Wednesday, August 9, 2017 – Edition: #6030

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

★ According to those who claim to know, Chris Pratt and Anna Faris are going their separate ways NOT because of some third party in their marriage, NOT because one of them did something unforgivable … they split because they  have very different views of what their family should be. Sources say Anna wants a family that is pretty much together most of the time. She wants a base…and more kids…basically a traditional family.  Pratt, on the other hand, is said to want to shoot movies in far-flung places around the globe, and does not want more children.
★ It has come out that ‘Game of Thrones’ costume designers use IKEA rugs to make furry capes. Despite its success, the series runs a tight budget, so to make the warm outfits worn by members of the ‘Night’s Watch’, producers use carpets from the popular furniture and furnishings retailer. The rugs are cut, shaved, and dyed before being subjected to a breakdown process to make them look worn-in.
(But did they have to assemble them?)
★ Mama June’s daughter Pumpkin is going to be a mom. Lauryn ‘Pumpkin’ Shannon, the 17-year-old daughter of June, announced she’s pregnant in a promo for Season 2 of June’s WE tv series, ‘Mama June: From Not to Hot’.
★ Jodie Whittaker calls the fact that she won the lead role in ‘Doctor Who’….“emotional”.  As she puts it: “I’m about to play an alien, a time lord. And that as a girl? Who knew? That’s incredible”.  Whittaker says that growing up, this type of role was never “in the realm of possibility, ever.”
★ For the first time in 16 years, Jessica Alba is living in a ‘dogless home’. The actress, who is expecting her third child, shared the sad news this week that her dog Bowie had died. Making the sting even sharper was the fact that she had just said goodbye to her other dog, Sid, who was 16, less than two weeks ago. The female dogs were named after David Bowie and Sid Vicious.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jim Parsons, Damson Idris, the War on Drugs
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Brie Larson, Marlon Wayans, Brett Eldredge
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Robert Pattinson, David Tennant, Niecy Nash
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Colin Jost, Michael Che, Brian Knappenberger, Venzella Joy
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Elizabeth Olsen, Maya Rudolph, James Blunt
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV): Joseph Fiennes, No Parents, Chris Shiflett, Eugene Mirman ( R )
• “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy): “Trump’s Best, Smartest People: Such Great People”
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Wesley Snipes, Louie Anderson
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Billy Eichner, Bridget Everett
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Jessica Alba,, Gary Vaynerchuk ( R )
• “The Talk” (CBS): Lisa Kudrow, Jason Kennedy ( R )
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Brie Larson, Rick Fox, guest co-host Eva Longoria
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kerry Washington, Scott Speedman, Florida Georgia Line, Backstreet Boys ( R )
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX): Harry Connick Jr., David Burtka ( R )
• “Harry” (NBC/CTV): Malin Ackerman, Clive Standen ( R )
• “The Real” (FOX): Cornelius Smith Jr. ( R )
• “Big Brother” (CBS): House guests vie for the power of veto.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): “Road to Finals” A look back at the best moments of Season 12.

• Neil Young – plans to makes everything he has ever recorded available online for streaming on his new high-quality ‘Xstream’ service.  Not only will it be updated as he records in the future, but fans will be able to access credits, artwork and information on the sessions, plus extras such as videos, films, press coverage and other memorabilia.
• Journey – rumors of a split abound with guitarist Neil Schon rebuking other members for visiting Donald Trump at the White House and supposedly threatening to tour without him.  Schon is the only remaining founding member.
• Katy Perry – in addition to hosting, she is among the stars set to perform at the MTV Video Music Awards.  Also set to sing are Miley Cyrus, Ed Sheeran, Fifth Harmony, Lorde, The Weeknd, Thirty Seconds to Mars, and Shawn Mendes.  More performers will be announced in the next few weeks.  The VMAs are August 27.
• Beyonce – hails the late Prince has an ”icon” in her foreword to the book ‘Prince: A Private View’.  According to Bey, the word ”icon” is the only one he can think of to describe him.
• Robbie Williams – blames monogamous marital sex for his recent weight gain. Since tying the knot with American actress Ayda Field in 2010, he has gained a few pounds, and  jokes his new rounder frame is due to the fact he is now eating cake instead of having sex with strangers.
• Adam Levine – says Joe Jonas is a ”beautiful man” and jokes that his reason for inviting the DNCE star to appear on ‘The Voice’ was ”purely shallow”.
• Courtney Love – has apparently avoided a deposition appearance deciding who is the rightful owner of her late husband Kurt Cobain’s $1 million guitar.  Last July, Love’s daughter Frances Bean Cobain accused her estranged husband Isaiah Silva of stealing the Nirvana frontman’s instrument following their split.  Silva claims Love failed to respond to the investigators he hired to hand her the necessary deposition papers on two occasions.
• Liam Gallagher ***DISCRETION*** – has no interest in singing his hits on ‘Carpool Karaoke’ with James Corden, because, in his insightful words,  he doesn’t want to harmonize with a ”knob head”.
•  Brad Paisley – a preview is available for his Netflix comedy special.  ‘Brad Paisley’s Comedy Rodeo’, featuring Nate Bargatze, John Heffron, Sarah Tiana, Mike E. Winfield and Jon Reep … with a special appearance by David Hasselhoff, will debut on the streaming platform in mid-August.
• Tim McGraw & Faith Hill – A concert special called ‘Tim &Faith: Soul2Soul’ is on the way. It  was shot over the summer during their sold-out tour and includes live performances as well as behind-the-scenes footage. Look for it November 19 on Showtime.  It will also air on demand.

Here’s something new to worry about!  It turns out that germophobes may have been right all along about the whole birthday cake thing.  Research has found that blowing out the candles on a birthday cake  produces 1,400 percent more bacteria in cake icing than are found in icing not blown on.  A study by the Journal of Food Research found that when someone blows out the candles on their birthday cake, they leave behind more than 2,000 “moisture particles” on the cake, each one large enough to carry bacteria and viruses.  Now that we are all thoroughly turned off birthday cake forever and ready to click the ‘no’ box on the RSVP for little snot-nosed Billy’s birthday party next week, you will be happy to know that a co-author of the study points out that “It’s not a big health concern” and “if you did this 100,000 times, then the chance of getting sick would probably be very minimal.”
(Still gross, though…)
(At co-hosts) age, I would think that the heat from the candles would take care of the germs!)
(What’s especially nice to see is when it is a young child who is just learning to blow out candles…and they always seem to try with a mouth full of chicken nuggets…)
(So sorry, Anna Kendrick, I won’t be able to share your birthday cake with you today…)

When Apple releases iOS 11 this Fall, users will find a new feature prompting them to activate a ‘do not disturb while driving’ mode, which will prevent any notifications from appearing on the screen while its owner is driving.  Why?  To keep us from looking at our smartphones when we are supposed to be looking at the road.  If you ‘forget’ to turn it on, the phone figures out that it is in moving vehicle anyway, thanks to its motion sensors, GPS and WiFi systems. Trying to ‘unlock’ the phone will be purposely difficult to do while driving, but easy if you’re an innocent passenger.  The software can also ping a simple reply to anyone who messages the driver. For example, an automated “I’m driving right now and will get back to you later”.   A similar Android app already exists.
(Great idea, but I’m not so sure about the ‘making it difficult to unlock while driving’ part.  Because you know some idiots will try!)
(I think this is going to cause a LOT of arguments with Siri!)

Use ‘em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Leo – While it is true that all-knowing God sees every sparrow that falls, He finds it a lot more amusing to watch you tumble down the stairs a couple times a week.
• Aries – Scientists will announce the discovery of sunspots spelling out your name this week just to see if they can get you to stare at the sun all day.
• Taurus – This week’s revelations will be especially mortifying for you, seeing as you’ve been insisting for years that life is not some sort of big pie-eating contest.
• Gemini – They say that knowing is half the battle, but they never talk about how the other half is tactical deployment and careful use of grenades.
• Cancer – You’ll suddenly be torn away from your friends and cast out of the only home you’ve ever known by the authorities, who insist your sentence is over and you’re free to go.
• Virgo – This week is be a time of magical romance and unending joy for you, thanks to your boundless talent for self-delusion.
• Libra – You’re going to need a lot of epsom salts and lip balm this week. No, honestly, you can trust us. This isn’t like that time with the horse laxatives.
• Scorpio – After years of trying to cultivate a gruff-but-lovable persona, you’ve at least got the gruff part perfected.
• Sagittarius – People are free to think whatever they want, but you’re pretty sure the parking-lot attendant guys were the real heroes of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
• Capricorn – You’ll be diagnosed with a rare condition that makes it impossible for you to get started in the morning unless you have, like, three cups of coffee.
• Aquarius – In a complete reversal of conventional wisdom, you’ll find that you do in fact have to be crazy to work at your job, and that no, it doesn’t help.
• Pisces – There will be nothing you can do to avert the disaster of this week, although there will be plenty that a reasonably bright and competent person could do.
–Adapted from TheOnion



1944 [73] Sam Elliot, Sacramento, CA, movie actor (“Tombstone”, “Mask”, “Roadhouse”) COMING UP: “A Star Is Born”, 2018

1968 [49] Gillian Anderson, Chicago, IL, TV actress (‘Dana Scully’ on “The X-Files” 1993-2002, since 2016,  ‘Stella Gibson’ on “The Fall” 2013-2016) COMING UP: “Crooked House”, 2018

1968 [49] Eric Bana (Banadinović), Melbourne, Australia, movie actor (“Hulk”, “Munich”) COMING UP: “The Forgiven” 2017

1970 [47] Arion Salazar, Oakland CA, alt-rock musician (Third Eye Blind-“Jumper”, “Semi-Charmed Life” 1994-2006)

1976 [41] Jessica Capshaw, Columbia MO, TV actress (‘Dr Arizona Robbins’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2009)

1985 [32] Anna Kendrick, Portland ME, movie actress (“Pitch Perfect” films, “The Twilight Saga”) COMING UP: “Pitch Perfect 3” 2017

• “Book Lovers Day”. No matter where you are, you’re never alone … as long as you have a book. Is reading as good when using a Kindle or iPad?

• “Hand-Holding Day”, set aside to celebrate one of the oldest expressions of reassurance and affection. Everybody has their preferred technique: Some like interlocking, others cupping or the pinky-link. Some prefer being on top, others the bottom … some swing both ways.

• “International Day of Indigenous People”, as declared by the UN.  There are an estimated 370 million indigenous people in the world, living across 90 countries.  The 2017 Theme is The 10th Anniversary of the UN Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples.

• “Rice Pudding Day”, celebrating the tasty treat that combines rice, milk, sugar, cinnamon, and raisins. And what’s your secret ingredient? Rum?

• “Polka Day”, celebrating the fast-paced duet dance form is said to have originated in the 1800s in Bohemia.  (Really, it is possible to be sad when a polka is being played??)

[Thurs] Lazy Day
[Thurs] S’mores Day
[Thurs] Smithsonian Day
[Fri] Annual Medical Checkup Day
[Fri] Play in the Sand Day
[Fri] Kool-Aid Day

2002 [15] Elvis Presley’s daughter Lisa Marie weds actor Nicolas Cage (who played an Elvis-impersonator in 1992 s “Honeymoon in Vegas”), an ill-advised union that lasts 4 months

2015 [02] Former NFL star and long-time “Monday Night Football” sportscaster Frank Gifford dies at age 84 (husband of TV personality Kathie Lee Gifford)

1986 [31] An audience of 120,000 watches Queen play their last live concert with Freddie Mercury at the Knebworth Park Festival in Hertfordshire, England (encore includes “We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions” and “God Save the Queen”)

1955 [62] 1st “Guinness Book of World Records” is published (back when the record for hot dog eating was … 1)   **BS FUN FACT**:  The Guinness Book of World Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from libraries.


• Botanically speaking, the banana is an herb and the tomato is a fruit.
• An onion, apple and potato all have the same taste. Their differences in flavor are caused by their smell.
• Watermelons are 97% water, lettuce 97%, tomatoes 95%, carrots 90%, and bread 30%.
• The can opener was invented 48 years after cans were introduced.
• The pull-ring tab was invented in 1962 and the stay-on tab was invented in 1974.
• 25 million trees are chopped down in China annually to make chopsticks.

• After an hour of bending, jumping and twisting at the gym, your leotard is on, but aerobics class is over.
• You need to rest after using an escalator.
• Not even your arms fit into your skinny jeans.
• Your fat pants… are now just your pants.
• Napping makes you tired.
• You buy a car based only on the size of the front seat.
• You are willing to watch whatever is on tv… rather than try to find the lost remote.
• Your back goes out more than you do.
• The drive-thru staff recognize your voice before you drive through.
• You hate the song ‘Shape of You’.
-Adapted from Twitter

Today is the first day of what’s left of the rest of your life.

• What animal has killed the most people?
a. Hippo [CORRECT]
b. Bear
c. Lion

• What does the butterfly use to taste things?
a. Mouth
b. Wing
c. Feet [CORRECT]
– DidYouKnow/TheFactSite

☎ What offensive thing does your co-worker do while on the job?

Question:  According to a recent survey, the average parent has 15 of THESE per day. What is it?
Answer: Minutes of Free Time

Your vibe attracts your tribe.

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