Thursday, February 19, 2015       Edition: #5401

Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!

★ Anybody thinking there’s still a chance that John Oliver might get the soon-to-be-vacant host gig on Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show” when Jon Stewart moves on can forget about it. HBO has just locked down Oliver for at least 2 more seasons on the his show “Last Week Tonight”. It’s probably no coincidence that HBO re-upped Oliver just a week after news broke that Stewart would be retiring. Oliver left his correspondent gig on “The Daily Show” in 2013.
★ Moviegoers seeing the “SpongeBob SquarePants” sequel at a California drive-in theater may also get a view of whips, chains, and BDSM. The WestWind Solano Drive-In in Concord CA is showing “Fifty Shades of Grey” right next to “The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water”. The unusual pairing is making for some awkward moments for parents with kids checking out the animated family film because “Fifty Shades” is totally visible just across the parking lot. This Tuesday, by the way, was ‘Family Night’.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ And the set of “Spectre”, the new ‘James Bond’ film, has been the scene of another injury after a runaway camera truck crashed into a barn this week. 2nd Unit Assistant Director Terry Madden suffered multiple fractures due to the accident while filming in Solden, Austria. The news comes a week after the movie’s star, Daniel Craig, injured his knee while shooting a fight scene. A planned stunt sequence in central London was scrapped last week to allow Craig time to fully recover. The production schedule has subsequently been re-worked.

• “American Idol” (FOX) – The final performances take place at the House of Blues; the top 24 contestants are revealed.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Gorgon City f/Jennifer Hudson (“Sirens”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Hundred Waters (“Moon Rang Like a Bell”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Mikky Ekko (“Time”).
• “The Odd Couple” (CBS) – Debut of a remake of the classic sitcom (and movie) about 2 divorced men who become roommates even though they’re polar opposites – one a complete slob, the other fastidiously tidy. Stars Matthew Perry (“Friends”) & Thomas Lennon (“Reno 911!”). It’s already been savaged by critics before the 1st episode even airs.
• “Queen Latifah” (syndicated) – Jon Secada (“I’m Never Too Far Away”).
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Jazmine Sullivan (“Reality Show”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Melissa Manchester (“You Gotta Love the Life”).
• “Two-And-a-Half Men” (CBS) – The hour-long series finalé marks the 262nd episode. After 12 seasons, it’s time to say goodbye to the longest-running live-action sitcom currently on TV.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Rock & Roll Hall of Fame pop duo Hall & Oates.

• Amy Winehouse – She’s still earning millions after her death. The late Brit singer’s company, Cherry Westfield Ltd, recorded a profit of £1.4 million ($2.2 million) last year, according to figures obtained by “The Sun”.
• Calvin Harris – The Scottish DJ appears in the new Emporio Armani ad campaign, showing off his impressive physique while posing in a number of sultry black & white shots in briefs designed by the luxury label.
• Carly Rae Jepsen – This week on the streets of NYC she shot the music video for her upcoming single “I Really Like You”. It features a herd of Broadway dancers, pop star Justin Bieber, and … 58-year-old actor Tom Hanks (?!?!?).
• Kanye West – Veteran singer/songwriter Michael McDonald (Doobie Bros) has urged the rapper to learn to play a musical instrument and to write “two bars of valid music” before he stoops to criticizing Beck’s Grammy Awards win.
• Kid Rock – Whether or not you like his music, you gotta love his pricing. He’s announced he’s reprising last year’s ‘$20 Ticket Tour’ this Summer, beginning June 24th in Hartford CT. His new album, “First Kiss”, is out Tuesday. Special guest on the cheap ticket trek will be Foreigner.
• Oasis – Liam Gallagher’s child support battle is heading to trial after he failed to show up for another hearing in NYC. The former Oasis rocker was recently fined $5,000 for failing to appear at hearings relating to his legal tussle with journalist Liza Ghorbani, the mother of his love child.
• Pharrell Williams – As if creating the earworm tune wasn’t bad enough, he’s now signed to write a picture book inspired by his mega-hit “Happy”. Putnam Books for Young Readers is publishing 250,000 copies on September 22nd. It’s the 1st of a series of 4 picture books in all.
• Taylor Swift – Her re-bonding with Kanye West appears to be going well as they’ve been spotted dining together at the Spotted Pig in NYC’s West Village. The pair, who arrived and left the restaurant separately, are said to be in talks over some sort of musical collaboration.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Pirates Of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” – This week the latest “Pirates” film has begun production in Queensland, Australia. The 5th film in the franchise pits Johnny Depp’s ‘Captain Jack Sparrow’ vs Javier Berdem’s villainous ‘Captain Salazar’. Orlando Bloom is also returning to the series after skipping the 4th episode. The film’s slated to open in July 2017.
• “The Psychopath Test” – No deal is yet done but actress Scarlett Johansson is said to be very interested in starring in this upcoming screen adaptation of the 2011 Jon Ronson book, “The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry”. The story follows a medical community that tries to diagnose and classify individuals who may or may not be psychopaths.
• “The Sculptor” – Sony Pictures has bought movie rights to Scott McCloud’s recently published graphic novel. The story centers on a young man who has made a deal with ‘Death’ to sculpt anything he can imagine with his bare hands. Complications arise when he meets the love of his life, with just 200 days to live. “The Sculptor” was published on February 3rd.
• “Suicide Squad” – “Robocop” star Joel Kinnaman is in early negotiations to replace Tom Hardy as ‘Rick Flagg’ in the much-anticipated superhero movie. Hardy recently stepped down from the role as the comic book ‘Squad’ leader. The film will feature Will Smith as ‘Deadshot’, Margot Robbie as ‘Harley Quinn’, and Jared Leto as ‘The Joker’.
• “X-Men: Apocalypse” – 18-year-old Kodi Smit-McPhee (“Dawn Of the Planet Of the Apes”) has been cast as a young ‘Nightcrawler’ in Bryan Singer’s next ‘X-Men’ installment opposite Jennifer Lawrence, Nicholas Hoult, and Michael Fassbender. ‘Nightcrawler’ is a mutant with adhesive hands and feet and the ability to teleport. The film is due in theaters in May 2016.

The automaker that’s experimenting with self-cleaning car paint now has another new gimmick … the glow-in-the-dark car. Nissan’s European operation says it is now experimenting with a product called Starpath, a coating that absorbs solar rays during the day and then glows for 8-to-10 hours after the sun goes down. It’s been demonstrating the results on an electric Nissan Leaf. It’s thought the special paint job will last on vehicles car for up to 25 years. Last year the company demonstrated a new paint that can shed dirt and grease. Nissan says it doesn’t yet have plans for mass production of either innovation. (Wouldn’t it be better if the actual car would last 25 years?)
– “USA Today”

‘Barbie’ is having a digital makeover, with the release of an Internet-connected version of the iconic doll. Mattel is partnering with start-up company ToyTalk to develop “Hello Barbie”, an online companion to the doll which will be interactive thanks to a speech-recognition platform. A spokeswoman for Mattel says: “The #1 request we hear from girls around-the-world is that they want to have a conversation with Barbie. Now, for the first time ever, Barbie can have a 2-way conversation.” The “Hello Barbie” will be able to play interactive games and tell stories and jokes. The doll requires a wi-fi connection and can provide an hour’s worth of playtime when fully charged. It’s expected to sell for about $74.99. No release date has yet been confirmed.

Some things are better left up to professionals. Arguably, these are among them …
• Pest control.
• Haircuts.
• Coloring your hair.
• Painting your home.
• Teaching yourself a new sport.
• Baking a cake for an important event.
• Home construction projects.
• Bike tricks.
• Tree removal.
• Income taxes.
– Adapted from

The ‘selfie stick’, our culture’s deserved wand of idiocy, has popped up on every street, in every venue, and at every cultural event since its entrance into the despicable-lowbrow quadrant of the Zeitgeist. But now, thanks to some savvy rule-makers at museums, it will no longer be tolerated. The main complaint is that the clunky metal rods invade the personal space of other art-admirers. The Hirshhorn Museum & Sculpture Garden in Washington DC first prohibited the sticks this month; the Museum of Fine Arts in Houston TX plans to soon impose a ban; and in NYC, the Metropolitan Museum of Art has just decided that it, too, will forbid selfie sticks. New signs will be posted soon. (To really enhance the museum experience, ban the phones on the end of the stick as well!)
– Sourced from

In what may be this week’s best example of modern idiocy, a Russian travel company has announced it will begin offering escorted trips to war-torn areas of eastern Ukraine. Up until now the Megapolis Kurort Company specialized in wellness holidays within Russia, but it’s decided to branch out into ‘extreme travel’. On the itinerary will be the self-proclaimed republics of Donetsk and Luhansk, both rebel strongholds where fighting between pro-Russian separatists and Ukrainian forces has been fierce. A special armored vehicle for 5-to-7 people is being prepared for the trips, and security guards will accompany each group. Unbelievably, 10 people have already expressed an interest. The trip will take about 4 days and cost $2,000-to-$3,000. (Souvenir body parts extra. Buy a finger!)
– @NewsfromElsewhere

A new world record has been set in Japan for ‘Most Snowmen Built in 1 Hour’. More than 600 people helped smash the old record by making 1,585 snowmen in the city of Iiyama, north-west of Tokyo. To qualify, snow people had to be over 3 ft (91 cm) tall, plus have facial features and ornamental arms. Guinness World Records confirms Iiyama has beaten the previous record of 1,279. Earlier this month in the Canadian capital of Ottawa, 1,299 snowmen were built in 60 minutes, but it wasn’t officially confirmed.
– Kyodo News Agency

Globally only about 3% of airline pilots are women, that’s about 4,000 out of 130,000 pilots worldwide.
– BBC News


1955 [60] Jeff Daniels, Athens GA, movie actor (“Dumb & Dumber To”, “Good Night, and Good Luck”)

1960 [55] Prince Andrew (Andrew Albert Christian Edward Windsor), London UK, Britain’s Duke of York/#2 son of Queen Elizabeth II/recently implicated in the Jeffrey Epstein sex scandal

1963 [52] Seal (Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adelo Samuel), London UK, pop singer (“Kiss From a Rose”, “Crazy”)/married to model Heidi Klum 2005-12

1967 [48] Benicio Del Toro, Santurce, Puerto Rico, movie actor (“Guardians Of the Galaxy”, Oscar-“Traffic”)

1970 [45] Bellamy Young, Asheville NC, TV actress (‘Mellie Grant’ on “Scandal” since 2012)

1975 [40] Daniel Adair, Vancouver BC, pop-rock drummer (Nickelback-“Photograph”, ex-3 Doors Down-“It’s Not My Time”)

• Chinese New Year”, aka “Spring Festival”, a festive holiday celebrated by Chinese worldwide on the 2nd New Moon after the Winter Solstice. The 4,713rd Chinese year is a ‘Year Of the Goat’ on the Chinese zodiac. Chinese are expected to take 2.8 billion flights, train trips, and bus rides during China’s most important holiday period, the 40-day New Year celebration. ‘Happy New Year’ is ‘Gong Xi Fa Cai’ in Mandarin and ‘Gong Hey Fat Choy’ in Cantonese.

• “Chocolate Mint Day”, a celebration of one of the all-time great flavor pairings.

• “Pisces” astrology sign begins. People born under the sign are said to be compassionate, adaptable, accepting, devoted, and imaginative. On the downside, they can also be oversensitive, indecisive, self-pitying, lazy, and escapist. Bottom line: They need other people to keep them grounded and on the right track.

• “Temporary Insanity Day”. Some of us would like to see this observance occur more frequently in order to explain our actions.

2010 [05] In a televised news conference, the world’s #1 golfer Tiger Woods apologizes for his many, many extramarital affairs (anything to hang on to his dwindling endorsements)

1985 [30] Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger releases his 1st solo album, “She’s the Boss” (well, that went well)

1985 [30] ‘Cherry Coke’ is 1st sold bottled (after being available for decades at soda fountains and restaurants)

[Fri] “The DUFF”; “Hot Tub Time Machine 2”; “McFarland, USA” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Women in Blue Jeans Day
[Sat] 35th Golden Raspberry Awards (Los Angeles)
[Sat] International Mother Language Day
[Sun] “87th Academy Awards” (ABC)
[Sun] Daytona 500
[Sun] Margarita Day
This Week Is … Pay Your Bills Week
This Month Is … Marijuana Awareness Month


• Beanie Babies Lawyer
• Sausage Heiress
• Wig Co-ordinator
• Puppy Bowl Referee
• Space Lawyer
• Penguinologist
• Knitter-in-Residence
• Head of Potatoes
• Left Shark (Super Bowl halftime)
– Adapted from

My ex says that she will dance on my grave. I’ve now arranged to be buried at sea.

☎ Through some unfathomable time warp you are allowed to travel back in time as an observer. What wise words would you pass along to your 15-year-old self?

Question: The average guy will do THIS 6 times on a first date.
Answer: Lie.

The survival of the fittest is going to make someone awfully lonesome some day.

Printer Friendly Version