Monday, June 29, 2009      Edition: #4050
When You Can’t Dazzle Them with Brilliance, Baffle Them with Bull!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• The exact cause of Michael Jackson’s death is still unknown as further toxicology tests are needed, which could take 6-to-8 weeks. It’s thought he was taking prescription drugs that included Vicodin, Dialudid, Xanax, Soma, Prilosec, Paxil, Demerol, and Zoloft, a deadly mix of painkillers, anti-anxiety tablets, anti-depressants, and muscle relaxants. In a scene right out of “Pulp Fiction”, his personal cardiologist, Dr Conrad Murray, is said to have plunged a syringe full of adrenaline directly into Jackson’s chest in a failed bid to re-start his heart.
– “Daily Mirror”
• On the corner of Hollywood & Vine sits a star along the Hollywood Walk of Fame with loads of flowers, candles, and pictures left by fans of Michael Jackson. But the sidewalk star they’ve been surrounding does not, in fact, belong to the ‘King of Pop’ but to British-born radio host Michael Jackson, who’s been an LA radio personality for over 30 years. Seems the other ‘Michael Jackson’ star was covered with a red carpet early last Thursday in anticipation of the Hollywood premiere of “Bruno” at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre.
– PopBitch.com
• A source close to the Jackson family says that if his children’s biological mother Debbie Rowe reaches out and wants to see her kids, the family won’t stand in the way. However, they are said to be maintaining their position that the 3 kids, Prince Michael (12); Paris Michael (11); and Prince Michael II, aka ‘Blanket’ (7), should stay with their 79-year-old grandmother Katherine, who now has at least temporary custody.
– TMZ.com
• This morning “TIME” magazine is releasing a special “Michael Jackson Commemorative Issue” on newsstands. The last time the magazine published a special edition in between weekly issues was in the days following 9/11.
– NBC News
• Court officials in Sweden have refused to grant one of the jailed founders of music download site Pirate Bay a retrial. Peter Sunde, who along with his 3 co-founders, was convicted in April of breaching copyright laws and sentenced to a year in prison. The 4 men are also ordered to pay $3.48 million in damages to a number of entertainment companies, including Warner Bros, EMI, and Columbia Pictures.
– ContactMusic.com
• Actress Farrah Fawcett’s longtime partner Ryan O’Neal has arranged for her to be laid to rest in a private ceremony for family & close friends on Tuesday afternoon in Los Angeles. Reports say their incarcerated 24-year-old son, Redmond, has been granted permission to attend.
– People.com
• 23-year-old “Gossip Girl” star Leighton Meester & 25-year-old actor Sebastian Stan have reportly leaked their intent to wed on Facebook. Meester has been dating Stan since he appeared on her TV show last year. “Page Six” claims both changed their relationship status to ‘engaged’ on their online profiles last week.
– “NY Post”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “American Idol: Michael Jackson” (FOX/A Channel) – A 2-hour rebroadcast of this past season’s top 13 contestant performances during ‘Michael Jackson Week’. It’s another chance to see Adam Lambert’s flamboyant rendition of “Black or White”.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Blink-182 promotes their upcoming 48-show summer tour, kicking off July 24th in Las Vegas.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Yeah Yeah Yeahs (“It’s Blitz!”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Steve Earle (“Townes”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Green Day (“21st Century Breakdown”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Coolio – The one-hit rapper (“Gangsta’s Paradise”) & reality TV star (“Coolio’s Rules”) has escaped jail time by pleading guilty to drug possession in court Friday. He’s agreed to an 18-month rehab program as penalty for drug charges after an incident at LAX in March.
• The Killers – They’re planning to record an album of cover songs before the end of the year. Brandon Flowers tells “NME” its something they’ve always talked about doing … and they’re still talking about doing.
• Michael Jackson – Media reports suggest concert promoter AEG’s total liability from the now cancelled “This Is It” London residency concerts could amount to £300 million (over $500 million). Ticket refunds alone are expected to cost AEG more than £59 million ($85 million).
• No Doubt – Gwen Stefani claims any tension the reunited group was feeling has disappeared since a ‘heated conversation’ with bassist & ex-boyfriend Tony Kanal. She tells “Elle” magazine the flare-up was just an ‘air bubble that needed to pop’.
• Rihanna – Reports say both she & Chris Brown are asking to have a restraining order banning them from contact lifted because they want to work on their friendship. Brown’s sentence for assault charges stipulates he must stay 50 yds away, 10 yds if they attend the same event.
• Whitney Houston – It’s been announced her long promised comeback album, set for September 1st worldwide release, will be titled “I Look to You”.

TALK TO THE EAR:
Take note, guys – research carried out in noisy nightclubs has discovered that you’ll have more success with the ladies if you talk into their right ear. Why? Italian scientists have found that we humans prefer to be addressed in the right ear and are more likely to perform a task when the request is received in the right ear rather than the left. The phenomenon has been dubbed the ‘right ear advantage’. (You wanna request? I got your request … right ear!)
– ScienceDaily.com

TOP SOURCES OF SOLACE:

What do you turn to comfort you in times of stress? According to a new book “The Solace Paradigm” by psychiatrists Paul Horton & Herbert Gewirtz and psychologist Karole Kreutter, these are our favorite ways to chill …
5. Reading.
4. Eating.
3. Watching TV.
2. Listening to music.
1. Being with someone else.
(Um people, we don’t see beer here anywhere!)
– “Curious Times”

HOT NEW WEAPON:
Scientists at India’s Defence Research & Development Organization are developing a new hand grenade that’s filled with … chilli powder. The idea is to replace explosives in small hand grenades with powdered Bhut Jolokia chilli, said to be the world’s hottest pepper, 1,000 times hotter than commonly used chillies. They say the hot new devices will be used in counter-insurgency operations and to control rioters. It’s designed to immobilize targets without killing them. The powder will also be spread on fences around army barracks in the hope the acrid aroma will keep out animals. (If they had this stuff in Mexico, they’d snort it.)
– BBC News

YOU’RE LOOKING GOOD, MIRROR!

Psychoanalysts say that people who talk to themselves aren’t necessarily losing their grip on reality. It’s now thought that talking to oneself is actually a healthy way to get through life’s pains, by acting as a sort of ‘security blanket’. However, they also warn that talking to yourself is only beneficial if you say nice things to yourself. (It’s also healthier if you don’t get into arguments.)
– “New York Times”

TORTUROUS TUNES:

An article by an NYU musicologist in the “Journal Of the Society for American Music” details how loud repeated music has regularly been used in interrogations on bases in Iraq & Afghanistan to induce disorientation and encourage suspects to talk without inflicting physical force. Here are some of the songs used by the military and law enforcement officials to get suspects to sing …
• Bruce Springsteen’s “Born In the USA”.
• Christina Aguilera’s “Dirrty”.
• Nancy Sinatra’s “These Boots Are Made for Walking”.
• AC/DC’s “Shoot to Thrill”.
• Barney the Dinosaur’s “I Love You”.
• Any song by Barry Manilow.
– “Mental Floss”

YOU ARE WHAT YOU SEE:
A University of Michigan study says that people who work with a view of the outdoors are more enthusiastic about their jobs, more patient, and generally more healthy. The research shows that lack of an outdoor view causes what’s called ‘Directed Attention Fatigue’, leading to irritability. (In other words, it makes you DAFfy.)
– “Science”

EAT TO SLEEP BETTER:
Food & drink choices can affect how well you sleep. A few tips for sound sleep …
• Drink anything but coffee, hot chocolate, or tea within 6-to-10 hours of bedtime. Caffeine blocks the effects of adenosine, a chemical produced by your brain that makes you sleepy.
• Think rice for dinner. Researchers at Australia’s University of Sydney have discovered that a high-carbohydrate meal 4 hours before bedtime can cut the time it takes to fall asleep in half.
• Skip the nightcap. Despite its reputation alcohol sipped later in the day keeps you in the lighter, less restorative stages of sleep in which you’re likely to be awakened by any sound or motion.
• Slip to sleep with a cookie & milk. The tryptophan in milk will help you feel sleepy but experts say you also need some carbs to get it where you want it to go in your brain.
– BestHealthMag.ca

FOR THE RECORD:
Khagendra Thapa Magar of Nepal is waiting for his chance at a world record. He’s only 2-ft-tall and weighs just 10 lbs but he can’t be classified ‘World’s Smallest Man’ until he officially becomes an adult at age 18 this October. Then, the wee lad whom fellow villagers have dubbed ‘Little Buddha’ can finally take the Guinness Record away from 2-ft, 5-in He Ping Ping of China. Doctors believe Magar’s size is due to a malfunctioning pituitary gland.
– “Mail Online”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Just like their human owners, cats can suffer from stress too. The biggest source of feline anxiety is rivalry with another kitty.
• In 2004, archaeologists unearthed a 1,000-year-old padded bra. The antique undergarment, found in Mongolia, has a gold silk back and shoulder straps.
• Strawberries & raspberries can boost your lust drive! These 2 frisky fruits are loaded with the mineral zinc, which can get you hot more quickly. (Hence the strawberry daiquiri, doc.)
– “Cosmopolitan”

AND WE QUOTE:
“I feel this [the Jackson death] is the biggest celebrity story in a long time and has the potential to be the Princess Diana of popular culture.”
– Melanie Bromley, “Us Weekly” magazine.

BS CHRONOMETER 06.29.09


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [60] Dan Dierdorf, Canton OH, NFL analyst (CBS)/NFL Hall of Fame player (St Louis Cardinals)

1953 [56] Colin Hay, Kilwinning, Scotland, oldies singer (Men at Work-“Who Can It Be Now?”)  FACTOID: Hard to believe, but 28 years after the release of their #1 hit “Down Under”, music publisher Larrikin Music is suing the band for compensation, claiming the song’s musical hook was copied from the 1934 children’s tune, “Kookaburra Sits In the Old Gum Tree”.

1967 [42] Melora Hardin, Houston TX, TV actress (‘Jan Levinson’ on “The Office” 2005-08)

1978 [31] Nicole Scherzinger, Honolulu HI, pop singer (Pussycat Dolls-“Jai Ho!”, “Don’t Cha”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Camera Day”, a celebration of the tradition of recording the moments of your life. These days that’s most often done on your cellphone.

• “Please Take My Children to Work Day”, the 7th annual holiday for part-time & full-time stay-at-home mothers. Moms around-the-world are encouraged to take the day off, or at least part of it, by finding a relative, neighbor, friend, or babysitter to take care of the kids.
NET: http://www.mommasaid.net/pleasetakemychildren.aspx

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1964 [45] 1st TV remote sold with a TV (Zenith Radio Corporation’s ‘Lazy Bones’ uses a wire cable that runs from the TV set to the viewer)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .

1937 [72] 1st ‘Snowmobile’, built by Armand Bombardier in Québec (originally called ‘Ski-dog’, later ‘Ski-do’)

2007 [02] Apple Inc officially releases the ‘iPhone’ (and phone bills go through the roof)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .

1966 [43] ‘World’s Largest Hotdog’ measures 3,124 ft-long (Humberside, England)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] U2 World Tour begins (Barcelona, Spain)
[Wed] Canada Day
[Wed] “Public Enemies”; “Ice Age: Dawn Of the Dinosaurs” open in movie theaters
[Wed] “Great American Road Trip” premieres (NBC)
[Thurs] 39th Roskilde Festival opens (Copenhagen, Denmark)
[Fri] Green Day North American tour begins (Seattle WA)
[Sat] US Independence Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Fish Are Friends, Not Food! Week / Freedom from Fear of Speaking Week / Prevention of Eye Injuries Awareness / Special Recreation Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 16 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS LEAST EFFECTIVE SUMMER PICK-UP LINES:
• “Can I apply some SPF 30 to your itchy skin rash?”
• “Anyone for naked volleyball?”
• “I can’t find my puppy; can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.”
• “Are my ‘Hannah Montana’ water wings a turn-off?”
• “I just grabbed a sno-cone at the snack bar. Do I have to wait 20 minutes before I can have sex?”
• “Can I take some shots of you in your bikini to show to the good folks in my 12-step program?”
• “There are 30 million grains of sand on this beach, but there’s only one you.”
• “Can I borrow your sunglasses? You’re blinding me!”
• “You’re the hottest beeyotch on the beeyatch.”
• “Wanna trade thongs?”
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could be any age again for one week, what age would you be?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: Women with THIS feature are perceived by both genders to be more intelligent.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Short hair.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.


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