Thursday, January 17, 2008        Edition: #3691
Another Sheetload of Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
38-year-old actor Matthew McConaughey is about to become a first-time father as his Brazilian model-girlfriend Camilla Alves, whom he’s been dating for a year, is 3-months-pregnant (he was previously linked to actresses Penelope Cruz & Sandra Bullock) . . . “The Sarah Connor Chronicles” star Lena Headey has a pet Brussels Griffin dog named ‘Angela Lansbury’, which she says looks like a ‘fat, squashed Ewok’ (no wonder she picked that name) . . . Actress Diane Lane (“Unfaithful”) says she’s putting her career on hold in order to support her actor-husband Josh Brolin (“American Gangster”, “No Country for Old Men”) as he follows up a string of movie successes (this is what you say in Hollywood when you’re turning 43 & can’t get any more lead roles) . . . A rep confirms 35-year-old actress Gwyneth Paltrow was taken to NYC’s Mount Sinai Hospital by her Coldplay husband Chris Martin for an overnight stay THIS WEEK, but refuses to elaborate on the reason (one report claims she’s expecting their 3rd child) . . . 19-year-old “High School Musical” star Vanessa Hudgens is close to finishing her 2nd solo album, which flaks say will definitely be ‘more grown-up’ than her 2006 album “V” (was that “V” for victory or the Roman numeral for total sales?) . . . Oprah Winfrey is getting her own network by buying up ‘Discovery Health’ and renaming it ‘OWN’ (Oprah Winfrey Network), which will premiere NEXT YEAR (if her quest for world domination goes any further, she’ll qualify to play a ‘James Bond’ villain) . . . Insiders tell “OK!” magazine they expect the relationship between Jessica Simpson & Dallas QB Tony Romo to be fumbled faster than a pass to Patrick Crayton because ‘she needs so much attention’ it’s impossible to date her for long (Cowboy fans cheer!) . . . And a recently-fired assistant to Paula Abdul says her former boss has a history of sobbing while standing with phone in hand, then ordering an employee to tell the person on the other end of the line how ‘unacceptable’ it was to treat Paula so poorly (well that shows some balance – she’s not just wacky on TV then!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Avril Lavigne – Semi-successful ‘70s act The Rubinoos, who accused her of plagiarism for stealing her hit “Girlfriend”, have now issued a public apology stating she’s been ‘exonerated’ from the allegations. Hmm, sound like somebody got a payoff?
• Fergie – Rumors are flying that she’s expecting her first child with actor-fiancé Josh Duhamel (“Las Vegas”) after real-life Vegas mayor Oscar Goodman recently presented him with a pair of baby shoes, reportedly teeny-weeny Crocs.
• Gwen Stefani – She’s decided to stay in London while her husband Gavin Rossdale attempts to launch a solo career in Britain. The couple currently divide their time between the UK and LA.
• Maroon 5 – They’ll appear with country star Sara Evans  in one of the oddest-ever collaborations on CMT’s “Crossroads”. They’ll perform each other’s hits onstage in Nashville JANUARY 29th before an invitation-only audience. The program airs in MAY.
• Rihanna – She’s teamed with designer Marc Jacobs to launch a line of purses for his Spring collection that will bear her name. She previously scored a deal to endorse a line of Totes umbrellas. Good money eh, eh, eh, eh?
• Spice Girls – Melanie Chisholm will play an acoustic set in NYC NEXT MONTH, showcasing her solo material during a break from the Spice Girls reunion tour. Some say she’s the only talented one.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Reba McEntire/Kelly Clarkson – Their 15-city co-headlining “2 Worlds 2 Voices Tour” kicks off in Dayton OH. They’ll share one band, one stage, and perform live together for the first time.
• “Sundance Film Festival”, Robert Redford’s annual 10-day independent movie competition gets underway in Park City, Ogden & Sundance UT. At least 24 countries will be represented by the 121 films scheduled to unreel, including 81 world premieres.
• Velvet Revolver – Frontman Scott Weiland is scheduled to appear in LA court to face a DUI charge from NOVEMBER 21.

FUTURE FLICKS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Cirque du Freak” – Salma Hayek is heading back to the bigscreen in her first acting role since her maternity leave, playing a bearded lady in this upcoming horror drama. John C Reilly co-stars, playing a vampire. The thriller shoots in New Orleans LA beginning NEXT MONTH with a scheduled release for later THIS YEAR.
• “Public Enemies” – Christian Bale is in talks to star opposite Johnny Depp in this Depression-era crime drama. He’d play manhunter Melvin Purvis, who captured more public enemies than any other agent in FBI history. Depp stars as infamous outlaw John Dillinger. Production is expected to begin later THIS WINTER in Chicago; the film will hit screens in 2009.
• “The Road” – Viggo Mortensen & Charlize Theron will co-star as husband & wife in an upcoming movie adaptation of the Pulitzer-winning novel by Cormac McCarthy (“No Country For Old Men”). Mortensen will play a struggling father fighting off cannibals following a nuclear explosion. Theron, who is said to be a huge fan of the book, will largely appear in flashback scenes.
• “The Soloist” – Director Joe Wright is stunned the budget for his first Hollywood studio film is almost double the $30 million he spent making the Oscar-favored period pic “Atonement” in England. The drama stars Jamie Foxx as a schizophrenic, homeless musician from LA’s skid row who dreams of playing at the fabulous Walt Disney Concert Hall.
• “Whip It!” – 20-year-old Golden Globe-nominated “Juno” actress Ellen Page (Halifax NS) will next appear in Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut, the story of an outcast Texas teen who finds her true calling in the world of female roller derby. Shooting begins THIS SUMMER. While Page has at least one other film lined up beforehand, she says she “can’t wait to kick ass on wheels!”.

DON’T SEND IN THE CLOWNS:
Many children don’t like clowns, and even older kids are often afraid of them, say researchers from the University of Sheffield. In a poll of 250 patients in children’s hospital wards, all 250 said they disliked face-painted entertainers. (Strange that Ronald McDonald doesn’t inspire so much terror … just the Big Mac.)
– Reuters

POPULARITY CONTEST:
Our favorite movie stars, according to a just-released annual Harris Poll …
5.  Will Smith
4. Julia Roberts
3. Johnny Depp
2. Tom Hanks
1. Denzel Washington (2nd year-in-a-row.)
– “E! News”

WHOSE LAP IS THIS SMALL?
Apple has unveiled the world’s thinnest laptop computer. The ‘Macbook Air’ (MSRP circa $2,000) measures just 3-quarters of an inch thick, slim enough to fit in an envelope. (Great, something else expensive that you can lose.)
– “The Guardian”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 84% of men have crashed a vehicle at least once while driving, but only 77% of women.
• 33% of married women say they will not walk around naked in front of their partner.
• 23% of men say at some point in their life they’d like to learn to play the piano.
• 20% of women say they would never exercise in front of a guy.
• 16% of men say they’re so uncomfortable in a swimsuit, they avoid wearing one in public.
• 8% of us would allow a reality-based TV show to film us ‘doing it’.

FAVORITE REALITY TV JUDGES:
Here’s one ranking of the best 5 …
5. Tyra Banks (“America’s Next Top Model”) – The show’s never really been about producing a top model, more about Tyra. After 9 seasons her self-centeredness has become almost comical. Still, she remains one of the more entertaining parts of the now-routine series.
4. Bruno Tonioli ( “Dancing with the Stars”) – While he’s definitely known for off-the-wall comments, he’s mostly entertaining because of his confrontations with fellow judges which are the highlight of the judging round. And his exuberant scoring gets a “10!” … with fist punched in the air.
3. Michael Kors (“Project Runway”) – He’s knowledgeable, articulate, and entertaining, a rare combination in the specialty field of reality show judging. Whether or not you’re into fashion, you gotta love this guy’s biting, witty remarks.
2. Mary Murphy (“So You Think You Can Dance”) – Like Paula Abdul she’s crazy, but unlike Paula, seems to acutely aware of that and actually makes some sense. On the downside … that signature scream that erupts from nowhere and makes you scramble for the mute button.
1. Simon Cowell (“American Idol”) – Yup, he’s conceited, abrasive, aggressive, and acerbic. But, love him or hate him, you’ve got to admit … there’s no show without him.
– MSNBC

BS SOCIAL STUDIES:
• Blondes have a bad reputation for being ditzy but they may make the best drivers. Australian research has found that guys and girls who describe themselves as ‘fair-haired’ have fewer car crashes than brunettes and redheads of both genders.
• Your screen name is the digital age’s premiere form of identity, psychologist Robert Butterworth claims. The heck with your real name or phone number, your screen name is now your first impression.
• Planning to shack up with your guy? Beware! Recent research shows that while cohabitation boosts a man’s mental health, it can actually send a woman’s psychological state into a downward spiral.

THE BOSS IS WATCHING:
Software giant Microsoft has filed a patent application for Big Brother-style software that could keep tabs on workers’ productivity, health, and competence. Wireless sensors would measure employees’ heart rates, body temperature, blood pressure, and even facial expressions. (Presumably the software will also know how much time they squander on Facebook during work hours.)
– “GQ”

FOR THE RECORD:
• The ‘World’s Highest Bungy Jump’ has been built atop the Macau Tower in Macau, China. The 233-meter (760-ft) plunge is specially designed so that you fall as close to the concrete tower as possible … for that extra freaky experience.
NET: http://www.macautower.com.mo/eng/press/20061217.asp#mce_temp_url#
– “Curious Times”
• Researchers in Houston TX who have created the ‘Darkest Material on Earth’ may get a listing in the “Guinness Book of World Records”. Minute tubes of tightly rolled carbon were combined to create the substance that is said to be so black, it absorbs 99.9% of light. Black is indeed the new black!
– “Times of London”

DID YOU KNOW?
• If you hit it hard enough with a hammer, a diamond will shatter. (Kids, don’t try this at home … especially with mommy’s engagement ring.)
• Potatoes, sweet potatoes, and yams are botanically unrelated. (But they’re all ‘living together’ in our spud bin at home.)
• Before the year 1,000, the word ‘she’ did not exist in the English language. (Women were simply referred to as ‘your highness’.)

BS CHRONOMETER 01.17.08

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [69] Maury Povich, Washington DC, TV talk show host (“The Maury Povich Show” since 1991)/Mr Connie Chung since 1984

1942 [66] Muhammad Ali, Louisville KY, 3-time heavyweight boxing champ with career record of 56-5 including 37 KOs and 19 successful title defenses for $69-million total earnings/Parkinson’s victim

1955 [53] Steve Earle, Hampton VA, alt-country singer (“Copperhead Road”, “Guitar Town”)

1962 [46] Jim Carrey, Newmarket ON, movie actor (“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”, “Bruce Almighty”)

1969 [39] Naveen Andrews, London UK, TV actor (‘Sayid Jarrah’ on “Lost” since 2004)

1971 [37] Kid Rock (Robert James Ritchie), Romeo MI, country/rock singer (“So Hott”, “Picture”)

1982 [26] Amanda Wilkinson, Belleville ON, country singer (The Wilkinsons-“Jimmy’s Got a Girlfriend”)/TV comedy-reality show personality (CMT’s “The Wilkinsons”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Get to Know Your Customer Day”, a reminder about how important good customer service is for any business.

• “Judgment Day”, a day to look at yourself in the mirror and see how you’re doing on your New Year’s resolutions. Some dissenting folk somewhere have named this “Ditch New Years Resolutions Day”, a day to be honest with yourself and admit that you’re never gonna do it … whatever it was.

• “St Anthony Day”, honoring the patron saint of domestic animals. That’s why TODAY is also the annual “Blessing of the Animals” at the Cathedral in Mexico City, when chickens, cows and house pets decorated with flowers are on parade.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1995 [13] Shania Twain releases her first hit single, “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1795 [213] 1st ‘Curling Club’ organized, the Dudingston Curling Society in Edinburgh, Scotland (and the next day, the 1st skip suffers a severe hangover)

1996 [12] Ottawa Senators play 1st game in new 18,000-seat ‘Palladium’ (later known as ‘Corel Centre’ and now renamed ‘Scotiabank Place’)

1874 [134] 1st well-known Siamese twins Chang and Eng, who are joined at the chest, die at 63 (after years of touring with the PT Barnum Show, they retired to 2 farms in North Carolina, married 2 sisters and raised 2 families – ALTERNATING nights between farms!)

1995 [13] NFL’s Los Angeles Rams announce move to St Louis

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Winnie the Pooh Day
[Fri] “Cloverfield”; “Mad Money”; “27 Dresses” open in movie theaters
[Sat] International Sing-Out Day
[Sat] Penguin Awareness Day
[Sun] Philately Day
[Mon] Martin Luther King Day
[Mon] Hugging Day
[Mon] Squirrel Appreciation Day
[Tues] Academy Award nominations announced
This Week Is … Home Office Safety & Security Week
This Month Is … Personal Self-Defense Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

LOONEY CANADIAN LAWS:
Really dumb laws that should be stricken from the books …
• In Quesnel BC, one may not exercise in a manner frightening to a horse.
• Wildlife may not be hunted with flashlights in Alberta.
• It’s illegal for a teenager to walk down the street in Fort Qu’Appelle SK with a shoe untied .
• Living in a streetcar is illegal in Thompson MB.
• In Wawa ON, it’s against the law to paint a ladder.
• In Montréal QC, it’s illegal to swear in French. English is cool.
• Taxi drivers in Halifax NS are legally required to wear socks.
• In Alberta, it’s illegal to set fire to a wooden leg … especially when someone’s wearing it.

• In Tennessee. it’s illegal to sell bologna on Sundays.
• In Michigan, it’s against the law for a lady to lift her skirt more than 6 inches when walking through a mud puddle.
• It’s illegal to hunt moths under street lights in Los Angeles.
• In Chaseville NY, it’s against the law to drive a goat cart past a church … in a ‘ridiculous manner’.
• In Louisiana, a barber may not charge a bald man more than 25 cents for a haircut.
• It’s against the law in Virginia to call someone on the telephone and not say anything.
• In West Virginia, only babies may ride in baby carriages.
• In Minnesota, you can be jailed for standing in front of a moving train.

BS PHONE STARTER:
Should it be illegal to make an ‘intimate’ video without informing your partner about it? (Italy’s top court has just ruled that it’s okay … as long as it isn’t distributed to other people.)

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The only short meetings are when no one shows up.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to a recent survey, women are more likely to eat THIS than men.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Food that’s fallen on the floor.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.


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