Etta, and Miles.
✓ Nelly – Originally short for Helen or Eleanor, its popularity is up nearly 300% for 2013. That’s partly due to its use as a nickname for Kardashian baby Penelope ‘Nelly’ Disick.
✓ Thor – Chris Hemsworth and “The Avengers” have made this god of Norse mythology a popping baby name for 2013. Thor, which means ‘thunder’, is up in interest by over 200%.
✓ Wilder – A newly hot baby name that wants to have it both ways: It’s a bad-boy name as well as a literary choice thanks to playwright Thornton Wilder, who wrote the classic “Our Town”.
– TODAY.com
A POPULAR SPOT:
Already the world’s 2nd-most-consumed beverage – only water is more popular – tea is gaining further ground of late as the public learns more about its health benefits. A growing body of research suggests that tea helps prevent cardiovascular disease, helps burn calories, and wards off some types of cancer. Scientists don’t clearly understand why tea is so beneficial, but most agree that it is. (Part of its newfound popularity may be the expanding list of new flavors. Witness: Blueberry Kona Pop; Citrus Lavender Sage; Maharaja-Samurai Chai; Youthberry Wild Orange Blossom. Sounds like an ice cream shop!)
– “Washington Post”
DID YOU KNOW?
• You can pay for a front row seat in the US Supreme Court. (But who the hell would wanna?)
– “New York Times”
• William is the surname that has decreased the most since 1901. (Know anybody with that last name?)
– “Daily Express”
• Selfish people are avoided by monkeys. (Not to mention other people.)
– “Scientific American”
BS CHRONOMETER 04.08.13
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1966 [47] Robin Wright, Dallas TX, movie actress (“State of Play”, “Forrest Gump”)/ex-Mrs Sean Penn (1996-2007)
1968 [45] Patricia Arquette, Chicago IL, TV actress (“Medium” 2005-11)/movie actress (“Holes”, “Ed Wood”)/ex-Mrs Nicolas Cage (1995-2001)/sister of actors Roseanna Arquette & David Arquette
1981 [32] Taylor Kitsch, Kelowna BC, movie actor (“John Carter”, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”)/TV actor (“Friday Night Lights” 2006-11)
1984 [29] Ezra Koenig, NYC, indie rock singer-guitarist (Vampire Weekend-“Cousins”, “A-Punk”)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Birthday Of the Buddha” (563 BC), celebrated in Japan, Taiwan, Hawaii, Korea and elsewhere. Considered the most important Buddhist holiday.
• “International Day Of the Roma”, begun in 1990 to celebrate Romani culture and raise awareness of the issues facing Romani people, commonly misnamed as ‘gypsies’.
• “International Feng Shui Awareness Day” [fung schway], celebrating the oriental ‘art of placement’ in which architecture and interiors are situated to blend with their surroundings in order to create greater harmony.
NET: http://bit.ly/alpvPG
• “Trading Cards For Grown-ups Day”. Why should adults have to give up their precious trading cards just because they get older? (“Mom, you didn’t throw out that Mickey Mantle rookie card when you cleaned out the attic, did ya?”)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1998 [15] Final episode of “Seinfeld” (NBC) is filmed on a high-security set to prevent leaks of the storyline
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1994 [19] The body of Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain is found, the victim of a self-inflicted shotgun blast (it’s later determined the event occurred several days earlier, likely April 5th)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1993 [20] 1st MLB baseball player to switch-hit home runs in same inning (Carlos Baerga, Cleveland Indians)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1975 [38] Joey, the ‘World’s Oldest Canary’, dies in Hull, England at age 34
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Equal Pay Day
[Tues] Be Kind to Lawyers Day
[Tues] Cherish an Antique Day
[Tues] Former POW Recognition Day
[Wed] SPCA Day
[Wed] Farm Animals Day
[Wed] Sibling Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Animal Control Appreciation Week / Blue Ribbon Week Against Child Abuse / Drafting Week / Public Health Week / Week Of the Ocean / Window Safety Week
BULL’S BITS
BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS ETIQUETTE:
Worst BS things to blurt out during sex …
• “This happens to me all the time.”
• “You woke me up for that?”
• “When would you like to meet my parents?”
• “Have you ever considered liposuction?”
• “I think you have it on backwards.”
• “I do this part better myself!”
• “On second thought, let’s turn OFF the lights.”
• “Hope you’re as good looking when I’m sober.”
• “One Mississippi …”
• “Next!”
– First published in “BS” 1999.
FIRST FOODS:
• The 1st doughnuts with holes were made by a 15-year-old, Hanson Gregory, who cut out the soggy centers of his fried cakes.
• The 1st hamburgers were eaten raw, back in the Middle Ages.
• The 1st potato chips were made by an angry New York chef. A customer at his restaurant kept sending back his french fries, complaining they were too thick and soft.
• The 1st ketchup was made of fish broth and mushrooms in China. It was called ‘ke-tsiap’. Sailors brought the sauce to England, where tomatoes were added and the name changed.
– First published in “BS” 2008.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com
BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What should a scented candle for men smell like? Yankee Candle’s new line of male-oriented candles includes ‘2-by-4’ (smells like sawdust) and ‘Riding Mower’ (cut grass).
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I was simply furious with my boss, so that’s when I handed in my notice at the helium balloon factory … no-one talks to me in that voice!
BS WEB GOODIE:
Here’s a site with ‘Celebrity Make-unders’ that features famous folks Photoshopped to look like ordinary people. Stick some of these on your website to get people talking! Our faves: Britney Spears, Tom Cruise.
NET: http://bit.ly/12klo2Q
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
You are suffering from ‘taresthesia’. What’s the prob?
a. Your foot is asleep. [CORRECT]
b. You can’t stop hiccuping.
c. You have severe earlobe rash.
– “Fun Facts”
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Married people suffer from THIS more than single people.
Answer: Heartburn.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
LOOK WHO’S BS-ING NOW!
Rick Bernius @ 88.9 Class X [WMWX] Cincinnati, Ohio; John Jackson @ Power 104 [CKLZ] Kelowna, British Columbia; Michelle McCoy @ Coast Country 93.1 [WKRO] Daytona Beach, Florida; Carl Kinsman @ Cool FM Belfast, Northern Ireland; and Patrick Porter @ 104.3 The Boulevard [WMJU] Brookhaven, Mississippi.
