Monday, June 28, 2010        Edition: #4293
Ahhh, the Sweet Smell of BS!


WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:

• 54-year-old actor Mel Gibson’s former partner Oksana Grigorieva has spoken out about her stormy relationship with the star, branding him ‘cruel’ as he’s not paying her ‘a penny’ toward the upkeep of their daughter, Lucia, forcing them to live on credit cards. Gibson split from Grigorieva, the mother of his 7-month-old child, earlier this year and the former couple is now seeking restraining orders against each other. (These mid-life crises can be oh-so-expensive.)
– “Mail on Sunday”
• Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen’s father has filed for bankruptcy and is facing foreclosure on his California home, according to a report. David Olsen, who fathered the billionaire twins with his first wife Jamie, has fallen behind on payments on his Tarzana CA property and owes the bank circa $2.2 million. (When it comes to spending, it seems these apples didn’t fall far from the tree.)
– “Daily Dish”
• 30-year-old Brit model/actress Kelly Brook (“Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo”) & 31-year-old “Glee” star Matthew Morrison (‘Will Schuester’) have apparently become an item. The couple, who first met at Elton John’s Oscar party in March, have been spotted out together at various venues around London. She’s a bit of a serial dater, having recently dumped UK rugby player Danny Cipriani, whom she latched onto after ditching “Titanic” star Billy Zane, whom she dated following a farewell to action movie actor Jason Statham (“The Transporter”). (In used car lingo, she’s got a lot of miles on her.)
– “News Of the World”
• Veterinarian Cindy Bressler has a bone to pick with Mariah Carey when it comes to her unpaid bill of $30,000. Carey, who owns 3 Jack Russell Terriers, is being sued by Bressler who alleges she’s owed the money for her month-long stay in California to assist with the birth of Carey’s latest addition, ‘Jackie Lambchops’. (Flying in a vet … further proof you CAN have too much money.)
– “New York Daily News”
• The legend of ‘Dracula’ was inspired by the 15th Century Romanian warlord Vlad the Impaler. Researchers at Ancestry.com have recently discovered that Robert Pattinson, who plays sparkly vampire ‘Edward’ in the “Twilight Saga” series, is related to him. (And this was discovered just as the new “Twilight” movie is set to open … coincidence?)
– AP
• Wed on the weekend: 43-year-old “CSI: Miami” star Eva La Rue (‘Natalia Boa Vista’) & businessman Joe Cappuccio in Zihuateneio, Mexico (her 3rd attempt); and 31-year-old actress Mena Suvari (“American Beauty”) & music producer Simone Sestito in a private church in Vatican City, Italy (her 2nd kick at the can).
– “Life & Style”

TODAY’S SHOW BI SKED:
• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – TI (“King Uncaged”, due August 17th).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Adam Lambert (“For Your Entertainment”).
• “Gossip Girl” (CW) – ‘Blair’ tries to impress students at NYU with a private Lady Gaga concert.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Fanfarlo (“Reservoir”).
• “Last Comic Standing” (NBC) – Comedians get another chance to impress the judges during the first round of semi-finals.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Keith Urban (“Defying Gravity”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tokyo Police Club (“Champ”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Aventura (“ The Last”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – OK Go (“Of the Blue Colour Of the Sky”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Black Eyed Peas – Will I am has slammed recent speculation that Fergie is quitting the group, insisting the online gossip is ‘all lies’.
• Foo Fighters – Guitarist Chris Shiflett is venturing into country music with a CD out in July and a tour this Summer. Chris Shiflett & The Dead Peasants release their self-titled debut July 13th.
• Jane’s Addiction – New bassist Duff McKagan tells “Spinner” magazine the band could have a new album out in 2011.
• Michael Jackson – His Swarovski Crystal glove sold for a staggering $192,000 at an auction in Las Vegas on Friday. That brought on an impromptu standing O among the attendees.
• Lady Gaga – Tonight her “Monster Ball” kicks off another North American leg in Montréal, where the long-running trek began November 27, 2009. She tells “Rolling Stone” she may have her next album title tattooed on her body, then have her photo taken. It’s due out in early 2011.
• Miranda Lambert – “The House That Built Me” is spending a 4th week atop the “Billboard” country song chart. “Only Prettier” will be the next single from her “Revolution” album.
• Muse – In a surprise appearance, U2’s The Edge joined them onstage at the UK’s “Glastonbury Festival” Saturday night for a rendition of “Where the Streets Have No Name”. U2 was scheduled to headline the event until Bono’s back surgery forced them to back out.
• Santana – His upcoming album of classic rock covers will include Chris Daughtry on Def Leppard’s “Photograph”; Joe Cocker on Jimi Hendrix’s “Little Wing”; Rob Thomas on Cream’s “Sunshine Of Your Love”; and Scott Weiland on the Stones’ “Can’t You Hear Me Knocking”. The as-yet untitled album is due in September.
• Sarah McLachlan – Her revamped “Lilith Fair” has become the latest victim of the economic turndown, promoters scrapping tour stops in Arizona and Tennessee due to poor ticket sales.

HOME REMEDIES FOR SUMMER TROUBLES:
• Cuts & Scrapes – In a pinch, dab on a little honey and then cover with a bandage. Honey has antibacterial properties, and studies have shown that it can speed wound healing.
• Heat Rash – Apply baking soda or cornstarch directly to the rash site to absorb moisture and sweat. This is an age-old approach, recommended by many country grandmothers.
• Insect Bites – Apply a drop or two of peppermint oil. It has a cooling effect and also increases circulation to the bite, speeding the healing process. Alternatively, try peppermint toothpaste.
• Sunburn – Soak a few sheets of paper towels in white vinegar, and apply them to the burned areas. Vinegar contains acetic acid, which helps ease sunburn pain, itching, and inflammation.
• Swimmer’s Ear – Grate 3 cloves of garlic, cover them with olive oil and let the mixture stand overnight. Strain out the garlic and apply 3 drops in the affected ear.
– Adapted from RD.com

TEEN REPELLENT:

Mosquito devices, which emit painful high-frequency sounds audible only to children and young adults, could be banned following a debate at the Council of Europe. About 5,000 of the devices are thought to be in use in Britain – more than anywhere else – to discourage young people from gathering in public areas. In fact, 25% of local municipal councils in the UK either use or have used the $750-machines. (Which can be defeated with 98-cent earplugs.)
– Guardian.co.uk

MORE BLASTED HORNS:

The vuvuzela is not the only horn in a South African sports fan’s weaponry. There is also …
• Babazela – This 6-inch novelty whistle instrument has been described as the ‘stepchild’ of the vuvuzela.
• Kuduzela – Shaped like the twisting horns of the kudu antelope, it’s larger than the vuvuzela and said to sound like a trumpeting elephant.
• Momozela – It reportedly sounds like a baby crying. While many may find it irritating, soccer fanatics love the sound it makes.
– “Globe & Mail”

THE ECONOMICS OF HAIR:

Human hair is becoming a hot commodity as increasingly more uses are found for it. The rarest and most expensive is natural blond hair, because about 90% of the world’s population has dark brown hair. Blond hair can cost up to 3 times as much, $1,500 for 100 grams (about a quarter-pound). Besides wigs, human hair has many other uses including … food. It’s a rich source of L-cysteine, an amino acid that’s extracted and used as a flavor enhancer that can be found in dough for pizza crusts and bagels. It can also be used to give food a meat-like flavor, especially dog food. (Nice to know a snack is always waiting atop our heads … oh, except for [sports guy].)
– BBC News

HOW TO ACE A SECOND DATE:

Even if the first date went amazingly well, it’s the second that often determines if things are going to move forward or fizzle out. Here’s how to make sure that second date isn’t your last …
• Break Out the Bandage Dress – Physical attraction and chemistry are very important to men, and your guy needs to feel that early on for a relationship to develop.
• Tell Him More About Yourself – Open up about your likes and dislikes and the crazy adventures you’ve had, but give him plenty of opportunities to reveal more about his life and personality as well.
• Touch Him Flirtatiously – Touching his upper arm briefly or giving his forearm a quick, light squeeze lets him know that you feel comfortable and at ease.
• Leave Him Wanting More – Put the brakes on hooking up so he actually has the chance to chase you a little … making way for date number 3. (Who said women are conniving?)
– Condensed from “Cosmopolitan”

WHEN IS GOOD CREDIT TOO GOOD?
Here’s one you don’t see often: A bank threatening to turn away customers who pay off their credit cards too quickly! The bank, World Financial Network National Bank of Columbus OH, claims it loses money on such customers since they tend not to carry balances or incur late fees. Whether or not that’s true, financial experts say they’ve never heard of a bank turning away financially responsible credit card customers. (Quit paying your bills … your killing the banks!)
– StarTribune.com

THE THINGS WE DO (AND DO NOT):

• 71% of us eavesdrop.
• 58% have called into work sick when we weren’t.
• 50% admit to regularly sneaking food into movie theaters.
• 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.
• 35% give to charity at least once a month.
• 29% of us ignore an RSVP on an invitation.
– “Are You Normal?”

BS FAST FACTS:

• On the first day of the World Cup, there were 12 million visits to news websites … per minute. That compares to 8 million per minute on the night Barack Obama was elected US president.
– “Magazine Monitor”
• Johannesburg, South Africa is 1,676 meters (5,499 ft) above sea level, even higher than Denver CO.
– LiveScience.com

AND WE QUOTE:

“When I wake up in the morning, I feel just like any other insecure 24-year-old girl. Then I say, ‘Bitch, you’re Lady Gaga, you get up and walk the walk today’.”
– QMI Agency

BS CHRONOMETER 06.28.10


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1926 [84] Mel Brooks (Kaminsky), Brooklyn NY, really rich Broadway producer (“The Producers”)/movie director (“Blazing Saddles”)/widower of actress Anne Bancroft

1948 [62] Kathy Bates, Memphis TN, movie actress (“Charlotte’s Web”, 1990 Academy Award-“Misery”)

1966 [44] John Cusack, Evanston IL, movie actor (“Hot Tub Time Machine”, “Runaway Jury”)

1976 [34] Tim Nordwind, Kalamazoo MI, rock bassist/singer (OK Go-“Here It Goes Again”, “Get Over It”)

1977 [33] Mark Stoermer, Houston TX, rock bassist (The Killers-“When You Were Young”, “Mr Brightside”)

1986 [24] Kellie Pickler, Albemarle NC, country singer (“Best Days of Your Life “, “Red High Hells”)/former “American Idol” finalist (2006)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Insurance Awareness Day”. Hmm, now who do you think invented that?

• “Paul Bunyan Day”, celebrating the gigantic lumberjack of American folklore. According to the story, Bunyan and his blue ox ‘Babe’ traveled around the country where he became known for his logging feats.

• “Please Take My Children to Work Day”, a day to let stay-at-home moms have a good laugh and maybe get a little appreciation.

• “Tapioca Day”, honoring that stuff you put in pudding that looks like fish eyes.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1998 [12] 1st TV ratings week in which more viewers watch cable/satellite channels than broadcast channels (that Home & Garden channel is riveting, isn’t it?)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

1994 [16] 1st ‘UV Index’ reading, measuring daily ultraviolet exposure from the Sun’s rays (aka the ‘Melanoma Factor’)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .

1984 [26] England’s Melvyn Switzer sets ‘Loudness Record for Snoring’ at 85.5 decibels (a level that can damage ears over time)

1988 [22] An ostrich on the Kibbutz Ha’on farm in Israel lays heaviest-ever bird egg at 5.1 lbs (2.3 kg)

COMING UP . . .

[Tues] Remote Control Day
[Tues] Camera Day
[Tues] Waffle Iron Day
[Wed] “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” opens in  movie theaters
[Thurs] Canada Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .

Fish Are Friends, Not Food! Week / Helen Keller Deaf-Blindness Awareness Week / Prevention of Eye Injuries Awareness Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 17 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
YOU KNOW IT’S GONNA BE A BAD DAY WHEN …
• The worst player on the golf course wants to play you for money.
• Your 4-year-old tells you that it’s almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.
• Your own sister forgets your birthday … your twin sister.
• You go to hang up the clothes you wore home from the party last night … and there aren’t any.
• It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.
• Your car payment, house payment, and your girlfriend are all 3 months overdue.
• You need one bathroom scale for each foot.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I gave up jogging for my health … my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my shorts on fire.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: In a recent survey, most women say they will keep THIS indefinitely.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Their favorite ‘little black dress’.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

The problem with neighbors is that they live next door.


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