Monday, January 16, 2017 – Edition: #5890

It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ A new season of cult TV comedy “Arrested Development” is closer to becoming a reality on Netflix now that the cast has agreed to their salaries. It’s been nearly 2 years since Netflix announced it was hoping to produce a 5th season. “Arrested Development” has previously aired for 3 seasons on FOX-TV (2003-05), with Season 4 debuting on Netflix in 2013. The series’ ensemble cast includes Jason Bateman, Michael Cera, Portia de Rossi, Jeffrey Tambor, Tony Hale, Will Arnett, and Jessica Walter.
– TheWrap.com
★ Amy Schumer is heading back to TV … sorta. The Emmy-winning creator of Comedy Central’s “Inside Amy Schumer” is taking her stand-up act to Netflix. The new comedy special was filmed November 5th at Bellco Theater in Denver CO. It premieres globally on Netflix on Tuesday, March 7th. Schumer’s last televised stand-up special, “Amy Schumer: Live At the Apollo”, was directed by Chris Rock and aired on HBO in October 2015. Schumer is also co-starring in the upcoming movie “Snatched” (May 12th) alongside Goldie Hawn.
– “Business Insider”
★ And top Michael Jackson tribute performer Navi is making his acting debut in a new Lifetime-TV biopic about the late King of Pop. “Michael Jackson: Searching for Neverland” is being based on the 2014 book “Remember the Time: Protecting Michael Jackson in His Final Days”, written by his bodyguards Bill Whitfield and Javon Beard. Production on the project is set to begin in Los Angeles next month. The news emerges just hours after UK network Sky Arts has decided to cancel a planned episode of TV comedy “Urban Myths”, which features white actor Joseph Fiennes playing Jackson. After negative reaction to the trailer, the show’s been shelved.
– WENN.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Bachelor” (ABC) – Backstreet Boys make an appearance.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Drive-By Truckers (“American Band”).
• “Ellen” (syndicated/CTV2) – Rae Sremmurd (“SremmLife 2”).
• “Howie Mandel All-Star Comedy Gala” (CW) – Stand-up performances from Jay Pharoah, Iliza Shlesinger, Russell Peters, JB Smoove and more. Filmed at “Just For Laughs Festival” in Montréal QC.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Blink-182 (“California”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – !!! (“As If”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – Shura (“Nothing’s Real”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Nick Grant w/Watch the Duck (“The Trojan Horse”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Bebe Rexha (“All Your Fault”).
• “The Young Pope” (HBO) – Another new episode, following last night’s premiere. Jude Law stars as the fictitious ‘Pius XIII’, an odd pope. Like, really odd. (Preceded by a rerun of episode #1.)

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Little Big Town – Kimberly Schlapman has posted on Facebook that she and her husband Stephen have adopted a baby girl. Dolly Grace is the new little sister for their first daughter, Daisy.
• Madonna – Quote: “I’ll go broke before I drink bad wine.”
• Miley Cyrus – Her frequent collaborator Wayne Coyne (The Flaming Lips) tells “The Guardian” that Miley has taken “plenty” of LSD in her time.
• Nick Jonas – He says ”many babies will be made” to his “Fifty Shades Darker” collaboration with Nicki Minaj. “Bom Bidi Bom” is going to be featured on the soundtrack of the upcoming movie (opening February 10th).
• Nine Inch Nails – Trent Reznor and collaborator Atticus Ross have another high-profile film gig, composing and writing new material for the upcoming PBS documentary “The Vietnam War”. Directed by Ken Burns and Lynn Novick, the 10-part series is airing this September.
• Tim McGraw – He has a starring role in the upcoming movie “The Shack”. He and wife Faith have written “Keep Your Eyes on Me”, a duet that they sing together for the movie. Canadian author William P Young, who wrote the bestseller that the film is based on, thinks the new tune is a perfect fit.
• U2 / Red Hot Chili Peppers / The Weeknd – They’re the 3 headliners announced for the mammoth Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival in June. The 16th annual festival is being held June 8th-11th at Great Stage Park in Manchester TN.

SLOW CHASE:
If OJ Simpson ever gets out of prison, he could again find himself tooling slowly down a highway in a white Ford Bronco … a brand new one. Ford has announced it’s bringing back both the Ranger and Bronco (last made in 1996). This blast from the past follows Fiat Chrysler’s announcement of the return of the Jeep Wagoneer and Grand Wagoneer (last made in 1991). Automakers prefer trucks and SUVs because they’re easier to make and can be sold for more money. Auto industry observers suggest car-makers may be trying to take advantage of Donald Trump’s presidency, which is expected to see an increase in oil production and a rolling back of fuel-economy regulations. (What throwback vehicle would you like to see hit the streets again? 1 mpg Hummer?)
– “USA Today”

SECURE SEATING?
For the first time ever, Air India is offering reserve seating for women on every flight. According to a report, the reservation for women comes at no extra charge. Women who avail the service will be given seats in the front row of every Air India aircraft. This is likely linked to reports last year of male Air India passengers allegedly molesting an air hostess and a passenger in two separate incidents. An Air India rep says the move is “to enhance comfort level to female passengers”, particularly those who travel alone. One dissenter on Twitter asks: “How will reserving 6 seats on an airplane ensure women safety?” In related news, Air India flights will soon have handcuffs to pin down unruly flyers. (Whoa, they’re taking onflight entertainment to a whole new level!)
– HuffingtonPost.com

CRAZY BUT TRUE FACTS ABOUT MOVING INTO THE WHITE HOUSE:
With US president-elect Donald Trump’s inauguration coming up Friday, here are a few interesting tidbits …
✓ The president-elect is responsible for the expense of moving his or her belongings.
✓ The move is organized offsite in intricate detail well beforehand.
✓ There are only 6 hours to transition the White House between presidents.
✓ No outside help is used for security reasons; White House operations & housekeeping personnel handle the move.
✓ The new president gets to redecorate the Oval Office.
✓ The photo gallery outside the Cabinet Room is immediately updated with pics of the new prez.
– Adapted from PopSugar.com

COWS AS BIG AS ELEPHANTS:
Standing nearly as tall as an elephant, the aurochs grazed for 250,000 years until its extinction in 1627. But now scientists say they are close to resurrecting the ‘supercow’, once the largest land mammal in Europe. In search of herbivores to maintain land areas, geneticists began breeding aurochs descendants with similar cattle breeds in 2008 and found they could produce animals far closer to the aurochs than expected. 4th-generation beasts have now been introduced in Croatia, Spain, Portugal, the Czech Republic, and Romania, with promising results. However, there may be risks. A Brit farmer had to kill some of his aurochs-descended cattle in 2015 because … they tried to kill him. (Good luck milking one of these!)
– CNN.com (aka ‘fake news’)

‘BOOZE MUNCHIES’ A THING:
Researchers studying the brain cells responsible for feeling hungry say that alcohol activates them, thereby triggering the urge to eat even though alcohol can be highly caloric. Obesity and heavy drinking play major roles in the development of diabetes, heart disease, and other chronic health issues that affect millions globally. The researchers say this study now ties the two together. It shows that if you have an increased alcohol intake, then you’re going to, as a result of the effect of alcohol on your brain, have an elevated level of food intake. (Watching football, beer, and nachos … this is new?.)
– “Scientific American”

BS AMAZING FACT:
In 2022, you’ll be able to look to the sky and watch two stars colliding 1,800 years ago.
– BBC Science & Technology

BS CHRONOMETER 01.16.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1974 [43] Kate Moss, Addiscomb UK, fashion model who’s appeared on over 300 magazine covers

1980 [37] Lin-Manuel Miranda, NYC, Broadway actor/composer/playwright (“Hamilton”, “In the Heights”)/winner of a Pulitzer Prize, 2 Grammys, an Emmy, and 3 Tony Awards

1980 [37] James Young, Denton TX, country guitarist (Eli Young Band-“Drunk Last Night”, “Crazy Girl”)

1981 [36] Nick Valensi, NYC, rock guitarist (The Strokes-“Last Nite”, “Juicebox”)

1985 [32] Joe Flacco, Audubon NJ, NFL quarterback (Baltimore Ravens since 2008)

1985 [32] Renée Felice Smith, Long Island NY, TV actress (‘Nell Jones’ on “NCIS: Los Angeles” since 2010)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Appreciate a Dragon Day”, celebrating fictional dragons as memorable characters. (Let’s see, there was … uh …)

• “Fig Newton Day”, celebrating the cookie with figs in the middle … the only figs many people ever eat.

• “International Hot & Spicy Food Day”, encouraging us to spice up our lives in order to add some zest to a Winter’s day. What’s the absolute hottest thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?

• “Martin Luther King Day” in America, a federal holiday observed annually on the 3rd Monday of January celebrating the life and achievements of late civil rights leader Dr Martin Luther King Jr (1929-68).

• “Religious Freedom Day”, when you all have the right to believe the same stuff I do.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2011 [06] “The Social Network” is the big winner at the 68th Golden Globes, picking up awards for ‘Best Drama’, ‘Best Director’, ‘Best Screenplay’, and ‘Best Original Score’

2013 [04] Canada’s Cirque du Soleil cuts 400 jobs due to a strong loonie and surging costs

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2009 [08] Boy George (Culture Club) is sentenced to 15 months in prison after being convicted of falsely imprisoning a male escort (word has it he handcuffed him to a radiator)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2006 [11] Africa’s 1st female elected head-of-state, Liberia’s new president Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, is sworn in

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2005 [12] Romanian university lecturer & novelist Adriana Iliescu gives birth at age 66 to a daughter, Eliza, breaking the record for ‘World’s Oldest Birth Mother’

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Chili Days
[Tues] International Mentoring Day
[Tues] Bootleggers Day
[Tues] Rid the World of Fad Diets & Gimmicks Day
[Wed] “People’s Choice Awards” (CBS/Global)

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Activity Professionals Week / Fresh Squeezed Juice Week / Healthy Weight Week / Hunt for Happiness Week / No Name Calling Week / Sugar Awareness Week

BULL’S BITS

BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 23 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
WHAT YOU CAN TELL FROM HER NAIL COLOR:
• Pink is the favorite of women with a romantic side who also make reliable friends.
• Red is worn by natural leaders with strong convictions who want to be noticed.
• Orange nails are for women who seek out trends and like big city life.
• Wild colors like blue & green indicate women with a rebellious streak
• French manicures are worn by those who want to appear groomed but also look like the ‘girl next door’.
• Those who wear no polish at all are self-sufficient but tend to commit themselves to too many projects.
– First published in “BS” 2003.

WHICH IS BETTER?
You run down the list while a caller/studio guest/crew member selects their top choice …
• Movies made out of old school TV shows – OR – TV shows made out of old school movies?
• A handwritten thank-you note on expensive vanilla parchment sent by mail – OR – A 140-character thank-you text using acronyms and emojis dashed off on a smartphone?
• Toothpaste tube rolled up neatly – OR – toothpaste tube squeezed flat and twisted into a sticky mess?
• French-press coffee made from freshly-ground beans – OR – environmentally disastrous lazy-ass K-cup brew?
• Toilet paper roll delivering tissue over the top – OR – mounted disturbingly and incorrectly to deliver tissues underneath?
• Personal gifts for wedding couples – OR – impersonal gift registries where guests cannot comparison shop.
• Watching movies on giant screen in a theater – OR – watching movies on your smartphone while wearing bifocals.
• A vacation baking in the sun on an endless beach – OR – a vacation freezing your tush at a ski resort where you fall on your face … 12 times?
– First published in “BS” 2015.

TRUTH OR BS?
Are the following statement true or just a pile o’ crap?
• English is the world’s most widely spoken language. (BS. Mandarin, with 1.1 billion speakers.)
• A country custom among men in Wales is to paint their toenails for good luck. (BS)
• The Japanese national anthem is expressed in only 4 lines. (TRUE. Whereas the Greek anthem runs 158 verses.)
• The ‘fortune cookie’ was invented in Taiwan. (BS. The fortune cookie is thought to have been invented in 1916 by George Jung, a Los Angeles noodle maker.)
• A ‘momus’ is a person who is always finding fault with others. (TRUE. Named for Momus, the Greek god of mockery.)
• The natives of Antarctica are called the ‘Opomway’ people. (BS. Antarctica has no native population.)

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ “Monopoly” maker Hasbro is asking fans of the classic board game to help choose 8 new tokens for a new ‘Token Madness’ version of the 82-year-old game to be released this Fall. Some of the suggested new “Monopoly” pieces include: a T-Rex, a slice of bread, a jet ski, and … a hashtag. What would you like to see? (We want the top hat back!)

BS RANDOM JOKE:
[Discretion] What’s the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? No-one has ever paid to have a lentil on their face.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The Irish have been known to eat THIS to fight the common cold.
Answer: Seaweed.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Anybody can win … unless there happens to be a second entry.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Richard Sergeant @ RTS Media, Callaghan, Australia; Monica Nelson @ Hot 97.5 [KMVA] Phoenix AZ; Nick Mallinson @ Seahaven FM Seaford UK; and Chalilaswel Laswel @ Q FM Lusaka, Zambia.