Monday, February 20, 2017 – Edition: #5915

Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

★ 44-year-old actress Jennifer Garner is reportedly finally moving forward with her divorce from 44-year-old actor-husband Ben Affleck. They confirmed their intent to divorce in June 2015 after 10 years of marriage. But since, Garner & Affleck have put on a united front for the sake of their 3 kids, causing some to speculate they would ultimately reconcile. A rep says: “No matter what happens, Ben & Jen are committed to raising their family as one unit and will continue to do so as it has worked for them.”
– “Us Weekly”
★ Country star Garth Brooks says it “means everything” to play enough shows so fans aren’t forced to pay high prices to scalpers. Brooks and wife Trisha Yearwood are currently playing 9 shows over 8 days in Edmonton AB to accommodate the demand. Garth quote: “I don’t like people getting in between the artist and the people that allow them to be an artist. Those people that don’t give a sh– about you or me until the show gets here, and now they want to get in the middle of me and you.” In another ploy to foul scalpers, 15% of concert-goers have to present the credit card they used to buy their ticket.
– CBC News
★ Director/actress Angelina Jolie and her kids have attended the long-awaited world premiere of her passion project, the movie “First They Killed My Father”, in Cambodia. It screened in the Temple Of the Elephant Terrace, near where Jolie shot her breakout 2001 film “Tomb Raider”. While speaking at the premiere, Jolie referenced her deep connection to Cambodia since it is where her first child, Maddox, is from. She said: “This film was not made to focus on the horrors of the past but to celebrate the resilience, kindness, and talent of the Cambodian people.”

• “Bates Motel” (A&E) – Vera Farmiga is back as ‘Mother’ for the 5th and final season, but the character is alive only in the mind of her son ‘Norman’ (Freddie Highmore). Rihanna guest-stars later this year.
• “Bellevue” (CBC) – Debut of a new series set in small-town Northern Canada. Anna Paquin plays a cop whose investigation of a missing teen resurrects some eerie questions about her own troubled past. Co-stars Shawn Doyle and Allen Leech.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – ZZ Top (“Live: Greatest Hits From Around the World”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Keith Urban (“Ripcord”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Getter (“Wat the Frick”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – Pharrell Williams (“Girl”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Old 97s (“Graveyard Whistling”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Alison Krauss (“Windy City”).
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Mike Posner (“At Night, Alone”).
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Jidenna (“The Chief”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Legendary Motown singer/songwriter Stevie Wonder. Rerun.

• Beyoncé – She was honored as ‘Hero Of the Year’ at the “NME Awards” in London on Friday night. Adele won ‘Best Festival Headliner’; and Metallica was named ‘Best International Band’.
• Blake Shelton – With no fanfare at all, Gwen Stefani surprised the crowd at The Forum in Los Angeles on Friday night by hopping onstage at her boyfriend Blake’s concert. The couple sang their 2016 song, “Go Ahead and Break My Heart”.
• Brad Paisley – His upcoming album “Love and War” has been pushed back about 6 weeks. His 11th release had been slated for March 3rd, but is now scheduled for April 21st.
• Michael Jackson – “Thriller” has become the first album in RIAA Gold & Platinum Program history to be certified 33-times Diamond for 33 million sales and streams in America.
• Nirvana – A guitar once owned by Kurt Cobain is for sale on eBay through February 26th. Cobain owned the antique Hagstrom Blue Sparkle Deluxe Model 90 from 1992 until his death in 1994. Eventually it ended up with a collector in Portland OR.
• Rag’n’Bone Man – His debut album “Human” is outselling the rest of the UK’s top 20 … combined.
• Thomas Rhett – He’s about to become a father … twice. The country star’s wife, Lauren Akins, is pregnant, while the couple also are going to soon adopt a child from Africa. Rhett’s “Home Team Tour” is scheduled to start Thursday in Saginaw MI.
• Sam Hunt – He sits atop this week’s new ‘Billboard Hot Country Songs’ chart with “Body Like a Back Road”.

• The throwing of confetti or rice is an ancient fertility rite. Handfuls of grain or nuts were traditionally thrown because they are ‘life-giving’ seeds. In some European countries eggs are thrown,
• Tradition dictates the new wife must never trip or fall to avoid bad luck, the origin of carrying the bride over the threshold.
• Until the 1900s, brides hardly ever bought a special ‘wedding dress’, opting for their best outfit instead. White dresses were made popular by Britain’s Queen Victoria, who broke with the tradition of royals marrying in silver.
• The tradition of bridesmaids evolved from the custom of surrounding the bride with other similarly dressed women … in order to confuse ‘evil spirits’.

German authorities have issued a warning to parents that sounds like it was taken from an urban legend: A doll could be spying on their children and should be smashed. The country’s Federal Network Agency has reclassified the ‘My Friend Cayla’ toy as a “concealed transmitting device”, which is illegal in Germany. The Internet-connected doll has conversations with children about themselves and their parents. Authorities say it has an insecure embedded Bluetooth device, meaning hackers could potentially listen in and even talk to children playing with it. German authorities say ‘Cayla’ owners won’t be prosecuted, but they are expected to destroy the dolls. (Wait a sec … shouldn’t they qualify for refunds from the toymaker?)

✓ To remove a carpet stain, fill a spray bottle with water & vinegar (2-to-1), spray the spot, lay a damp rag over it. Run a hot iron (with a steam setting) over the rag for about 1 minute.
✓ To avoid sizzling edges and an ice-cold middle when reheating your pasta in a microwave, distribute the pasta in the shape of a doughnut, with a void in the center.
✓ To check if eggs are still fresh and edible put them in a bowl of cold water. If the egg sinks to the bottom, it’s still fresh. If it floats, it’s rotten.
✓ You can make great spicing agents by freezing herbs in olive oil. Let them freeze in an ice cube tray, then use them whenever you want.
✓ To keep seeds from falling into freshly-made citrus juice, put the orange, lemon, grapefruit etc in a clean stocking before squeezing. It captures all the seeds for perfectly seed-free juice. (Could be a hair or two however.)
– Adapted from

TV ratings for “Full Frontal With Samantha Bee” (TBS) are skyrocketing in the Trump era. “Full Frontal” had been enjoying a slow but steady climb before the US election in November. But since Trump’s inauguration the satirical show is up 175% in total audience. Stephen Colbert’s and Seth Meyers’ shows have also been diving into political humor and fairly sharp criticism of the new administration, yet don’t seem to be getting an equivalent bump, though when it comes to total viewers Colbert has begun pulling in more than Jimmy Fallon on a regular basis. “Full Frontal” is not technically a late-night show. Its timeslot, 10:30 pm, falls within the primetime boundaries. It also only runs once a week. (Like him or hate him, Trump’s good for ratings, as he regularly points out.)

OBAMA’S #12:
Barack Obama was the best US president since Ronald Reagan, but he’s got nothing on Abe Lincoln. That’s the takeaway from a C-SPAN survey of 91 historians who’ve ranked the best presidents in US history based on 10 criteria, including administrative skill, moral authority, crisis leadership, and pursuit of equal justice. Whereas Obama faltered in international relations, he scored high in managing the economy and public persuasion. The top 5 …
1. Abraham Lincoln
2. George Washington
3. Franklin D Roosevelt
4. Theodore Roosevelt
5. Dwight D Eisenhower

Nirvana’s late frontman Kurt Cobain was born 50 years ago today (1967).


1966 [51] Cindy Crawford, DeKalb IL, fashion model (600+ magazine covers)/Mrs Rande Gerber since 1998

1975 [42] Brian Littrell, Lexington KY, pop singer (Backstreet Boys-“Just Want You to Know”, “I Want It That Way”)/cousin of BSB’s Kevin Richardson

1978 [39] Chelsea Peretti, Contra Costa CA, TV actress (‘Gina Linetti’ on “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” since 2013)

1979 [38] Coy Bowles, Carrollton GA, country guitarist-keyboardist (Zac Brown Band-“Sweet Annie”, “Chicken Fried”)

1984 [33] Trevor Noah, Johannesburg, South Africa, TV host (“The Daily Show” since 2015)

1988 [29] Rihanna (Fenty), Saint Michael, Barbados, pop singer (“FourFiveSeconds”, “Umbrella”)

1989 [28] Jack Falahee, Ann Arbor MI, TV actor (‘Connor Walsh’ on “How to Get Away With Murder” since 2014)

• “Cherry Pie Day”, honoring the 2nd-most-popular fruit pie, behind only apple pie.

• “Day of Solidarity with Muslim, Arab, and South Asian Immigrants”, observed annually on February 20th.

• “Family Day” a semi-national annual Canadian holiday. The province of Alberta has observed it on the 3rd Monday of February since 1990. Saskatchewan adopted the idea in 2007; Ontario added the mid-Winter break in 2008. Manitoba celebrates the holiday as “Louis Riel Day”.

• “Love Your Pet Day”, as if you need some kind of excuse.

• “Northern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day”, when you’re encouraged to go outdoors and yell ‘Hoodie-Hoo!’ at the top of your lungs at noon local time to relieve Winter blahs and encourage the arrival of Spring. Could make an interesting on-air bit with callers.

• “Presidents Day” in the USA, always the 3rd Monday in February, originally to honor the birthdays of George Washington (February 22nd) and Abraham Lincoln (February 12th), but now recognizing all US presidents.

• “World Day of Social Justice”, the 8th annual initiated by the UN to promote solutions to global issues such as poverty, exclusion, and unemployment.

2009 [08] TV personality Conan O’Brien hosts his final “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” show on NBC-TV (he moves on to briefly replace Jay Leno on “The Tonight Show”, then gets pushed out and has to move to TBS)

2003 [14] During a Great White concert in West Warwick RI, a pyrotechnics display sets the club ablaze, killing 100 and injuring over 300 fans

2009 [08] The White Stripes play the last episode of “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” on NBC-TV (coincidentally ends up being their final performance as a band)

1937 [80] 1st ‘flying car’, combination auto/airplane, is tested (‘Aeromobile’ in Santa Monica CA)

2013 [04] Estonia becomes the 1st country in the world to establish a national electric car charging network , capable of a full charge within 30 minutes

2011 [06] At age 20, rookie driver Trevor Bayne becomes the youngest winner in the 53-year history of the Daytona 500 auto race

[Tues] International Mother Language Day
[Tues] Travel Africa Day
[Wed] “Brit Awards” (ITV)
[Wed] Margarita Day

Brotherhood-Sisterhood Week / Date Fruit Week / Entrepreneurship Week / Bird Health Awareness Week / Eating Disorders Week / Engineers Week / International Petroleum Week / Justice for Animals Week / Learning Disabilities Week / Through With the Chew Week


Highlight bits culled from 23 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
Your contestant gets 15 seconds to give as many answers as possible in each category. Time’s up when the toaster SFX go off!
• Things you do to get ready in the morning.
• Types of bread.
• Affectionate names you might call your lover.
• Famous people who think they’re hot but they’re not.
• Most romantic places to ‘fool around’.
– First published in “BS” 2008.

■ “Biggest toad in the puddle” . . . important person.
■ “He has a brick in his hat” . . . he’s drunk.
■ “Acknowledge the corn” . . . admit shortcomings.
■ “Cold as a wagon tire” . . . dead.
■ “Seen the elephant” . . . seen it all, got the T-shirt.
■ “Got the mitten” . . . dumped by a sweetheart.
■ “Absquatulate” . . . to leave or disappear.
■ “Plug ugly” . . . rowdy troublemaker.
– First published in “BS” 2014.

[Your show], one man’s lonely effort to accumulate evidence for his next sanity hearing.

Geologists have recently discovered an 8th continent. What’s it called?
a. East America
b. Zealandia [CORRECT. Most of it is underwater.]
c. Afartica
– BBC News

☎ You cannot drink alcohol between 9-and-5 anymore if you work at Lloyd’s of London. Good idea?

Question: 42% of people have really wanted to do THIS, but didn’t go through with it.
Answer: Throw something at the TV.

If you don’t die from it, it’s healthy.

Juan Blasco & Joe Paz @ Big Buck Country 98.1 [KRRG] Laredo TX; Eric Chavez @ TuVidaFM Washington DC; Kia Becht @ Today’s Country K102 [KEEY] Minneapolis MN; and Elsa Teixeira @ Radio Comercial, Lisboa, Portugal.

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