Friday, August 9, 2013        Edition: #5043


Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
✶ 44-year-old actress Jennifer Aniston & fiancé Justin Theroux are reportedly planning to wed on his 42nd birthday this Saturday. Word has it they’ve gone to extreme lengths to keep it quiet, openly lying to their friends to keep up the ruse. But some are convinced the couple is planning to exchange vows on the grounds of their new home in a surprise ceremony. Apparently it’s going to be a low-key affair with the possibility of a bigger celebration later in the year. (Not to be skeptical, but … we’ve heard these stories before.)
– “Daily Mirror”
✶ 30-year-old Amber Tamblyn has signed on to play the lesbian daughter of Charlie Sheen’s former character on the next season of CBS-TV comedy “Two-and-a-Half Men”. The former “House” actress is replacing Angus T Jones on the show. Jon Cryer’s ‘Alan Harper’ character will apparently discover his long-lost niece, the illegitimate daughter of his late brother, who has moved to LA to become an actress. (Will this make the show funnier?)
– “Hollywood Reporter”
✶ Simon Cowell is said to be giving his pregnant on-and-off girlfriend Lauren Silverman her own $15-million mansion on the Trousdale estate in Beverly Hills CA once she divorces her estranged husband Andrew. The 53-year-old star will continue to live at his own property nearby, so he can keep a close eye on 36-year-old Lauren and be directly involved in their child’s upbringing. An insider says Simon seems to give away a house every time he splits from a girlfriend. (Soon he’s going to have his own subdivision.)
– “Daily Mirror”
✶ And “Sharknado” star Ian Ziering won a cult following for his role in the Syfy-TV horror comedy about a storm that picks up killer sharks and deposits them on the streets of LA. A sequel set in the Big Apple is in the works, and this week life seemingly imitated art as a 4-ft (1.2-m) dogfish shark was found aboard a NYC subway train. Reports suggest the conductor informed passengers there was a shark aboard and ordered an evacuation. Ziering’s reaction: “Never mind the umbrella, grab your chainsaw!” (Could it be guerilla marketing?)
– NYPost.com

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – Sunday 12 acts perform in NYC. Rerun.
• “Breaking Bad” (AMC) – Sunday the final 8 episodes of the mega-popular series begin airing, followed weekly by the post-episode chat show “Talking Bad”. Bryan Cranston is back as cancer-ridden chemistry teacher-turned-drug lord ‘Walter White’.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Kenny Chesney (“Life On a Rock”).
• “Hell on Wheels” (AMC) – Saturday the 2-hour 3rd season debut of the Western adventure series.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Angel Haze (“New York”); Big Black Delta (“Big Black Delta”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Earl Sweatshirt (“Doris”, out August 20th).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Darius Rucker (“True Believers”). Rerun.
• “Live From Lincoln Center” (PBS) – Saturday Josh Groban performs hits from his 12-year career.
• “Low Winter Sun” (AMC) – Sunday the debut of a new drama series starring Mark Strong & Lennie James, based on a British mini-series of the same name. The tale of deception, revenge, and corruption starts with the murder of a cop by a fellow Detroit MI detective.
• Outside Lands Festival (San Francisco CA) – The impressive lineup for the 6th annual 3-day event in Golden Gate Park includes The National, Nine Inch Nails, Paul McCartney, Phoenix, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Vampire Weekend and many more.
NET: http://www.sfoutsidelands.com/home
• Rockstar Energy Drink Uproar Festival – Tonight the 4th annual music & lifestyle tour gets underway in Scranton PA. On the bill: Alice In Chains, Coheed & Cambria, Danko Jones, Jane’s Addiction and others. The trek wraps September 15th in Irvine CA.
NET: http://www.rockstaruproar.com
• “Teen Choice 2013” (FOX) – Sunday Darren Criss (“Glee”) & Lucy Hale (“Pretty Little Liars”) host the annual awards for teen icons. Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, and Taylor Swift lead music nominations with 3 apiece, followed by Bruno Mars, Justin Bieber, and Pitbull with 2.
NET: http://www.teenchoiceawards.com
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning Michael Bublé (“To Be Loved”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight KT Tunstall (“Invisible Empire/Crescent Moon”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today Tony Bennett (“Viva Duets”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – She’s shared snaps of her dramatic new ‘pixie’ cropped haircut on Instagram.
• Justin Bieber –  “New York Daily News” reports he left with 2 cocktail waitresses after that nightclub brawl last week on Long Island. One was 24, the other … ahem, 32.
• Kings of Leon – Tonight Fred Armisen (“Saturday Night Live”, “Portlandia”) directs their live webcast from Shepherd’s Bush in London. The gig is being streamed on YouTube and VEVO.
• Lady Gaga – She’s thanked performance artist Marina Abramovic for working on her new album “ARTPOP” by stripping naked in a video. The clip is aimed at raising funds for the Marina Abramovic Institute, dedicated to the preservation of the performing arts.
• Rihanna – She’s reportedly being sued for refusing to pay a $150,000 funeral bill for her grandmother Dolly Braithwaite, who died of cancer a year ago in Barbados. The lawsuit says the singer claimed the bill was exorbitant and paid only a quarter of the total owing.
• Robin Thicke – He started off his career writing songs for other artists. Among them: Christina Aguilera’s “When You Put Your Hands on Me”; Marc Anthony’s  “When I Dream at Night”; Jordan Knight’s “Give It to You”; and Color Me Badd’s “Sexual Capacity”.
• Usher – He’s formally thanked 2 men who dove into his swimming pool to rescue his son Monday when the boy’s hand got stuck in a drain. Usher’s babysitter aunt and a maid had been unsuccessful. 5-year-old Usher Raymond V is recovering in an Atlanta GA hospital.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Elysium” ( R-Rated Sci-Fi Thriller ): “District 9” director Neill Blomkamp’s new futuristic thriller is set in year 2154, when the very wealthy live on a manmade space station while the rest of the population resides on a ruined Earth. Matt Damon plays the hero who takes on a mission to bring equality to the polarized worlds. Co-stars Jodie Foster, Sharlto Copley.
NET: http://www.itsbetterupthere.com/site/
• “Planes” ( PG Animated Adventure ): Disney’s new kin to “Cars” centers on ‘Dusty’, a crop-dusting plane who dreams of competing in a famous aerial race. Unfortunately, he’s hopelessly afraid of heights. With the support of his mentor ‘Skipper’ he sets off to make his dreams come true. Voice cast includes Dane Cook, Stacy Keach, Brad Garrett.
NET: http://movies.disney.com/planes/
• Opening in limited release: “Chennai Express” (Romantic Comedy); “I Give It a Year” (Romantic Comedy); “In a World … (Comedy); “Lovelace” (Bio-Drama); “Off Label” (Documentary); and “Prince Avalanche” (Dramedy).

FAKE BOOZE IS BIG:
The alcohol-free booze market has become big biz in Iran, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, and the United Arab Emirates where alcohol is forbidden. Consumption is particularly rising among young and fashionable Muslims in their desire to be a part of the glamorized image of free and frolicking revelers. The Middle East now accounts for nearly one-third of worldwide sales in non-alcoholic booze. But a shift to alcohol-free drinks is also being seen elsewhere, including a Chicago-area bar catering to recovering addicts, and a late-night lounge in Dublin that’s committed to ‘making sober sexy’. (What’s the best non-alcohol beer?)
– “The Economist”

RENT-A-BOOB:
A French woman offering to breast-feed the babies of gay couples has placed an ad asking 100 euros-a-day ($130) for up to 10 servings. The ad is aimed at same-sex couples, who’ve been able to legally marry and adopt children in France since May. The woman is a 29-year-old nurse who says she’s a young mother in perfect health. So far, she’s received more than a dozen requests, half of them serious, the rest from perverts. Interestingly, it’s illegal in France to sell maternal milk but this is a personalized service, so there’s no issue. (Our customers suck!)
– Reuters.com

FRESH FLORETS ARE BEST:
Frozen broccoli lacks the key cancer-fighting properties contained in fresh broccoli, a new University of Illinois study has found. That’s because blanching the broccoli at high heat as part of the flash-freezing process removes its cancer-fighting enzyme. But not all is lost when it comes to frozen broccoli. The cancer-fighting compound can be unlocked in both its frozen and cooked state when paired with other foods that contain the enzyme. For example, you can team frozen broccoli with raw radishes, cabbage, arugula, watercress, horseradish, spicy mustard or wasabi to give the bioactive compounds a kickstart. (Brocolli and horseradish … ick!)
– AFP

THE WIRED WRIST:
A patent filing for Samsung’s new ‘Galaxy Gear’ smartwatch design shows that it includes a flexible screen that curves around the wrist. Analysts are divided about how much demand there might be for the gizmo. One predicts they’ll become the most important new product category in consumer electronics since the iPad, with sales exploding to 5 million units in 2014; but another claims only a minority of polled consumers have any interest. The poll finds the most popular smartwatch app would be having caller ID right on your wrist. Samsung has yet to announce a launch date for its watch. (One potential use … playbook for NFL QBs.)
– TechCrunch.com

BIG STINK BEATS BIG C:
Eating raw garlic can prevent cancer, a new Chinese study suggests. The results show that those who consume raw garlic at least twice a week cut the risk of lung cancer by 44%. Even smokers who consume garlic twice weekly are at 30% lower risk. The key ingredient appears to be a chemical called allicin, released when the garlic clove is crushed or chopped. At this point, it’s unclear whether cooked garlic has the same effect. (And you thought your smoker’s breath was bad … try raw garlic and see how fast you can clear out a room!)
– CBC.ca

DID YOU KNOW?
Urine can be used to charge a mobile phone. In experiments, just a half-liter produced enough power to make a 6-minute phone call and send several texts … not such a waste after all.
– “Herald Scotland”

BS CHRONOMETER 08.09.13


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1968 [45] Eric Bana (Banadinović), Melbourne, Australia, movie actor (“Star Trek”, “Munich”)

1968 [45] Sam Fogarino, Philadelphia PA, rock drummer (Interpol-“The Heinrich Maneuver”, “Slow Hands”)

1970 [43] Arion Salazar, Oakland CA, alt-rock musician (Third Eye Blind-“Jumper”, “Semi-Charmed Life”)

1976 [37] Jessica Capshaw, Columbia MO, TV actress (‘Dr Arizona Robbins’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2009)

1976 [37] Audrey Tautou, Beaumont, France, movie actress (“Coco Avant Chanel”, “The Da Vinci Code”)

1985 [28] Anna Kendrick, Portland ME, movie actress (“The Twilight Saga”, “Up In the Air”)

SATURDAY –
Movie actress Rosanna Arquette (“Pulp Fiction”) is 54; Movie actor Antonio Banderas (“Shrek”) is 53.

SUNDAY –
Apple Computer co-founder Steve Wozniak is 63; Wrestler-TV personality Hulk Hogan is 60; TV actress Anna Gunn (“Breaking Bad”) is 45; Rock singer Ben Gibbard (Death Cab For Cutie, The Postal Service) is 37; Movie actor Chris Hemsworth (“The Avengers”) is 30; Rock guitarist Heath Fogg (Alabama Shakes) is 29; Rapper Asher Roth (“I Love College”) is 28.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Book Lovers Day”. No matter where you are, you’re never alone … as long as you have a book. Is reading as good when using a Kindle or iPad?
• “Hand-Holding Day”, set aside to celebrate one of the oldest expressions of reassurance and affection. Everybody has their preferred technique: Some like interlocking, others cupping or the pinky-link. Some prefer being on top, others the bottom … some swing both ways.
• “International Art Appreciation Day”, an annual worldwide celebration of artwork.
• “International Day of Indigenous People”, as declared by the UN. But is there really such a thing? Weren’t all people originally wanderers?
• “Kool-Aid Days”, the annual weekend celebration of the soft drink mix originally made in Hastings, Nebraska. Edwin E Perkins first marketed the stuff in 1927 in 6 flavors (raspberry, cherry, grape, lemon, orange, and root-beer).
NET: http://www.kool-aiddays.com
• “Rice Pudding Day”, celebrating the tasty treat that combines rice, milk, sugar, cinnamon, and raisins. And what’s your secret ingredient? Rum?

SATURDAY –
• “Elvis Week 2013” begins with his Memphis mansion Graceland offering a raft of events to perpetuate the legend. Activities include a tribute artist contest and memorial service.
NET: http://www.elvis.com/elvisweek/
• “Garage Sale Day”, saluting a North American institution on what’s likely to be a popular day for garage/yard sales. For argument’s sake, if you put a dollar-value on all your time taken to  prepare and then clean-up after a sale … would it really be worthwhile?
• “Lazy Day”, a day to take it easy. Just another day around here.
• “S’Mores Day” celebrating one of our favorite campfire treats. Here’s the complicated directions – toast marshmallows over campfire, then place them on graham cracker with piece of chocolate. Take second graham cracker and smush it on top. Inhale.
• “Smithsonian Day”, celebrating the series of Washington DC museums that form the Smithsonian Institution, basically ‘America’s Attic’. It was created on this date in 1846.

SUNDAY –
• “Dog Days of Summer” end, traditionally the hottest days of the year in the Northern Hemisphere. Ahhh!
• “Play In the Sand Day”, which seemed like a harmless fun activity … until some fear-monger researcher recently warned there may be health and safety implications.
• “Sons & Daughters Day”, a day to pay special tribute to offspring. If they’re teenagers they’ll no doubt respond, “Yeah right … whatever.”

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2002 [11] Elvis Presley’s daughter Lisa Marie weds actor Nicolas Cage (who played an Elvis-impersonator in 1992’s “Honeymoon in Vegas”), an ill-advised union that lasts 4 months

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1995 [18] Grateful Dead frontman Jerry Garcia dies of a heart attack in a Forest Knolls, California rehab facility at age 53

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1955 [58] 1st “Guinness Book of World Records” is published (back when the record for doughnut eating was … 1)

COMING UP . . .
[Mon] “CMA Music Festival: Country’s Night to Rock” (ABC)
[Mon] International Youth Day
[Mon] Vinyl Record Day
[Tues] “Eric Clapton’s Crossroads Guitar Festival 2013” plays in movie theaters
[Tues] International Lefthanders’ Day
This Week Is … Feeding Pets Of the Homeless Week
This Month Is … Water Quality Month

BULL’S BITS


WORST KINDS OF PEOPLE AT THE GROCERY STORE:
Some of the annoying types who can ruin your supermarket shopping experience …
✗ The Shadow – Seems to be in every aisle you visit, then ends up in the same checkout lane.
✗ The Blocker – Whatever you want to look at, either he or his abandoned shopping cart is directly in the way.
✗ The Sampler – Digs a germy hand into the bulk bins for ‘just a taste’. Icky!
✗ The Wild Things – Out-of-control kids, with an oblivious parent who let’s them run wild.
✗ The Extreme Couponer – She may get $150 of groceries for 12¢, but no one wants to be stuck behind her at a cash register.
✗ The Barger – When the cashier at the next checkout yells “I’ll take the next in line!”, she barges right in even though she was 5 people behind you.
✗ The Cheapskate – Makes the cashier price-check every single item twice, insisting it’s on sale. Then has to count out the exact change … excruciatingly slowly.
✗ The Forgetter – Holds up everyone in the middle of checking out in order to run off and get 1 more item.
– Adapted from iVillage.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Give a man a fire and he’s warm for a day, but set a man afire and he’s warm for the rest of his life!

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Which is the funniest number? According to the “Scientific American” blog ‘Curious’, prime candidates include 69, 13, and 22. (We say zero, especially if you say it ZEEE-ro.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Over half of us prefer to use THIS old-fashioned item over it’s hi-tech replacement.
Answer: Paper towel versus forced-air hand-dryer.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full public view.


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