Monday, August 24, 2015       Edition: #5522

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

★ 25-year-old Jennifer Lawrence is the world’s highest-paid movie actress according to a new ranking, raking in $52 million from all sources over the past year. That puts her ahead of all male actors as well, other than Robert Downey Jr ($80 million). Scarlett Johansson ranks 2nd among actresses ($35.5 million); #3 is Melissa McCarthy (“Spy”, “Tammy”) at $23 million; followed by China’s Fan Bingbing (“X-Men: Days of Future Past”), the only non-American on the list, with $21 million. Perhaps surprisingly, Jennifer Aniston holds down the #5 slot with $16.5 million, thanks to re-runs of “Friends”, comedy films like “Horrible Bosses” and “We’re the Millers”, plus lucrative endorsement deals with big brands.
★ A 25-year-old man has been arrested in New Jersey in connection with the disappearance of Rosie O’Donnell’s teenage daughter Chelsea earlier this month. Steven Sheerer was detained on Friday and faces charges of child endangerment and distribution of obscenity to a minor. His bail has been set at $40,000. 17-year-old Chelsea was reported missing by the comedian on August 11th after failing to return home; but she was found on August 18th following a public appeal by her mother. It’s thought that the perp was tracked down thanks to material found by police investigators on Chelsea’s phone account.
★ And the Foo Fighters have foiled a protest by the infamous Westboro Baptist Church at one of their gigs by … Rickrolling them.  The band rode out in the back of a pickup truck to meet the religious protesters outside the show at the Sprint Center in Kansas City MO, blasting out the song “Never Gonna Give You Up” by 1980s pop star Rick Astley. Frontman Dave Grohl and drummer Taylor Hawkins held up signs reading “Keep It Clean”, and “You Got Rickroll’d (again)”. The rockers foiled a previous picket by the church group in 2011 by singing “Keep It Clean” to the protesters while dressed in fake beards, wigs, and trucker hats.

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – The Warning (“The Warning”). Rerun.
• “Friends” (Comedy Central UK) – All 236 episodes of the 1994-2004 series are being aired in chronological order on weekdays beginning today in Britain.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tobias Jesso Jr (“Goon”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Synth-pop trio Years & Years (“Communion”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Neon Trees (“Pop Psychology”). Rerun.
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Jill Scott (“Woman”). Rerun.
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – The top 8 perform with contestants from past seasons, then face elimination. The 2015 cast hits the road for a tour beginning October 13th in Grand Prairie TX.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – 50 Cent (“Street King Immortal”).
• “Today” (NBC) – Rob Thomas (“The Great Unknown”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Ashley Monroe (“The Blade”); bluesman Buddy Guy. Rerun.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – TI & Tiny (“The Family Hustle”). Rerun.

• Carrie Underwood – She’s announced via Facebook that she’s releasing her 5th album, to be called “Storyteller”, on October 23rd . The new set is highlighted by her brand new single “Smoke Break”.
• Charli XCX – The “Boom Clap” singer recently completed the first leg of her North American ”Charli & Jack Do America Tour” with indie artist Bleachers, but has decided to cancel the remaining 13 tour dates because she’s “unhappy, feeling isolated, restless, and sad”. Aww.
• Cilla Black – The late Brit pop singer has soared to the top of the UK chart with her first #1 album. The re-released compilation album “The Very Best of Cilla Black” has reached the top of the Official Albums Chart three weeks after her death in Spain at age 72.
• Coldplay – Chris Martin has apparently moved on after breaking up with movie star Jennifer Lawrence for a 3rd time. The 38-year-old has reportedly been making an effort to see Brit actress Annabelle Wallis, twice visiting her on the Vancouver BC set of her new movie.
• Dr Dre – He tells “New York Times”: “I deeply regret what I did and know that it has forever impacted all of our lives.” He doesn’t offer a specific reason for the apology, but a number of women have now claimed that the 50-year-old has been violent toward them in the past.
• JoJo – The pop singer/actress makes her debut at Atlantic Records with the release of 3 new singles simultaneously under the umbrella title of “III”. The tracks “Say Love”, “Save My Soul”, and “When Love Hurts” also appear on her upcoming 3rd album.
• Miranda Lambert –  She’s gone “really blonde” again. A pic of her new ‘do on Instagram has garnered almost 100,000 likes within 24 hours. Quote: “Somethin’ ’bout platinum irrefutably looks as good on records as it does on me.”
• One Direction – “Drag Me Down” is the 1st release from the foursome’s forthcoming 5th album.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – Bassist Flea tells “Rolling Stone” he’s become a full-fledged beekeeper with over 200,000 insects in his apiary partly because he loves the little buzzers and partly in an effort to stave off the declining honeybee population.
• Taylor Swift – Friday, her first night of a 5-night stand at Staples Center in Los Angeles, LA Lakers basketball star Kobe Bryant joined her onstage to lower a banner from the rafters proclaiming her latest achievement: 16 sold-out performances at the venue, a new record.
• Wiz Khalifa – reports he’s been busted by cops for allegedly … using a hoverboard at Los Angeles International Airport. Not sure that technology is portable as yet, but Lexus has unveiled a board that indeed hovers, using superconductors, magnets, and liquid nitrogen.

A 25-meter swimming pool ‘bridge’ linking the tops of two 10-story towers is planned to be built in London UK. The pool, nicknamed ‘Sky Pool’, is touted as a world first and will feature a transparent bottom that will allow swimmers to peer down on pedestrians below from a height of 35 meters (115 ft). Eckersley O’Callaghan, a firm that’s worked with Apple on the design of its stores around-the-world, is engineering the project. The pool is part of a luxury property development called Embassy Gardens. It’s hoped the pool in the sky will be finished by the Summer of 2019. (Try not to heave while viewing an artist’s rendition below …)
– “The Guardian”

Successful male leaders have wider faces than average men, according to a new study from Rollins College in Florida. It seems wider faces make men appear more dominant, ambitious, and powerful and, as a result, better business leaders. In fact, the international business study finds there’s a strong correlation between a company’s profits and the shape of its chief executive’s face … if it’s a male. A related study at UK’s Sussex University found similar results when analyzing the faces of male executives, concluding that high levels of testosterone drive square jaws while also upping aggression and the pursuit of dominance. Scientists believe that personality traits can be determined from facial appearance and can be spotted in less than a 10th-of-a-second. (Typically, no such study has been carried out for women’s faces.)
– “The Telegraph”

Eter9 social network learns your personality so it can post your points-of-view … after you’re dead. The new site promises digital immortality using a kind of artificial intelligence to scan your posts. The site also allows you to ‘smile’ at things (similar to ‘likes’) forever. There is both a main page which works like Facebook’s newsfeed and a ‘cortex’ which resembles your Facebook profile. The technology uses computer bots called ‘Niners’ that can maintain online engagement levels while interacting with no humans at all. You can meet your social media mirror image before you die, even opt to allow it to post when you’re offline. Set up by Portuguese developer Henrique Jorge, Eter9 is still in beta testing, but already has 5,000 people signed up. If the system proves successful you can still be leaving helpful messages on friends’ pages long after you croak. (Yes, it’s the creepiest thing we’ve learned today too.)
– Radio1Newsbeat

Patti Wood is a body language & human behavior expert and the author of “Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma”. She says there are 4 distinct types of bra-wearers …
✓ If you fasten your bra at the front and then swivel it round, you’re an ‘influencer’. You like to be noticed, appreciated, and challenged. You always look your best. You get bored easily.
✓ If you wear a back-clasping bra and fasten it behind your back, you’re a ‘supporter’: You follow tradition and go along with what you’ve been taught. You’re sociable and are a good listener, but you don’t like change.
✓ If you wear a front-clasping bra, you’re a ‘driver’: You’re efficient, you don’t waste time, you get things done. But, you fear losing control.
✓ If you fasten your bra first before sliding it over your head, you’re a ‘careful corrector’. You like to do things right from the start, so you analyze a situation before making a move. And you don’t like being the focus of attention.
(Who knew? Tomorrow, how you put your jockey shorts on reveals …)
– Adapted from “Redbook”

You can’t watch “Straight Outta Compton” in Compton because it doesn’t have any cinemas. (Meaning one has to go straight out of Compton to watch “Straight Outta Compton”.)


1945 [70] Vince McMahon, Pinehurst NC, chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment since 1980 (originally World Wrestling Federation)

1973 [42] Dave Chappelle, Washington DC, comedian/TV personality (“Chappelle’s Show” 2003-05)/movie actor (“Block Party”, “Blue Streak”)

1976 [39] Alex O’Loughlin, Canberra, Australia, TV actor (‘Steve McGarrett’ on “Hawaii Five-0” since 2010)

1988 [27] Rupert Grint, Watton-at-Stone UK, movie actor (‘Ron Weasley’ in the “Harry Potter” films)

• “Peach Pie Day”, honoring the seasonal dessert made from flour, sugar, butter, and freshly-picked juicy peaches. Yummers!

• “Single-Parent Family Day”, intended as an opportunity to plan something special to do as a family because when you’re a single parent it’s hard to find time for fun & relaxation.

• “Waffle Day”, celebrating the anniversary of the invention of the ‘Waffle Iron’ by Cornelius Swartwout of Troy NY on this day in 1869. Other inventions attributed to today’s date include ‘Potato Chips’ (Chef George Crum, Saratoga Springs NY in 1853) and the ‘Motion Picture Camera’ (Thomas Edison in Menlo Park NJ, 1891). It’s no wonder August is tagged “National Inventors’ Month”.

• “Weather Cliché Day”, marking the date in 1897 when editor Charles Dudley Warner of the “Hartford Courant” published the quip, “Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.” A few common weather clichés …
✓ Hot enough for you?
✓ It’s bone-chilling cold.
✓ It’s raining cats and dogs.
✓ When it rains, it pours.
✓ The rain’s coming down in buckets.

2014 [01] Richard Attenborough, English actor (“Jurassic World”), director (“A Bridge Too Far”), and producer (“Gandhi”), dies in London at age 90

1981 [34] Mark David Chapman is sentenced in NYC to serve 20 years-to-life in prison for the assassination of music icon John Lennon (his parole attempts have failed repeatedly)

2006 [09] A meeting of 424 astronomers demotes the former planet Pluto to ‘dwarf planet status’ (it had been designated a planet since its discovery in 1930)

2011 [04] Apple CEO Steve Jobs resigns due to health issues; Tim Cook takes over as CEO

2002 [13] Petri Valta of Finland outdistances 90 other contestants from 7 countries by hurling a Nokia 5510 cellphone 219 feet to set a new world record at the Mobile Phone Throwing World Championships in Savonlinna, Finland

2012 [03] After his decision not to contest charges of doping, US cyclist Lance Armstrong learns he’s to be stripped of his record 7 Tour de France titles and banned from racing for life

[Tues] Kiss & Make Up Day
[Tues] Secondhand Wardrobe Day
[Tues] Whiskey Sour Day
[Wed] Women’s Equality Day
[Wed] Tug-of-War Day

Be Kind to Humankind Week / Return to Work Week / Safe at Home Week


Highlight bits culled from 22 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• “A Reasonable Place to Visit!”
• “More Than a Crossroads!”
• “Town in Mirror Is Smaller Than It Appears!”
• “Yours to Stumble Upon!”
• “The City That Sleeps!”
• “Don’t Blink!”
• “A Place to Gas Up!”
• “Paint the Town Beige!”
– First published in “BS” 2007.

• “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?” [“Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”]
• “Is this seat empty?” [“Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.”]
• “Your place or mine?” [“Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.”]
• “So, what’s your sign?” [“Do not enter.”]
• “How do you like your eggs in the morning?” [“Unfertilized.”]
• “Your body is like a temple.” [“Sorry, there are no services today.”]
• “I would go to the end of the world for you.” [“But would you stay there?”]
• “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.” [“If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.”]
– First published in “BS” 2001.

☎ If you had the power to hypnotize someone, who would you pick and what would you have them do?

‘Omphalomancy’ is a method of predicting the future by which?
a. Reading tea leaves.
b. Reading your navel. [CORRECT, it’s thought to reveal how many children a mother may have during her lifetime.]
c. Watching roosters.

I’m not really with it this morning. I think I just put Parmesan cheese in my coffee.

Question: There are more of THESE made in summertime than any other time.
Answer: More twins are conceived in Summer than at any other time of the year.

It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

Leon Sørensen @ Radio Limfjord, Nykøbing Mors, Denmark; Jane Goodall @ RoosterFM, Harpswell ME; Barry Simon @ B94 [CHBW] Rocky Mountain House AB; and Mike Catron @ 92.7 The Wave [WHVE] Russell Springs KY.

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