Thursday, July 26, 2012        Edition: #4795

More From the Sheethouse!

Both “People” and “Us Weekly” are reporting that actress Kristen Stewart has cheated on boyfriend Robert Pattinson by having a fling with “Snow White & The Huntsman” director Rupert Sanders (well, the “Breaking Dawn” promo tour just got really awkward!) . . . Sharon Osbourne has announced on Twitter she’ll be leaving her gig as a judge on “America’s Got Talent” at the end of this season, a decision that’s apparently taken NBC-TV by surprise (reach for your wallet, people) . . . Meantime, NBC has announced a new 10-episode vampire series titled “Dracula”, with Jonathan Rhys Meyers (“The Tudors”) in the lead role (it’s from the producers of “Downton Abbey”) . . . Production on the set of “Modern Family” (ABC) has been shut down after the adult stars (led by Sofia Vergara, Julie Bowen, Ty Burrell) filed a lawsuit against 20th Century Fox TV claiming their current long-term deals are in violation of California labor laws (it’s complicated but it boils down to – they want more money) . . . “Harry Potter” author JK Rowling is awaiting permission from the Edinburgh, Scotland planning board so she can have a pair of luxury treehouses built for her children at a reported cost of – whoa! – circa $390,000 (they’re said to resemble a ‘Hogwarts’ film set) . . . Latest news on the dysfunctional Jackson family is that siblings Janet, Randy, and Jermaine are attempting to forcibly remove Michael’s kids from the family compound, resulting in a slapping match between Janet and young Paris (why isn’t THIS a reality show?) . . . Lindsay Lohan’s party-cougar mom Dina Lohan has reportedly dined and dashed on a $2,500 check at a Long Island restaurant – without leaving a dime for the waiters (and it was a charity fundraiser!) . . . “Los Angeles Times” is suggesting Warner Bros and filmmaker Peter Jackson have decided there is enough source material to eke out a 3rd movie based on “The Hobbit” (it’ll be pricy, the budget for the 2 already in production is expected to reach $500 million) . . . And the release of Ryan Gosling’s new Mafia movie “Gangster Squad” is being delayed from September to January in order to allow time for one scene to be edited out – the one where a gunman opens fire on an audience in a movie theater.


• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Flo Rida (“Wild Ones”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – “The Voice” winner Jermaine Paul. Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Rick Ross (“God Forgives, I Don’t”, out Tuesday).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Ed Sheeran (“The Slumdon Bridge”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – No Doubt (“Push & Shove”, out September 25th).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – performs “This Is Love” (“#willpower”, out September 14th).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – MoZella (“The Love”).


• Brad Paisley – Now that Mariah Carey has nailed down one of the judging slots on “American Idol”, attention now turns to who will fill the remaining seat on the panel. According to, FOX-TV is ‘seriously considering’ approaching the country star.
• Carly Rae Jepsen – While she initially laughed off stories that a sex-tape of her was circulating online, it now seems she’s reported stolen nude photos to the Vancouver Police Department’s cybercrime unit. Sources say they’ve been shopped around to numerous media outlets. (Oops!)
• Flo Rida – He’s confirmed rumors that he has a workout DVD on the way, and it could come out as early as the end of the year. He tells, “I’ve always been about fitness. I have quite a workout regimen.” (BS translation: We’re exploring all profit streams.)
• Jennifer Hudson – This week her ex-brother-in-law has been sentenced to 3 life terms for the murders of her mother, brother, and nephew. During the sentencing in a Chicago courtroom, the judge told William Balfour: “You have the heart of an arctic night.” (The guy’s a poet.)
• Kiss – With the help of Motley Crue, their co-headliners on “The Tour”, they’ve donated $250,000 to ‘Hiring Our Heroes’, an initiative aimed at reducing unemployment among military veterans. They’ve even hired one themselves, Paul Jordan, who’s been signed up as a roadie.
• Lady Gaga – She’s being sued for $10 million by MGA Entertainment for an alleged breach of contract. It claims the Gaga team ‘engaged in intentional and deliberate delays’ to prevent the company’s Lady Gaga doll from being released in time for this coming holiday season.
• Rihanna – Currently vacationing on the French Riviera, she’s reportedly broken a toe … while playing bartender. She’s confirmed the injury via Twitter, noting it happened when she accidentally dropped a bottle. (You should never drink and tend.)


A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Aloha” – Ben Stiller & Jonah Hill are set to re-team for this new comedy for which Hill came up with the Hawaii-set storyline. It was further developed by the pair while they worked together on “The Watch” (opening Friday). Nicholas Stoller, who directed Hill in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” and “Get Him To the Greek”, is in negotiations to pen the final script.
• Bill Hicks bio-film – Actor Russell Crowe is set to make his feature film directorial debut with a new bio-pic about controversial late comedian Bill Hicks, who lost his battle with pancreatic cancer in 1994 at age 32. Crowe was originally in talks to play the lead, but has opted to step behind the camera instead. Production is slated to begin next year once casting is complete.
• “Fifty Shades Of Grey” – 22 year-old former “Harry Potter” star Emma Watson is reportedly the frontrunner to play the lead role of ‘Anastacia Steele’ in the upcoming bigscreen version of  E.L. James’ bestseller that recently became the fastest-selling paperback of all time. Ian Somerhalder (“Vampire Diaries”) looks likely to take the lead male role as ‘Christian Grey’.
• “Jurassic Park 4” – Another sequel in Steven Spielberg’s series about resurrected dinosaurs will be released within 2 years. The ‘popcorn movie’ is being planned as a Summer release. It’s thought that recent advances in visual effects will make the sequel even more exciting than its predecessors (1993, 1997, 2001). Spielberg is expected to produce, but will not direct.
• “WikiLeaks: Inside Julian Assange’s War on Secrecy” – 41-year-old Jeremy Renner (“The Bourne Legacy”) is in talks to play the WikiLeaks founder in an upcoming bio-film. The story about the international online organization responsible for leaking government documents is based on 2 recent books on the subject.


Want to project an aura of confidence, strength, and overall masculinity? You could experiment with testosterone supplements, or study the swagger of ‘Don Draper’ during a “Mad Men” marathon … or you could just shave your head. Three newly published scientific studies provide consistent evidence that a shaved scalp is associated with dominance. A lack of hair may suggest a forceful, assertive personality, but it comes with downside … men are consistently viewed as less attractive when their heads are shaved. (There’s some truly weirdly-shaped noggins out there that should always stay sodded.)
– “Pacific Standard”


Easy ways to improve your workplace environment …
✓ Embrace the Power of Plants – Researchers aren’t entirely sure why, but indoor plants help reduce stress, so you should definitely consider adding some greenery to your space.
✓ Seek Natural Light – Ideal for protecting vision and keeping employees productive, it also keeps the body’s regulatory processes running smoothly.
✓ Get Stand-Up Desks – Research has shown that sitting in front of a computer all day can have negative effects on both your short- and long-term health.
✓ Offer Healthy Snacks – The ever-present stress that office life brings can sap resources quickly, so be sure to have snacks on hand to help maintain energy levels.
✓ Embrace the Nap – Rested employees are far more productive and make better decisions than their sleep-deprived counterparts, so resist scoffing at the idea of ‘sleeping on the job’.
✓ Promote Frequent Breaks – Stepping away from a difficult problem or project for a moment can bring some much needed clarity.
✓ Offer Employee Bike Storage – Biking to the office has a number of environmental and health benefits, so it’s great to encourage the practice whenever possible.
✓ Allow Pets In the Office – Dogs in the workplace have been shown to significantly reduce stress, but first make sure the team is comfortable sharing workspace with a 4-legged friend.


When you order something online, you not only avoid long lines, there are infinite options at your fingertips and no one can see your face. So it comes as little surprise that when we order food online, we tend to go a little overboard. University of Rochester researchers have examined 160,000 pizza orders over 4 years and found that online orders by the same people who’d previously ordered in traditional ways were 15% more complex, 4% pricier, and 6% more calorific. For example, the overall number of orders for bacon toppings quadrupled online. (Hey, where’s the button for an inch-and-a-half of cheese?)


Women may have higher IQs and longer lives than men, but a new study shows they are also … lazier. Medical journal “The Lancet” has published a paper examining which countries have the most and least active citizens. The findings showed that 34% of women in 122 countries are inactive, as opposed to 28% of men. Worldwide, 31.1% of adults rank as physically inactive, which is defined as less than 30 minutes of moderate activity 5 days a week. (If men are more physically active, why don’t they have longer lives?)


• The average cost overrun of recent Olympic Games is 179%.
– “Bloomberg News”
• Cedella (daughter of Bob) Marley designed Jamaica’s 2012 Olympics wear.


1943 [69] (Sir) Mick Jagger, Dartford UK, wrinkle rocker (Rolling Stones-“Honky Tonk Women”, “Satisfaction”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)

1945 [67] Helen Mirren (Ilyena Lydia Mironoff), London UK, movie actress (‘James Bond’ films, Oscar-“The Queen”)/TV actress (Emmy-“Elizabeth I”, “Prime Suspect”)

1949 [63] Roger Taylor, Dersingham UK, classic rock drummer (Queen-“Bohemian Rhapsody”, “We Will Rock You”)

1959 [53] Kevin Spacey (Fowler), South Orange NJ, movie actor (Oscars-“American Beauty”, “The Usual Suspects”)/Artistic Director of London’s Old Vic Theatre since 2003

1964 [48] Sandra Bullock, Arlington VA, movie actress (2010 Oscar-“The Blind Side”, 2010 Razzie-“All About Steve”)/formerly wed to “Monster Garage” host Jesse James (2005-10)

1965 [47] Jeremy Piven, NYC, TV actor (“Entourage” 2004-11)/movie actor (“RocknRolla”, “Smokin’ Aces”)

1973 [39] Kate Beckinsale, London UK, movie actress (“Click”, “The Aviator”)  COMING UP: “Total Recall”, opening August 3rd.

1974 [38] Dan Konopka, Chicago IL, rock drummer (OK Go-“Here It Goes Again”, “Get Over It”)

1993 [19] Taylor Momsen, St Louis MO, TV actress (“Gossip Girl” 2007-11)/sometime rock singer (The Pretty Reckless)


• “All or Nothing Day”. This is it, folks – balls to the wall, give ‘er all you’ve got, the time has arrived, take no prisoners, it’s now or never, bring your ‘A’ game, give 110% … and any other hackneyed self-help cliché you can think of.

• “Aunt & Uncle Day”, honoring the special contributions they make to our lives (or maybe Hallmark has just run out of ideas?).

• “Chili Dog Day”, saluting the tasty combination of topping a hot dog with fiery hot chili. Genius! (But messy.)

• “Coffee Milkshake Day”, celebrating the Summer cooler that’s also a pick-me-up.

• “Collingwood Elvis Festival” through Sunday in Collingwood, Ontario, which includes an Elvis parade, swap sessions, and the annual ‘Elvis Tribute Artist Competition’.

• “Great Texas Mosquito Festival” through Saturday in Clute, Texas, home of the world’s largest mosquito, ‘Willie Man Chew’. Participants put on their bug repellent and celebrate with the ‘Mr & Mrs Mosquito Legs Contest’ and a ‘Mosquito-Calling Contest’.


1991 [21] Paul Reubens, aka ‘Pee Wee Herman’, is arrested for exposing himself twice while watching an adult movie at a theater in Florida (Fred Willard’s mentor)

1997 [15] “Terminator” co-workers, actress Linda Hamilton & director James Cameron are married (leads to $50-million divorce settlement in 1999)


2000 [12] A court orders the largest Internet file-sharing service, Napster, to stop allowing millions of users to swap copyrighted music (the long-term effect … nada)

2006 [06] Paul McCartney’s first guitar is sold at an Abbey Road Studios auction for £330,000 (about a half-million dollars)


1979 [33] A team of 9 men sets a world record in Edinburgh, Scotland by pushing a hospital bed 3,233 miles (5,203 km) in 36 days

2005 [07] Mumbai, India receives 99.5 cm of rain (39.17 inches) within 24 hours, bringing the city to a halt for over 2 days


[Fri] Summer Olympic Games opening (London)
[Fri] “Step Up Revolution”; “The Watch” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Lumberjack Day
[Fri] Talk In an Elevator Day
[Fri] System Administrator Appreciation Day
[Fri] Take Your Houseplants For a Walk Day
[Sat] Day Of the Cowboy
This Week Is … Animal Agriculture Week
This Month Is … Family Golf Month


• STLSM – Show Tune Loving Straight Male.
• UYFSOMWPOV – Ugly Yet Financially Secure Older Male With Plenty Of Viagra.
• HAWGSOH – Heroin Addict With Great Sense Of Humor.
• VEBJ – Very Expensive Boob Job.
• EHWC – Extremely Hairy White Chick.
• WARSADAK – Works At Radio Station And Drives A Kia.
• WSFBFC – Will Screw Fat Bastards For Cash.
– Adapted from

☎ What’s your best strategy for keeping the seat next to you empty on an airplane?


Some see the glass as half-empty, others see the glass as half-full. I just wonder what’s in the glass.


Question: After towels, THIS is the item most stolen from hotels. (Soap & shampoo are intentional giveaways and don’t count.)
Answer: Batteries from TV remotes.


Crime does not pay … as well as politics.

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