Tuesday, August 13, 2013        Edition: #5045

Have Another Sheetload!

✶ Actress Katherine Heigl is pitching a new series that would enable her return to TV, 3 years after quitting “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC). The 34-year-old is looking to produce a new political spy drama about the CIA, in which she would star as an adviser to the US president. (She may have trouble attracting interest – she’s not one of Hollywood’s most beloved, with a reputation for being difficult and self-centered.)
– ContactMusic.com
✶ 46-year-old “Masterchef” Gordon Ramsey is facing tax problems for the 2nd time in 3 years. The restaurant mogul/TV chef allegedly has an unpaid 7-figure tax bill according to a memo from a former financial advisor that’s been leaked to UK tax officials. Ramsay fired the advisor under ‘mysterious circumstances’ this year and has hired accounting firm Deloitte to help clear his name. Asked about the allegations, Ramsay says: “Complete and utter rubbish.” (BS translation: Holy crap, not again!)
– “Daily Mail”
✶ Kim Kardashian & Kanye West have reportedly refused a $3-million offer for the 1st photos of their baby girl North West. Kardashian may have given birth over 2 months ago yet no one beyond mom & dad’s immediate circle has yet seen any pics of the child. The latest buzz suggests North may make her debut on social media. Initially, K & K were considering donating proceeds from exclusive baby pics to charity, but apparently decided against hawking images of their baby for money. (‘K’ people taking the high road … unheard of!)
– TMZ.com
✶ And 26-year-old male model Michael Girgenti is claiming that he, not Scott Disick, is the father of 34-year-old Kourtney Kardashian’s son Mason Dash Disick. He asserts he had unprotected sex with Kourtney 9 months before Mason was born and has written an impassioned letter begging the 3-year-old be submitted to a DNA test. If not, he’ll ask the courts to intervene. Why? He wants joint custody so he can ‘be a great father to Mason’. (That would be an odd twist – a paternity suit … by a father.)
– “Star Magazine”

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – 12 more hopefuls perform.
• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Luke Bryan (“Crash My Party”, his 4th studio album, out today).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – J Cole (“Born Sinner”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – The Lumineers (“The Lumineers”). Rerun.
• “Eric Clapton’s Crossroads Guitar Festival 2013” – Filmed highlights of this year’s charity concert in NYC screen in select theaters for one-night-only. Performers include Allman Bros, Buddy Guy, Gary Clark Jr, John Mayer, Keith Richards, Keith Urban, and Vince Gill.
NET: http://www.crossroadsguitarfestival.com
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Luke Bryan performs a special outdoor mini-concert.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Royal Teeth (“Wild”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) –  Justin Timberlake (“The 20/20 Experience”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Hanni El Khatib (“Head In the Dirt”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (ABC/CTV) – Carrie Underwood (“The Blown Away Tour: LIVE DVD”).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV2) – The dancers perform with all-stars from previous seasons; guest judge Debbie Allen.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Guest co-host Carnie Wilson (Wilson Phillips).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Kacey Musgraves performs “Blowin’ Smoke”; Katy Perry (“Prism”, out October 22nd). Rerun.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Ciara (“Ciara”). Rerun.

• Adele – She’s reportedly been offered the chance to play a villain in Matthew Vaughn’s new spy film, “The Secret Service”, joining David Beckham and Elton John in cameo roles. The 2014 movie stars Colin Firth, Michael Caine, and Samuel L Jackson.
• Franz Ferdinand – 41-year-old frontman Alex Kapranos collapsed backstage at a weekend music festival in Budapest, Hungary after suffering a major reaction to peanuts in what he thought was a rice dish. He was given injections to ease the affects of the allergy.
• Justin Bieber – Naked pics of the pop star have surfaced online, one showing him standing in a hallway with just a guitar covering his package; the other a bare-assed shot from behind. TMZ reports the snaps were taken in Toronto in 2012 … at the Bieb’s grandma’s house.
• Michael Jackson – Fred Jerkins III says he’s planning a project that incorporates unreleased songs and video footage by the late ‘King of Pop’. The producer worked with Jackson over a period of 2 years, which included the 2001 album “Invincible”.
• Paul McCartney – How old is he? He’s hired Giles Martin to work on his new album … the son of famed Beatles producer George Martin. The 71-year-old is also teaming with Adele’s producer Paul Epworth and Tom Jones collaborator Ethan Johns on the project.
• Ricky Skaggs – Today the bluegrass veteran releases his autobiography, “Kentucky Traveler”, which traces his life from growing up in the small town of Cordell, Kentucky to his time as a Nashville star. Skaggs learned to play the mandolin when he was just 5-years-old.

• “The Big Wedding” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Robert De Niro & Diane Keaton play a long-divorced couple who fake that they’re still married when their extended family unites for a wedding. Co-stars Katherine Heigl, Amanda Seyfried.
• “The Blown Away Tour: LIVE” (NR Concert Doc ): Pollstar’s ‘Top Female Country Touring Artist’ of 2012, country music superstar Carrie Underwood, performs over 20 songs, including a dozen #1 hits during her most recent tour. Filmed this past March in Ontario, California.
• “The Company You Keep” ( R-Rated Drama ): Robert Redford directs & stars as a public interest lawyer and single father whose tranquil world is turned upside down when a brash reporter (Shia LaBeouf) exposes his true identity. Co-stars Julie Christie, Susan Sarandon.
• “Olympus Has Fallen” ( R-Rated Action Thriller ): A disgraced former Secret Service agent finds himself trapped inside the White House in the wake of a terrorist attack. Stars Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Angela Bassett.
• Also released today: “The Captains Close Up” (Documentary); “Doctor Who: The Green Death – Special Edition” (TV); “Enlightened: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV); “Family Ties: The 7th & Final Season” (Vintage TV); “Girls: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV); “The Mindy Project: Season 1” (TV); “Once Upon a Time: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV); and “Southland: The Complete 5th & Final Season” (TV).

This Friday the ‘Maple Bacon Jam Cronut Burger’ will debut when the Canadian National Exhibition opens in Toronto. Given the meteoric rise in popularity of the trendiest pastry in the world right now, it was only a matter of time before someone made it into a burger. Epic Burgers & Waffles, a regular food purveyor at the world’s largest annual fair, admits it’s a ‘heart-stopping’ creation that sandwiches a hamburger patty between a sliced cronut, the hybrid croissant-donut pastry made famous by French chef  Dominique Ansel in NYC this Spring. Epic also made headlines in 2011 when it created the ‘Krispy Kreme Burger’. (Eat and purge!)

US airline JetBlue has launched a luggage delivery service so airline passengers don’t have to wait at airport baggage carousels. For an extra fee (1 bag for $25; up to 10 for $40) the new ‘Bags VIP’ concierge service will hand deliver checked bags to customers’ final destination within a 40-mile radius of the airport. Flyers can order the service up to 1 hour before departure. Upon arrival, bags identified with a ‘VIP’ tag are delivered by a rep within 4 hours. JetBlue follows the lead of American Airlines, which has launched a similar service. (For not much more you can courier your bag to your destination ahead of time, completely avoiding the agony of dragging it through airports.)
– RelaxNews.com

A new ranking based on total income from all sources over the past year …
5. Rush Limbaugh ($66 million).
4. ‘Dr’ Phil McGraw ($72 million).
3. Oprah Winfrey ($77 million).
2. Glenn Beck ($90 million).
1. [tie] Simon Cowell / Howard Stern ($95 million).
– Forbes.com

Los Angeles restaurant Ray’s & Stark Bar has unveiled a new bottled water menu … a 45-page bottled water menu. Parched patrons can sip from LA’s ‘most extensive water menu’ that features H2O from 10 different countries including Spain, France, Germany, and Canada. The manager says patrons are accustomed to pairing food with wine or beer, but many don’t realize that water is just as important to the entire dining experience. The most expensive bottle is ‘Beverly Hills 9OH2O’, a California-bottled beverage priced at a whopping $40 and described as ‘the champagne of waters’. (Who knew water could taste so expensive?)
– NYDailyNews.com

New fertility app ‘Glow’ aims to help women conceive naturally and if it doesn’t … it’s offering a cash payout. The iPhone app, created by PayPal founder Max Levchin, uses data to help women pinpoint the time of the month they are most likely to get pregnant. Although the app is free, users can opt into a $50-a-month fund called ‘Glow First’. Users pay into it for 10 months, then if they fail to conceive they receive an equal share of the total amassed during that time to help fund fertility treatments. The company guarantees that it doesn’t keep a single cent of the payments. (Sounds like something dreamed up by an insurance weasel.)
– TIME.com

Fish with interesting surroundings are brainier. (“Oh look, a castle!” … “Oh look, a castle!” …)
– “Times of London”


1926 [87] Fidel Castro, Biran, Cuba, Cuban President (1959-2008) who turned over leadership to his li’l brother, Raul Castro (now 82)

1955 [58] Paul Greengrass, Cheam UK, movie director (“The Bourne Ultimatum”, “The Bourne Supremacy”)

1973 [40] Andy Griggs, West Monroe LA, country singer (“If Heaven”, “She’s More”)

1978 [35] Mike Melancon, Mount Laurier QC, country musician (Emerson Drive-“Moments”, “Fall Into Me”)

1984 [29] James Morrison (Catchpole), Rugby UK, pop singer-songwriter-guitarist (“I Won’t Let You Go”, f/Nelly Furtado-“Broken Strings”)

• “Filet Mignon Day” (French for ‘cute fillet’ or ‘dainty fillet’), celebrating the beef steak cut from the tenderloin. The fillet is considered to be the most tender cut … and the most expensive. The average steer or heifer provides no more than 4-to-6 lbs of fillet.

• “International Lefthanders Day”, first celebrated on Friday, August 13, 1976 to salute that forgotten visible minority … lefties. Only about 10% of us are left-handed. If you’re one of them, shake off the oppression and stand up for your lefts!
NET: http://www.lefthandersday.com/about.html

• “Skinny Dipping Day”, saluting the decadent delight of swimming in the altogether … if there are no mosquitoes. (Hey, when’s ‘Fat Dipping Day’?)

2012 [01] Helen Gurley Brown, editor-in-chief of “Cosmopolitan” magazine for 32 years, dies in NYC at age 90
1988 [25] “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin enters the pop chart

1998 [15] Aerosmith release their biggest-ever hit, “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”

2011 [02] Before a Sugarland concert, the main stage at the Indiana State Fair in Indianapolis collapses during a hurricane-force wind gust, killing 7 and injuring 45 (opening act Sara Bareilles had just completed her performance)

1997 [16] 1st time ‘Kenny’ gets killed, as animated TV series “South Park” debuts on Comedy Central

2008 [05] USA swimmer Michael Phelps sets record for most gold medals won by an individual in Olympic history (a total of 14) with his win in the men’s 200-meter butterfly (at London 2012 he becomes the most decorated Olympian of all time, with a total of 22 medals)

[Wed] International Romance Day
[Wed] International Nagging Day
[Wed] Financial Awareness Day
[Thurs] Best Friends Day
[Thurs] Relaxation Day
This Week Is … Aviation Week
This Month Is … Cataract Awareness Month


✓ Hair Highligher – Apply lemon juice directly to strands to highlight hair while you’re out in the sun … or simply use a hair dryer.
✓ Facial Toner – Apply a few drops to a cotton ball and use it in place of your regular toner to eliminate surface oil.
✓ Nail Whitener – Squeeze a lemon into a small dish and soak your nails in the juice for a few minutes to remove stains and yellowing.
✓ DIY Deodorant – Citric acid kills odor-causing bacteria, making it the perfect emergency deodorant when rubbed under arms.
✓ Clarifying Hair Treatment – To cleanse product buildup, pour 1 part water/1 part juice over hair and let sit for 1 minute before rinsing.
✓ Hyperpigmentation Fader – Apply juice with a cotton ball once per day to lighten freckles or age spots over the course of a few weeks.
✓ Fabric Stain Remover – Create a paste by mixing with salt for tougher fabrics. For delicates, saturate the stain with lemon juice alone and rinse.
✓ Dandruff Treatment – To remove existing flakes, massage into scalp, leave for 10 minutes, then shampoo as usual.
✓ Jewelry Polisher – A lemon cut in half and dipped in salt offers the perfect combination of chemical and physical abrasiveness to clean brass, stainless steel, and copper.
✓ Body Exfoliator – Use 1 part lemon juice and 2 parts each of salt and olive oil to create an all-natural body scrub.
– Adapted from iVillage.ca

☎ We know we should hate them, but TV would be so boring without anti-heros … the good guys who aren’t so good. So who’s the best all-time anti-hero?  ‘Walter White’, ‘Don Draper’, ‘Omar Little’, ‘Tony Soprano’, ‘House MD’, ‘Dexter Morgan’?

Which civilization is given credit for being the first to use deodorant?
a. Ancient Rome.
b. Ancient Egypt. [CORRECT]
c. Definitely not France.
– HowStuffWorks.com

The boss and I have been a lot more friendly lately … but not to each other.

Question: If you have one of THESE, you work an average of 5 extra unpaid hours per week.
Answer: Smartphone.

Prejudiced people are all alike.

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