Monday, June 12, 2006        Edition: #3303
Get a Load of This Sheet!

WEEKEND TABLOID BS:
• Britain’s “News Of The World” is making the stunning claims that Paul McCartney’s 37-year-old estranged wife Heather Mills was a high-class ‘working girl’ in the early 1990s. The trashy Sunday tabloid says the former model charged up to $8,000 per session as a call girl in top London hotels. Among her purported uber-rich clients – billionaire arms dealer Adnan Khashoggi, Saudi royalty, and members of Dubai’s Maktoum family. Even in 15-year-old photos it’s hard to believe she was deemed attractive enough to command that kind of loot, but one thing’s for sure – she better settle up the divorce quick before the old ex- leaks some more wild stories.
• TMZ.com says Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie & their 3 kids are back in the US and set to move back into their $9-million Malibu CA estate. The place has been buzzing with workers who’ve reportedly been finishing off a security system that includes an elaborate set of cameras pointing in every direction. Now they’ll be able to sell off baby pics from all angles.
• According to “Life & Style Weekly”, Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey’s divorce will be finalized this SATURDAY (June 17th). Meanwhile, “Star Magazine” is reporting that Simpson & Jared Leto could be Hollywood’s next hot couple. So far, the “Alexander” actor’s biggest claim to fame has been dating famous women.
• Seems it’s now “Fun with Jim & Jenny”. First came the sightings, then the rumors, now a source close to the couple confirms to “People” magazine that 44-year-old actor Jim Carrey & 33-year-old former ‘Playmate’/pseudo-actress Jenny McCarthy are indeed a couple.
• In an exclusive chat with “Extra”, singer/actress Jennifer Lopez says all those baby rumors we’ve been hearing are simply false. She says adopting children is a wonderful thing and she’d love to have kids one day … just not today, okay?
• A know-it-all source tells “Grazia Magazine” that sort-of-actresses Sienna Miller & Sadie Frost are feuding over lecherous lover Jude Law … again. Sadie, the actor’s ex-wife, is said to be furious he & Sienna have rekindled their romance and told him in an e-mail that she’ll never make him happy. This leads to the obvious question … why do women want this wuss?
• Here we go again … another ex-manager is suing a former star from his stable. This time “National Enquirer” says it’s agent Rob Lee, who’s demanding a half-million from “Desperate Housewives” actress Nicollette Sheridan. Seems she stopped paying him his 10% after firing him in November, 2004. Maybe she wasn’t all that appreciative of his previous efforts finding her non-hit movies like “Dead Husbands” and “The Karate Dog”?
• Meantime, Nicollette Sheridan’s on-again fiancé, angst-ridden singer Michael Bolton, says he’s put off their wedding plans until 2008. “Contact Music” theorizes it may be a money issue because the giant engagement rock was so expensive. Time for another “Greatest Hits” package, Mike! Er, better make that a “Greatest Hit” package.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• ABBA – The stage production “Mama Mia”, based on their music, has been a big international hit. Now  Bjorn Ulvaeus wants to create a new stage show based on the dramatic life of former bandmate Anni-Frid Lyngstad. She grew up an orphan, the product of the WW2 ‘Lebensborn Program’ in which occupying Nazi officers were encouraged to conceive children with ‘racially suitable’ Norwegians. In 1992 she married her 3rd husband, a German prince, who later died of cancer but she still carries the title ‘Her Serene Highness’.
• Madonna – She has a deal with fashion chain H&M to provide her entire touring staff with ‘off-stage wardrobe’ during the “Confessions on a Dance Floor” tour. Jean-Paul Gaultier is handling onstage apparel … what there is of it.
• Rob Thomas – He says matchbox twenty’s 4th studio album is the next record he plans on making, but there’s no word on exactly when. It’s been 4 years since the band’s last effort, “More Than You Think You Are”.
• Smashing Pumpkins – Former Jane’s Addiction rocker Eric Avery is competing with Montréal’s Melissa Auf Der Maur to play bass in the reformed band. Frontman Billy Corgan & drummer Jimmy Chamberlain are back on board and auditioning for the 3rd member. Auf Der Maur replaced original bassist D’arcy Wretzky when she quit in 1999, and she wants her job back.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Beyoncé Knowles’ reps are holding open auditions in 5 cities to recruit an all-girl backing band for her upcoming tour. They’re seeking female musicians with ‘a look’ who will hit the road with her JUNE 20th. Finalists go to New Orleans later in the week for face-time with the lady herself.
• Coldplay guests on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC).
• Gnarls Barkely perform on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC) after topping UK charts for 9 weeks with the mega-hit “Crazy”.
• “Hell’s Kitchen 2“ debuts (FOX/CityTV) in which culinary contestants once again endure chef Gordon Ramsay’s hellishly intense kitchen boot camp. This time they’re competing for the job of Executive Chef at a new Las Vegas restaurant.
• “How to Get a Guy” debuts (ABC/CTV), a romantic reality series follows the trials and tribulations of love as seen through the eyes of 4 attractive and available women.

ONLINE HONORS:
TODAY the 10th annual “Webbys”, in recognition of exceptional websites and the people behind them, will be presented in NYC by the International Academy of Digital Arts & Sciences. Among THIS YEAR’s honorees …
• Prince receives a ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’ for his ongoing use of the Internet to connect with audiences. He was one of the first major recording artists to distribute his music online.
• Gorillaz, the virtual band that fuses music & animation, has been chosen ‘Artist of the Year’. The project is the brainchild of Britain’s Damon Albarn & Jamie Hewlett.
• MySpace.com is chosen ‘Breakout of the Year’. Its founders, Tom Anderson & Chris DeWolfe, sold the youth-oriented interactive site to News Corp for a reported $580 million.
• Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks and HDNet, is ‘Entrepreneur of the Year’.
• “NY Times” columnist Thomas Friedman, author of “The World is Flat: A Brief History of The 21st Century”, has been picked ‘Person of the Year’.
• Dr Robert Kahn, co-inventor of the TCP/IP protocols, the technology used to transmit information on the Internet., also gets a ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’.
– AP

THE SKINNY ON LOSING WEIGHT:
Want to lose weight faster? Drink as much ice water as you can! Researchers say cold water consumption forces your system to rev up metabolism to keep your body temperature from dropping. End result … weight loss is sped up!
– “Woman’s Day”

THE MITSUBISHI CODE:
For well over a thousand years, locals in the the small farming village of Shingo in northern Japan have passed down the legend that Jesus spent most of his life there, arriving as a young man at the age of 21 and returning to Judea 12 years later in order to preach about ‘the holy land of Japan’. The legend also claims it was his brother who was crucified, leaving Jesus free to return to Japan where he married a local woman named Miyuko and lived happily to the ripe old age of 106. Need proof of this preposterous claim? Simply travel to Shingo, where to this very day you can view the plot of land where Jesus is said to be buried.
– “Times of London”

BY THE NUMBERS:
A snapshot of who were are and what we do …
• 90% of dads with young families were present at the birth of their children.
• 84% of dads say the best “Fathers Day” gift is to spend time with their families
• 49% of today’s fathers describe themselves as better parents than their own fathers were.
• 47% of guys say the absolute worst household chore is cleaning windows.
• 30% of us estimate that we have at least one ‘completely lousy day’ per month.
• 20% of adolescent girls suffer from severe fatigue, almost 3 times the rate for adolescent boys.

BS AMAZING FACT:
People who make a snap decision to quit smoking are 2-to-3 times more successful than those who plan to quit on a specific day.
– livescience.com

AND WE QUOTE:
“I’ve become like the guy in relationships. Lately I just cannot be in a monogamous relationship but there are people I want to date.”
– “Prairie Home Companion” actress Lindsay Lohan, telling the JULY issue of “Harper’s Bazaar” why she’s become the aggressor … or why doesn’t shave her legs … or some damn thing.

THE BULL SHEET 06.12.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1924 [82] George HW Bush, Milton MA, 41st US President (1989-93)/Dubya’s dad

1951 [55] Brad Delp, Boston MA, classic rock guitarist/singer (Boston-“More Than a Feeling”, “Long Time”)

1957 [49] Timothy Busfield, Lansing MI, TV actor (“The West Wing” 2000-06)  UP NEXT: “Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip”, NBC-TV’s behind-the-scenes series about a TV comedy show, coming THIS FALL.

1959 [47] Scott Thompson, North Bay ON (raised Brampton ON), TV host (“My Fabulous Gay Wedding”)/TV comic (“Kids in the Hall” 1988-94)

1971 [35] Mark Henry, Silsbee TX, pro wrestler (“Raw is War”, “WWE Smackdown!”)/World’s Strongest Man (2002)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Hooray For Year-Round School Day”, promoting the benefits of a year-round school calendar. An idea likely started by some really worn out parents somewhere.

• “Taco Day”, a day to stuff a hard tortilla shell with your favorite hot ‘n spicy fillings. Tomorrow is “Unbearable Cramps Day”.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1984 [22] Die-hard LA Lakers fan Jack Nicholson moons a group of Celtics supporters during an NBA playoff game at the Boston Garden (movie fans get the same wrinkly view in 2002′s “About Schmidt”)

1992 [14] “Batman Returns” opens in movie theaters (actor Michael Keaton’s 2nd kick at the cape)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1792 [214] George Vancouver discovers site of Vancouver BC (what a coincidence – same name!)

1839 [167] According to (fictitious) legend, Abner Doubleday creates baseball in Cooperstown NY. Then, 100 years later . . .

1939 [67] The ‘Baseball Hall of Fame’ is formally dedicated in Cooperstown NY

1997 [09] 1st baseball ‘Interleague Play’, ending 126-year tradition of separating the major leagues until the World Series (in 1st game, San Francisco Giants beat Texas Rangers 4-3)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Juggling Day
[Wed] Family History Day
[Wed] American Flag Day
[Thurs] Smile Power Day
[Thurs] Nursing Assistants Day
[Sun] MuchMusic Video Awards
[Sun] Fathers Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Automotive Service Professionals Week / Families in Business Week / Meet A Mate Week / Little League Baseball Week / Men’s Health Week / US Flag Week

BULL’S BITS

MOSQUITO SURVIVAL GUIDE:
This is “Pest Control Month”, so here are a few tips on avoiding skitters …
• Avoid washing your hair with fragrant shampoos.
• Don’t wear dark, solid shades or tight clothing.
• Mosquitoes are attracted to blue more than any other color.
• Don’t put a sandbox in a damp, shady area.
• Avoid planting shrubs that attract bugs.
• When hanging a rubber tire for a kids’ swing, drill drain holes for water.
• Drain kids’ pool after usage.
• Repair all tent holes immediately while camping.
• Odd fact: mosquitoes have killed more people than have all the world’s wars combined.

BS ‘BUST MY BLUFF’:
Contestant must choose the correct option after being given 2 answers to a perplexing question, one a total bluff, the other the real explanation ….
GAME #1 –
• Why is something set aside for a specific purpose said to be ‘earmarked’?
a. In ancient times, servants were given an option after 6 years of service. If the servant chose to remain, the master bored a hole in his ear indicating the servant had the job for life. [CORRECT]
b. In medieval England, very few people could read and write so possessions of value were labeled by the owner by spreading ink on the right ear and then embossing the object with it. Because no 2 ears left precisely the same mark, it was obvious who owned what. [BS]

GAME #2 –
• How did it become tradition for a new groom to carry his bride over the threshold?
a. According to Greek custom, a new groom had to prove to his bride that he was manly enough to consummate the marriage. He could do this by exhibiting various feats of strength, including crushing a stone with his teeth. But in the heat of such an important moment, simply lifting and carrying his betrothed became the quickest way for a groom to prove his worth. [BS]
b. Ancient Romans believed that is was good luck for newlyweds to walk into their home with the right foot first. To make sure this happened without a lot of dancing around, the groom would simply lift the bride and stride in. [CORRECT]
– “Malarky”

BS RANDOM JOKES:
• Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded …
• I got an e-mail from the boss that begins “Please let me know if you did not receive this …”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: THIS sporting goods item first went on sale in 1978. Last year 65 million were sold worldwide.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: The sports bra.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
This week’s “BS” samplers include Augie Tulba @ Q103 [Radio Maui] Wailuku HI; Edgardo @ X100 [WXYX] Bayamon, Puerto Rico; Gary Tanga @ The Beach [KCDU] Monterey CA; and Chris Barnatt @ Wild 101 [CKEY] Niagara Falls ON/Buffalo NY. Welcome to the pasture newbies! You can subscribe or update your subscription anytime right here … http://thebullsheet.com/location.html


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