Friday, January 20, 2012        Edition: #4673

Sheet For Brains!

Saturday actor Mel Gibson hosts a special event at the Egyptian Theatre in Hollywood honoring his “Mad Max” movies as all 3 are screened in an American Cinematheque tribute (the Q&A session with the audience afterward could be interesting) . . . 52-year-old music mogul Simon Cowell reportedly wants Brit singer-TV personality Cheryl Cole to front a new pop music countdown show he’s developing for UK TV (after her unceremonious axing from the US version of “X Factor”, she ought to tell him to take a hike!) . . . Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (whom we all still call Kate Middleton) has been spotted searching out clothing sales in London (royals, they’re just like us) . . . Lionsgate CEO Jon Feltheimer says there will likely be more “Twilight Saga” films after “Breaking Dawn, Part 2” (Quote: “It’s hard to imagine a movie that does $700 million-plus doesn’t have ongoing value”) . . . For the first time in 7 years, the “Grammy Awards” (February 12th) will have an official host, 44-year-old LL Cool J doing the honors (thanks to his 4-year effort as emcee of the “Grammy Nominations Concert Show”) . . . The CW network has picked up “Sex & The City” prequel show, “The Carrie Diaries” (it’ll no doubt maintain the same quality as the last “Sex & The City” film) . . . It looks like rumors of a Johnny Depp-Vanessa Paradis split are true as the story’s now made the cover of “People” magazine (was it the 13-year itch?) . . . Speaking of sad rumors, “Us Weekly” is reporting that Rihanna and Chris Brown have been secretly hooking up – for a year (have some self-respect, girl!) . . . And failed actor-comedian Andy Dick (ex-“Celebrity Rehab”) is accused of drunkenly beating up a Hollywood tourist after the visitor tried to snap his pic, and LAPD believe the entire incident has been captured on video (for years this guy has done nothing other than live up to his name).


• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Sunday night, a super-sized ‘special edition’ airs after the “NFC Championship Game”.
• “Betty White’s 90th Birthday: A Tribute to America’s Golden Girl” (NBC) – Saturday night, a rerun of Monday’s special celebrating the comic actress’ birthday (January 17th), featuring guests & musical performances. Followed by “Off Their Rockers”, a new hidden-camera show in which seniors pull pranks on younger people.
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Tonight Down With Webster (“Time to Win, Vol 2”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Tonight SafetySuit (“These Times”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Mona (“Mona”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight 3 Doors Down (“Time Of My Life”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Cults (“Cults”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Los Campesinos! (“Hello Sadness”).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Emma Stone (“The Help”); musical guest Coldplay (“Mylo Xyloto”). Rerun.
• Sundance Film Festival – Tonight the annual 11-day festival of indie film opens in Park City, Utah. Among this year’s offerings is a new documentary on the Paul Simon album “Graceland” (1986), titled “Under African Skies”, which premieres Sunday night.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler (“American Idol”).


• Drake – He’s selling a pair of beachside condos in Miami, Florida which were used in the 2011 video “I’m On One”. He’s now put the properties up for sale for a combined price of $2.5 million. (He owns TWO Miami condos? That’s just hoggish!)
• Emmylou Harris – Saturday night she celebrates the 20th anniversary of her membership in the Grand Ole Opry with a special show that also features Rodney Crowell and Vince Gill.
• Jason Aldean – Tonight his “My Kinda Party 2012” arena tour with Luke Bryan kicks off  in Greenville, South Carolina. 17-year-old singer-songwriter Lauren Alaina is the opener in her first official country tour, supporting her debut album “Wildflower”.
• LMFAO – The “Party Rock Anthem” duo have teamed up with Paris Hilton for her ‘comeback single’ that she’s preparing to release this Summer. RedFoo and SkyBlu have been working in the studio on the track, which is touted as ‘a whole new genre’. (A ‘comeback’ … from what?)
• Soundgarden – They’re headlining the 20th anniversary “Big Day Out Festival”, the annual 6-date trek that gets underway in Auckland, New Zealand tonight, then heads to Australia. Kanye West is also on the bill.
• Taylor Swift – She says the theme of her next album is heartbreak, leading to speculation it was fueled by her brief 3-month relationship with actor Jake Gyllenhaal, which broke up publicly just before Christmas 2010. (Apparently he was still in love with Heath.)


• “Coriolanus” ( R-Rated Drama ): Actor Ralph Fiennes’ directorial debut is a modern-day take on Shakespeare’s play that tells the story of a banished hero of Rome who allies with a sworn enemy to take revenge on the city. Co-stars Gerard Butler, Brian Cox, Lubna Azabal. Shot in Belgrade and Serbia.
• “Haywire” ( R-Rated Action Thriller ): Mixed-martial artist (and former “American Gladiator”) Gina Carano stars as a black-ops super-soldier who seeks payback after she’s betrayed and set up during a mission. Cast includes Antonio Banderas, Channing Tatum, Ewan McGregor, Michael Douglas, Michael Fassbender. Directed by Steven Soderbergh.
• “The Flowers of War” ( R-Rated Historical Drama ): Christian Bale plays a Westerner who finds refuge with a group of women in a church during Japan’s assault on Nanking, China in 1937. Posing as a priest, he attempts to lead the women to safety. The film is China’s official submission for the ‘Best Foreign Language Film’ category of the 2012 Academy Awards.
• “Red Tails”( PG-13 War Drama ): A crew of African-American pilots in the Tuskegee training program, having faced segregation while kept mostly on the ground during WW2, are finally called into duty. Stars Terrence Howard, Cuba Gooding Jr, Bryan Cranston, and Andre Royo. This George Lucas production has been in development 20+ years.
• “Underworld: Awakening” ( R-Rated Action Fantasy ): In the franchise’s 4th film, Kate Beckinsale stars as vampire warrior ‘Selene’, who leads the battle against humankind as it attempts to eradicate both Vampire and Lycan clans. Co-stars Michael Ealy, Stephen Rea, and newcomer India Eisley. Shot in Vancouver.

This Winter’s unpredictable weather has claimed another victim. Organizers have postponed a popular horse-skiing event in Minturn, Colorado due to lack of snow. The Rocky Mountain Ski-joring Competition will now be held in late February. During the event, skiers hold a rope with one hand and a wand in the other. As their horses career up the street through the snow the skiers are pulled along, using their wands to grab rings for points. (The term ‘Ski-joring’ is of Norwegian derivation and describes any sport in which a person on skis is pulled by a horse, by dogs, or by a motor vehicle.)
– AP


You’ve likely heard by now that, in moderation, chocolate is actually a healthy addition to your diet. Here’s a quick look at some of its powerful ingredients …
✓ Antioxidants … Promote cardiovascular health.
✓ Flavanols … Improve the circulation to your brain.
✓ Phenethylamine … Triggers the release of endorphins, which create a sense of pleasure.
✓ Anandamide … Relieves stress, activates the same brain receptors as marijuana.
– Condensed from


In a press release this week, the New Zealand Federated Farmers lobby group claims the world’s top sheep shearers are ‘athletes who take it to another level’ and the time has come to elevate shearing’s sporting status to the world stage as an Olympic demonstration sport. While shearing is indeed a real sport, its chances of becoming an Olympic event are likely next to nil because even demonstration sports require participation by numerous countries worldwide. (Under that guideline, ‘Body Waxing’ has a better shot.)


• Scientific testing has revealed that 40% of domestic cats are left-pawed. Just 20% are right-pawed, and the remainder are ‘ambi-pawed’. (Meaning you get TWO sets of claw tracks down your drapes.)
– “Cat World”
• Research hospitals and medical schools are increasingly beginning to turn down bodies donated to science because … they’re too fat. (Size acceptance continues to be an issue, even after you die!)
– “Cleveland Plain Dealer”


1952 [60] Paul Stanley (Eisen), Queens NY, classic rock guitarist-singer (KISS-“Rock & Roll All Night”, “Beth”) who’s released over 30 albums with KISS

1956 [56] Bill Maher, NYC, TV talk show host (“Real Time With Bill Maher” since 2003, “Politically Incorrect” 1994-2002)/documentary maker (“Religulous”)

1963 [49] James Denton, Nashville TN, TV actor (‘Mike Delfino’ on “Desperate Housewives” 2004-12)

1965 [47] John Michael Montgomery, Danville KY, country singer (“Sold”, “I Swear”)

1966 [46] Rainn Wilson, Woodinville WA, TV actor (‘Dwight Schrute’ on “The Office” since 2005)/movie actor (“The Rocker”, “Juno”)

1979 [33] Rob Bourdon, Calabasas CA, rock drummer (Linkin Park-“What I’ve Done”, “In the End”)

Oldies singer-songwriter Billy Ocean (“Caribbean Queen”) is 62; Movie actress Geena Davis (“Thelma & Louise”) is 56; DJ Chris Kilmore (Incubus) is 39; Pop singer Emma Bunton (ex-Spice Girls) is 36.

Classic rock singer Steve Perry (Journey) is 63; Country singer Teddy Gentry (Alabama) is 60; Movie actress Diane Lane (“Under the Tuscan Sun”) is 47; TV chef-game show host Guy Fieri (“Minute To Win It”) is 44.

• “Penguin Awareness Day”, a day to increase awareness of the interrelationship between humans and marine animals. (Not sure where the official celebration is being held, but you can bet they’ll be wearing tuxes!)
• “Take A Walk Outdoors Day”, because spending the entire Winter mall-walking can turn you all pasty-white.
• Zodiac sign of Aquarius (the ‘Water Carrier’) begins. Aquarians are said to be stubborn, opinionated, unpredictable, and conceited, but also far-sighted, visionary, original, and innovative.

• “Fancy Rat & Mouse Day”, a day set aside for people who appreciate pets … that are vermin.
• “Flag Day” in Québec, celebrating the designation of the blue & white fleur-de-lis standard known as the ‘Fleurdelisé’ as an official emblem on January 21st, 1948. The ancient symbol of the French monarchy first arrived in the Gaspésie in 1534 with Jacques Cartier’s first voyage.
• “Hugging Day”, a day to hug anyone who will accept a hug and to see how many you can hug before the day is over. (Make sure you have a lawyer on retainer.)
• “Squirrel Appreciation Day”. So take a moment today and think about the squirrels. (Huh?)

• “Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day”, a day to concentrate on your feline and answer the questions you think it’s asking. People often consider cats unaffectionate, not true companions. But the truth is, they only talk to humans. Studies show they rarely ‘meow’ at other cats.
• “Unification of Ukraine Day”, celebrating Ukraine’s formation in 1919. There are over 1 million people of Ukranian origin in Canada, making them the country’s 8th-largest ethnic group and giving Canada the world’s 3rd-largest Ukrainian population after Ukraine and Russia.

1982 [30] “Late Night With David Lettermen” debuts on NBC-TV (previously, his daytime “David Letterman Show” lasted just 5 months on NBC in 1980)

1982 [30] Rocker Ozzy Osbourne is forced to undergo rabies shots after biting the head off a dead bat thrown at him during a concert in Des Moines IA (he apparently thought it was plastic)

2002 [10] Sting wins a “Golden Globe Award” for his song “Until” from the “Kate & Leopold” soundtrack (a forgettable song from a forgettable movie)


1982 [30] 1st ‘Camcorder’ is developed (leading to stacks of recordings that you never watch, stuffed in a closet)

2009 [03] Barack Obama is inaugurated as 44th President of the United States of America


[Mon] Chinese New Year
[Mon] Handwriting Day
[Mon] Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day
[Tues] Global Belly Laugh Day
[Tues] Beer Can Day
[Tues] Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day
This Week Is … Fresh Squeezed Juice Week
This Month Is … Family Fit Lifestyle Month


● Men know what they want to be doing 5 years down the road. Guys aren’t sure what they want to be doing later tonight.
● Men wear ties with stripes, shirts with buttons, and shoes with laces. Guys wear high school T-shirts they’ve actually owned since high school.
● Men balance their checkbooks. Guys balance their loans so that they never hit up the same buddy twice in-a-row.
● Men think perfume (yours) is a turn-on. Guys think sweat (theirs) is a turn-on.
● Men order wine based on more than the price. Guys bring their own beer.


Support safe housing … use condos.

They were originally named after the original moniker for the city of Genoa, Italy. Almost everyone has some in the closet. What are they?
a. Socks.
b. Boxers.
c. Blue jeans. [CORRECT. The old name for Genoa was ‘Geane’ when it began exporting sturdy twill cloth to England in the 1500s.]
– “Totally Trivial”

☎ Who’s the funniest person in (really small local town)? Take nominations, then call the winner. Usually they aren’t funny at all, which is … funny.

Question: THIS typically lasts 14-to-16 months.
Answer: A wedding engagement.


Keep your eyes open before marriage, half shut afterward.

Printer Friendly Version