Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Thanks to You, This is Edition #3800!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Live Nation has announced that effective immediately customers purchasing tickets at its website will be afforded the privilege of entering its shows prior to those holding tickets purchased from other ticketing services (less ballyhooed: a ‘parking fee’ on every ticket) . . . The American Federation of Musicians has now filed a lawsuit against “American Idol” producers, whom they allege created an unauthorized orchestral soundtrack for the 2nd season of “American Idol Rewind” (does it matter if no one watches?) . . . The Roman Catholic diocese of Rome has denied a request for film shoots in 2 of its most famous churches for “Angels and Demons“, director Ron Howard’s upcoming prequel to “The Da Vinci Code” (apparently they’re still ticked) . . . FCC chairman Kevin Martin is recommending approval of the Sirius Satellite Radio-XM Satellite Radio merger under a series of conditions that include no rate increases for 3 years and smaller packages at lower prices (if the merge happens, users may be reluctant to invest big bucks again in a required ‘interoperable’ radio to access both services) . . . 69-year-old Oscar-winning actor Jon Voight (Angelina Jolie’s father) has been signed to play ‘Jack Bauer’s nemesis for the upcoming 7th season of “24” (FOX) and will be introduced in a 2-hour season premiere NOVEMBER 23rd (won’t that make it “26”?) . . . And celeb twins Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen have created a new fashion jewelry collection under the brand ‘Elizabeth & James’ that includes earrings and necklaces accented with crosses and daggers (they’re involvement in the ‘creation’ was likely answering a text message with “yeah whatever”).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – Guests include Justin Timberlake and Welsh singer Duffy.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) – Pop-turned-country singer Jewel performs “I Do”.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Rapper The Game is on, who says his upcoming “LAX” (now delayed until JULY 22nd) may be his final album.
• “Late Late Show” (CBS) – Scottish alt-rock indie band The Fratellis promote their new album “Here We Stand”.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Montréal folk-pop singer Martha Wainwright performs music from her new album “I Know You’re Married But I’ve Got Feelings Too”.
• “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated/CTV) – Bette Midler talks about her 2-year Las Vegas residency at Caesars Palace called “Bette Midler: The Showgirl Must Go On”.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – YESTERDAY she remained in a London hospital after fainting MONDAY while signing autographs for Canadian fans who’d been waiting outside her home. Tests are said to be ‘inconclusive’ as to what the problem could be. (It’s a ‘snow’ job.)
• Britney Spears – She will not be charged over an accident LAST YEAR in which she allegedly ran over the foot of a paparazzo. It’s been decided she was not at fault and evidence does not prove she left the scene. (She’s been advised to take better aim next time.)
• Coldplay – They’re vehemently denying they plagiarized the tune of their single “Viva La Vida” from a song by Brooklyn NY group Creaky Boards as the obscure band claims. (This is the new way to get free PR for your lame act – find a big name artist and accuse them of stealing.)
• Eminem – He’s back in the studio, working on his first album in almost 3 years. There is no release date announced as yet. (How come he seems so old school after just 3 years?)
• Madonna – Swedish pop star Robyn has been announced as the opener on at least the European leg of her “Sticky & Sweet” tour throughout AUGUST and SEPTEMBER.
• Michael Jackson – Rumor has it he’s about to become a long-term Vegas attraction, working directly for Colony Capital, the private equity group that recently bought out the $23-million loan on his Neverland Ranch. The company also happens to own the Las Vegas Hilton.
• Radiohead – An eco-friendly stunt to give away tickets for their recent concert in Paris, France has backfired. 50 tickets were to be given away to the first fans to retrieve them from a record company office while … riding a bicycle. Only 15 cyclists showed up. (Let that be a lesson – always pad your promos with ‘shills’, just in case they don’t go as well as hoped.)
• Trace Adkins – He’s written and recorded a theme song for the new reality TV series, “Black Gold”, which premieres TONIGHT on truTV. The show follows the dangerous work of oil rig workers in West Texas. (A rip-off of “The Rig: Oil Sands” on Canada’s OLN?)

BS CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Junior Moment’ – The opposite of a ‘senior moment’, this is a temporary lapse into immaturity, silliness, or irresponsibility. (“Sorry I had a junior moment and egged your windshield. And don’t worry, I’ll put your mailbox back on the post.”)
• ‘Plutoid’ – What an international committee of astronomers has decided to call a celestial body like Pluto that’s too small to be considered a full planet. Previously, it had been referred to as a ‘dwarf planet’. (“I didn’t get a tan at the beach today. The sun was blocked by a human plutoid lying next to me.”)
• ‘Twitter’ – A free social networking/micro-blogging service that allows users to send brief posts (140 characters or less) via online, SMS, IM, or 3rd-party applications such as Facebook to other users who’ve signed up to receive them. The mini-updates are called ‘tweets’; a real-world meeting of users who share posts is called a ‘tweetup’.

MYSPACE RELAUNCH:
TODAY MySpace unveils a major site redesign, including a new splash page, search functions, profile editor, and overall site navigation. Many of the upgraded functions have been built into the new look with the pending MySpace Music Service in mind. For instance, the search tool will feature several tabs to filter results, of which music is one. (Feeling the heat from Facebook, are we?)
– “Billboard”

MYSPACE MANNERS:
Specialist publisher Debrett’s, which markets books on etiquette (ie: “Debrett’s Etiquette & Modern Manners”), has come up with several ‘Golden Rules’ for social networking online …
• You don’t have to make friends with people you don’t know. Think before you ‘poke’.
• Always wait 24 hours before accepting or removing someone as a ‘friend’. The delay will help you gather your thoughts.
• Always send birthday cards and call your friends when there’s important news.
• Consider your friends’ feelings before posting pictures.
• Think carefully about your profile picture. If you don’t want to see it in your local newspaper, don’t put it online.
– “Globe & Mail”

DOG TAGS:
California’s Bay Area was voted the ‘Most Humane’ metropolitan area LAST YEAR by the American Humane Society. Residents there are likely to refer to their ‘animal companions’ rather than ‘pets’. And now it seems there’s a growing movement to give their ‘ACs’ more human names. A recent  review of more than 60,000 pet licences shows that 17 of the top 25 names for dogs and cats in the Bay Area are typical people names, such as ‘Jennifer’, ‘Marcus’, ‘Kevin’, and ‘William III’. (“This is my Doberman, Gavin …”)
– “San Francisco Chronicle”

SPORTS CAB:
The engineering division of sports car-maker Lotus has a fat new multi-million-pound contract from the UK government to develop a low-carbon emission taxi. The ‘Zero-Emission London Taxi Commercialization’ project aims to develop hi-tech hybrid alternatives to the world-famous London cabs (many of which are diesel-powered) and introduce a complete new fleet of zero-emission taxis to London by the ambitious date of 2012. (Seeing as they’re being made by Lotus, you’ll likely be able to cab cross-town in under 6 seconds.)
– “GQ”

CHILD SAFETY CHANGE:
Recent stats show that more than twice as many under-15 children now injure themselves from falling out of bed than falling out of trees. (That’s because, horror-of-horrors, most of today’s ‘helicopter parents’ would never allow their precious to climb a dangerous tree!)
– BBC News

GREASE IS THE WORD:
A shortage of used cooking oil is threatening Oregon’s fledgling bio-diesel industry. It’s not that there’s a shortage of fryer grease, it’s that … thieves are pilfering it to sell! The stuff’s in such demand that investors are waging a bidding war for every golden drop. (Theft’s certainly not a problem down at Al’s Upchuck Diner … they haven’t changed the french fry oil in 6 years.)
– “The Oregonian”

Y R U SMKING?
THIS WEEK a new cellphone service has begun for New Zealanders who want to quit smoking (about 1-in-5 are trying). The Clinical Trials Research Unit at the University of Auckland has found that sending smokers regular, personalized text messages containing advice on quitting, support, or some form of distraction, more than doubles their chances of kicking the habit. (Trouble is, you develop an SMS jones.)
– “New Zealand Herald”

DID YOU KNOW?
• Guys aren’t the only ones obsessed with Wii. In reality, 38% of gamers are now women, says the Entertainment Software Association.
• In 1950, a patent for an ‘Automatic Spaghetti-Spinning Fork’ was issued. (Where’d it go?)
• 34 million households in the USA are now maintained by single women. (The rest by married women.)

BS CHRONOMETER 06.18.08

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942 [66] (Sir) Paul McCartney, Liverpool UK, rock billionaire (Wings-“Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey”, Beatles-“Let it Be”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1999)

1942 [66] Roger Ebert, Urbana IL, syndicated TV (“Ebert & Roeper”) & newspaper film critic (“Chicago Sun-Times” since 1967)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (2005)/recovering from thyroid cancer and, more recently, a hip fracture

1960 [48] Barbara Broccoli, LA CA, film producer (“Quantum of Solace”, “Casino Royale”) who took over the ‘James Bond’ film franchise from late father Albert R Broccoli (1909-1996)

1966 [42] Kurt Browning, Rocky Mountain House AB, figure skater (4-time Canadian Champ, 4-time World Champ)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2001)/Figure Skating Hall of Fame (2000)/Canadian Sports Hall of Fame (1994)/Order of Canada (1990)

1971 [37] Nathan Morris, Philadelphia PA, pop/R&B singer (Boyz II Men-“I’ll Make Love to You”, “End of the Road”)

1976 [32] Blake Shelton, Ada OK, country singer (“Home”, “Some Beach”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Autistic Pride Day”, an annual celebration of the ‘neuro-diversity’ of people on the autism spectrum that’s designed to shift views of autism from ‘disease’ to ‘difference’.

• “Go Fishing Day” which, if you can pull it off, would allow you to post a sign on your door saying ‘Gone Fishing’. Work, after all, is for people who don’t know how to fish.

• “International Picnic Day” a great time to enjoy a meal al fresco, or if you don’t know him … with anyone else you choose. It’s a pseudo-holiday for humans but a regular working day for ants.

• “Splurge Day”, when we’re encouraged to go out and do something indulgent. (Don’t go overboard, because TOMORROW is ‘Return Everything You Bought on Splurge Day’.)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1816 [192] 1st “Thanksgiving Day” celebrated in Upper Canada (later moved to OCTOBER after people complain, “It’s too damn hot to roast a turkey in June!”)

1905 [103] The wooden chair that’s become a symbol of Summer, the ‘Adirondack Chair’, is 1st patented by Harry Bunnell of Westport NY (we don’t have these in Canada … we have ‘Muskoka Chairs’)

1983 [25] 1st American woman in space (Sally Ride-7th Space Shuttle mission)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1992 [16] Italian police arrest a man for stealing a total of 17,000 little bars of hotel soap

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] World Sauntering Day
[Thurs] 2008 Songwriters Hall of Fame Gala (NYC)
[Fri] World Refugee Day
[Fri] Take Your Dog to Work Day
[Fri] “Get Smart”; “The Love Guru” open in movie theaters
[Fri]  35th Daytime Emmy Awards (CBS)
[Fri] Summer arrives (7:59 pm EDT)
This Week Is … Fiddlers Week
This Month Is … Pest Control Month

BULL’S BITS

TRUTH OR BS?
2 of the following are true. One is just a load of hooey, but which?
• In the 1850s, the discovery of a large pearl in a clam in Ohio started a massive ‘Pearl Rush’ similar to the California ‘Gold Rush’. Hundreds-of-thousands of clams were killed in the fruitless search. [TRUE]
• When visiting the beach, you can figure out the water temperature by listening to the seagulls overhead. After diving to skim edibles from the water, they communicate to other gulls with shrill cries. If you count the number of cries in 30 seconds, divide by 2, and add 10, you’ll get a rough estimate of the water temperature in Celsius degrees. [Absolute & total BS.]
• The term ‘black sheep’ for an outcast originated in the late-1700s. In those days, black sheep weren’t as popular as white sheep because white wool could be dyed into any color whereas black wool was more limited. [TRUE]

BS USES FOR EARWAX:
• Natural-scented candles.
• Spread it on paper scraps to make instant Post-It Notes.
• Inexpensive blonde highlights.
• Low-carb alternative to boogers.
• Sister repellent.
– Thanks to Scott Atwood & Christian Shelton

WHAT YOUR DRINKING STRAW SAYS ABOUT YOU:
Houston TX consultant Jan Hargrave, who calls herself ‘The Body Language Lady’, claims you can find out a lot about people by the way they use drinking straws. For example …
• The chewer: likes nourishment in the way of words or emotions.
• The twister: vigorous in expression, animated.
• The knot-tier: determined, precise, intellectual.
• The refuser (won’t use a straw): a bit of a maverick.
• The multi-user (more than one straw at a time): Individualist, wants to accomplish tasks quickly, anxious.
• The sharer: carefree, friendly, joyful.
• The actor (plays with the straw while drinking): exudes leadership qualities.
– “Kansas City Star”

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could star in a love scene with any living actor or actress, whom would you want to act with, and where would you want it filmed?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
It’s okay to be ugly … but aren’t you overdoing it?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: During your lifetime, you’ll consume about 2.5 gallons of THIS even though you’re not meant to drink it.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Pool water.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.


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