Tuesday, June 14, 2011        Edition: #4527

100% Grade A Bull!

Latest scary show biz couple rumor: 42-year-old actress Renée Zellweger & 33-year-old singer John Mayer (now there’s a pair that deserve each other!) . . . Movie actor Russell Crowe has gone on an anti-circumcision ranting spree on Twitter (seems he’s joined the ranks of so-called ‘intactivists’, people who support banning infant circumcision) . . . Following her recent appearance on “Good Morning America”, 29-year-old actress/singer Jennifer Hudson was rushed to hospital due to abdominal pain, which turned out to be due to food poisoning (stay away from the ABC-TV canteen!) . . . 47-year-old Missouri native Brad Pitt & partner Angelina Jolie have donated $500,000 to the Community Foundation Of the Ozarks, which supports rebuilding efforts after the recent tornados in the Joplin, Missouri area (even with their corny blended nickname, they’re hard to hate) . . . 25-year-old movie star Shia LaBeouf says this Summer’s “Transformers” sequel (opening June 29th) will be his last (we’re fuzzled as to how they managed to squeeze 3 films out of this lame premise) . . . 30-year-old reality TV star Kim Kardashian has reportedly commissioned a decoy engagement ring made of cubic zirconia, so the 20.5-carat, $2-million original from her NBA player-fiancé Kris Humphries won’t be in jeopardy (actually, just saying there’s a decoy would give wannabe thieves pause, no?) . . . Meantime, word has it Kardashian has sold rights to exclusive coverage of her wedding to “People” magazine for $1 million (as a working girl, she has no qualms about selling herself) . . . And this news isn’t unexpected: Just days after reports she’s been spotted with Britain’s Prince Harry, Pippa Middleton, youngster sister of Kate Middleton, has reportedly split from her banker-boyfriend Alex Loudon (“Mummy, I want a prince too!”).

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC) – Hopefuls perform for the judges in Seattle, Washington.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Airborne Toxic Event (“All At Once”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Reclusive 1990s singer Lauryn Hill (“The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Fitz & The Tantrums (“Pickin’ Up The Pieces”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Everest (“On Approach”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Broadway cast of “Anything Goes”.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Jordin Sparks (“Battlefield”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – And You Will Know Us By the Trail Of Dead (“Tao Of the Dead”).
• “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark” – The trouble-plagued $70-million musical finally has its official opening on Broadway. The revamped show includes new songs written by Bono & The Edge, as well as a tweaked story and new choreography. The soundtrack album is also out today.
NET: http://spidermanonbroadway.marvel.com
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Randy Travis w/Josh Turner (“Anniversary Celebration”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Child prodigy Jackie Evancho (“Dream With Me”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – The top vocalists from each team compete against each other.

• Alabama – They organized and headline tonight’s “Bama Rising” fundraising concert in Birmingham, Alabama for area tornado relief. Also performing: Brad Paisley, Darius Rucker, Dierks Bentley, Little Big Town, Luke Bryan, Martina McBride, Montgomery Gentry, Rodney Atkins, Sara Evans, and others. With that line-up, no wonder the event is SRO.
NET: http://www.bamarising.org
• Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band – 69-year-old saxophonist Clarence Clemons is seriously ill after suffering a stroke at his home in Florida, according to “Rolling Stone”.
• Chris Brown – He tells “The Source” his most recent album “FAME” is not a comeback attempt, but ‘an album of triumph’. Quote: “It’s more of me showing and proving everybody wrong.”
• Michael Jackson – Despite a botched launch party due to intervention from Joe Jackson last week, the scents ‘Jackson’s Tribute’ for men and ‘Jackson’s Legend’ for women will be on sale in the US soon, and in France this September. A 50 ml bottle will cost $40 in America and about 40 euros in France.
• “NOW That’s What I Call Country Vol 4” – Today the 4th compilation album in the series is released, featuring country hits by Blake Shelton, Carrie Underwood, George Strait, Keith Urban, Lady Antebellum, Miranda Lambert Sugarland, Taylor Swift, and the Zac Brown Band.
• White Stripes – Jack White & his British model-wife Karen Elson have thrown a party for family & friends in Nashville, Tennessee to celebrate both their 6th anniversary and …  impending divorce. Seems they’re happy with the time they had together but are now cool to split.

• “Battle: Los Angeles” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): As an alien invasion threatens Earth, a veteran Marine staff sergeant leads his new platoon into battle with an uncommon enemy. A visual effects-heavy bonanza starring Aaron Eckhart, Michelle Rodriguez, Ne-Yo.
• “Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son” ( PG-13 Comedy ) – Martin Lawrence returns as FBI agent ‘Malcolm Turner’ and his deep-cover alter-ego ‘Big Momma’. This time he (she?) is joined by a teenage stepson as they go undercover at an all-girls performing arts school.
• “Hall Pass” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Owen Wilson & Jason Sudeikis play a couple of married guys who are given a week off from their marriages to do whatever they want without consequences. Co-stars Christina Applegate, Jenna Fischer (“The Office”).
• “Red Riding Hood” ( PG-13 Horror Fantasy ): Set in a medieval village that’s haunted by a werewolf, Amanda Seyfried plays a young girl who falls for an orphaned woodcutter, much to her family’s displeasure. Co-stars Lukas Haas (“Inception”), Gary Oldman.
• Also released today: “Happiness is … Peanuts: Snoopy’s Adventures” (Animation); “Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince”/”Harry Potter & The Order Of the Phoenix” (Ultimate Edition); “Have a Laugh: Volumes 3 & 4” (Animated Comedy); “Haven: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); “Jackass 3.5: The Unrated Movie” (Straight-to-DVD Comedy); “Norm MacDonald: Me Doing Standup” (Comedy); “Tyler Perry’s House of Payne: Volume 8” (TV); “Vanishing Of the Bees (Documentary); and “When They Were Young” (Sports Documentary).

At Dundee University in Scotland, comic enthusiasts can now obtain a degree in ‘Comic Book Studies’. The one-year Masters program (led by Dr Chris Murray, one of the UK’s leading authorities on comics) is offered through the English department, and begins this Fall. Graduates of this course can go on to pursue a PhD in comics as well. Students in the program will learn about the impact comics have had on art, literature, and pop culture. There will also be a practical component, which focuses on publishing and developing a career as a comics expert, writer, or artist. (The course can be found in the source calendar under ‘Nerd 201’.)
– CBC.ca

• Ready to hit the beach? Brooklyn NY-based designer Andrew Schneider is now taking orders for his ‘Solar-Powered Bikini’. Capable of charging your cellphone or MP3 player, the hi-tech swimsuit comprises thin, flexible photovoltaic film strips and USB connectors, woven together with conductive thread. Each bikini, priced at just under $200, is entirely hand-stitched, requiring an average of 80 hours to make. No need to worry about your iPod running out of juice; the solar bikini will charge your favorite gadgets while you soak up the rays!
– Ecouterre.com
• Hotel companies are racing to create a better room key. Some chains are adopting permanent keys that repeat guests can carry in their wallets and use for multiple trips at a variety of properties. Other establishments are doing away with physical keys altogether; instead, guests can open their room doors by holding their cellphone next to the lock. The big selling point of the new keys is that they let travelers skip the front desk and go straight to their rooms.
– “Wall Street Journal”

Australian researchers have found that drinking 5 regular cups of caffeinated coffee may raise the risk of auditory hallucinations. La Trobe University researchers asked participants to listen for Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” while wearing headphones, and when they heard it, to hit a buzzer. While the song never actually played (only white noise), those who’d downed 5 or more cups of coffee buzzed 3 times on average, while the low-caffeinated people buzzed an average of just once. (And what’s their excuse?)
– “Herald Sun”

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 85% of drivers don’t know what to do when a stoplight is flashing yellow.
• 75% of women have had a dream about their man dressed up as a firefighter.
• 45% of adults snore on occasion; 25% percent are habitual snorers.
• 20% of women say their best friend would definitely break the law for them.
• 15% of us admit to having served food that has fallen on the floor.
• 6% of adults have sent sexually explicit messages over the Internet.

• “Oh, so you don’t work?”
• “I’m jealous. I wish my husband were rich so I wouldn’t have to work, either.”
• “I’m sure you’re not the only one who’s ever wasted money on a college degree.”
• “That explains why your son is so clingy!”
• “Weird. I assumed your house would be super-clean.”
• “How June Cleaver of you!”
– “Redbook”

Junrey Balawing of Zamboanga del Norte in the Philippines is now the ‘World’s Shortest Man’, having turned 18-years-old this week. He measures only 24 inches (61 cm) from head-to-foot lying down and just over 23 inches (58 cm) standing up, making him not only the shortest living man but also the shortest man in history, according to Guinness World Records.
– SunStar.com.ph

Cow’s hooves are used to make the foam in fire extinguishers; their intestines to make tennis racquet strings; their bones to make fine bone china; and their horns to make buttons.
– BBC News


1946 [65] Donald Trump, NYC, TV reality show host (“The [Celebrity] Apprentice” since 2004)/real estate billionaire (Trump Tower/Plaza/Castle)/author (“The Art Of the Deal”)

1961 [50] Boy George (George O’Dowd), Eltham UK, oldies singer (Culture Club-“Do You Really Want to Hurt Me”, “Karma Chameleon”)/currently working as a club DJ

1969 [42] Steffi Graf, Mannheim, Germany, retired tennis player who won 21 Grand Slam singles titles and earned over $20 million/Mrs Andre Agassi since 2001 (2 children)

1988 [23] Kevin McHale, Plano TX, TV actor (wheelchair-bound ‘Artie Abrams’ on “Glee” since 2009)

• “Family History Day”, a day to ‘share the folklore, legends and myths of your own particular family tree’.

• “Little League Baseball Week”, celebrating the game played by little gaffers. Little League ball was founded in 1939 in Williamsport PA with 3 teams. At the time, a $35 donation would purchase uniforms for all of them. Nowadays there are more than 7,000 leagues with over 2 million players.

• “World Blood Donor Day”, the 6th annual dedicated to thanking and celebrating voluntary blood donors around-the-globe. It occurs on the birthday of Karl Landsteiner, the creator of the A-B-O blood grouping system, for which he won the Nobel Prize in 1930. One of the main goals of the observance is to ensure the availability of ‘safe blood’ for transfusion.

2002 [09] “The Bourne Identity”, featuring the famous Mini Cooper chase scene, opens in movie theaters

1995 [16] Diane Sawyer interviews Michael Jackson and new wife Lisa Marie Presley on ABC-TV’s “PrimeTime Live” (Quote: “Do you have sex?” “Yes, yes, yes!”)

1951 [60] 1st ‘Commercial Computer’, UNIVAC 1, is unveiled by US Census Bureau (at 8-ft-high, 7.5-ft-wide and 14.5-ft-long, it dims lights all over Washington DC when in use)

2003 [08] 53-year-old Dad Mohammad Murad of the United Arab Emirates marries for the 12th time in a bid to secure a place in the “Guinness Book of World Records” with 100 offspring (already has 30 sons & 33 daughters)

[Wed] Full ‘Strawberry’ Moon
[Wed] World Elder Abuse Awareness Day
[Thurs] Recess At Work Day
[Fri] “Green Lantern”; “Mr Popper’s Penguins” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Work@Home Fathers Day
This Week Is … Meet a Mate Week
This Month Is … Camping Month


• Eileen in accounting finally stops wearing wool socks with her Birkenstocks.
• You can cool the doghouse with the breeze from your spinning electricity meter.
• Bill Nye the Science Guy demonstrates how it is now possible to fry an egg on Howie Mandel’s head.
• Goth chicks actually have to start applying white make-up.
• Oil company CEOs now lighting their cigars with $100-bills instead of the usual 20s.
• Annoying parking attendant switches from asking “Cold enough for ya?” to asking “Hot enough for ya?”
• Parenting blogs display ticker counting down the days until school starts up again.
• Father O’Leary needs to fan himself more often than usual during the middle-school boys’ choir practice.
– Adapted from TopFive.com

Time and money aside, I would rather be _____ .

• Whyzit called ‘lipstick’ if you can still move your lips?
• Whyzit there isn’t tax on stuff we don’t like?
• Whyzit the more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs?
• Whyzit everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die?
• Whyzit when you talk about marriage, 2 words always come up … ‘commitment’ and ‘institution’?

Your ‘dilator naris posterior’ is itching. Which will you be scratching?
a. Your butt.
b. Your nose. [CORRECT. It’s the muscle that dilates the aperture of your nostrils.]
c. Your belly button.
– Halife.com

Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.

Today’s Question: Men say THIS quality in a woman makes her ‘smart and sexy’ while women say the same quality in a man is a total turn-off.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Being frugal. (ING Direct)


Life is a sexually transmitted disease that is always fatal.

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