Monday, July 14, 2014        Edition: #5261

Get a Load of This Sheet!

★ On Saturday a rep for Tracy Morgan confirmed the actor/comedian has been released from rehab to finish recovery at home after that van/truck crash in June that left him critically injured and killed a fellow passenger. Morgan is suing Walmart Stores Inc, alleging the retailer should have known its truck driver was not in compliance with regulations designed to combat driver fatigue. The suit contends the driver had been awake for over 24 hours prior to the crash. Morgan and the other plaintiffs are seeking unspecified damages and legal fees.
★ For the upcoming NBC-TV miniseries “Heroes: Reborn”, Jack Coleman (‘Noah Bennet’) is coming back but Ali Larter (‘Niki Sanders’) will not be reprising her role. The “Final Destination” actress played multiple characters in “Heroes” from 2006-10, but her current role on TNT crime drama “Legends” means she doesn’t have time to work on another project. It also seems unlikely that Hayden Panettiere (‘Claire Bennet’) will be available due to her current commitment with ABC-TV drama series “Nashville”. The 13-part “Heroes: Reborn” miniseries will air in 2015.
★ And singer Katy Perry has petitioned “Clueless” director Amy Heckerling to cast her in the upcoming Broadway musical adaptation of the hit 1995 film. Heckerling is currently working to bring the movie to the stage and has written a book and song lyrics for it. While the production is still in very early stages, Perry is reportedly hoping that Heckerling will consider her for the role of lead character ‘Cher’, who was played onscreen by Alicia Silverstone. So far Heckerling seems non-committal, quote: “Katy Perry has expressed interest, and I love her to death.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Robin Thicke (“Paula”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Growlers (“Hung at Heart”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV2) – Betty Who (“Slow Dancing”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Sturgill Simpson (“Metamodern Sounds in Country Music”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Tori Amos (“Unrepentant Geraldines”).
• “Today” (NBC) – Jake Owen performs his #1 hit “Beachin'” (“Days of Gold”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Phish (“Fuego”).

• AC/DC – Frontman Brian Johnson tells “Classic Rock” magazine the band has now finished recording its new album in Vancouver BC. Since guitarist Malcolm Young remains hospitalized, his nephew Stevie filled in while recording the new material.
• Chris Brown / Drake – Rumors are floating they’re now working together on new music as a photo of them in a music studio has surfaced online. They’ve had a longstanding feud since their entourages got into a brawl in 2012, likely fueled by the fact that both had dated Rihanna.
• Courtney Love – She’s joining the cast of FX’s “Sons Of Anarchy” for its final season. According to TV-Live, Love will play the pre-school teacher of the son of main character ‘Jax’, and will appear in multiple episodes. “Sons Of Anarchy” returns this Fall.
• Eminem – His weekend shows in London were reportedly plagued by a sound system that was completely inadequate to fill Wembley Stadium, which was packed to the rafters with 70,000 fans. One reviewer suggests that concert-goers should demand their money back.
• Fleetwood Mac – Stevie Nicks will join NBC-TV’s “The Voice” as an adviser to Adam Levine’s team during the upcoming season. The network will announce more advisers making appearances on the singing show in the near future.
• Garth Brooks – He tells “Billboard” he’ll release new music and launch a world tour this year with his wife Trisha Yearwood as co-headliner. New music is slated to be out within 2 months, with a double album coming late in the year. Tour dates are to be announced this week.
• Kesha – She says her recent rehab stint wasn’t due to partying. Quote: “My dirty little secret is that I’m actually incredibly responsible; I take my music and career very seriously.” It was all about body image, she says, as she’d convinced herself that being skinny was part of her job.
• Trey Songz – He’s debuted at #1 on this week’s Nielsen SoundScan sales chart, with his new album “Trigga”. His last album, “Chapter V”, also debuted atop the chart in 2012.

‘Distressed’ jeans often go for triple the price of regular jeans after they’ve been battered by factory machines. But now you can own a pair of jeans personally shredded by lions and tigers and bears. Introducing … ‘Zoo Jeans’. The Mineko Club, a volunteer group in Hitachi City, Japan is selling jeans mangled by animals at the Kamine Zoo to raise money for wildlife conservation. The critters are given toys covered in denim to tear into, thereby creating a ‘worn-in’ look. The denim is then sewn to create the jeans which are being auctioned online. Bids on jeans ‘designed’ by a tiger have risen well into the thousands. (Better hurry, your chance to buy pants covered in lion spit ends today!)
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If you’re the kind of person who can sit through an entire TV show without sending an email, tweeting, skimming your Instagram feed, swiping through some Tinder profiles, or browsing Amazon, congratulations! You have a better than average attention span … and that makes you a little unusual. It seems that using a 2nd screen while watching TV is the new normal. A new survey finds that 48% of people worldwide are now into ‘screen-stacking’ – using a smartphone, laptop, or tablet while watching TV. It’s particularly common in Asian countries, with Japan leading the world in the practice. Fully 79% of Japanese adults report multi-device TV viewing. (How bad is TV getting when we also need other screens to keep us from getting bored?)

We need dress code transparency! In many workplaces employees are advised that ‘corporate casual’ is the official company dress code, but just what does that mean? Corporate casual evolved in the early ’90s, when Silicon Valley nerds got rich and realized they had enough money to go to work dressed however they wanted. But if you Google the term, the gist of every article you’ll find is that no one really knows what it is. A few tips from style watchers …
✓ Black jeans may be okay but blue jeans are definitely not.
✓ No skinny trousers.
✓ No shorts unless they are upscale designer wear.
✓ Men should only wear collared shirts, and they must be tucked in.
✓ Shoes should be clean and polished, never scuffed.
✓ No flip-flops.
✓ Do not overexpose your body.
✓ And this one we can all agree on … wearing a 3-piece suit to work in mid-Summer is essentially a definition of masochism. (And what’s corp-casj mean to you?)

New self-service ‘DraftServ’ machines at the Minnesota Twins’ ballpark let fans draw as much beer as they want … at 38-to-40¢ an ounce. (We need this here!)


1960 [54] Jane Lynch, Dolton IL, TV actress (‘Sue Sylvester’ on “Glee” since 2009)/TV host (“Hollywood Game Night” since 2013)

1975 [39] Jamey Johnson, Enterprise AL, country singer (“In Color”, “The Dollar”)/country songwriter (“Honky Tonk Badonkadonk”, “Give It Away”)

1975 [39] Taboo (Jaime Gomez), LA CA, hip-hop musician-MC/dancer (Black Eyed Peas-“I Gotta Feeling”, “Where Is the Love?”)

1986 [28] Dan Smith, London UK, alt-rock singer (Bastille-“Pompeii”, “Of the Night”)  BS FACTOID: The band’s name derives from Smith’s birthday coinciding with Bastille Day.

1987 [27] Dan Reynolds, Las Vegas NV, indie rock singer (Imagine Dragons-“Demons”, “Radioactive”)

• “Bastille Day”, the national holiday of France that commemorates the beginning of the French Revolution in 1789, when patriots stormed the Bastille prison. Off with their heads!

• “International Nude Day”, a serious celebration of the ‘naturist’ lifestyle.

• “International Town Criers Day”, observed annually on the 2nd Monday of July to honor the news announcers of yesteryear, who wandered throughout towns proclaiming the latest events, announcements, and even the weather. (“7 o’clock and all’s well!”)

• “Pick Blueberries Day”, or if you’re as lazy as we are, pick blueberries off the shelf at you local supermarket day. Either way, they’re good for you – high fiber, no fat, loaded with antioxidants.

• “Shark Awareness Day”, to create awareness that these magnificent creatures are more threatened by people than people are by sharks. Worldwide demand for shark-fin soup and  shark-tooth medallions combine to make sharks endangered, with millions killed each year.

2000 [14] “X-Men” opens in theaters with a then-record take of $57.5 million, the largest non-sequel, non-holiday movie opening

1964 [50] The Rolling Stones score their first UK #1 hit with their cover of Bobby Womack’s “It’s All Over Now”

1995 [19] A revolutionary new technology that makes music files small enough to be stored in bulk and/or transferred online is christened ‘MP3’ (MPEG-1 Audio Layer 3)

1990 [24] World’s ‘Largest Cherry Pie’ weighs in at 37,740 lbs (17,119 kg) and is served up from a 20-ft-diameter (6-m) pan in Oliver, British Columbia

[Tues] 85th Baseball All-Star Game (Minneapolis MN)
[Tues] Be a Dork Day
[Tues] Gummi Worm Day
[Tues] Pet Fire Safety Day
[Tues] Saint Swithin’s Day
[Wed] Fresh Spinach Day
[Wed] Ride to Work Day 2014

Baby Food Week / Rabbit Week / Sports Cliché Week / Ventriloquism Week


Highlight bits culled from 21 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
(According to stats from Domino’s Pizza)
● Men wearing muscle shirts when answering the door order pepperoni 3 times more often than any other topping.
● People who have pierced noses, lips, or eyebrows ask for a vegetarian topping 23% more often than a meat topping.
● Those who have wind chimes on the porch are 4 times more likely than average to want olives.
– First published in “BS” 1998.

We tell you the names of 3 stars, you tell us the movie in which they acted together …
• Geoffrey Rush, Colin Firth, Helena Bonham Carter [“The King’s Speech”]
• Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth [“Mamma Mia!”]
• Anil Kapoor, Dev Patel, Freida Pinto [“Slumdog Millionaire”]
• Chris Pine, Eric Bana, Leonard Nimoy [“Star Trek”]
• Sandra Bullock, Kathy Bates, Tim McGraw [“The Blind Side”]
• Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush [“Pirates Of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides”]
– First published in “BS” 2011.

☎ What’s your absolute worst piece of clothing, the totally worn yet comfortable item you refuse to throw away?

My wife signed me up for a bridge club. I jump off this Thursday.

Question: Sales of THIS appliance have been falling for over a decade.
Answer: Microwave oven.

If you need a helping hand, look at the end of your arm.

Fish Fishman @ The Mountain [KMTN] Jackson Hole WY; Seth Andrews @ BlogTalkRadio, Tulsa OK; TC McGuire @ Gulf 104 [WGLF] Tallahassee FL; Jessica Ohi @ 99.9 Kiss FM Abuja, Nigeria; Lee Kuveikis @ Carolina Sports Network, Charlotte NC; William White @ Faith Radio, Boyne Falls MI; Larry Thompson @ Foxy 92 [KFXI] Marlow OK; and Bernie @, Oakland CA.

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