Wednesday, February 23, 2011       Edition: #4448
More From the Sheethouse!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Today Lindsay Lohan is due back in court to face felony charges for jewelry theft (she would have qualified for unsupervised probation from her last sentence in just 2 more days) . . . Word has it famous folks David & Victoria Beckham have been invited to the royal wedding of Prince William & Kate Middleton (just like his mom, Wills loves those show biz types) . . . Meantime, pregnant Victoria Beckham tells CNN she really, really, really wants a girl and if it doesn’t happen this time, then maybe they’ll be lucky next time (do these people ever come up for air?) . . . Celebrity dad Billy Ray Cyrus admits in the new “GQ” magazine that signing on to do 4 seasons of the Disney Channel show “Hannah Montana” was a big mistake that wrecked his whole family (a lame TV show caused dysfunction?) . . . Former “24” star Kiefer Sutherland is mulling a return to primetime with another FOX-TV drama called “Touch”, about a father who discovers his autistic, mute son can predict events before they happen (from the creator of “Heroes”) . . . According to texts & emails published in the “Los Angeles Times”, Mel Gibson & Oskana Grigorieva discussed getting back together – even after he found out about the infamous tapes of his ranting (we say put them in a locked room and see who survives) . . . And indie recording artist Rufus Wainwright & partner Jorn Weisbrodt have a new baby girl (Viva Katherine Wainwright Cohen) via surrogate mom Lorca Cohen, daughter of iconic singer/songwriter Leonard Cohen (were they attempting to breed a future musician?).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Contestants perform songs by The Beatles in Las Vegas.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – G Love (“Long Way Down”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Greyson Chance (“Waiting Outside The Lines”); Kellie Pickler (“Kellie Pickler”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Twilight Singers (“Dynamite Steps”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Lucero (“That Much Further West”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – 1990s group Bell Biv Devoe.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – The Mountain Goats (“All Eternals Deck”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Bobby V & Bobby Brown (“Fly On the Wall”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Justin Bieber (“Never Say Never”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Travie McCoy (“Lazarus”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Plain White T’s (“Wonders Of the Younger”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Blake Shelton – He’ll notch his 3rd consecutive #1 country single when the “Billboard” and “Country Aircheck” stats are officially released this week, thanks to “Who Are You When I’m Not Looking?”. It’s his 8th chart-topper overall.
• Justin Bieber – He’s donating his famous locks to a charity auction after undergoing a makeover this week that includes a ‘more mature’ hairstyle.
• Lady Gaga – She says she stays slim by working out daily and adhering to ‘The Drunk Diet’, boyfriend Luc Carl’s regimen which saw him lose 40 lbs (18 kg) while still partying hard. He’s currently working on a book about his nontraditional weight-loss method.
• The Monkees – Mickey Dolenz, Davy Jones, and Peter Tork will tour the UK to celebrate the 45th anniversary of the 1960s pop band this Spring. Michael Nesmith has not played with the band since 1997, but the rest of the lineup has toured together occasionally.
• Paramore – Hayley Williams tells AOL Music they’re hoping to record ‘a batch of songs’ to release over the Summer, before going to work on a new studio album.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – The band is currently hard at work on their 10th album, due later this year.

BS BUZZWORDS:
New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Fakation’ – A vacation where a significant amount of time is spent reading email and performing other work-related tasks. (“Having a great time here in Jamaica with my Blackberry, my laptop, and my iPad. Wish you were here instead.”)
• ‘Googleganger’ – A person who has the same name as you, and whose online references are mixed in with yours when you run a Google search of your name. (“World-renowned supermodel. Lives in Podunk, Saskatchewan. Took a course in HVAC via correspondence. Played linebacker for Notre Dame. Former Miss Armenia.”)
• ‘Momoir’ – A memoir about motherhood. (A book about fatherhood would therefore be called a ‘popoir’?)
• ‘Tiger Mother’ – A loving but strict mother who demands from her children obedience, respect, and academic excellence. (Often credited for the outstanding success of Asian and Asian-heritage schoolchildren in the classroom.)

VIRTUAL TRUANT OFFICER:
California’s Anaheim Union School District is issuing kids who are chronically late for school a handheld GPS device that requires them to check in at regular intervals to ensure they’re where they’re supposed to be when they’re supposed to be there. It’s currently being field-tested on middle-school kids with 4 or more unexcused absences. They must check in when leaving for school in the morning and at 4 more times through the day. As an added incentive to get to school on time, each kid gets a morning wake-up call telling them it’s time to hit the deck and get to class. (Sounds like another prop to take the place of proper parenting.)
– “Orange County Register”

ON THE UPTICK:
The average ‘bull market’ lasts 3.8 years, and we’re in one now as stocks have nearly doubled since March 2009. The current bull ride turns 2 on March 9th, leading some to question how long it can last. 80% of bull markets last past their 2nd birthday, but after that only half of them see their 3rd. The average gain of the 15 bull markets since 1932 is a little over 136%. Currently we’re up 93.7%. Experts say it’s not too late to get in. (Actually the time to buy was during the deep trough of 2008, but who had the guts when the bottom was falling out?)
– CNN Money

TAKE TWO & CALL ME IN THE MORNING:
Pioneering research at the UK’s Princess of Wales Hospital shows that sterile maggots can heal wounds faster than conventional medicine, and now the government has given the treatment it’s endorsement. British doctors may now prescribe a pot of maggots for treatment of wounds, thereby avoiding lengthy hospital stays. (Prescription Note: You don’t eat ‘em, you just put them on the wound.)
– AFP

A NAME FOR THE DECADE:
The social networking site played a crucial role in the Egyptian uprising, so much so that it has widely been labeled the ‘Facebook Revolution’. The recent protests began with a Facebook event invite that brought thousands to the streets. In tribute to the successes born from that, a young Egyptian couple have reportedly named their firstborn daughter ‘Facebook’. According to a report in the Egyptian newspaper “Al-Ahram”, the baby’s full name is ‘Facebook Jamal Ibrahim’. (Aw, a little sister for Twitter … how sweet!)
– TechCrunch.com

DON’T PAY ATTENTION TO THIS:
It seems that sometimes paying too much attention can backfire. In recent years, scientists have found surprising benefits to NOT paying attention. For instance, a link has been discovered between daydreaming and creativity. People who daydream are also better at generating new ideas. Other studies have found that employees are more productive when allowed to engage in ‘Internet leisure browsing’, and that people unable to concentrate due to severe brain damage actually score above average on various problem-solving tasks. (If not listening helps you excel, [co-hosts’s] kid should be a genius!)
– “Wall Street Journal”

ANOTHER REASON TO BUY BULK:
More & more consumers are said to be experiencing ‘packaging rage’, frustration with trying to open products due to safety caps, vacuum-sealed bags, etc. Is it a result of poor packaging or an aging population? A recent UK survey found that fully 71% of people over 50 had actually injured themselves while trying to get into a grocery product. But even younger consumers have trouble with packaging – blisterpacks on electronic gizmos, for example. (Ask listeners for examples of bad packaging [painkillers, potato chips] and innovative good packaging [individual fruit cocktails with a ring-pull lid, honey in a bottle with a twist nozzle].)
– “The Australian”

FOR THE RECORD:
Ziona Chana of Baktwang, India is the leader of a sect that allows members to take as many wives as they want. Chana himself has 39 wives, 94 children, and 33 grandchildren – 181 family members overall, who all live in his household. Just one evening meal can require 30 chickens, 132 lb of potatoes, and 220 lb of rice. Chana enjoys his own double bed while his wives have to make do with communal dormitories. There is a rotation system for ‘visitations’.
– DailyMail.co.uk

DID YOU KNOW?
• There are twice as many slot machines as ATM machines in the USA, a total of 850,000. Americans spend more money on slot machines than movies, theme parks, and baseball … combined.
– “60 Minutes”
• Rats actually have a better sense of smell than dogs. For that reason (and their easy availability), they’re being used to sniff out landmines in Africa.
– History Channel
• We didn’t even know bees had a sense of smell, but apparently it’s very keen! Scientists in the UK are training them to recognize specific scents … like bombs. These individually hand-trained bees stick out there tiny tongues whenever they catch a bad aroma.
– “Reader’s Digest”

BS CHRONOMETER 02.23.11

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1952 [59] Brad Whitford, Winchester MA, rock guitarist (Aerosmith-“I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing”, “Crazy”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2001)

1965 [46] Michael Dell, Houston TX, founder & CEO of Dell Computer

1965 [46] Kristin Davis, Boulder CO, movie/TV actress (“Sex & The City” movies)

1972 [39] Steve Holy, Dallas TX, country singer (“Brand New Girlfriend”, “Good Morning Beautiful”)

1983 [28] Emily Blunt, London UK, movie actress (“Gnomeo & Juliet”, “The Devil Wears Prada”)

1983 [28] Aziz Ansari, Columbia SC, TV actor (‘Tom Haverford’ on “Parks & Recreation” since 2009)

1994 [17] Dakota Fanning, Conyers GA, movie actress (“Twilight Saga” films, “The Runaways”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Curling is Cool Day”, celebrating the Winter sport of curling … basically a drinking game with some housecleaning interspersed. Curling is one sport in which participants are able to laugh at themselves …
NET: http://icing.org/humour/2liners/2liners.htm

• “Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day”. A recent poll of pet owners finds that fully 34% have eaten dog food at one time or another, most likely just to see what it tastes like.

• “Inconvenience Yourself Day”, a day to focus on ways to show respect for others, the environment, and the world around you.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1996 [15] Actor Charlie Sheen divorces model Donna Peele; actress Halle Berry divorces Major League Baseball player David Justice

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2000 [11] Carlos Santana ties Grammy Awards record by picking up 8 trophies for his multi-platinum album “Supernatural” and its first #1 single “Smooth”

2003 [08] Norah Jones wins 5 Grammy Awards, including Album/Record Of the Year (“Come Away with Me”/”Don’t Know Why”)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1997 [14] Scientists in Scotland announce the 1st successful cloning of an adult mammal, ‘Dolly’ the sheep

2002 [09] 1st McDonald’s drive-thru for snowmobiles opens in Pitea, Sweden (about 80 miles south of the Arctic Circle)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1992 [19] Residents of Auckland, New Zealand complete the tallest tower made entirely of Lego blocks … 65 feet, 2 inches

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day
[Thurs] Chili Day
[Thurs] Personal Chefs Day
[Fri] “Drive Angry 3D”; “The Grace Card”; “Hall Pass” open in movie theaters
[Sat] 31st Razzie Awards (Hollywood)
[Sat] Open That Bottle Night
[Sat] International Sword Swallowers Day
[Sun] 83rd Academy Awards (Hollywood)
This Week Is … Telecommuter Appreciation Week
This Month Is … Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month

BULL’S BITS

WEIRDEST BS WANT ADS:
The world’s 1st ‘Classified Ad’ appeared in “The Times of London” 125 years ago today in 1886. A few recent ads that might cause a double-take …
• “Used Tombstone. Perfect for someone named Homer Hendel-Bergen-Heinzel. One Only.”
• “Turkey For Sale. Partially eaten. Only 8-days-old. Both drumsticks still intact. $23.”
• “Full Size Mattress. Royal Tonic. 20 year warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell. $40.”
• “Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.”
• “Human skull. Used once only. $200 OBO.”
• “White trash compactor. Looks like new. Asking $225.”
• “Honda Civic ‘96. AM/FM/CD. Low miles. Good condition. Speaks Spanish.”
• “China cabinet, buffet, hutch. Solid pine. A few cat scratches … but cat has been killed. $700.”
– Oddee.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
Which TV character would you like to date?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Your pewter looks terrible. According to an old home remedy, which should you clean it with?
a. A banana peel.
b. Cabbage leaves. [CORRECT]
c. A damp cat.

• You suffer from ‘scotophobia’. Of what do you have an abnormal fear?
a. You’re afraid of the dark. [CORRECT]
b. You’re afraid of tight clothing.
c. You’re afraid of being forced at gunpoint to eat fertilizer.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If reality wants to get in touch with me, it knows where I am.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: An hour of THIS burns 238 calories, the same as doing an hour on an exercise bike or 70 minutes of lifting weights.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Mopping the floors.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Remember: If you throw dirt, you’re losing ground.


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