Monday, August 18, 2014        Edition: #5286

Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!

★ 24-year-old movie star Jennifer Lawrence & 37-year-old singer Chris Martin are dating, according to multiple sources. Word has it the Oscar-winning actress and Coldplay frontman have been spending quality time together since June. This comes after both high-profile celebs recently separated from their partners. Lawrence broke it off with actor Nicholas Hoult this Spring after 2 years of dating. And in March, Chris Martin & Gwyneth Paltrow famously announced their ‘conscious uncoupling’ after 10 years of marriage.
– E! News
★ Craig Ferguson is close to locking down his post-“Late, Late Show” gig. Ferguson, who announced earlier this year that he would be stepping down from the CBS-TV late-night show, is closing in on a deal to host a syndicated TV talk show for Tribune Media, a TV group that includes NYC’s WPIX, Chicago’s WGN, and LA’s KTLA. Instead of late-night, the show, which would premiere later in 2015, is being eyed for somewhere in the 7 pm range.
★ The Action Comics #1 issue that introduced ‘Superman’ originally sold for 10¢ in 1938 but a mint copy now up for auction on eBay is expected to fetch millions. It’s described as being ‘pristine’, a 9-out-of-10 on a scale of condition. Experts say it has the potential to become the most valuable comic book of all-time as it’s considered even better than one that fetched $2.16 million a couple of years ago. Bidding, which ends this coming Sunday, is already far over $1 million. There are believed to be fewer than 50 unrestored original copies in existence.
★ It’s North West’s time to shine! The 1-year-old daughter of Kim Kardashian & Kanye West has made her debut as a model, striking a pose in her couture for “CR Fashion Book”, run by former Vogue Paris editor-in-chief Carine Roitfeld. Little Nori even mirrored her mama’s famous pout for the precocious B&W pic. The budding starlet can be seen with a classic quilted mini-Chanel bag leaning up against her tiny leg and Lorraine Schwartz studs in her ears. “CR Fashion Book” featuring Kimye’s baby girl hits newsstands September 4th.
– “New York Daily News”

• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Sia (“1,000 Forms of Fear”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Jenny Lewis (“Rabbit Fur Coat”); Josh Groban (“All That Echoes”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Ciara (“Ciara”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Self (“Subliminal Plastic Motives”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Jenny O (“Automechanic”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Gaslight Anthem (“Get Hurt”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Ingrid Michaelson (“Girls & Boys”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Olivia Newton-John (“Early Olivia”, out September 2nd).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Royksopp & Robyn (“Do It Again”).

• Jack White – Tonight in Kansas City MO he embarks on a new set of tour dates behind his album “Lazaretto”. The string of 8 new shows runs through September 17th in Boston MA.
• Jason Aldean – He again leads the ‘Billboard Hot Country Songs’ chart for this week with “Burnin’ It Down” at #1.
• Lil Wayne – He’s announced “Tha Carter V” will drop October 28th. The cover is adorned with a photo of Wayne as a toddler alongside his mother. The album comes 3 years after the release of “Tha Carter IV”, and could be Weezy’s final solo album ever.
• Luke Bryan – “Crash My Party” has reclaimed the top spot on the ‘Billboard Country Albums’ chart for this week.
• Meghan Trainor – She currently has the #1 digital single with “All About That Bass”. She’ll release her debut EP, simply called “Title”, on September 9th. Then Epic releases her debut full-length album later in 2014.
• Nelly – He’s among a group who’ve created a college scholarship in honor of Michael Brown, the teenager killed by a police officer in Ferguson, Missouri earlier this month. He, rapper TI, actor Kevin Hart, and NBA player Al Jefferson will donate $15,000 a year to the fund.
• Nickelback – The Canadian (pseudo) rock veterans have left longtime label Roadrunner and signed with Republic Records for a new album, due out this Fall. They’ll also be hitting the road for an extensive tour.
• Sam Smith – He’s become the first UK male artist to ever to have his debut single reach #1 at Triple A, AC, and Pop radio. “Stay With Me” is being equally adored across 7 radio formats in the US, and has been certified 3X Platinum.
• Sia – Her video for “Chandelier” has been officially certified by VEVO for surpassing 100 million views, with a total of over 112 million to date. The track has also been recently certified Platinum by the RIAA. And it’s up for 2 MTV VMAs later this month.
• Taylor Swift – Today at 5 pm ET she appears in a worldwide livestream on Yahoo! from NYC. She’ll presumably announce and/or debut a new single off her forthcoming 5th album, and perhaps reveal a release date as well.

Technicon Design has unveiled concept drawings of the ‘IXION Windowless Jet’, an aircraft with screens covering the walls and ceiling of the fuselage … and there’s not a porthole in sight. But the lack of windows would actually enhance the scenic views from 40,000 feet. Here’s how: Cameras affixed to the wings would capture the outside environment and those images would then be displayed on the panoramic interior screens. If the outside views leave a lot to be desired, movies, stock footage, and pictures of other sights could be shown. It would also be a greener way to fly. Removing cabin windows would reduce the plane’s weight, allowing lower fuel use and less maintenance. (And passengers wouldn’t have to fight over window seats.)
– “Telegraph”

Nothing can trigger a memory like an aroma. Clove oil immediately transports you to a dental office. Crayola crayons take you back to elementary school. But some fragrances are being phased out thanks to technology and safety regs. How many of these do you remember?
• Bubble Gum Cards – Topps stopped including a stick of stiff, aromatic, hard-to-chew bubble gum several years ago when collectors complained about it sticking to the trading cards.
• Burning Leaves – Pollution concerns caused municipalities to enact open burning bans beginning in the 1980s. Today we bag ’em or compost ’em, but most of us can’t burn ’em.
• Cap Guns – Even if you didn’t have a toy gun handy, it was easy enough to ‘shoot off’ caps by striking them with a hammer or rock, thereby releasing their distinctive gunpowder/sulfur smell.
• Chalk Dust – It used to define the smell of school. With so many classrooms now using whiteboards, chalkboard ledges with piles of white powder on them are becoming extinct.
• Diesel Exhaust – City buses and semis used to belch a distinctive black exhaust. Reductions in diesel fuel’s sulfur content along with selective catalytic reduction have changed that.
• Ditto Copies – In 1960s and ’70s-era classrooms, virtually every student immediately inhaled fresh-off-the-machine print when the teacher passed out duplicated paper copies.
• Magic Markers – Marketed from 1952 until the early 1990s, the ink included a mixture of two solvents which had a distinctive odor and intoxicating properties when inhaled.
• New Car Smell – It’s changed over 50 years. Nowadays it comes from synthetic materials, plastics, and chemical additives such as flame retardants in the carpeting and upholstery.
• Phone Books – The inexpensive pulp paper plus the ink and glue in the binding gave the giant tomes a much mustier, paper-y odor than a paperback novel.
• Vacuum Tubes – Old TVs and radios were filled with tubes that emitted a ‘warm’ or hot engine smell as they heated up. A fine layer of dust added a slight burning aroma to the mix.
– Adapted from

In one of its largest renovations to date, famous London luxury department store Harrods has unveiled a brand new footwear department named … ‘Shoe Heaven’. Located suitably high-up on the 5th floor, and pushing 42,000 square feet, the massive space contains 17 footwear boutiques with collections from over 50 of the biggest luxury brands including Christian Dior, Chanel, Christian Louboutin, Valentino, Manolo Blahnik, and Louis Vuitton. A spokesperson says the luxe marble-floored addition reflects the fact that shoes are becoming an increasingly important part of the way a woman dresses. Alongside the shoes are private shopping suites and velvet banquette seating, said to provide an experience that’s more 5-star hotel than shoe store. (Every woman’s fantasy?)

An epidemic of laughing that lasted almost a year broke out in Tanganyika (now Tanzania) in 1962. Several thousand people were affected across several villages. It even forced a school to close. It wasn’t fun though … other symptoms included crying, fainting, rashes, and pain.


1936 [78] Robert Redford, Santa Monica CA, movie director (“A River Runs Through It”)/movie actor (“The Horse Whisperer”)/”Sundance Film Festival” founder (1978)

1957 [57] Denis Leary, Worcester MA, TV actor (“Rescue Me” 2004-11)/movie actor (“The Amazing Spider-Man 2”, “Ice Age” films)  COMING UP: Produces & stars in the 2015 FX TV series “Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll”, about a middle-aged musician trying to reunite his band.

1969 [45] Christian Slater, NYC, TV actor (“Breaking In” 2011-12)/movie actor (“Nymphomaniac”, “3,000 Miles to Graceland”)

1969 [45] Edward Norton, Columbia MD, movie actor (“The Grand Budapest Hotel”, “The Incredible Hulk”)

1977 [37] Régine Chassagne, St-Lambert, Québec, rock musician (Arcade Fire-“Reflektor”, “Keep the Car Running”)/married to group co-founder Win Butler

1992 [22] Frances Bean Cobain, LA CA, late Nirvana icon Kurt Cobain’s daughter and heir (estimated worth: $170 million)

• “Bad Poetry Day”, a day to compose some really rotten rhyme as revenge against all that ‘good poetry’ you were forced to study in school. Some valuable tips, from the online “How to Write Bad Poetry” guide …
1. When it comes to rhyming, near enough is always good enough.
2. Nothing rivals an incongruous bit of gratuitous name-dropping to diminish a poem’s worth.
3. Truly awful poetry can be written at lightning speed. However, sometimes the longer you agonize over it, the more you will cause others to do so, too.

• “Cupcake Day”, honoring the teeny little treat that doesn’t really count as cheating on your diet  … too small, right?

• “Long Tan Day” in Australia. Nope, nothing to do with lying about in the sun, it’s named after the Battle of Long Tan during the Vietnam War (aka ‘Australian Vietnam Veterans’ Day’).

• “Stay at Home With Your Kids Day”, observed on the 3rd Monday of August since 1999 by “Work at Home Moms” online magazine. The purpose is to encourage and support parents who have chosen to work from home in order to spend more time with their children.

1922 [92] British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC), the first national broadcasting company, is founded in London

1979 [35] At the height of the disco era, Chic’s “Good Times” hits #1 on pop charts

1922 [92] 1st ‘Caesar Salad’ is concocted in Tijuana, Mexico (named for ‘Caesar’s Restaurant’)

1960 [54] 1st ‘Birth Control Pills’ are marketed by the GD Searle Co (after clinical trials since 1954)

[Tues] Aviation Day
[Tues] World Humanitarian Day
[Tues] Photography Day
[Tues] Soft Ice Cream Day
[Wed] Medical Dosimetrist Day
[Wed] Radio Day

Aviation Week / Little League Baseball Week / Minority Enterprise Development Week


Highlight bits culled from 21 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• Buy at least one item of furniture somewhere besides a thrift shop.
• Wear a suit to something other than a wedding or funeral.
• Stop using flags as curtains.
• Finish high school.
• Own a pair of underwear your mom didn’t buy you.
• Get a job that doesn’t require a name tag and a paper hat.
– First published in “BS” 2000.

Use ’em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – Today someone may approach you with an idea. Stay well clear of it.
• Taurus – Quit worrying about your hair. It’s your breath that makes people look at you like that.
• Gemini – Relationships are a lot like tables. You can never get rid of that irritating wobble.
• Cancer – You are a shopping cart and life is one big supermarket. Now that you’re fully engrossed in that analogy, think of me as the store announcer … “Cleanup in aisle 12!”
• Leo – Regret can hurt you over the long period, so allow it to evolve into anger and retribution.
• Virgo – The future holds much joy and happiness for someone close to you. But not you … you’re screwed.
• Libra – Your mind is filled with thoughts of sexual inadequacy and … hey, maybe you’re right.
• Scorpio – A new love will present itself today. Grab it with both hands, in all possible places.
• Sagittarius – Today you will struggle to get your mind around the fact that the sun doesn’t wear a hat.
• Capricorn – No matter what anyone says, you are NOT a loser. You just … er … un-win.
• Aquarius – Today will be especially trying, so you should take precautions. Wear your “Star Trek” underwear.
• Pisces – Bad things are afoot. Can’t you smell it?
– First published in “BS” 2011.

You’re hosting a formal dinner for aristocrats in the UK. Of these 3, which should get the seat of honor?
a. Earl.
b. Baron.
c. Duke. [CORRECT. From highest to lowest in the line of peerage, the order is: Duke & Duchess, Marquis & Marchioness, Earl & Countess, Viscount & Viscountess, Baron & Baroness.]

☎ What’s your best story about meeting someone famous? Or maybe someone sorta famous.

I was at the optometrist yesterday. Guess who I bumped into? Everyone.

Question: Our grandparents barely had any, but nowadays 70% of us say we have about 40 of THESE.
Answer: Electrical outlets in the house.

Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.

Danny Creighton @ Radio 1 Dubai UAE; Phil Ord @ Pure Radio, Stockport UK; Ashley Midder @ Hot 100 [WWOT] Altoona PA; Sherry Francis @ Country 93.7 [KAIR] Atchison KS; Kelly Rhodes @ I-25 Oldies Radio [KWRP] Pueblo CO; Vedran Car @ Otvoreni Radio, Zagreb, Croatia; Curt Herberg @ Taku 105.1 [KTKU] Juneau AK; Harley James @ I105.3 [WMPI] Scottsburg IN; Jon Snyder @ 105.5 The River [KVRV] Modesto CA; and David Wright @ 2CA, Chipping Norton UK.

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