Tuesday, June 16, 2015              Edition: #5474

Can You Believe This Sheet?

★ 35-year-old actor Chris Pratt has confirmed he will star in a sequel to the new mega-hit movie “Jurassic World”, alongside co-star Bryce Dallas Howard. And after a record-breaking opening weekend, there’s likely to be far more than a single sequel. Quote: “They have me for I think 38 movies or something.” “Jurassic World” has already raked in a record $511.8 million globally, making it the first film to surpass a half-billion on its opening weekend.
– “Entertainment Weekly”
★ Demi Lovato is replacing Katy Perry as the voice of ‘Smurfette’ in the upcoming 3rd animated “Smurfs” feature film. The 22-year-old singer will voice the role in the sequel “Get Smurfy”, after Perry did the honors in the first 2 films released in 2011 and 2013. The movie traces the origins of the blue creatures, with comedic actor Rainn Wilson (ex-“The Office”) playing evil wizard ‘Gargamel’ and “Homeland” actor Mandy Patinkin voicing ‘Papa Smurf’.
– Bang Showbiz
★ Frank Sinatra’s ‘little black book’ has sold at auction for $8,960. The leather address book from the legendary crooner who died in 1998 at age 82 reads like a who’s who of the showbiz world, featuring names & numbers of famous friends like actors John Wayne and Sidney Poitier, influential political figures, and more than a few Hollywood hotties. After all, the guy was a chick magnet.
– “New York Post”
★ And 50-year-old comic Chris Rock’s ex-wife Malaak Compton-Rock (46) is seeking a huge chunk of his estimated $70-million fortune as a divorce settlement. The couple split last December after a 19-year marriage and court documents show that Malaak is demanding a payout ”commensurate with the marital standard of living”. The couple did have a pre-nuptial agreement but both have agreed its terms expired under a ‘sunset clause’. Oops.
– ContactMusic.com

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – Big, dangerous, and/or extreme acts audition outside the theater.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Wolf Alice (“My Love is Cool”, out June 22nd).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Wale (“The Album About Nothing”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Misterwives (“Our Own House”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/Omni 1) – The Lone Bellow (“Then Came the Morning”).
• “Proof” (TNT) – Debut of a new drama starring Jennifer Beals as a surgeon who wants to determine once and for all if there’s life after death. Co-stars Matthew Modine and Joe Morton.
• “Rizzoli & Isles” (TNT) – This has been cable’s most-watched Summer series, and with good reason. It’s tense, but fun. Angie Harmon & Sasha Alexander return in the Season 6 debut.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Jason Derulo (“Everything Is 4”).
• “Today” (NBC) – Walk Off the Earth (“Sing It All Away”, out today).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Courtney Barnett (“Sometimes I Sit And Think, And Sometimes I Just Sit”).
• “Tyrant” (FX) – The 2nd season debut of this political drama about a dictator’s son (Adam Rayner) who returns to the Middle East after a 20-year exile in America.

• Adam Lambert – “The Original High”, his latest album, is released today. Many of the tracks touch on a recurring theme of loneliness. Is he trying to tell us something?
• Carrie Underwood – Thunder On the Mountain festival June 26-28 in Arkansas was slated to be her 1st concert appearance since giving birth to baby Isaiah but now it’s been announced that the entire event is cancelled. No reason given so far.
• Giorgio Moroder – The legendary dance music producer’s new album, “Déjà Vu”, is out today and it features a number of famous voices. “Rolling Stone” reports they include Britney Spears, Charli XCX, Kylie Minogue, and Sia. It’s Moroder’s first new album in 30 years.
• fun. – Frontman Nate Ruess is out with his 1st solo record, “Grand Romantic”, today. His band is on break while he goes solo and guitarist Jack Antonoff is riding the success of his own project, Bleachers. Ruess will be honored with a Songwriters Hall of Fame award this week.
• Lorde – Opening up to this month’s “Vogue Australia”, she says she’s not afraid to buy men’s clothes if she likes the look of them because she doesn’t ‘discriminate’. Quote: “I do love a perfect pair of pants, the perfect collared shirt, and I wear sneakers, heavy shoes.”
• Muse – They’ve hit the top of the UK chart again with their 7th album, “Drones”. It’s their 5th UK #1 album in-a-row. It’s also become their 1st chart-topping album in the US.
• Third Eye Blind – Today the veteran alt-rockers release their 1st album in 6 years, “Dopamine”. The band is touring this Summer alongside Dashboard Confessional.
• The Who – Pete Townshend’s newly-released “Classic Quadrophenia”, a ‘symphonized’ version of The Who album “Quadrophenia” has sold enough copies to top the UK classical music chart. But it’s been disqualified because the original material it’s inspired by is rock music.
• Wilco – A documentary is on the way chronicling their ‘Solid State Festival’ in Massachusetts. Titled “Every Other Summer”, it follows the 2013 edition and its effect on North Adams MA.

Out today on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Chappie” ( R-Rated Sci-Fi Thriller ): In the near future, crime is patrolled by an oppressive mechanized police force. But now the people are fighting back and one police ‘droid, ‘Chappie’, has been stolen. Stars Hugh Jackman, Dev Patel, Sigourney Weaver.
• “The Lazarus Effect” ( PG-13 Thriller ): Olivia Wilde stars in this story about a group of medical students who discover a way to bring dead patients back to life. It’s described as a creepy cross between “Flatliners” and “Pet Cemetery”. Co-stars Mark Duplass, Evan Peters.
• “Run All Night” ( R-Rated Thriller ): A onetime Brooklyn mobster and prolific hit-man (Liam Neeson) is haunted by the sins of his past as well as a dogged police detective (Vincent D’Onofrio) who’s been after him for 30 years. Co-stars Joel Kinnaman, Bruce McGill.
• “Unfinished Business” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Vince Vaughn plays a small business owner who travels to Europe to close the most important deal of his career. But what begins as a routine business trip quickly goes right off the rails. Co-stars Tom Wilkinson, Dave Franco.
• “The Wrecking Crew” ( NR Music Documentary ): What the Funk Bros did for Motown, the ensemble of backup musicians known as the Wrecking Crew did, only bigger, for the West Coast sound in the 1960s-70s. The film tells the story of the unsung musicians behind the hits.
• Also released today: “Laverne & Shirley: The Complete Series” (Vintage TV); “The Newsroom: The Complete 3rd Season” (TV); “The Odd Couple: The Complete Series” (Vintage TV”); “Survivor’s Remorse: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); and “Two-And-a-Half Men: The Final Season” (TV).

Finally, a solution for the most annoying people in the world … slow text-walkers! The city of Antwerp in Belgium has introduced designated text-walking lanes. The painted white lines marked with ‘Text Walking Lane’ signs create zones especially for zombies who’d rather look down at their smartphone screens than look up and avoid commuter collisions. The project is an initiative of M-lab, a smartphone company motivated not by a deep-seated hatred for slow-walkers, like most of us, but with a mission to stop phone wreckage. They repair up to 35,000 mobiles per day, and claim that a lot of the damage is caused by collisions while text-walking. (They actually stole this idea from the Chinese city of Chongqing, which created a ‘smartphone lane’ last year.)
– Metro.co.uk

Fresh ideas that are now available on the market …
✓ Man Candles – Candles with scents like ‘Fresh-Cut Grass’, ‘Campfire’, and ‘Root Beer’.
✓ Scratch Map – Dad can display all the places he’s taken the family on vacations.
✓ ‘Let’s Go’ – Lighted sports team signs that have a cool retro look.
✓ Vinyl Coasters – These are made from real record albums. A set of 6 costs $20.
✓ Music Subscription – ‘Vinyl Me Please’ sends a new vinyl disc along with a poster monthly.
✓ Ticket Stub Diary – A scrapbook for tickets from concerts and sporting events from his past.
✓ Concert Speaker – A Bluetooth/corded music speaker that looks like a mini-Marshall stack.
✓ Food Subscription – Mantry.com will send Dad a crate of ‘manly’ foods each month.
✓ ‘The X Grill’ – A portable charcoal grill that’s easy to carry and set up.
✓ Ferrari – A 1/16th-scale Enzo made by Silverlit, controlled remotely via iPhone.
✓ Virtual Bluetooth Keyboard – Fits on a keychain and displays a working keyboard on any tabletop.
– Adapted from USAToday.com

“Mashable” writer David Infante recently coined the new acronym ‘YUCCIE’ to describe a ‘Young Urban Creative’, a young person who dreams of launching a startup, often craves artisanal doughnuts and is obsessed with “Seinfeld”, boozy painting classes, and the city of Austin, Texas. A few other stereotypes noted of late ….
• ‘BLTS’ [Bros Loving Taylor Swift]: Haters gonna hate, but some men aren’t ashamed to admit they’re fans.
• ‘BOASTs’ [Bummed Out About Society’s Tweeting]: People who get depressed when they see everyone having fun on social media and feel left out.
• ‘CARRIEs’ [Can’t Afford Rent, Realizing Injustice Everywhere]: Naïve girls who come to the big city thinking it will be like “Sex & The City” only to have their dreams dashed by high rents and tiny apartments.
• ‘LUFTS’ [Leaving Us For The Suburbs]: This is what a ‘YUCCIE’ becomes when his or her trust fund runs out.
• ‘MASOCHISTs’ [Middle Aged Stressed Out Creatives Having Increasingly Shitty Time]: Think of the crankiest person in your office. He is especially bothered by all the new Millennials he now has to work with who get paid more than him to do a lesser-quality job.
• ‘MUBSOTs’ [Married Urbanites But Still on Tinder]: You know these people – they get married, but are still looking around for something better.
• ‘OWANTTOs’ [Overworked and Never Take Time Off]: You know you’re one of them if you end the year with more than 5 unused vacation days. Bonus points if you’re first into the office every day.
• ‘TIREDs’ [Too Inactive, Rarely Ever Dances]: Late-20s/early 30s crowd who once loved to go clubbing but now prefers a quiet night at home with red wine and Netflix.
• ‘VAINs’ [Vexed About Injustice to Nails]: Women who are outraged by news about how badly nail salon employees are treated, but don’t really want to give up their cheap mani-pedis.
– Condensed from “New York Daily News”

Unborn chicks can communicate to their siblings and their mom from inside their shells.
– Sourced from BuzzFeed.com


1970 [45] Phil ‘Lefty’ Mickelson, San Diego CA, pro golfer (42 PGA tour wins, 5 majors)

1972 [43] John Cho, Seoul, South Korea, movie actor (‘Sulu’ in “Star Trek” films, “Harold & Kumar” movies)

1973 [42] Eddie Cibrian, Burbank CA, TV actor (“LeAnn & Eddie” 2014, “CSI: Miami” 2009, “Third Watch” 1999-2005)/wed to singer-actress LeAnn Rimes since 2011

1980 [35] Sibel Kekilli, Heilbronn, Germany, TV actress (‘Shae’ on “Game of Thrones” since 2011)

1982 [33] Missy Peregrym, Montréal QC, TV actress (‘Andy McNally’ on “Rookie Blue” since 2010, “Heroes” 2007)

• “Fresh Veggies Day”, encouraging us to eat healthy by including fresh veggies with every meal and snack. Better still, be a vegetarian for a day. Your body will like it.

• “Fudge Day”, celebrating the ooey-gooey treat that can be inhaled warm or cold. Fudge is said to be a result of the late-night cravings of Vassar College girls in the early 20th century.

• “International Day Of the African Child”, initiated by the Organization of African Unity in 1991. It honors those who participated in the Soweto Uprising on this date in 1976. In South Africa, it’s celebrated as “Youth Day”.

• “Morticians Day”, saluting undertakers and all others who work in the funeral or cemetery biz. Don’t stiff out on saluting them … people are dying to throw them a party!

2005 [10] Movie star Tom Cruise (42) proposes to actress-girlfriend Katie Holmes (26) at the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France (their marriage lasts 2006-12)

1965 [50] Bob Dylan records “Like a Rolling Stone”, his magnum opus and arguably the greatest rock & roll record of all-time

2007 [08] 62-year-old classic rocker Rod Stewart and his 3rd wife, 36-year-old model Penny Lancaster, exchange wedding vows aboard a yacht in Portofino, Italy

2010 [05] Bhutan becomes the 1st country to institute a total ban on tobacco

2013 [02] Pope Francis blesses thousands of Harley-Davidson motorcycles in Vatican Square, their riders celebrating the company’s 110th anniversary with a parade

2002 [13] Elvis Presley reappears on the UK singles chart for the first time since 1977 with the remix of “A Little Less Conversation”, thereby breaking a 25-year stalemate with The Beatles for most chart-topping singles in British history

[Wed] Ramadan begins at sundown (Muslim)
[Wed] Eat Your Vegetables Day
[Wed] World Day to Combat Desertification & Drought
[Thurs] International Sushi Day
[Fri] Work@Home Fathers Day
[Fri] World Sauntering Day
This Week Is … Animal Rights Awareness Week
This Month Is … Gay & Lesbian Pride Month


✓ Kids are only allowed to play outside if they are wearing at least one white piece of clothing. If they are on a sports team, then everything they wear must be white.
✓ Kids do not play outside unless it’s been raining for a week and the field is more of a swamp than a field.
✓ If you like to wear light clothes, you’re required by law to eat only tomato sauce.
✓ If you have already spilled ketchup on your shirt, you should go ahead and rub some mustard on it too, so the laundering doesn’t go to waste.
✓ Men are apparently allergic to doing the laundry.
✓ If you complain to your girlfriend/mother/female neighbor about being defeated by stains, no matter where the conversation is taking place, her detergent will always be within arm’s reach.
✓ After doing the laundry, it is customary to place stacks of freakishly neatly-folded clothes around the house and beam at them for long stretches of time.
✓ If there is a clothesline in someone’s yard, a minimum of 8 white sheets, all of them the same size, are hanging on it at any given time.
✓ Smelling your freshly laundered clothes causes blue flowers to blossom around your head.
– Adapted from McSweeneys.net

Beer … it’s not just for breakfast anymore!

☎ What’s the worst invention currently on-the-market? (We say it’s a tie: Gas-powered grass trimmers and power leaf blowers, both guaranteed to set your teeth on edge on an otherwise tranquil Saturday morning.)

Question: More than half of married women do not trust their husbands to do THIS.
Answer: Work on their vehicles.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you’ll have to catch up.

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