Tuesday, January 29, 2019 Edition: #6382
We Give a Sheet!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ The Emma Thompson and Mindy Kaling comedy “Late Night” is already one of the biggest hits of the 2019 Sundance Film Festival, with an acquisition price to match. Amazon Studios has purchased the U.S. distribution rights for US$13 million, a record for the festival. “Late Night” follows a veteran talk show host played by Thompson who’s facing declining ratings, possible cancellation and a reputation for not liking women. Kaling wrote the script and plays the “diversity hire” who has no qualifications except an undying love for Thompson’s character.
-Canoe
★ Ever since it was announced that Keanu Reeves will be voicing a character in Pixar’s upcoming “Toy Story 4”, fans have been wondering exactly what role he will be playing. According to reports, Reeves is voicing a character named ‘Duke Kaboom’, who “hails from a place where discontinued toys are sent.” Apparently, before Bo Peep (voiced by Annie Potts) falls victim to a yard sale, she turns to Duke for help after her sheep have been taken from her. It sounds like his character will be a riff on video game character Duke Nukem. Toy Story 4 is set for release on June 21.
-GeekTyrant
★ Beth Chapman and Dog the Bounty Hunter are new great-grandparents. Beth – who’s fighting for her life amid a battle with cancer – couldn’t be happier. In an Instagram post, she wrote: “My first great grand baby, he’s adorable and he’s precious and he came 5 weeks early to meet me.” She included a photo of herself cradling newborn boy, Dakota, in a Honolulu hospital. She wrote to her stepson Leland: “Congratulations on the birth of your first…it just gets better”.
-DailyMail
★ Prince Philip has finally apologized to the woman who broke her wrist when the car she was in collided with the Land Rover he was driving. The 97-year-old husband of Queen Elizabeth wrote to Emma Fairweather, saying he was “deeply sorry” that she was hurt in the Jan. 17 crash, and wishing her a speedy recovery. He also wrote, “I can only imagine that I failed to see the car coming, and I am very contrite about the consequences.”
-PageSix
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Viola Davis, Charles P. Pierce, Cypress Hill
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Matthew Broderick, Maddie Ziegler, Yo Gotti featuring Lil Baby
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Chris Christie, Yvette Nicole Brown
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Rosie O’Donnell, Nicolle Wallace, DaniLeigh, Brendan Buckley
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Regina Hall, Eugene Levy, Charlie Day
• “Conan” (TBS): Gina Rodriguez
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Jerry O’Connell, Rebecca Romijn
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Howard Schultz
• “The Talk” (CBS): Marcia Gay Harden, guest co-host Vanessa L. Williams
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Matthew Broderick, Padma Lakshmi, Terry & Heather Dubrow
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Courteney Cox, Christina Aguilera, Lizzo
• “Super Bowl Greatest Commercials 2019” (CBS): A look at the best commercials to air during past Super Bowls, with viewers choosing the top spot. Also: a preview of the 2019 commercials.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Justin Bieber – He and Hailey Baldwin are apparently having second thoughts about their wedding. They have reportedly cancelled their nuptials for a third time, and an insider says that while they are legally married as a result of their courthouse ceremony, “At this rate, they may never have a church wedding.”
• Halsey — will pull double duty as host and musical guest on Saturday Night Live on Feb. 9. She tweeted that she is “to excited to sleep.” And later that she is apparently also “*Too excited for good grammar.”
• Ariana Grande — has broken the UK record for the most streams of a song in a week. Her ‘7 Rings’ hit #1 on the charts while being streamed 16.9 milllion times in the UK last week, surpassing Mariah Carey’s 15.3m plays in a week in December 2018 for ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’.
• Third Eye Blind – will hit the road with Jimmy Eat World for the “Summer Gods Tour”. It starts June 14th in Los Angeles and circles the U.S. before concluding August 3rd in Irvine, California.
• Boy George – says that modern culture lacks ”original thought”. Quote: ”Every time I come out to promote something, I’m answering the same questions over and over. I’m fascinated by how little original thought there is in the world.”
• Luke Bryan – After his “Crash My Playa” festival in Mexico, he had a little crash of his own. In a video posted Sunday, he laughingly explains that when they pulled out of the resort, “all of a sudden, the hatch happens.” In other words, the hatch flew open and he and his family’s luggage was strewn all over the highway.
• Terry Jennings — The oldest son of country icon Waylon Jennings died Friday at the age of 62. In 2017, he released a book, “Waylon: Tales of My Outlaw Dad”. Jennings was on the road with his father beginning when he was a teenager.
THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “The Wife” (R-Rated, Drama): A wife questions her life choices as she travels to Stockholm with her husband, where he is slated to receive the Nobel Prize for Literature. (Glenn Close, Jonathan Pryce)
• “The Nutcracker and the Four Realms” (PG, Action/Family): A young girl is transported into a magical world of gingerbread soldiers and an army of mice. (Mackenzie Foy, Keira Knightley, Morgan Freeman)
• “Nobody’s Fool” (R-Rated, Comedy): A woman is released from prison and reunites with her sister. She soon discovers that her sister is in an online relationship with a man who may not be what he seems. (Tiffany Haddish, Missi Pyle)
• “Indivisible” (PG-13, Drama): The extraordinary true story of Army Chaplain Darren Turner and his wife Heather. When war etches battle scars on their hearts, they face one more battle: the fight to save their marriage. (Sarah Drew, Justin Bruening)
LESS IS MOWER:
A settlement has been reached in a class action suit involving eight lawnmower companies, who were accused of making their machines louder than necessary so they would seem more powerful. Nearly 40 different brands made by eight manufacturers are included. The makers of gas-powered mowers were accused of overstating the horsepower ratings of some of their products sold in Canada between 1994-2012, and of conspiring to make their products sound more powerful in order to justify charging customers more money. The settlement does not represent an admission of guilt. People who provide proof of their lawnmower purchase and its advertised horsepower will be eligible for between $20 and $55.
Details and models affected here: http://www.lawnmowersettlement.ca/faq.aspx
(I’m pretty sure my neighbor, Mr. Sunday-morning Mow, has one of those!)
(If louder means more powerful, those kids driving around in old Honda Civics must be packing about 400 horsepower!)
(Do you buy a mower because it is REALLY LOUD, or because it is really quiet?)
-YahooFinance, CTV, Global
GET AROUND TO READING THIS TOMORROW:
Here are those beautiful words that you were hoping to hear: Being lazy is good for you. An article in Time magazine points to research done by Consciousness and Cognition which says that in a world of constant distraction, we rarely take time to truly put our “mental feet” up. Instead, we spend our spare time bouncing between what we think are fun distractions — checking our email, reading the news, to surfing Facebook, etc., and these activities often make us even more tired. What the research shows is that spending some focusing on nothing in particular is just as important to productivity as being “in focus”, although in different ways. While focusing makes us more productive, unfocusing makes us more creative. They say that allowing your mind to wander results in three critical things: it rests and restores your brain, which allows you to focus more deeply later, it allows you to plan for the future and think about long-term goals, and it encourages you to unearth ideas or creative insights that you may never have come up with were it not for giving your brain some much-deserved downtime. So, for your own good, be lazy once in a while…
(Laziness can be good for you. And I’m living proof that there can be too much of a good thing!)
(You can’t teach people lazy – either they have it, or they don’t…)
(That’s why I always seem to get my great ideas in the shower. The problem is there is no pen and paper handy to write it down…)
-Time
BEST AND WORST SUPER BOWL HALFTIME PERFORMANCES EVER:
Worst . . .
✗ Gloria Estefan & Olympic Figure Skaters, 1992: The theme in Minnesota was “Winter Magic”, but it featured a latin dance band. They weren’t able to “Turn the Beat Around.”
✗ Blues Brothers, 1997: Their blues and soul fell flat. When James Brown showed up, it could have been great, but it was a “day late, dollar short.”
✗ Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye, 1995: Patti LaBelle, Tony Bennett, Miami Sound Machine and an actor playing Indiana Jones all participated, and The Bleacher Report called it “the craziest, weirdest, most unbelievable—and many would say the worst—Super Bowl halftime show ever.”
✗ Black Eyed Peas, 2011: Even with Slash joining them for ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’, Rolling Stone wrote: “You instantly knew you were witnessing something magical and special – like seeing a unicorn cough up blood.”
Best . . .
✓ Rolling Stones, 2006: The greybeards proved they could still rock a stadium, and Mick Jagger joked before singing “Satisfaction: “This one we could have done for Super Bowl I.”
✓ Katy Perry and Missy Elliott, 2015: A Vegas-style show, wild dancing palm trees…and then the big reveal: a dark silhouette, a snippet of ‘Get Ur Freak On’, and Missy Elliott…her first appearance in years. Plus: Left Shark.
✓ Beyoncé, 2013: Started with her silhouette lit on fire, then she appeared from a cloud of smoke and started wailing her hits…Then there was that Destiny’s Child’s reunion…
✓ U2, 2002: It was five months after 9/11. They paid tribute to the US’ loss during ‘Where the Streets Have No Name’ with a scrolling backdrop featuring the names of all of the victims, and as Bono finished the song, he opened his jacket to reveal the stars and stripes in its lining.
✓ (***CAUTION: Ass***) Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake, 2004: Billboard wrote: “Bedazzled breast or not, you have to admit that J&J put on a pretty kick-ass show. It’s a shame all anyone remembers is the last two seconds.”
-Condensed from Idolator
DID YOU KNOW?
You get more food by ordering one 18-inch pizza than two 12-inch pizzas. An 18-incher delivers 254 square inches of dinner/snack/breakfast, while two 12-inch pies only total 226 square inches.
(None left for breakfast!)
-Buzzfeed
BS CHRONOMETER 01.29.19
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [79] Katharine Ross, Los Angeles CA, movie actress (“The Graduate”, “The Stepford Wives”)
1945 [74] Tom Selleck, Detroit MI, TV actor (‘Frank Reagan’ on “Blue Bloods” since 2010, “Magnum, P.I.” 1980-86)/movie actor (“Three Men & a Baby”)
1954 [65] Oprah Winfrey, Kosciusko MS, TV network mogul (OWN)/TV talk show host (“Oprah” 1986-2011)/movie producer-actress (“Selma”)/magazine publisher (“O”)/“Queen of All Media”
1968 [51] Ed Burns, Queens NY, movie actor (“Saving Private Ryan”)/movie producer-director (“She’s the One”)
1970 [49] Heather Graham, Milwaukee WI, movie actress (“The Hangover” movies, “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me”) COMING UP…”The Rest of Us” 2019
1975 [44] Sara Gilbert, Santa Monica CA, TV personality (“The Talk” since 2010)/TV actress (“Big Bang Theory” 2007-10, “Roseanne” 1988-97, 2018), “The Conners” since 2018)
1977 [42] Justin Hartley, Knoxville IL, TV actor (“This Is Us” since 2016)
1982 [37] Adam Lambert, Indianapolis IN, pop singer (‘Whataya Want from Me’)/2009 “American Idol” runner-up/“Queen + Adam Lambert” singer
1983 [36] Eric Paslay, Abilene TX, country singer (‘She Don’t Love You’, ‘Friday Night’)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Corn Chip Day”. The corn chip is made from cornmeal which is baked or fried in oil. Although it originated in Mexico, the US patent was granted in 1932. (***Ask listeners to put a half-dozen in their mouth and whistle a tune***)
• “Curmudgeons Day”, an annual celebration of the crusty, yet insightful, wags who consistently apply the needle of truth to the balloons of hypocrisy and social norms. Celebrated on the birthday of late comedian WC Fields, one of the all-time most beloved curmudgeons.
• “Seeing Eye Dog Day”, commemorating ‘The Seeing Eye’, North America’s first guide dog school which opened in Nashville, Tennessee on this date in 1929.
• “Puzzle Day”, celebrating one of our all-time favorite pastimes. What’s your favorite: Jigsaw or Crossword?
• “National Carnation Day”, this day honors the memory of President William McKinley. The carnation was said to be McKinley’s favorite flower, and he always wore one in his lapel.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Croissant Day
[Wed] Yodel for Your Neighbors Day
[Thurs] Backwards Day
[Thurs] Hot Chocolate Day
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2009 [10] Kelly Clarkson makes the largest leap to date in “Billboard Hot 100” chart history, rising 96 places to #1 with ‘My Life Would Suck Without You’
2014 [05] Over 100,000 Americans sign a petition to deport Canadian citizen Justin Bieber out of the USA after his arrest for DUI and driving without a valid license (doesn’t happen)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1936 [83] 1st members of Baseball Hall of Fame announced in Cooperstown NY: Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner, Christy Matthewson, and Walter Johnson
1963 [56] 1st members of NFL Hall of Fame announced in Canton OH, including Jim Thorpe, Red Grange, and George Halas
BULL’S BITS
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ If you point your car fob to your head, it increases the remote’s signal range. This works by using your brain to act as a radio transmitter.
✓ The spiked dog collar was invented by the Ancient Greeks to protect their dogs from wolf attacks.
✓ The color red doesn’t really make bulls angry; they are color-blind.
✓ Opposites attract” is a common myth. People are actually attracted to people who look like family members, or those with a similar personality type.
✓ A single strand of Spaghetti is called a “Spaghetto”.
✓ The word “kimono”, literally means “thing to wear”.
-TheFactSite
Best of BS . . .
BS LEAST INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES:
• You may not have succeeded, but you were at the top of the list of those that failed.
• You may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but you’re still a tool.
• The ground’s the limit.
• If a door closes…open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.
• Don’t walk before me for I will not follow. Don’t walk behind me for I will not lead. Just stay 100 yards away from me. The restraining order is very specific.
• Be yourself. Nobody else wants to be you.
• Go ahead. Have the piece of cake. You’re gonna be fat either way.
• Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after that.
• Creativity is contagious, pass it on. Once you have some.
• I have a dream. Then I wake up, use the bathroom, and go back to bed.
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018
BS PONDERABLES:
• What was Captain Hook’s name before he got the hook?
• How can one person be “dirt poor”, and another “filthy rich”?
• If Mars had earthquakes, would they be called marsquakes?
• Can you plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
• If you speak only one language, are you lingual?
• Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
• How does a real estate company sell its office?
• Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11?
-CrazyThoughts
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What fictional death affected you the most?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: More than 35% of women say they hate it when a guy does THIS while he’s trying to be romantic. What?
Answer: Blows in her ear.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Apologies don’t mean anything if you keep doing what you’re sorry for.
