Tuesday, February 8, 2011        Edition: #4442
We’ve Got Our Sheet Together!

18-year-old Miley Cyrus has been spotted smoking cigarettes (a new habit) on the way to getting inked (an old habit), her 5th tattoo so far (she’s certainly no longer a beacon of decorum for tweens) . . . Reps for both 24-year-old “Glee” actress Dianna Agron (‘Quinn Fabray’) & her 20-year-old actor-boyfriend Alex Pettyfer are denying an “Us Magazine” story suggesting they’re engaged (they met on the set of “I Am Number Four”, opening February 18th) . . . 30-year-old model Gisele Bundchen (who’s previously appeared in ads for Nivea Sun products) has now launched her own organic skin-care line, and says she never uses sunscreens because of the chemicals they contain (her solution is only exposing herself to rays before 8 am – on her way to bed) . . . Former “My Name Is Earl” actress Jamie Pressly has pleaded not guilty to DUI over that incident January 6th in Santa Monica CA, even though her blood alcohol registered 3 times the legal limit (next hearing is March 18th, when she’ll face – reality) . . . 35-year-old sometime actress Tara Reid claims she’s really busy these days, preparing to do “American Pie 4” this year as well as “Big Lebowski 2” (total news to filmmakers Joel & Ethan Coen, who have no plans for a sequel) . . . 42-year-old Aussie actor Hugh Jackman says he’s currently consuming 6,000 calories-a-day in order to bulk up for “The Wolverine” (2012) and he’s now up to 210 lbs (6,000 calories is like a pig for breakfast, a moose for lunch) . . . And an embarrassing YouTube video of actor Charlie Sheen’s most recent booze-dope-babes bender has quickly been taken down by Warner Bros, due to a ‘copyright claim’ (they’re filming all his hijinks for a TV show?).

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Red (“Until We Have Faces”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Ray LaMontagne (“God Willin’ & The Creek Don’t Rise”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Josh Groban (“Illuminations”).
• “Glee” (FOX/Global) – Tonight’s Valentines-themed episode, “Silly Love Songs”, features tunes by Katy Perry, Robin Thicke, Queen, as well as Paul McCartney.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Pitbull (“Armando”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Jimmy Eat World (“Invented”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Little Big Town (“The Reason Why”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Gang Of Four (“Content”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – 50 Cent w/Governor (“Black Magic”, coming later this year).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Ozzy Osbourne (“Scream”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Country legend Merle Haggard.

• The Beatles – Today the “LOVE” soundtrack album from the Las Vegas stage production is released exclusively on iTunes. The film “All Together Now”, a documentary about the making of the Beatles-themed show by Cirque du Soleil will follow shortly.
• Elton John – Today his soundtrack to the animated movie “Gnomeo & Juliet” (opening Friday) is released. Interestingly “Hello Hello”, his duet with Lady Gaga, will apparently only be featured in the film as only a solo version by Elton appears on the soundtrack.
• Jamey Johnson – The country singer-songwriter & his family recently vacationed with actor Matthew McConaughey & his family on an 18-day trip to Brazil, where it’s now mid-Summer.
• Justin Bieber – His bodyguard, Kenneth Hamilton, has been given a ‘desk-appearance ticket’, which requires him to appear in a NYC Criminal Court on a date yet to be set. He allegedly roughed up a photographer who claims he has since suffered lower-back pain.
• Taylor Swift – When decorating her condo in Nashville, she says she used a wide variety of themes, including a pirate ship, “Alice in Wonderland”, an antiques store, a fortune teller’s house, a tree house, and a birdcage. Eclectic … or just a hodgepodge?
• Waylon Jennings – Volume 1 of a massive 3-album tribute to the late country great is out today. “The Music Inside: A Collaboration Dedicated to Waylon Jennings” features tracks by Alabama, James Otto, Jamey Johnson, Jessi Colter, Kris Kristofferson, Shooter Jennings, and Trace Adkins. The remaining 2 volumes are expected later in 2011.

• “For Colored Girls” ( R-Rated Drama ): Director Tyler Perry’s adaptation of Ntozake Shange’s stage play centers on a group of black women whose lives and experiences intersect at a 12-step healing program. Stars Janet Jackson, Anika Noni Rose, Whoopi Goldberg.
• “Life As We Know It” ( PG-13 Dramedy ): Katherine Heigl & Josh Duhamel star as a pair of singles who together become caregivers to an orphaned girl when their mutual best friends die in an accident. Soundtrack features Amy Winehouse, Elvis Costello, Faith Hill, Pearl Jam.
• “Middle Men” ( R-Rated Crime Comedy ) – The story of ‘Jack Harris’ (Luke Wilson), one of the pioneers of Internet commerce, who partnered with 2 enterprising troublemakers (Giovanni Ribisi, Gabriel Macht) to sell adult entertainment over the fledgling Internet in 1995.
• “My Soul to Take” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): Veteran director Wes Craven’s latest fright flick centers around a serial killer who returns to his hometown to stalk 7 children who share the same birthday as the date he was allegedly put to rest. No-name cast.
• “Paranormal Activity 2” (R-Rated Horror): After 2009’s original film grossed close to $200 million on a paltry budget of $15,000, a sequel was inevitable. Directed by Tod Williams; starring Katie Featherston.
• “You Again” ( PG Comedy ): Kristen Bell plays a young woman who realizes her brother is about to marry the girl who bullied her in high school, so she sets out to expose the fiancée’s true colors. Co-stars Betty White, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kristen Chenoweth, Sigourney Weaver.
• Also released today: “Alfred Hitchcock: The Master Of the Macabre” (Compilation); “Classic Educational Shorts #3 & #4” (Documentary); “Columbo: Mystery Movie Collection 1991-93” (Classic TV); “The Guardian: The Complete Series” (TV); “The Last Play at Shea – Music By Billy Joel” (Documentary); and “Ultimate Jordan” (Sports Documentary).

The Crestone End of Life Project in the small town of Crestone, Colorado is now offering the cremation option of an ‘open-air funeral pyre’. They’ve staged 18 such funerals since starting the service 3 years ago. Ancient Vikings lit funeral pyres to honor their dead, and it’s an accepted practice in the Buddhist and Hindu religions but until now has been largely taboo in Western cultures. It takes up to 4-and-a half hours for a body to burn completely. Since there’s no way of separating human ashes from those of the firewood, the family receives about 5 gallons (19 liters) of ashes. (Can you bring marshmallows?)
– Yahoo! News

According to a joint Georgetown-Belmont University study, if your last name begins with any of the letters R-through-Z, you’re more likely to jump on board a ‘ limited-time offer’.  The hypothesis is that repeated delays imposed on children with names late in the alphabet (such as waiting for their surnames to come up when attendance is taken) create in them a subconscious desire to act quickly when enabled. Researchers think that urge is automatically activated by limited-time offers to buy stuff. (If your name is Aaliyah Aaron, you likely sit around bored a lot.)
– Slate.com

A Japanese company has invented an ‘electro-smile’ device that hooks onto a child’s ears like eyeglasses while a hi-tech strap fits snuggly under the chin to send a pulse of low-voltage electricity through the kid’s cheeks. That, they promise, will cause a forced smile on the child’s face, no matter what their mood. (No more worries about grandma feeling your kids aren’t happy to see her … just crank up the voltage!)
NET: http://bit.ly/g5m7Rk
– NewsWeird.com

A few unusual ways to determine your likelihood of becoming seriously sick …
• Birth Order – While there’s no definitive proof, studies indicate that first-born boys have a greater risk of testicular cancer and older siblings also have a greater risk of leukemia.
• Finger Length – Men with an index finger longer than their ring finger are less likely to develop prostate cancer, according to a recent study.
• Grip Strength – In a study of older men and women, good grip strength has been correlated with longer lifespan.
• Hair Loss – Men with extensive baldness that involves the top of their heads have the greatest risk of heart disease, according to Harvard Medical School research.
• Religion – The Loma Linda University School of Public Health has found that people who worship regularly, no matter which faith they follow, live longer.
– Condensed from RD.com

They’re annoying to remember, insecure, and costly for companies but virtually all of us have to deal with computer passwords these days. Surveys show the most-used passwords are ‘123456’, ‘password’, and ‘12345678’. A new study of the time it takes a hacker’s computer to randomly guess your password reveals that a 6-character, lowercase password only requires 10 minutes. By contrast, a 9-character password that includes lower & uppercase letters plus numbers and symbols would require 44,530 years! (How many passwords do you have and where do you store them?)
– “Bloomberg Businessweek”

That pillar of the basic web address, the .com domain, is about to face vast new competition that will dramatically transform the Internet as we know it. New domains, with more subject-specific suffixes will soon be allowed, such as .eco, .love, .god, .sport, .gay or .music. Ever since the nonprofit Internet Corporation for Assigned Names & Numbers (ICANN) approved the expansion in 2008, it’s been stuck debating how best administer it. But now it’s on the cusp of completing those talks in March or April and will soon solicit applications from companies and governments that want to propose and operate the new-style addresses. (What domain extension would you pick?)
– WashingtonPost.com

• The Green Bay Packers’ first Super Bowl team, 45 years ago, didn’t have a player heavier than 265 pounds. Nowadays numerous players tip the scales at 300-plus.
– AP
• The number of male breast reduction operations increased by 28% in Britain last year, making it the 2nd-most popular cosmetic operation for men, after nose alterations.
– BBC News


1941 [70] Nick Nolte, Omaha NE, movie actor (“Hotel Rwanda”, “Affliction”) who was pictured in some of the most horrific-looking Hollywood mug shots of all-time (2002)

1943 [68] Creed Bratton (Charles Schneider), LA CA, TV actor (‘Creed’ on “The Office” since 2005)/oldies guitarist (The Grass Roots-“Midnight Confessions”, “Let’s Live for Today”)

1955 [56] John Grisham, Jonesboro AR, lawyer-turned-novelist (“The Confession”, “The Firm”)   BS FACTOID: Movies made from his books include “The Pelican Brief” (1993), “A Time to Kill” (1996), “Runaway Jury” (2003), and “Christmas With the Kranks” (2004).

1961 [50] Vince Neil (Wharton), Hollywood CA, rock vocalist (Motley Crue-“If I Die Tomorrow”, “Girls Girls Girls”)/convicted for DUI and scheduled to enter jail a week from today

1969 [42] Keith Nelson, PA, rock guitarist (Buckcherry-“Sorry”, “Lit Up”)

1977 [34] Dave ‘Phoenix’ Farrell, Plymouth MA, rock musician (Linkin Park-“The Catalyst”, “In the End”)

1985 [26] Jeremy Davis, North Little Rock AR, rock bassist (Paramore-“Decode”, “Crushcrushcrush”)

1994 [17] Nikki Yanofsky, Hampstead QC, jazz-pop singer (“Cool My Heels”, “I Believe”)

• “Boy Scouts of America Founding Anniversary”, celebrating its 1910 organization by William Boyce. America’s Boy Scouts are based on the work of Sir Robert Baden-Powell who earlier founded the original Boy Scout Association in the UK.
NET: http://www.scouting.org

• “Extraterrestrial Culture Day”, observed annually on the 2nd Tuesday of February as a day to honor all past, present, and future extraterrestrial visitors. It’s an official memorial (not law) in New Mexico, that acknowledges that state has been recognized worldwide as a nexus of sightings and unexplained mysteries ever since the Roswell UFO incident of 1947.

• “Laugh & Get Rich Day”, in recognition of laughter’s power to add to the bottom line. It’s claimed that people who laugh are more effective and tend to remember things better.
PHONER: 781-272-9995 (Rick Segel, Poinciana FL)/Email: rick@ricksegel.com

1926 [85] Walt Disney Studios formed (‘The Mouse House’)

2007 [04] 39-year-old wannabe actress, model, and million-heir Anna Nicole Smith is found dead in room #607 of the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood FL

2002 [09] Sting, the Dixie Chicks, LeAnn Rimes, and Robbie Robertson share the stage with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir at the opening ceremony of the “Salt Lake City Winter Olympics”

1816 [195] 1st ‘Police Dog’ used to make an arrest (a Bull Terrier in Britain)

[Wed] Stop Bullying Day
[Wed] Read In the Bathtub Day
[Wed] Taylor Swift’s “Speak Now World Tour 2011” begins (Singapore)
[Wed] Bon Jovi’s “Live 2011” tour begins (University Park PA)
[Fri] BAFTA Awards (London)
[Fri] Pro Sports Wives Day
[Fri] Satisfied Staying Single Day
This Week Is … Consumer Protection Week
This Month Is … Black History Month


• GEEKS snicker and blush at dirty jokes; NERDS laugh uncontrollably for hours.
• GEEKS will fit only in full size gym lockers; NERDS fit in all gym lockers.
• GEEKS get a perfect score on the SAT; NERDS write the damn SAT.
• GEEKS socialize with DWEEBS; NERDS socialize with DORKS
• GEEKS snort when they laugh; NERDS also snort but add a high-pitched nasal wheeze.
• GEEKS wear bowling shoes as their regular shoes; NERDS wear bowling shoes with plaid shorts.

Who should retire that refuses to? Mick Jagger? Barbara Walters? Don Cherry? Lloyd Robertson? Britney Spears?

• “I’ve had 18 straight whiskies, I think that’s the record.” [Dying poet Dylan Thomas, 1953]
• “Codeine … bourbon.” [Dying actress Tallulah Bankhead, 1968]
• “Am I dying or is this my birthday?” [Dying viscountess Lady Astor, 1964]
• “How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?” [Dying showman PT Barnum, 1891]
• “I can’t sleep.” [Dying “Peter Pan” author James M Barrie, 1937]
• “Get my swan costume ready.” [Dying ballerina Anna Pavlova, 1931]
• “That was a great game of golf, fellers.” – Dying singer Bing Crosby, 1977]
• “I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.” – Dying actor Humphrey Bogart, 1957]
– “Brain Candy”

He’s now rising from affluence to poverty.

Today’s Question: New research suggests THIS helps women cope with stress … but not men.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Caffeine.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

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