Thursday, July 31, 2008        Edition: #3826
Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
The ‘personal reasons’ that CBC-TV producers claimed prevented 46-year-old Simon Lee from judging THIS WEEK’s final 2 episodes of the reality series “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?” turn out to be – he’s charged with assault & forcible confinement of a man in his 20s (clearly, the problem was NOT Maria) . . . Another Canadian-produced TV series is destined for a US network: “18 to Life”, produced by Montréal’s Galafilm, is due to air NEXT SEASON on ABC-TV (as well as the CBC) . . . Police have confiscated a gun found in a carry-on bag belonging to 82-year-old entertainer Jerry Lewis as he prepared to fly out of Las Vegas Airport and he’s been cited for carrying an unloaded concealed weapon (his rep claims it’s just a ‘prop gun’) . . . Oh wow man, 1970s comedy team Cheech & Chong have ended a long-running feud and are now planning their first tour in more than 25 years (they’re now 62 & 70 respectively) . . . In an interview for the SEPTEMBER edition of “Details” magazine, busted 22-year-old actor Shia LaBeouf discloses that he & his former heroin addict father would drink & smoke together while he was growing up, and admits he still doesn’t know how to ‘do it like a gentleman’ (sad story, but this guy’s now been in like 4 trillion headlines) . . . Reality TV star Khloe Kardashian (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”) says actor Shia LaBeouf should ‘be smarter’ about how he handles himself (that’s gotta suck – first a DUI bust, then ‘advice’ from a D-list Kardashian) . . . A family that got a new home on “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” (ABC) has been foreclosed on after they couldn’t pay back a $450,000 loan for which they used their free house as collateral (but hey, thanks for working your butt off for a week, Ty!) . . . Insiders say celeb couple Kate Hudson & Lance Armstrong are done, splitting up with ‘no drama or ugliness’ this past weekend (just another notch on Kate’s bedpost) . . . And bumbling former US Vice-President Dan Quayle is said to be on the short-list for the next season of “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC), as well as the previously announced Kim Kardashian (he actually might do okay – there’s no spelling involved).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Mariah Carey shows up and shows off.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Sean Kingston (“Beautiful Girls”) is the guest.
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – After pop singer Lady Gaga performs her single, “Just Dance”, the voting results are revealed and 2 more dancers go home.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – R&B singer Robin Thicke (“Lost Without U”) performs.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Country star Toby Keith promotes his upcoming movie, “Beer For My Horses”, opening AUGUST 8th.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alicia Keys – She & Jack White (White Stripes, Raconteurs) have been selected to record the first-ever ‘James Bond’ theme duet (“Another Way To Die”) for the new 007 movie “Quantum Of Solace”, opening in NOVEMBER.
• Cream – The 1960s rock trio are reuniting for a one-off performance this OCTOBER at the Royal Festival Hall in London. Eric Clapton & Jack Bruce will join drummer Ginger Baker, who’s being honored by cymbal maker Zildjian at the event.
• Duffy – She says she’s fine with young fans downloading her music for free … as long as they buy it when they get older. She believes most people who illegally download only do so because they can’t afford to buy music. (Mercy, you’re delusional, girl.)
• Fergie – She says she’s excited about her upcoming role as ‘Saraghina’ in “Nine”, a bigscreen adaptation of the Tony-winning musical. She’ll perform the saucy song “Be Italian” with co-star Daniel Day-Lewis. Fergie admits the character is ‘basically a prostitute on the beach’.
• Miley Cyrus – She’s turned down fellow pop singer Katy Perry’s proposition of sharing a smooch onstage at the upcoming “Teen Choice Awards”. The “I Kissed a Girl’s” offer was likely just tongue-in-cheek anyway. (So to speak.)
• Nelly – He’s signed a deal to promote the new energy drink ‘ZizZazz’ in return for part ownership of the fledgling company. He previously marketed ‘Pimp Juice’.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Alice in Wonderland” – Reports suggest that Johnny Depp will play the ‘Mad Hatter’ in filmmaker Tim Burton’s upcoming 3-D retelling of Lewis Carroll’s classic tale. Depp has starred in 6 of Burton’s previous movies, including “Sweeney Todd” and “Charlie & The Chocolate Factory”. Little known Australian actress Mia Wasikowska has already been signed to star as ‘Alice’.
• “The Governess in Massachusetts“ – Jennifer Lopez has signed on for her first movie role since becoming a new mom to twins Max and Emme. She’ll play a professional thief who poses as a nanny for a wealthy family in a bid to pull off a bank heist. Production is scheduled to begin THIS FALL.
• “I Am Legend 2“ – Director Francis Lawrence has confirmed he’s working on a prequel to the mega-hit 2007 film and Will Smith’s character ‘Dr Robert Neville’ will return to help fill in the beginning of the story. Lawrence says shooting a prequel should be much easier because it won’t require shutting down busy streets in Manhattan on a daily basis.
• “Nottingham“ – Director Ridley Scott’s new ‘Robin Hood’ film may take years to reach the screen since production has been halted indefinitely. Originally scheduled to begin filming in mid-AUGUST, it now looks as if it will be delayed until at least NEXT SPRING. Sienna Miller is lined up to play ‘Maid Marian’; Russell Crowe will star as the ‘Sheriff’.
• “Red Sonja” – Producer Robert Rodriguez is searching for a new lead actress for this bigscreen remake of the mythical comic book heroine’s story. It was originally intended to star his fiancée Rose McGowan, whom he met while shooting “Planet Terror” as part of the ill-fated “Grindhouse” horror feature. But the show biz couple has reportedly split. The original 1985 film starred Brigitte Nielsen as the bikini-clad, sword-wielding barbarian vixen. The new version’s due in 2010.

BEST-DRESSED 2008:
A 69th annual magazine listing of the folks who are looking finest has just been released. Topping the women’s category: Michelle Obama, wife of US presidential candidate Barack Obama; Carla Bruni-Sarkozy [‘sahr-ko-ZEE’], wife of French president Nicolas Sarkozy; and Kate Middleton, GF of Britain’s Prince William. Also-rans Include Ivanka Trump, daughter of ‘The Donald’; and “Sex & the City” star Sarah Jessica Parker. On the men’s side,  ‘James Bond’ actor Daniel Craig is tops, followed by the likes of “Today” show anchor Matt Lauer; soccer star David Beckham; and rapper Kanye West. Also listed: 76-year-old “60 Minutes” correspondent Morley Safer (huh?).
– “Vanity Fair”

BS LAW & DISORDER:
• In Florida, a Naples man has been busted after a snitch called cops to report the theft of … coins from a fountain. The 43-year-old criminal was found with a total of 42 cents. So he’s been arrested, fined $100, and hauled off to jail on a $500 bond. (Thanks goodness they’ve taken this dangerous hoodlum off the streets!)
• In Italy, cops in Carnago have arrested a 69-year-old man for … taking pot shots at a woman’s undies. It seems the 2 neighbors had fallen out some time ago and the man decided that by putting bullet holes in her underwear on a clothesline, he’d frighten her enough to stay away from him. He’s been charged with endangering public safety. ([Co-host] once blew out some underwear … while wearing them.)
• In Germany, a 33-year-old shoplifter who ran off with expensive cosmetics from a shop in the town of Sonthofen was fairly easy to track down because … she left her 6-year-old daughter behind. Store staff called cops who questioned the child then turned her over to a social worker. (This kid’s in for a lifetime of therapy!)
• In Wisconsin, Milwaukee police have charged a 56-year-old man with disorderly conduct and possession of a short-barreled shotgun after he got PO-ed that his lawnmower wouldn’t start and in a pique of logic … shot it. (The lawnmower still won’t start.)
• In China, police waited 2 days before arresting a man on a minor charge … so he could get married without embarrassment. They arrested him the morning after the big event, thereby ensuring the bride’s family would not ‘lose face’ in front of their guests. (Think this would ever happen here?)

LOOKING GOOD:
A recent magazine poll shows that more married men think their wives look hot in jeans than they do naked. 38% say jeans & a T-shirt is the sexiest look their woman can have, compared to 34% who pick skimpy lingerie. Amazingly, being stark naked comes in 3rd at just 20%. (Wrinkles look so untidy.)
– “Redbook“

FOR THE RECORD:
A Romanian immigrant in Abbotsford BC has just given birth to her 18th child … in just 23 years. The brood of 44-year-old mom Livia Ionce & her husband Alexandru now entails 10 boys and 8 girls. Their family home has 7 bedrooms … but only 2 baths. (There’s a lot of leg-crossing in this house!)
– CP

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• According to a newly-released StatsCan report, only 68% of young Albertans in school year 2005-06 remained long enough to finish high school. The others were enticed to look for jobs in the oil industry.
– AHN
• Scientists have discovered that Malaysia’s pen-tailed shrew lives entirely off a diet of beer. It feeds off the flowers of the Bertram Palm, whose nectar is about 3.8% alcohol – the equivalent of a light beer. Amazingly, the tiny creature never gets drunk.
– “NY Post”

BS CHRONOMETER 07.31.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1962 [46] Wesley Snipes, Orlando FL, movie actor (“Blade: Trinity”, “US Marshals”) who’s been sentenced to 3 years in prison for tax evasion/Hollywood Walk of Fame (1998)

1963 [45] Fatboy Slim (Norman Cook), Bromley UK, DJ/big beat musician (“Right Here Right Now”, “Praise You”)

1965 [43] JK (Joanne) Rowling, Yate, England, mega-selling author who’s gone from struggling single mom to world’s first billionaire author in a single decade/her character ‘Harry Potter’ shares the same birthday

1978 [30] Will Champion, Southampton UK, rock drummer (Coldplay-“Viva La Vida”, “Clocks”)

1979 [29] BJ Novak, Newton MA, TV actor (‘Ryan Howard’ on “The Office” since 2005)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cotton Candy Day”, celebrating the delights of spun sugar on a stick.

• “Mutts Day”, honoring all dogs of mixed breeds. Purebred owners often view them as lesser in many ways but mutt owners know better!

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1996 [12] Alanis Morissette kicks off her 1st big-time Canadian tour at Vancouver’s GM Place

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1893 [115] 1st patent for ‘Shredded Wheat’ (Ohio’s Henry Perky)

1922 [86] 1st ‘Water Skis’ (Minnesota’s Ralph Samuelson)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1955 [53] Toronto’s 17-year-old Marilyn Bell becomes ‘Youngest to Swim the English Channel’

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[Aug 1] Respect for Parents Day / Rounds Resounding Day / Girlfriends Day / Full ‘Sturgeon’ Moon / “Midnight Meat Train; “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor”; “Swing Vote” open in movie theaters / Lollapalooza begins (Chicago IL) / Sturgis Bike Week begins (Sturgis SD)
[Aug 2] Ice Cream Sandwich Day / 2008 Magnetic Hill Music Festival (Moncton NB) / Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction (Canton OH) / Mustard Day
[Aug 3] Watermelon Day
[Aug 4] Holiday in 7 provinces & NWT (BC Day, Heritage Day, Civic Holiday, Simcoe Day, etc) / 2008 Teen Choice Awards (Los Angeles)
[Aug 5] National Date Night / Jordin Sparks-Jesse McCartney tour begins (Sacramento CA) / 25th National Night Out
[Aug 6] Fresh Breath Day / Wiggle Your Toes Day / Pamper Yourself Day / National Kids Day / Sisters Day / Royal St John’s Regatta (Quidi Vidi Lake NL) / “Pineapple Express” opens in movie theaters
[Aug 7] Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day / The Police last-ever show (NYC) / Edmonton Folk Fest begins
[Aug 8] Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremonies / Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night / “Fly Me To The Moon“; “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2”; Toby Keith’s “Beer for My Horses” open in movie theaters / Summer Sonic Festival begins (Tokyo/Osaka, Japan) / Elvis Week begins (Memphis TN)
[Aug 9] Book Lovers Day / International Art Appreciation Day / Hand Holding Day / Garage Sale Day
[Aug 10] S’mores Day / Spoil Your Dog Day / Underwear Day
[Aug 11] Daughters Day / Dog Days of Summer end / “Elvis: Viva Las Vegas” (CMT)
[Aug 12] Vinyl Record Day / Middle Child’s Day / International Youth Day / Truck Drivers Day
[Aug 13] International Left-Handers Day / Stay Home With Your Kids Day / “Tropic Thunder“ opens in movie theaters
[Aug 14] Senior Citizens Day / Financial Awareness Day / International Nagging Day
[Aug 15] Relaxation Day / Failures Day / 3-D animated “The Clone Wars”; “Mirrors”; “Vicky Cristina Barcelona“ open in movie theaters / Canadian National Exhibition begins (Toronto)
[Aug 17] Thriftshop Day / 12th Wreck Beach Bare Buns Run (Vancouver)
[Aug 18] Bad Poetry Day / Discovery Day (Yukon)
[Aug 19] Aviation Day / Keith Urban releases repackaged “Greatest Hits: 19 Kids”
[Aug 20] Potato Day / Radio Day / “Rocker” opens in movie theaters
[Aug 21] Spumoni Day / Homeless Animals Day / Montréal World Film Festival begins
[Aug 22] Tooth Fairy Day / “Death Race“; “Crossing Over“; “House Bunny”; “Longshots” open in movie theaters
[Aug 24-25] George Michael’s  “The Final Two” (London UK)
[Aug 25] Kiss & Make Up Day
[Aug 26] Make Your Own Luck Day / Women’s Equality Day / Single Parent Family Day
[Aug 27] Petroleum Day / Venice Film Festival begins
[Aug 29] More Herbs, Less Salt Day
[Aug 30] Toasted Marshmallow Day / Country Rocks 2008 (Halifax NS)
[Aug 31] Trail Mix Day / Love Litigating Lawyers Day
[Sept 1] Labor Day
[Sept 4] NFL season kick-off (NJ) / Toronto International Film Festival begins
[Sept 5] 4th Fashion Rocks Concert (NYC)
[Sept 6] Canada’s Walk of Fame 2008 induction ceremony / Toronto Virgin Festival begins

USA
[Aug 1] Respect for Parents Day / Rounds Resounding Day / Girlfriends Day / Full ‘Sturgeon’ Moon / “Midnight Meat Train; “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor”; “Swing Vote” open in movie theaters / Lollapalooza begins (Chicago IL) / 68th Sturgis Bike Week begins (Sturgis SD)
[Aug 2] Ice Cream Sandwich Day / Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction (Canton OH) / Mustard Day
[Aug 3] Watermelon Day
[Aug 4] 2008 Teen Choice Awards (Los Angeles)
[Aug 5] National Date Night / Jordin Sparks-Jesse McCartney tour begins (Sacramento CA) / 25th National Night Out
[Aug 6] Fresh Breath Day / Wiggle Your Toes Day / Pamper Yourself Day / National Kids Day / Sisters Day / “Pineapple Express” opens in movie theaters
[Aug 7] Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day / The Police last-ever show (NYC)
[Aug 8] Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremonies / Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night / “Fly Me To The Moon“; “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2”; Toby Keith’s “Beer for My Horses” open in movie theaters / Summer Sonic Festival begins (Tokyo/Osaka, Japan) / All Points West Festival begins (NJ) / Newport Jazz Festival begins (Newport RI) / Elvis Week begins (Memphis TN)
[Aug 9] Book Lovers Day / International Art Appreciation Day / Hand Holding Day / Garage Sale Day / Virgin Mobile Festival begins (Baltimore MD)
[Aug 10] S’mores Day / Spoil Your Dog Day / Underwear Day
[Aug 11] Daughters Day / Dog Days of Summer end / “Elvis: Viva Las Vegas” (CMT)
[Aug 12] Vinyl Record Day / Middle Child’s Day / International Youth Day / Truck Drivers Day
[Aug 13] International Left-Handers Day / Stay Home With Your Kids Day / “Tropic Thunder“ opens in movie theaters
[Aug 14] Senior Citizens Day / Financial Awareness Day / International Nagging Day
[Aug 15] Relaxation Day / Failures Day / 3-D animated “The Clone Wars”; “Mirrors”; “Vicky Cristina Barcelona“ open in movie theaters
[Aug 17] Thriftshop Day
[Aug 18] Bad Poetry Day
[Aug 19] Aviation Day / Keith Urban releases repackaged “Greatest Hits: 19 Kids”
[Aug 20] Potato Day / Radio Day / “Rocker” opens in movie theaters
[Aug 21] Spumoni Day / Homeless Animals Day
[Aug 22] Tooth Fairy Day / “Death Race“; “Crossing Over“; “House Bunny”; “Longshots” open in movie theaters / Outside Lands Music & Arts Festival begins (San Francisco CA)
[Aug 24-25] George Michael’s  “The Final Two” (London UK)
[Aug 25] Kiss & Make Up Day
[Aug 26] Make Your Own Luck Day / Women’s Equality Day / Single Parent Family Day
[Aug 27] Petroleum Day / Venice Film Festival begins
[Aug 29] More Herbs, Less Salt Day
[Aug 30] Toasted Marshmallow Day / Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band @ Harley Davidson’s 105th Anniversary Festival (Milwaukee WI)
[Aug 31] Trail Mix Day / Love Litigating Lawyers Day
[Sept 1] Labor Day
[Sept 4] NFL season kick-off (NJ) / Toronto International Film Festival begins
[Sept 5] 4th Fashion Rocks Concert (NYC)

BULL’S BITS
BS SIGNS YOU’RE A TAD ANAL-RETENTIVE:
• You eat your Smarties/M&Ms in alphabetical color order.
• You fold your dirty clothes before putting them in the hamper.
• The canned goods in your kitchen cupboard are all facing forward … exactly a quarter-inch apart.
• Your closet is organized chronologically by the date you last wore outfits.
• You’ve actually removed the tires to wash the wheel-wells of your vehicle.
• You collect the little ad cards tucked in magazines and file them … before recycling.
• Every email reply you send goes through a grammar checker … after you’ve corrected the original message.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
What’s the only item in which the country of Portugal currently leads the world in production?
a. Corks. [CORRECT. Used for wine bottles.]
b. Forks.
c. Storks.
d. Dorks.
– Yahoo! Trivia

BS PHONE STARTER:
How many times have you seen “The Dark Knight”? (There seems to be momentum building for multiple viewing by fans, similar to what happened with “Titanic” in 1997. That’s the phenomenon that eventually propelled it to #1 all-time in box office.)

BS RANDOM JOKE:
She took an IQ test and the results were negative.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The more education you receive, the larger THIS becomes on average.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Your signature.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Respect must be earned, not commanded.


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