Friday, January 17, 2014        Edition: #5140

Another Sheetload of Bull!

★ “The Wolf of Wall Street”, the movie that set the record for the most F-bombs in an R-rated film, has had 45 minutes snipped out by the distributor before screening in the conservative United Arab Emirate of Dubai. Profanities have been muted and depictions of drug use and nude scenes have been edited out. But that’s leaving many local movie-goers bewildered, some complaining the whittled down film is incoherent and unwatchable. (Apparently it’s unclear what Leo is doing with that drinking straw.)
★ “Thor” star Chris Hemsworth and his actress-wife Elsa Pataky have confirmed they are preparing to become parents to twins. The couple announced the pregnancy late last year, and his rep has now acknowledged that reports saying they’re expecting not one, but two babies this Spring are true. The proud papa was spotted gently patting the Spanish actress’ baby bump on the red carpet at the Golden Globes last Sunday. (She’s starting to look like she swallowed a globe.)
★ And Ty Warner, creator of the cuddly plush toys ‘Beanie Babies’, has been found guilty of tax evasion but managed to escape jail time. Even after the 69-year-old admitted he failed to report more than $24 million in income, a judge sentenced him to just 2 years probation because of his charitable “acts of kindness”. He wasn’t let off the hook completely; he must perform 500 hours of community service and pay a $53-million fine. No probs as he’s reportedly worth $2.3 billion. (He ought to be guilty of fraud, for marketing cheap stuffed toys as ‘investments’.)

• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Tonight Faith Evans (“Incomparable”, coming soon).
• Big Day Out 2014 – Tonight the annual rock tour gets underway in Auckland NZ, then heads to 5 cities across Australia through February 2nd. This years’s headliners are Arcade Fire and Pearl Jam. Also on the bill: Grouplove, The Lumineers, Mac Miller, Portugal. The Man, Snoop Dogg and more. Down Under’s original music & lifestyle touring festival began in 1992.
• “The Following” (FOX) – Sunday Kevin Bacon returns with the 2nd season debut episode, “Resurrection”, following the NFC championship game (San Francisco @ Seattle).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Yuna (“Nocturnal”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Sarah Lee Guthrie & Johnny Irion (“Bright Examples”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Jhene Aiko (“Sail Out”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Roadkill Ghost Choir (“Quiet Light”).
• “Looking” (HBO) – Sunday the debut of the 8-episode first season of this new comedy/drama series about a group of gay friends living in San Francisco CA. No-name cast.
• “#RichKids of Beverly Hills” (E!) – Series premiere Sunday. Based on the Internet sensation “Rich Kids of Instagram”, this new reality show follows the extravagant lives of 5 heirs to major fortunes, while documenting their antics on social media.
• “SAG Awards” (TBS/TNT) – Saturday the 20th annual Screen Actors Guild Awards are shaping up to be a 3-way race for movies with “August: Osage County”, “Lee Daniels’ The Butler”, and “12 Years a Slave” each scoring several nominations. “Breaking Bad” is the most-nominated TV series, with 4 nods.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Drake (“Nothing Was The Same”) serves as both host and musical guest.
• “Sherlock” (PBS) – Sunday the Season 3 debut of this BBC series that started in 2010, setting the ‘Sherlock Holmes’ stories into present-day. About 10 million viewers tuned in to watch Benedict Cumberbatch’s hotly-awaited return when this opening episode debuted in Britain.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings (“Give the People What They Want”).

• Austin Mahone – The 17-year-old pop singer will make his network TV acting debut with a guest spot on the CBS-TV sitcom “The Millers”. In an episode set to air later this season, he portrays a younger version of the character ‘Adam’ in a flashback scene.
• Counting Crows – They’re suing UMG Records, claiming they were ripped off royally over royalties from downloads of ringtones made from their famous songs. The group wants 50% of the profits … at least a million bucks.
• One Direction – 20-year-old Liam Payne has apologized after a photo him standing on the ledge of a high-rise building has received wide circulation. He admits the stunt was a “stupid and irresponsible thing to do”. Payne urges fans not to duplicate his dangerous prank.
• Staind – Saturday in Quapaw OK frontman Aaron Lewis begins another string of concerts in support of his country album “The Road”. The Winter/Spring leg of his solo tour runs through April 26th in Montpelier LA.
• Trace Adkins – While headlining a country cruise bound for Jamaica this week he got into fisticuffs with … a Trace Adkins impersonator. It seems Trace – who’s been sober for 12 years – has fallen off the wagon, leading to the brawl. Word has it he’s now checked into rehab.

• “Devil’s Due” ( R-Rated Horror ): A husband begins to notice odd behavior from his pregnant wife that he initially writes off to nerves, but it eventually becomes evident that the dark changes to her body and mind have a much more sinister origin. Stars Allison Miller, Zach Gilford. If the movie is half as creative as this week’s mechanical baby promotional stunt, it’ll be a winner.
• “Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit” ( PG-13  Action Thriller ): Chris Pine stars as a young CIA analyst who uncovers a Russian plot to crash the US economy. Co-stars Kevin Costner, Keira Knightley, Kenneth Branagh (who also directs). Based on late novelist Tom Clancy’s ‘Jack Ryan’ character from “Patriot Games”, “The Sum Of All Fears”, etc.
• “The Nut Job” ( PG Animated Family Adventure ): When a curmudgeonly squirrel aptly named ‘Surly’ is banished from his park and forced to survive in the city, he stumbles on the one thing that may be able to save his life and the rest of park community … ‘Maury’s Nut Store’. Voice cast includes Will Arnett, Brendan Fraser, Liam Neeson, Katherine Heigl.
• “Ride Along” ( PG-13 Action Comedy ): A fast-talking security guard joins a police officer and potential brother-in-law on a 24-hour patrol of Atlanta GA in order to prove himself worthy of marrying the cop’s sister. Stars Ice Cube, Kevin Hart, Tika Sumpter. Interestingly, this movie was originally intended for Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Ryan Reynolds.
• Opening in limited release: “Big Bad Wolves” (Crime Thriller); “GBF” (Comedy); “Like Father, Like Son” (Drama); and “Summer in February” (Romantic Drama).

There’s finally scientific proof that babies ‘fake cry’. Some may doubt that wee babes can really be capable of such deception, but a Japanese researcher has just published results from a 6-month intensive study, and she reports persuasive evidence of ‘fake crying’ by at least one child in the small sampling. It seems the child pretends to be in distress merely as a way to get attention. One possible reason is that in families with multiple children, the baby needs to compete more for parental attention. (Yeah right, the youngest kid is always ignored. Not.)
– “BPS Research Digest”

These big boats can accommodate thousands of guests and boast ice skating rinks, casinos, bowling alleys, and spas. One even has a zip line. Ranked by total number of passengers …
• “Queen Mary 2” (Cunard Line) …. 1,130 feet, 2,620 passengers.
• “Freedom Of the Seas” (Royal Caribbean Cruise Line) … 1 ,112 feet, 3,634 passengers.
• “Norwegian Epic” (Norwegian Cruise Lines) … 1,081 feet, 4,100 passengers.
• “Independence Of the Seas” (Royal Caribbean) … 1,112 feet, 4,370 passengers.
• “Allure Of the Seas” (Royal Caribbean) … 1,187 feet, 6,318 passengers.
• “Oasis Of the Seas” (Royal Caribbean) …. 1,187 feet, 6,360 passengers.
(These aren’t ships, they’re floating cities.)
– “US News & World Report”

As retailers battle to make their brick-and-mortar stores more productive in the age of e-commerce, 3VR is one of many companies selling what’s called ‘big data video-mining’ to them. 3VR’s hi-tech video cameras  can determine a customer’s age, gender, and mood on a scale of 1-to-10, all in real time. A retailer using 3VR can then access this info at any given moment or opt for a report analyzing demographics each week. For example, what days and times do 26-year-old women tend to come in? When are they happiest? How long do they stay and in front of which displays? (Now you’ll have to wear a mask in order to shop in private.)

• Cows moo in regional accents. (“Moo y’all”)
– “QI”
• -40 Celsius and -40 Fahrenheit are the same temperature. (Known as ‘frickin’ cold!’)


1922 [92] Betty White, Oak Park IL, TV actress (“Betty White’s Off Their Rockers” since 2012, ‘Elka’ on “Hot in Cleveland” since 2010, “The Golden Girls” 1985-92)/movie actress (“The Proposal”)

1942 [72] Muhammad Ali, Louisville KY, 3-time heavyweight boxing champ with total career earnings over $69 million/Parkinson’s victim

1957 [57] Steve Harvey, Atlanta GA, TV personality (“Steve Harvey” 2012, “Family Feud” since 2010)/movie actor (“Johnson Family Vacation”, “Madea Goes to Jail”)/standup comedian

1962 [52] Jim Carrey, Newmarket ON, movie actor (“A Christmas Carol”, “Bruce Almighty”) UP NEXT: “Dumb & Dumber To”, opening November 14th.

1964 [50] Michelle Obama, Chicago IL, US First Lady since 2009/wife of 44th US president Barack Obama/fashion icon/poverty awareness and healthy eating advocate

1971 [43] Kid Rock (Robert James Ritchie), Romeo MI, country-rock singer (“All Summer Long”, “Picture”)

1980 [34] Zooey Deschanel, LA CA, TV actress (‘Jessica Day’ on “New Girl” since 2011)/movie actress (“500 Days of Summer”)/pop singer (She & Him-“In the Sun”/”I Can Hear Music”)

1984 [30] Calvin Harris, Dumfries, Scotland, DJ/singer-songwriter/producer (f/Florence Welch-“Sweet Nothing”, f/Ne-Yo-“Let’s Go”)

1986 [28] Jeremiah Fraites, Ramsey NJ, folk-rock drummer (The Lumineers-“Stubborn Love”, “Ho Hey”)

Movie actor-director Kevin Costner (“Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit”) is 59; Rock singer Jonathan Davis (KoRn) is 43; TV/movie actor Jason Segel (“How I Met Your Mother”) is 34.

Country singer-songwriter Dolly Parton (“I Will Always Love You”) is 68; Former TV chef Paula Deen (“Paula’s Best Dishes”) is 67; TV actress Katey Sagal (“The Sons of Anarchy”) is 60; TV actress Bitsie Tulloch (“Grimm”) is 33; Rapper Mac Miller (w/Ariana Grande-“The Way”) is 22.

• “Customer Service Day”, an annual reminder of just how important it is for any business.
• “International Fetish Day”, the 3rd Friday of the year, celebrating the various kinds of kink that the kinky get off on.
• “Judgment Day”, a day to look at yourself in the mirror and see how you’re doing on your New Year’s resolutions. Some dissenting folk somewhere have named this “Ditch New Years Resolutions Day”, a day to be honest with yourself and admit that you’re never gonna do it … whatever it was. Buy hey, it’s said to take 33 days to develop a new habit.
• “Kid Inventors Day”, to acknowledge past & present accomplishments of kid inventors and encourage the creativity of future kid inventors. It’s estimated a half-million children and teens invent things each year. Among them – waterskis, earmuffs, and the Popsicle.

• “Hair Dryer Appreciation Day”, a day to pause and reflect on what a gift this time-saving electrical appliance is to your daily life … just as it zaps a jolt up your right ulna.
• “Thesaurus Day”, celebrating the birthday of the author of “Roget’s Thesaurus”. Peter Roget was born on this day in 1779. Say, what’s another word for thesaurus anyway?
• “Winnie the Pooh Day”, honoring the birthday of “Winnie-the-Pooh” author AA Milne (1882-1956) in London UK. (Disney says thanks for the profits, dude.)

• “Healthy Weight Week” begins, the 21st annual through January 25th, designed to debunk fad diets and advocate healthful ways of promoting fitness.
• “Popcorn Day”, a day to celebrate the healthy (until you load it with salt & butter) and addictive treat.
• “Tin Can Day”, marking the patent of a process for storing food in tin cans issued to Ezra Daggett & Thomas Kensett.

1994 [20] Has-been TV star Danny Bonaduce (“Partridge Family”) wins a split decision vs has-been singer Donny Osmond (Donny & Marie) in a charity boxing match (quote: “Osmond was such a wimp, I actually got bored punching him. His sister Marie would have been a tougher fight.”)

1953 [61] A prototype ‘Chevrolet Corvette’ sports car makes its debut at General Motors’ “Motorama Auto Show” at NYC’s Waldorf-Astoria Hotel (the latest Corvette Stingray has won ‘Car Of the Year’ at this week’s “Detroit Auto Show”, thanks in part to its 455 horsepower V8 engine that automatically shuts down to 4 cylinders during highway cruising)

1995 [19] NFL’s Los Angeles Rams announce their move to St Louis (the USA’s #2 market has been without a professional football team ever since)

[Mon] Martin Luther King Day (USA)
[Mon] Penguin Awareness Day
[Tues] Hugging Day
[Tues] Rid the World of Fad Diets & Gimmicks Day
[Tues] Squirrel Appreciation Day
This Week Is … Hunt For Happiness Week
This Month Is … Personal Self-Defense Awareness Month


✗ The only machine at the fitness club that you know how to work is the vending machine.
✗ Being around skinny fit people doesn’t make you motivated … it makes you hungry.
✗ You find the sound of people grunting as they lift things offensive.
✗ Nothing in the world could convince you to shower more than once a day.
✗ The concept of running constantly and staying in the same spot sounds fairly insane to you.
✗ Naked grampas in the locker rooms, putting their bare butts all over everything = kill me now.
✗ The music that gyms play is, universally, the worst music in the world.
✗ While you see the value in being healthy and fit, you simply love your couch too much.
✗ You’re fairly sure that ‘gym’ is just another word for hell.
✗ You look great just the way you are!
– Adapted from

☎ Should employers encourage walking/biking to work by offering cash incentives?

Which was the first toy ever advertised on TV?
a. Barbie
b. Slinky
c. Mr Potato Head [CORRECT]
d. Play-Doh
– “Weird Fact Of the Day”

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Question: 25% of people do THIS several times a day, while 20% of people never do it.
Answer: Swear.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

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