Thursday, July 19, 2012        Edition: #4790

Can You Believe This Sheet?

Actress Halle Berry has been hospitalized at LA’s Cedars-Sinai Medical Center to undergo tests after falling and hitting her head on concrete on the set of her new movie “The Hive” (likely nothing, but with the amount of moolah involved in making a movie, you can bet they’ll thoroughly check) . . . The annual Coachella Music Festival in the California desert is expanding onto the high seas with a booze cruise this December that will feature Girl Talk, Hot Chip, James Murphy, Pulp, Sleigh Bells, and others (do holograms get seasick?) . . . 6-year-old Suri Cruise is spending time with her dad Tom Cruise, just days after mom Katie Holmes refused to buy her a puppy that she really, really wanted (guess who’ll be falling all over himself to make some marks?) . . . 24-year-old Casper Smart has admitted on “Good Morning America” his relationship with 42-year-old Jennifer Lopez wasn’t ‘love at first sight’ (more ‘love at first glance of her bank statement’) . . . And this week actors Will Ferrell & Zach Galifianakis have launched a fake political tour in support of their new movie “The Campaign” (opening August 10th), kicking off the cross-country whistle-stop trek at LA shopping complex The Grove (Galifianakis is sporting a mysterious black-eye, proving politics is no cakewalk).


• Country Thunder (Twin Lakes WI) – Today-Sunday the 20th anniversary Wisconsin edition of the annual 4-day country music festival is headlined by Big & Rich, Blake Shelton, Jason Aldean, and Toby Keith. Also on the bill” Luke Bryan.
• “Duets” (ABC/Global) – After a final performance from contestants and their duet partners, the winner is announced on the season finalé.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Casey James (“Casey James”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Classic rockers Huey Lewis & Joe Cocker.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Kasabian (“Velociraptor”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Hot Chip (“In Our Heads”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Graffiti6 (“Colours”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Robert Francis (“Strangers In the First Place”).


• Death Cab For Cutie– Frontman Ben Gibbard will release his first solo album this Fall, “Former Lives”, due October 16th. Gibbard will also head out on a solo tour later this year.
• George Michael – The 48-year-old Brit pop singer has revealed he has a 5-week memory gap from when he was fighting for his life after contracting pneumonia last year. He also says he had to learn to walk all over again as his muscles wasted away during his recovery.
• Jason Aldean – He’s rocketed to the top of the iTunes all-genre singles chart this week with “Take a Little Ride”, which was released Monday without any pre-publicity. The track is from his upcoming 5th studio album, due this Fall.
• Joss Stone – In a new interview with “Live” magazine, the 25-year-old Brit soul singer admits she’s broke after handing back most of her fortune to record company EMI to buy herself out of a contract. She also claims Mick Jagger once asked her out on  a date, but she turned him down.
• Justin Bieber – The 18-year-old recently received a speeding ticket for reportedly going circa 100 mph, but thanks to a new California law that prevents paparazzi from attempting to obtain photos through ‘methods that may endanger the public’, it may be the photographer who was trailing him who could be sentenced to up to a year in jail.
• Robert Plant – The 63-year-old former Led Zeppelin frontman has confirmed reports that he has married 48-year-old Band of Joy back-up singer Patty Griffin in Texas. He says he now spends half his time there, the other half in the UK.


A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The F Word” – “Harry Potter” actor Daniel Radcliffe is set to star in this indie romantic comedy from Canadian production company No Trace Camping. The ‘F’ in the title refers to the dreaded ‘friend’ zone where one person in a relationship can get pigeon-holed while wanting more. Zoe Kazan (“Ruby Sparks”) co-stars. Production starts August 15th in Toronto.
• “The Grand Budapest Hotel” – It’s been confirmed Johnny Depp is set to star in this indie film from director Wes Anderson (“Darjeeling Limited”). Also being considered for the cast are Adrien Brody, Angela Lansbury, Bill Murray, Edward Norton, Jeff Goldblum, Jude Law, Owen Wilson, and Willem Dafoe. The storyline is currently under wraps.
• “Harker” – Moviemaker Eli Roth (“The Hostel”) has confirmed he’s in negotiations to direct Russell Crowe as the famous vampire ‘Dracula’. The title character, a crack London detective who is hunting for the blood-sucking legend, is yet to be cast. The horror thriller is due to hit screens in 2014.
• “Hellboy 3” – Director Guillermo del Toro and star Ron Perlman say they’re trying to organize one more sequel, the 62-year-old actor claiming it would be ‘a shame’ if he doesn’t get a chance to reprise his role as the comic book character because the 1st two films were set up for a resolution in a 3rd. The last film in the series was 2008’s “Hellboy II: The Golden Army”.
• “We’re the Millers” – Molly Quinn (“Castle”) is in talks to join the cast of this upcoming comedy that stars Jennifer Aniston & Jason Sudeikis. The story follows a veteran pot dealer who creates a fake family as part of his plan to move a huge shipment of weed into the US from Mexico. Filming is set to begin Monday in North Carolina.


Klooff, an iPhone app for pet lovers, has surveyed users to find out what your dog says about you as a potential date. A few highlights …
✓ Women who own Chihuahuas are most likely to be considered ‘hot but dumb’.
✓ Men consider women with a Poodle or a Chihuahua to likely be ‘high maintenance’.
✓ Top breeds for women hoping to attract men are Golden Retrievers, Labrador Retrievers, and Beagles.
✓ On the other hand, women most like men with German Shepherds, Golden Retrievers, Labrador Retrievers, and Siberian Huskies.
✓ Men with German Shepherds and retriever breeds are seen as ‘great dad’ material, while owning a Husky is seen as ‘manly’.
✓ Women view men with Bulldogs, Boxers, and Rottweilers as ‘less than brilliant’.
✓ Pit Bull owners are 10 times more likely to be considered ‘slimy’ or ‘sketchy’.


There’s a major problem with Canada’s new plastic banknotes. Along with DVDs, crayons, water bottles, sunglasses, and that tacky dancing hula girl, the new polymer $50- and $100-bills will melt if left on the dashboard of a car in sweltering Summer heat. It’s not that they’re relegated to a liquid ball of goo, but they do start to crinkle in extreme temps. And there have been cases of stacks of bills sticking together. When first released, the bills were touted by the Bank of Canada for their ability to withstand temps, from as low as -61 C (-78 F) to boiling water. Unfortunately the problem is coming to light just as new polymer $20-bills are being unveiled. (You can actually launder this money; you just can’t keep it in your back pocket while sitting on leather car seats.)


• Everything we buy, whether it’s clothes, shoes, or beauty products, costs 20% more than we tell you.
• Commitment isn’t just a guy thing. We’re just as scared as you are.
• Although we’re modern and independent, we still want you to be ‘the man’.
• We’re scared that we’ll turn into our mothers.
• We tell our girlfriends more than we admit to you (but less than you fear).
• We actually notice and appreciate all of the chores you do. We love that you’re not afraid to get your hands dirty.
• We’ll tell you we like your new haircut, even if it’s not your most flattering look.
• We’re into male co-workers’ good looks and checking out hot celebrity guys. Just because we’ve already ordered doesn’t mean we can’t still read the menu.
• We still ‘fake it’ from time-to-time.
– Condensed from “Redbook”


A new “Consumer Reports” survey of more than 25,000 has found that 60% of us have trouble either falling or staying asleep, or we wake up exhausted. A few ways to fight back …
• Drop Your Temp – Deep sleep occurs when core body temperature is lowest. Can’t crank the AC? Jump in a hot shower for 15-to-20 minutes.
• Avoid Late-Night Protein – Opt for a snack of light carbs. Protein-packed foods require a lot of breakdown, which creates body heat. And that tells your brain you’re not ready to sleep yet.
• Try Evening Exercise – A post-dinner workout can lead to the restorative slumber you need, as long as you don’t overdo it. Don’t overexert yourself to the point where you can’t fall asleep.
– Excerpted from “Men’s Health”


Since you can’t control a lot of the variables that make a cup of coffee good with an auto-drip, it’s important that you start the process right. A few important steps …
✓ Buy fresh-roasted whole beans if you can. If you’re stuck with a grocery store brand, be sure to look for a roasting date on the package so you can get something fresh-ish.
✓ Find the right grind for your machine. For most auto-drip coffee makers you want a fine or medium grind depending on the type of filter. A ‘medium’ grind is close to the texture of sand.
✓ Always use fresh water. The ratio should be 1-or-2 tablespoons of coffee per 6 ounces of water. Beware: Different machines gauge a ‘cup’ differently and it might not be 6 ounces.
✓ Get the temperature as close to right as possible. Coffee should be brewed between 195-205 F (90-96 C). To get it that hot in a cheap machine, run the water through once, then add the coffee and do it again.
✓ Post-brew get the pot away from the heating element and clean it daily.
✓ Deep-clean the whole system monthly using a 50/50 measure of vinegar and water.
– Condensed from


This may be the best-dressed car on the French Riviera. A local guy with too much money has bought his Ferrari … a leather jacket. He’s hired an auto-customizing company to wrap his ride completely in black leather.


1947 [65] Brian May, Hampton UK, classic rock guitarist (Queen-“Bohemian Rhapsody”, “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”)/songwriter who collects royalties each time “We Will Rock You” is played at a sports event

1974 [38] Jason McGerr, Seattle WA, indie-rock drummer (Death Cab for Cutie-“You Are a Tourist”, “Soul Meets Body”)

1982 [30] Jared Padalecki, San Antonio TX, TV actor (‘Sam Winchester’ on “Supernatural” since 2005)


• “Flitch Day”, based on a custom begun in the 15th century in which monks offered a ‘flitch’ or side of bacon as a prize to any married couple who could prove they had lived together in harmony and fidelity for the past year. Very few got the chance to ‘bring home the bacon’.

• “Stick Your Tongue Out Day”, for some long forgotten reason. But now that you have it out, try rolling it into a cylinder … only 1-in-14 of us can do that!


1961 [51] TWA (Trans World Airlines) shows the first-ever ‘In-Flight Movie’ … “In Love Possessed”, starring Lana Turner & Efrem Zimbalist Jr


1996 [16] Celine Dion sings “The Power Of the Dream” at the opening ceremonies for the “Atlanta Summer Games”, largest in the Olympics’ 100-year history with 197 nations


2003 [09] During a 14-hour surgery at Vienna’s General Hospital, a 42-year-old Austrian man receives the world’s 1st ‘Transplanted Tongue’


1994 [18] ‘Largest Bubble-Gum Bubble’ measures 23 inches (58 cm) in diameter (Fresno, California)


[Fri] “The Dark Knight Rises” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] Moon Day
[Sat] Celebration Of the Horse Day
[Sat] Hot Dog Day
[Sat] Woodie Wagon Day
[Sun] “2012 Teen Choice Awards” (FOX)
This Week Is … Space Week
This Month Is … Tahiti Awareness Month


Web blog Buzzfeed has some of the wonkiest lists going. Just in case they run out of ideas …
• ‘Elvis Presley’s 22 Sweatiest Moments’
• ‘9 Perfumes That Never Come Off’
• ‘18 Things to Scream At a Cow’
• ‘11 Political Lessons We Learned From “Gilmore Girls”’
• ‘16 Beautiful Photos From Underneath a Bed’
• ‘3 Ways to Get a Duck to Quack’
• ‘14 Paintings of Queen Elizabeth Holding Unbuttered Toast’
• ‘4 Inspiring Lance Bass Quotations’
• ‘41 Close-Ups Of Severely Rotting Teeth’
• ‘12 Supreme Court Justices Running Through Lawn Sprinklers’
– Thanks to Jory John


☎ What’s the most romantic thing to say to a guy?


• Can a person with no eyebrows really look surprised?
• What’s the sound that a name makes when it’s dropped?
• Do bald people ever have ‘bad head’ days’?
• How come no matter when you graduated, your yearbook pictures keep getting nerdier and nerdier as the years go by?
• What does Queen Elizabeth II sing during the British anthem … “God save ME”?


When you think about it, ‘Republican’ and ‘Democrat’ are just more words for ‘politician’.


• How many days of hot weather are needed before a ‘heat wave’ is declared?
a. 3 consecutive days. [CORRECT]
b. 5 days in-a-row.
c. The entire sweat-soaked, scorched skin, steamy Summer.
– National Weather Service

• What’s the hardest part of a man’s body?
a. Skull.
b. Tooth enamel. [CORRECT. Same as a woman.]
c. Unclipped toenails.
– “Freaky Facts About the Body”


Question: Almost one-third of wedding DJs say they’ve seen THIS at a wedding.
Answer: A fight.


If you put a spoonful of wine in a barrel of sewage, you get sewage. If you put a spoonful of sewage in a barrel of wine, you get sewage.

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