Monday, January 7, 2008        Edition: #3683
Sweet Sheet!

SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
Happy New Year! All paid-up subscribers have received account credits for missed service days during our holiday hiatus.

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• After a little more than 24 hours at LA’s Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, Britney Spears has been released from the hospital, despite previous reports she was to be held under a minimum 3-day lockdown for physical and psychological testing. She made her exit early SATURDAY accompanied by none other than talk show host Dr Phil McGraw. She’s now lost all custody rights to her kids, at least until the next court hearing. (Why not just strap a helmet-cam to her head and air the results 24/7 on TV while the writers’ strike continues?)
– TMZ.com
• The Screen Actors Guild has announced that none of this year’s 72 acting nominees will attend the 65th “Golden Globe Awards” as a show of solidarity with the striking Writers’ Guild. So far NBC-TV continues to promise the ceremony will air in primetime JANUARY 13th as scheduled. (Makes you wonder … what would a star-less awards ceremony look like?)
– “E! News“
• Now in it’s 18th season, “Law & Order” is the 2nd-longest-running US TV show of all-time, behind the vintage Western series “Gunsmoke” (1955-75). It’s already spawned 2 spin-off series and now another is set to debut in Britain. “Law & Order: London” has been given a 13-episode greenlight by the UK’s ITV network. (The format’s the same except everyone in court wears a wig.)
– “GQ”
• Movie actor Eddie Murphy is said to be branching out, setting up his own record label. His first signing is reportedly Karrine ‘Superhead’ Steffans. (She apparently has other talents besides singing.)
– PopBitch.com
• A Garland TX woman has apologized for her ‘bad decision’ in helping her 6-year-old daughter win tickets to a Miley Cyrus concert with an essay that falsely claims the girl’s father died in Iraq. The misguided mom says she hadn’t intended to mislead the contest sponsor but got caught up in helping her daughter ‘realize her dream’. (When seeing “Hannah Montana” has become the ultimate ‘dream’, something’s out of whack.)
– AP
• In an unusual act of unity emerging from the Hollywood writers’ strike, Jay Leno (NBC) and Jimmy Kimmel (ABC) will appear on each others’ show this THURSDAY. The late-night talk show hosts have apparently struck up a personal acquaintance in recent weeks. Both returned to air LAST WEEK after sitting out 2 months due to the ongoing strike. (The real reason for the stunt … it’s really tough to get A-list guests to cross the picket line.)
– “New York Times”

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – She’s reported to be considering a duet with Kanye West at the “Grammy Awards” FEBRUARY 10th, where she’s nominated for 6 trophies. She hasn’t performed live since cancelling all her remaining tour dates last NOVEMBER.
• Jay-Z – Rumor has it he’s on the verge of signing a unique deal with Apple that would see his music released solely through the iTunes music store. He’s already announced he’s stepping down from his role as president of Def Jam Records.
• Jessica Simpson – She says she’s been collaborating with Nashville songwriters and will release a country album sometime later THIS YEAR.
• Josh Groban – Nielsen Music ranks him the biggest-selling solo artist of ‘07, with sales greater than 4.8 million albums.
• Kenny Chesney – He’s become the only act to ever sell more than 1 million concert tickets in the USA in 2 consecutive years, according to year-end figures from “Pollstar”.
• Natalie Imbruglia – The Australian singer (“Torn”) has announced she’s separated from her 4-year husband, Silverchair frontman Daniel Johns. They had been a couple since 1999.
• Stephen Stills – He’s recovering from successful surgery for prostate cancer and remains scheduled to attend the JANUARY 25th premiere of the Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young film “CSNY / Deja Vu” at the Sundance Film Festival. The movie, directed by Neil Young under the pseudonym ‘Bernard Shakey’, chronicles the group’s 2006 “Freedom of Speech” tour.
• Steve Holy – A pair of Dallas cops are accused of holding him and a friend at gunpoint during a game of foosball. It seems that, after a night of partying, the off-duty police officers refused to believe that the “Brand New Girlfriend” singer was actually a country star.
• Tim McGraw – He’s said to be considering running for governor in his native Tennessee. The plan would be to succeed Democratic Governor Phil Bredesen when his 2nd term ends in 2010.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Border” – A new 13-part drama series debuts which focuses on the challenges faced by Canada’s Immigration & Customs Security Squad. James McGowan plays the head of the team, Sofia Milos co-stars as his liaison with US Homeland Security (CBC).
• “Critics Choice Awards” – The 13th annual movie awards as selected by the Broadcast Film Critics Association. Comic actor DL Hughley hosts live from Santa Monica CA (VH1).
NET: http://tinyurl.com/2a69w8
• “Dance War: Bruno vs Carrie Ann” – “Dancing with the Stars” 2nd-season celebrity champ Drew Lachey hosts the debut of this new competition in which 2 teams of dancers – one led by Bruno Tonioli, the other by Carrie Ann Inaba – face off each week (ABC/CTV).
NET: http://abc.go.com/primetime/dancewar/index?pn=index
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” – Velvet Revolver performs (ABC/CityTV).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” – TONIGHT’s musical guest is Morrissey (NBC).
• “NCAA BCS National Title Football Game” – The annual NCAA college football champion is decided as Ohio State faces LSU at the Sugar Bowl in New Orleans LA (FOX).
NET: http://www.allstatesugarbowl.org/homepage.php

2008 CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW:
TODAY through Thursday the world’s largest consumer technology show invades Las Vegas as some 2,700 exhibitors unveil the latest in electronic gizmos & gadgets.This is the show where many commonly used devices were first introduced (VCR in 1970, DVD in 1996, HDTV in 1998, Xbox in 2001). TODAY Yoko Ono and recording artists Natasha Bedingfield, will.i.am from Black Eyed Peas, and Pat Monahan of Train unveil an all new ‘John Lennon Educational Tour Bus’. Other celebs scheduled to preview products at the show include actor Kevin Costner and singer Mary J Blige. Among this year’s other expected innovations …
• The largest-ever plasma TV screen (150 inches).
• The first TV that receives wireless streaming from a high-definition signal.
• A pocket-sized mini-projector that stores and enables onscreen presentations.
• An interactive remote control robot that keeps an eye on your home while you’re out of town.
• The TeraDisc which holds a half-terabyte (500 gigabytes) of data, or about 20 hi-def movies.
• A mobile-device memory chip that’s smaller than a penny and weighs less than a drop of water.
• GM’s self-driving ‘Boss’ SUV.
(How about a meter for your cellphone to tell you how much money you’re spending?)
– “Newsday”

MICKEY SAYS NO KIDS ALLOWED:
Beginning THIS WEEK, children under 10 are banned at Disney World! At least, they’re no longer welcome at Victoria & Albert’s in the Grand Floridian Resort, Disney World’s only restaurant with a 5-diamond rating. The idea is to preserve the eatery as an ‘adult experience’. Not that the new rule will change much – only about 3 families a month ever brought in young children. Perhaps that’s because the venue’s 7-course dinners can last 3 hours and prices start at $125 per person. (“Eat your escalopes de veau, Billy, or there’ll be no crème brûlée for dessert!”)
– CTV News

‘I DO’ NOT NECESSARY FOR YOU:
Highlights of a new Zogby International online poll conducted for AOL Personals …
• 44% of respondents aged 20-to-69 say they don’t think marriage is necessary to validate relationships.
• A majority of participants say they would prefer to live together first before marriage.
• Most respondents say marriage should truly be ‘till death do us part’, especially those in their 30s (73%).
• Although 20-somethings say they are open to experimenting with relationships, they are also more likely to end a partnership over infidelity as compared to respondents in their 50s and 60s. Older respondents are more comfortable accepting infidelity as ‘a part of life’.
• As people age, they are more likely to believe that more than one ‘soul mate’ exists.
• A majority of those polled say they would date someone their friends found unattractive.
– Reuters

NEW SPECIES FOUND IN PARADISE LOST:
Scientists have discovered 11 new species of animals and plants in a remote region of Costa Rica. Among the finds are 2 types of frogs, 6 new plant species, and 3 salamanders with ‘ballistic’ tongues that can shoot out, catch insects and reel them back in, all in a mere 7 milliseconds. The hidden tropical Eden has also been found to contain some 5,300 previously catalogued species. (Construction of the first tourist resort begins Thursday.)
– “Times of London”

THINGS TO SAY YES TO IN 2008:
Suggested instances when you should forego the expectation that you go with the flow …
• Call out that flaky friend that’s always late or cancels at the last minute. Quit letting them waste your time!
• Pay a pro to tackle a chore you hate. Do yourself a favor and DON’T do-it-yourself.
• Take a 2-week vacation. More than a third of people who work fail to use all of their vacation time, according to research by Families & Work Institute. Don’t be a burnout victim!
• Delete your entire inbox. Set aside 2 hours to plow through that overflowing email folder. File only what you absolutely need and jettison the rest of the e-junk.
• Ask someone new out on a ‘friend date’. Actively pursuing new friends should be a positive experience.
• Indulge yourself by buying one luxury item. Splurging on quality isn’t a bad investment. And it can leave you happier longer than always purchasing only what’s practical.
• Master the art of ‘mono-tasking’. Focus on one thing at a time. You’ll be amazed at how much more you’ll accomplish!
– “Cosmopolitan”

THE DEVIL YOU SAY:
The Polish Catholic Church has announced plans to open its first exorcism center in the town of Poczernin, Poland. The center will be staffed by a psychiatrist and several of Poland’s 50 working excorcists. Catholic priest Andrzej Trojanowski expects a booming business as he deals with up to 20 people per week who believe they are possessed. The center also expects brisk business from Germans, as there isn’t a single exorcist in all of Germany. (It’s not confirmed whether they’ll be offering gift certificates for “Mother-in-Law’s Day”.)
– En.Rian.Ru

CONTAINING THE COMMON COLD:
Experts believe there is no link between cold weather and catching colds. So why are we particularly vulnerable in winter? One reason may be we’re more likely to stay indoors, so the virus can spread easily. While there is no cure for the common cold and antibiotics are of no help, there are some precautions which can help …
• Wash your hands regularly, so that germs get killed.
• Don’t touch your eyes, nose and mouth, which can limit your chances of infection.
• Don’t share drinking glasses or utensils with anyone as this will prevent the spread of the virus.
• Drink lots of fluids to avoid dehydration.
• Make sure to eat enough fruits to boost your immune system.
• Get enough sleep and you’ll certainly feel better.
– “China Daily”

COOL NEWS:
Is it possible that global warming stopped about 7 years ago and we’re just finding out about it now? According to honest-to-goodness scientists, average global temperatures in 2007 were pretty much the same as 2006 and every other year since 2001. While a rapid warming trend did occur between 1980 and 1998, when average global temperatures rose by about 0.5 degrees Celsius (setting off the climate change hysteria), some experts now say the warming couldn’t possibly be due to any greenhouse effect because the warming has come to a standstill over the past decade. (Yee-haw, I’m trading my Prius hybrid in on a Ford F-250!)
– “Curious Times”

HOW TO PICK IT:
According to a recent poll, here are what we consider the most important factors when choosing a name for a baby …
• The sound of the name. (54%)
• The name’s uniqueness. (30%)
• Honoring a friend or family member. (8%)
• Naming after a parent. (6%)
• The popularity of the name. (1%)
• Naming after a celebrity. (0.6%)
– BabyNames.com

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• A survey of Italian women has found that salami is their favorite aphrodisiac, followed closely by … a good piece of cheese.
– UPI
• Convinced that you pack on 5 or 10 lbs from holiday season pig-outs each year? Truth is, most people are only 1-lb heavier by the first part of JANUARY.
– National Institutes of Health
• JANUARY is the month when most divorces are filed.
– Scripps Howard News Service

BS CHRONOMETER 01.07.08

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [62] Jann Wenner, NYC, magazine publisher (“Rolling Stone”, “Us Weekly”)

1948 [60] Kenny Loggins, Everett WA, oldies singer (“Footloose”, “This is It”)

1956 [52] David Caruso, Forest Hills NY, TV actor (‘Lieutenant Horatio Caine’ on “CSI: Miami” since 2002, “NYPD Blue” 1993-94)

1957 [51] Katie Couric, Arlington VA, TV news anchor (“The CBS Evening News” since 2007, NBC’s “Today Show” 1991-2007)

1964 [44] Nicolas Cage (Coppola), Long Beach CA, movie actor (“National Treasure”, Oscar-“Leaving Las Vegas”)/ex-husband of Patricia Arquette & Lisa Marie Presley/movie director Francis Ford Coppola’s nephew

1965 [43] John Ondrasik, LA CA, pop singer (Five For Fighting-“The Riddle”, “100 Years”)

1974 [34] John Rich, Amarillo TX, country singer (Big & Rich-“Lost in This Moment”, ex-Lonestar-“Amazed”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Clean-Off-Your-Desk Day”. C,mon once a year wouldn’t kill ya! Need a shovel?
• “I’m Not Going to Take It Anymore Day”. From now on, I’m paying for stuff like everybody else!
• “Old Rock Day”. We’re unsure whether it’s about classic hits or mineral deposits. But don’t take it for granite!
• “Organize Your Home Day”. Even better, have some TV show do it for you!
• “Orthodox Christmas” or “Julian Calendar Christmas” in many countries worldwide.
• “Show & Tell Day at Work”, a chance to partake in the old kindergarten ritual with co-workers.
• “Thank God It’s Monday Day”. Cuz I sure couldn’t survive Saturday night again!

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1958 [50] Gibson patents the famous ‘Flying V’ guitar

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1992 [16] 1st ‘video-telephone’ goes on sale ($1,499)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1964 [44] Pro bowler Dick Weber rolls the highest-ever bowling game … aboard an airliner

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] 34th People’s Choice Awards
[Tues] Elvis Presley’s Birthday
[Tues] Bubble Bath Day
[Tues] Eat Something Raw Day
[Tues] Volunteer Fireman’s Day
[Wed] Play God Day
[Thurs] BS Egg Balancing Day
[Thurs] “Celebrity Rehab With Dr Drew” debuts (VH1)
[Thurs] Muharram (Islamic New Year)

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Bowling Week / Celebration of Life Week / Someday We’ll Laugh About This Week / Thank-Your-Customers Week / Word Processing Transcriptionist Week

BULL’S BITS      

BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 15 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues ….
ACTUAL BIZARRE SEX PRACTICES:
• Agalmatophilia . . . Attraction to statues or mannequins.
• Anasteemaphilia . . . Attraction to a person because of difference in height.
• Axillism . . . The use of the armpit for sex.
• Dacryphilia . . . Arousal from seeing tears in the eyes of a partner.
• Dendrophilia . . . Attraction to trees.
• Emetophilia . . . Arousal from vomit or vomiting.
• Formicophilia . . . Enjoyment of the use of insects for sexual purposes.
• Nasophilia . . . Arousal from the sight, touch, licking or sucking of a partner’s nose.
• Oculolinctus . . . The act of licking a partner’s eyeball.
• Tapherphilia . . . Arousal from being buried alive. (Trouble is, it only works once!)

BS PHONE STARTER:
How much money would it take to buy everything you think you’d need in order to be happy? (In a recent survey, the average amount listed is $4.8 million.)

BS WEB GOODIE:
Here’s a site where users upload all kinds of sound bites that are available for your use gratis. It’s sort of the LimeWire of sound effects. Perfect for drop-ins and production pieces.
NET: http://www.the-earchives.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I used to exercise. Now I just hold in my stomach.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: More men than women find it easy to do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Stick to New Year’s resolutions.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It’s hard to be a pacifist when so many people need to be punched in the nose.

WELCOME NEWBIES:
As we kick off our new BS season, we’re servicing these samplers: Craig Fox @ Country 107.3 [CJDL] Tillsonburg ON; Bobby Quinn @ WARM 103.3 York PA; Richie Don @ Star 105.7 [WMRV] Endwell NY; Jamie Barber @ CHAY 93.1 Oakville ON; Gary Nolan @ The Eagle 93.9 [KSSZ] Columbia MO; and Daniel Proussalidis @ CFRA Ottawa ON. Welcome all!


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