Monday, August 19, 2013        Edition: #5049

If You Can’t Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Baffle Them With Bull!

✶ Is Princess Diana’s 1997 death to be re-investigated? Scotland Yard has reportedly been passed new information by the Royal Military Police that alleges she was murdered by a soldier. The source of the claim is apparently a new witness who has come forward. The accusation makes references to Diana’s secret diary and the elite SAS branch of the British military. The Yard will investigate to see if the new info has any credibility. (Seems a new theory always arrives just ahead of her death anniversary – August 31st.)
– “Sunday Mirror”
✶ Good news for anyone already missing “30 Rock” – a new comedy from Little Stranger Productions in which Tina Fey is a partner has been snatched up by FOX-TV. The project, which was the focus of a lot of network competition, is a multi-camera comedy set at an all-women’s college, which starts accepting men at the beginning of the story. Fey will executive produce. (She’s become TV’s go-to renaissance woman.)
✶ A friend says “Big Bang Theory” actress Kaley Cuoco was overwhelmed by her relationship with “Man of Steel” star Henry Cavill and the intense scrutiny it was under, leading them to split last month after only a few weeks together. The insider says Cuoco’s not used to that much attention and chaos in her life, so she’s has now moved on to tennis player Ryan Sweeting and is much happier in a low-key romance with someone who’s ‘not an industry guy’. (Show biz people snootily refer to these types as ‘below the line’.)
– “OK! Magazine”
✶ And singer/actress Selena Gomez’ family has reportedly warned her to stay away from Justin Bieber after his bad-boy antics in the months since they split up. The 21-year-old’s mother and stepfather are said to have issued an ‘us or him’ ultimatum which is difficult for her to ignore as she wants to spend time with her new baby sister Gracie Elliot. A source says Selena’s friends are equally unimpressed with the Biebs, quote: “Her pals can’t stand him, they think he’s a loser.” (Prediction: This is gonna make him either spit or pee on something.)
– “Life & Style Magazine”

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – RNDM (“Acts”). Rerun.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – Lady Gaga (“ARTPOP”, out November 11th).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The Wanted (“Word of Mouth”, out September 23rd). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Delta Rae (“Carry the Fire”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Gretchen Wilson (“Here For the Party”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Buddy Guy (“Rhythm & Blues”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – John Mayer (“Paradise Valley”, out tomorrow).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Court Yard Hounds (“Amelita”). Rerun.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Kylie Minogue (“The Abbey Road Sessions”).

• Beady Eye – Frontman Liam Gallagher (ex-Oasis) has hired Paul McCartney’s divorce lawyer to finalize his split with Nicole Appleton (ex-All Saints). The marriage fell apart last month after reports he’d fathered a love child. He’s also said to have a new girlfriend, his personal aide Debbie Dwyther.
• Beyoncé – She was booed at Britain’s V Festival on Saturday night for taking to the stage 20 minutes late, leaving thousands of fans waiting in wet conditions. She apologized, saying: “Thank you all so much for waiting in the rain.” Beyoncé also headlined last night’s concert.
• Chris Brown – He’s now required to serve an additional 1,000 hours of community service for failing to properly report his original 1,440 hours that he was sentenced in 2009 for assaulting then-girlfriend Rihanna. He’s required to serve the additional 125 days by August 25, 2014. The work will reportedly include highway maintenance and graffiti removal.
• Florida Georgia Line – Once again, for the 24th week, the duo is atop the ‘Billboard Hot Country Songs’ chart with “Cruise”. They’re also #1 on this week’s ‘Billboard Top Country Albums’ chart with “Here’s To the Good Times”.
• Jake Owen – Tonight he’s throwing a free concert for fans as he takes the stage at a Summer Block Party in the parking lot of the BMI offices  in Nashville TN. The last-minute bash features free food from local catering companies and maybe a brewsky or two.
• Jennifer Lopez – Her boyfriend Casper Smart has accidentally confirmed she is returning to “American Idol” while promoting his own new show “A Step Away”. J-Lo is rumored to have signed a $15-million contact with FOX-TV to return to the judging panel for the 13th season.
• Kanye West – He was spotted perusing diamond-encrusted jewelry at Cartier in Beverly Hills CA on Friday. An onlooker says he was looking really carefully at wedding bands, like he was making a big decision. Although he left empty-handed he was seen handing over a credit card, presumably for a custom-made piece. His wedding to Kim Kardashian is tipped to be in Paris.
• KISS – Gene Simmons & Paul Stanley are now part-owners of the Arena Football League expansion franchise LA KISS. Named after the rockers, of course, the new team also uses the band’s iconic logo. Jon Bon Jovi was previously a co-owner of the AFL’s Philadelphia Soul.
• Robin Thicke – While the family of late Motown singer Marvin Gaye has yet to sue, he’s looking to prevent any potential dispute by asking an LA court to verify that his mega-hit “Blurred Lines” does not violate any copyright. Thicke and collaborator Pharrell Williams have made no secret that the Summer anthem was heavily influenced by Gaye’s 1977 hit “Got to Give It Up”. (Play ‘em back-to-back and it’s tough to tell when one stops and the other begins.)

London’s ‘Pestaurant’ has served up cooked critters for one-day-only. Pest control company Rentokil introduced a pop-up eatery that served BBQ mealworms, grasshoppers, and chocolate-dipped ants for free. The event was to celebrate 85 years in the business. Also on the menu: Salted weaver ants, grilled mole crickets, and salt-and-vinegar crickets. Though the edible insects may not appeal to all palates, according to the UN Food & Agriculture Organization, they are a nutritional food source that’s low in fat and rich in protein, calcium, zinc, and iron. (But don’t you hate it when the antennae get caught in your throat?)
– “The Independent”

As Summer winds down, time to prep your kid for another school year. A few tips …
✓ Start adjusting bedtime before school starts.
✓ Set your morning routine.
✓ Go see your new classroom or school.
✓ Make playdates with classmates.
✓ Make school shopping special.
✓ Fill out school forms ahead of time.
✓ Create a homework workspace.
✓ Organize closets with back-to-school clothes.
✓ Do something fun … before Summer slips away!
– Condensed from

Laying off Facebook may improve your mood. Though the site keeps you virtually connected, it can also bum you out, according to a new study from the University of Michigan. After tracking people’s online habits for 2 weeks, researchers found the more time people used Facebook, the more their short-term happiness and overall life satisfaction level decreased. On the other hand, direct social activity – like having a real-life conversation – raised a feeling of well-being. Why? Looking at photos and travel updates could make you think your friends are happier than you, leading you to overestimate your loneliness, researchers say. (Bottom line – get a life! A real life!)
– “Men’s Health”

• Climate change is altering the taste and texture of Fuji apples.
– “Smithsonian Magazine”
• Grapes hit by hailstones produce wine that tastes corked.
– “Financial Times”
• Bookshop customers are 6 times more likely to buy romance novels or cookbooks when they smell chocolate.
– “The Guardian”


1946 [67] Bill Clinton (William Jefferson Blythe III), Hope AR, 42nd US President (1993-2001)/best-selling author (“My Life”)/much sought-after speaker ($175,000 a pop)

1948 [65] Jim Carter, Harrogate UK, TV actor (‘Carson’ the butler on “Downton Abbey” since 2010)

1963 [50] John Stamos (Stamotopoulos), Cypress CA, TV actor (“Necessary Roughness” 2013, “ER” 2005-09, “Jake in Progress” 2005-06, “Full House” 1987-1995)

1965 [48] Kevin Dillon, Mamaroneck NY, TV actor (“How to Be a Gentleman” 2011-12, “Entourage” 2004-11)/brother of actor Matt Dillon  BS FACTOID: A bigscreen version of “Entourage” is rumored to be in pre-production.

1965 [48] Kyra Sedgwick, TV actress (“The Closer” 2005-12)/Mrs Kevin Bacon since 1988

1966 [47] Lee Ann Womack, Jacksonville TX, 5’-1” country singer (“I Hope You Dance”, “I’ll Think Of a Reason Later”)

1969 [44] Matthew Perry, Williamstown MA [raised Ottawa ON], TV actor (“Go On” 2012-13, “Mr Sunshine” 2011, “Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip” 2006-07, “Friends” 1994-2004)/movie actor (“17 Again”, “The Whole Nine Yards”)

1969 [44] Clay Walker, Beaumont TX, country singer (“She Won’t Be Lonely Long”, “Dreaming with My Eyes Open”)

• “Cupcake Day”, saluting those little cakes that don’t count when it comes to your diet because … well they’re just little, right? And the best kind is?

• “Afghan Independence Day”, celebrating the country of Afghanistan gaining full independence from the United Kingdom in 1919. (Only to be invaded about 87 times afterward.)

• “Aviation Day”, an annual observance honoring the 1871 birth date of Orville Wright, who piloted the first self-powered flight in history on December 17, 1903.

• “Soft Ice Cream Day”, honoring the chilly treat that’s dispensed out of a nozzle in enticing whirls onto a cone. Don’t forget to get it dipped in chocolate!

• “Stay Home With Your Kids Day”, observed on the 3rd Monday of August since 1996 to encourage and support parents who have chosen to be home with their children. For those who haven’t, it’s the perfect opportunity to take a vacation day and give serious thought to making the change.

• “World Humanitarian Day”, a UN celebration of people helping people that recognizes the sacrifices and contributions of those who risk their lives to give others help and hope.

1993 [20] Actors Alec Baldwin & Kim Basinger wed in East Hampton, New York after becoming involved on the set of romantic comedy “The Marrying Man” (after years of bickering and sniping, they divorce in 2002)

1988 [25] Elvis Presley’s “Hound Dog” is named ‘Most Played Song’ in the first 100 years of the jukebox’s existence

1909 [104] In front of 12,000 spectators, automotive engineer Louis Schwitzer wins the 2-lap, 5-mile inaugural race at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway in Indianapolis, Indiana (average speed: 57.4 mph)

1951 [62] 1st (and last) midget in Major League Baseball is used as a pinch-hitter as a publicity stunt by the St Louis Browns (3-ft, 7-in Eddie Gaedel gets a walk. “High! Ball four!”)

1962 [51] Homer Blancos records the ‘Best-Ever Score in Competitive Golf’, shooting a 55 for 18 holes (Premier Invitational Tournament in Longview TX)

[Tues] Full ‘Sturgeon’ Moon
[Tues] World Mosquito Day
[Wed] Poets Day
[Wed] Senior Citizens’ Day
[Thurs] Southern Hemisphere Hoodie Hoo Day
This Week is … Freedom of Enterprise Week
This Month Is … Foot Health Month


Highlight bits culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
The “Dollar Stretcher Newsletter” reports on the extremes some people go to in order to save a buck. Among them …
• Cutting up onion bags to use as pot scrubbers.
• Using soap instead of shaving cream.
• Buying Vaseline instead of lip balm or Chapstick.
• Reading magazines in the library instead of subscribing to them.
• Making café lattes at home with instant hot chocolate, fat-free milk, and a teaspoon of coffee.
– First published in “BS” 2003.

• “Squirrels – Satan’s Secret Army!”
• “Mummified!: The Makeup Techniques of Pam Anderson”
• “When Animals Can’t Digest Doritos”
• “Wildflowers of the Antarctic: We Got There, There Weren’t Any, But We Made a Show About it Anyway”
• “National Geographic’s Naked Fat Guys At the Beach”
• “Stuff That Was Too Boring Even for PBS”
– First published in “BS” 2008.

☎ What’s the most embarrassing text you’ve sent … to the wrong person? A few we’ve read about …
– “I want to see you naked!” … mistakenly sent from a daughter to her dad.
– “I love you.” … accidentally sent to the ex-wife instead of the girlfriend.
– “Tell the girls to go out to dinner tonight so we can have wild sex.” … sent to ‘the girls’ instead of their mom.
– “Hey babe, I’ll be over at around 10pm tonight.”  … mistakenly sent to the mother of a piano student.
– “My panties are soaked right now!” … sent to a 20-year-old son instead of his father.

I call my dog ‘Blacksmith’ because every time I have a visitor he makes a bolt for the door.

Question: The average woman now spends 17 minutes a day doing THIS.
Answer: Texting.

Any change looks terrible at first.

Melody Judge @ The Fox [KGWY] Gillette WY; Kyle Mansell @ 7 Waves Station [7WCR] Wirral UK; Dave Cowley @ QXFM 89.5 [KYQX] Weatherford TX; and Kenny Schneebeli @ LA’s Hot Country [] Los Angeles CA. Welcome, all!

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