Wednesday, June 22, 2016 – Edition: #5758

Your Daily Bovine Colonic!

★ Filmmaker JJ Abrams (“Star Wars: The Force Awakens”) is set to co-produce an upcoming Michael Jackson TV mini-series. He’ll be working alongside TV personality-author Tavis Smiley. The production follows the last few months of the King of Pop’s life and is based on Smiley’s new ‘novelistic rendering’ entitled “Before You Judge Me: The Triumph & Tragedy of Michael Jackson’s Last Days”. No network has been attached to the project as yet, but Warner Bros Television is thought to be producing it.
– “USA Today”
★ Movie star Leonardo DiCaprio is producing a seafaring action thriller titled “The Outlaw Ocean” for streaming service Netflix. Based on a series of articles in “New York Times Magazine”, the film tells the story of how a vigilante crew stalked a notorious fish poaching ship across 10,000 miles and 3 oceans. It’s part of DiCaprio’s deal with Netflix to produce non-fiction based films and documentaries about controversial environmental themes. It’s as-yet-unknown if the actor will star in as well as produce the film.
★ Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Lopez, designer Vera Wang, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Matthew Broderick are among those who’ve attended an intimate fundraiser for Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton at the NYC home of movie mogul Harvey Weinstein. Both Clinton and her ex-prez husband Bill attended the SRO 2-hour event for 50 guests from the entertainment world. Each reportedly ponied up $33,000 for the privilege of dining with the candidate. A strict ‘no social media’ policy was enforced. The Federal Election Commission has revealed Clinton has $42.5 million in her war chest, while Donald Trump has only raised $1.3 million.
★ And “Maxim” magazine’s India edition is being criticized for airbrushing the June/July edition’s cover shot of 33-year-old model/actress Priyanka Chopra (ABC-TV’s “Quantico”). Social media is up in arms because the photo depicts Chopra with … suspiciously smooth-looking armpits. “Barbie dolls armpits” one online poster calls them. What’s being dubbed ‘Armpit Gate’ is a long way from the usual concerns of digital image manipulation. “Maxim”, which recently declared Chopra ‘Hottest Woman in the World’, hasn’t yet commented on reaction to the cover.
NET: (nary a hair … or even a crease!)

• “American Gothic” (CBS/Global) – Debut of a new series about a prominent Boston family that discovers someone in their midst is linked to an infamous string of murders by the so-called ‘Silver Bells Killer’. Stars Juliet Rylance, Antony Starr, Virginia Madsen, Justin Chatwin.
• “Big Brother” (CBS) – 2-hour Season 18 debut.
• Glastonbury Festival (Pilton UK) – The massive annual 5-day gathering in Somerset, England is headlined by Muse (Friday), Adele (Saturday), and Coldplay (Sunday). Also in the lineup: Beck, Chvrches, Disclosure, Ellie Goulding, Grimes, LCD Soundsystem, and scores more. A tribute to David Bowie includes a screening of his entire performance from the 2000 festival.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – DNCE (“Swaay”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – A$AP Ferg (“Always Strive and Prosper”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – The Claypool Lennon Delirium (a collaboration between Les Claypool of Primus and Sean Lennon).
• “The Nightly Show” (Comedy Central) – M1 (“Between Me & The World”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (“This Unruly Mess I’ve Made”).

• CS&N – Veteran rocker David Crosby has agreed to hand over $3 million to the jogger he accidentally hit in a car accident last year. The 74-year-old was driving his Tesla along a California highway when he ran into a 46-year-old runner who subsequently had to be airlifted to hospital to treat multiple fractures and a damaged kidney.
• David Bowie – A lock of his hair is being sold off by Heritage Auctions. The hair, lopped off in 1983 by a wig-maker at Madame Tussauds wax museum in London, is expected to fetch thousands. Bids on the hair hank are now open, ahead of the final sale on Saturday.
• Don McLean – The “American Pie” singer-songwriter and his wife Patrisha have finalized their divorce. The couple hit headlines in January when police were called to their Camden, Maine home. 70-year-old McLean was charged with misdemeanor domestic violence and his spouse was granted a restraining order. McLean has chosen to ignore a prenuptial agreement and paid out a $10-million settlement, according to his spokesperson.
• Imagine Dragons – Tonight the “Radioactive” band and fun. frontman Nate Ruess top the bill of the “All is One Orlando Unity Concert” at Hard Rock Live in Orlando FL. The charity event is to benefit those affected by the June 12th massacre at Pulse nightclub in the city.
• Lady Antebellum – Hillary Scott has revealed on “Good Morning America” that some songs on her new album “Love Remains” (recorded with family) were inspired by a miscarriage she suffered last Autumn. She penned the first release, “Thy Will”, while in the middle of the ordeal.
• Rihanna – She and Coldplay have been announced as headliners for the “Made In America Festival” which returns to Philadelphia PA’s Benjamin Franklin Parkway September 3rd-4th. Lil Wayne, 2 Chainz, Chance The Rapper, Grimes, DJ Khaled, Gary Clark Jr, and A$AP Ferg are also performing.
• Spice Girls – Simon Cowell wants to take charge of their rumored 20th anniversary reunion album. He’s admitted that not signing the group originally was the “biggest mistake” of his career. “The Sun” claims he’s made a formal offer to Mel B, encouraging the girls to talk to him first before meeting with other record labels. But Mel is reportedly keeping the options open.

Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Benching’ – Maintaining occasional contact with someone while you decide whether you want a serious relationship with that person.
• ‘Dark Social’ – Apps that provide ways to talk to someone or a group on digital media without leaving an easily traceable footprint.
• ‘FOBED’ [Fear of Being Eviscerated Digitally] – Reluctance to post something controversial online for fear of being attacked by those who disagree.

According to Jonathan Balcombe’s new book “What a Fish Knows” …
✓ They have personalities. Some are aggressive, others sneaky; some are shy, others curious.
✓ They have complex social lives. For instance, little ‘cleaner fish’ set up car-wash-type stations and advertise their services to bigger fish by flashing brightly colored scales.
✓ They go to great lengths to care for their young. Fish parents can be as dedicated as any lion, chimpanzee, or human.
✓ They join forces. Like ‘the Avengers’, fish of different species team up to combine their powers. For example: Coral groupers will invite moray eels to join them on a hunt for food.
✓ They make noises. Fish can growl, bark, click, hum, whistle, and croak. And some species can hear even better than we can.
✓ They have great memories. Studies have shown that individual fish can remember events, tasks, tests, and other fish for months … even years.
✓ They can feel pleasure and pain. Far from being the mindless, scaly robots we imagine them to be, fish can feel pain as acutely as other animals.
(Screw the book, we learned all this watching “Finding Dory”.)

A private members-only club called ‘Club 33′ exists at the Disneyland parks in Anaheim and Tokyo, and has now been discovered at the new Disney park in Shanghai, China. An Instagram post from a senior Disney exec shows a menu cover with a ’33’ logo, tagged with the location “Club 33 Shanghai Disneyland”. An arched doorway with a ’33’ on it has also been spotted near the Enchanted Storybook Castle in the Shanghai Disney resort. It’s not clear how many members the Shanghai club has, though membership is said to be limited to just 500 at the Anaheim park where the original club opened in 1967. Disney reps aren’t keen to discuss the existence of the exclusive club whose membership fees are believed to be in the neighborhood of $12,000 a year … after a $25,000 initiation fee. (What a Mickey Mouse club this is.)
– “Los Angeles Times”

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 86% of married people wish their spouses would lose weight.
• 80% of teenagers admit to having a curfew.
• 50% of parents admit they spy on their kids’ Facebook pages without them knowing.
• 40% of us refuse to share a dessert with our partners.
• 6% of professional clowns get seriously injured each year.
• 3% of us have never eaten Jell-O.

More than 65 million people worldwide were forcibly displaced last year, according to a new UN Refugee Agency report. That’s more people than were forced from their homes in WW2, and enough to comprise the 21st-largest nation in the world. A few other facts …
• 1-out-of-every 113 people worldwide is displaced.
• 2 people are displaced in the time it takes to inhale and exhale.
• Of the 65 million+ displaced, close to 41 million are still in their countries of origin.
• Over 98,000 unaccompanied or separated minors sought asylum in 78 countries in 2015, the highest number on record.

You can flip the metal square on your stapler around so that the staples attach outwards instead of inwards. This can be useful if you know you’ll want to remove them in the future.


1949 [67] Meryl (Mary Louise) Streep, Summit NJ, movie actress with 19 Academy Award nominations & 3 Oscars (“The Iron Lady”, “Sophie’s Choice”, “Kramer vs Kramer”)

1953 [63] Cyndi Lauper, Ozone Park NY, Broadway composer (“Kinky Boots”)/oldies singer (“Time After Time”, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”)/human rights advocate (“True Colors Tour”)

1964 [52] Dan Brown, Exeter NH, really rich author (“Angels & Demons”, “The Da Vinci Code”, which sold over 60 million copies worldwide)

1964 [52] Amy Brenneman, New London CT, TV actress (“The Leftovers” since 2014, “Private Practice” 2007-13, “Judging Amy” 1999-2005)

1973 [43] Carson Daly, Santa Monica CA, TV host (“The Voice” since 2011, “Last Call With Carson Daly” since 2002)

1997 [19] Dinah Jane Hansen, Santa Ana CA, pop singer (Fifth Harmony-“Work From Home”, “Worth It”)

• “Chocolate Eclair Day”, saluting the light, crisp pastry that’s filled with a chocolate-y cream.

• “Onion Rings Day”, for those of you who like your holidays deep-fried.

• “Stupid Guy Thing Day”. Women are always talking about it (“Oh that’s just another stupid guy thing …”), so here’s the day to commemorate it! Women everywhere are encouraged to make a list of ‘Stupid Guy Things’ and pass it on. To get you started …
– Pounding things.
– Squirting things.
– Watching TV sports.
– Using power tools.
– Driving giant pickup trucks.
– Wearing ball caps … backwards.
– Burning and/or exploding things.
– Eating anything and everything.

2001 [15] Street-racing movie “The Fast & The Furious” opens (leads to 7 sequels)

2008 [08] Comedian George Carlin dies of heart failure in Santa Monica, California at age 71

2002 [14] U2 guitarist The Edge weds his girlfriend of 10 years Morleigh Steinberg in Eze, France (they first met when she was a belly dancer on the band’s “Zoo TV” tour)

2013 [03] “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke begins a 13-week run at #1 on the singles chart

2002 [14] Spaniard Alvaro de Marichalar becomes 1st to cross the Atlantic Ocean by jet ski (12 hours per day on water, sleeping on a support boat), landing at Miami Beach, Florida 4 months after setting off from Rome, Italy

[Thurs] Let It Go Day
[Thurs] Runners Selfie Day
[Fri] “CMT Crossroads: Nick Jonas & Thomas Rhett” (CMT)
[Fri] Drive Your Corvette to Work Day
[Sat] Backyard Campout Night
This Week Is … Carpenter Ant Awareness Week
This Month Is … Steakhouse Month


Mansfield Park
Manchester United
– Thanks to Sam Pasternack

☎ Do you read reviews about a movie before deciding whether to see it or not?

• On which article of clothing would you find something called a ‘keeper’?
a. Boxers
b. Bra
c. Belt [CORRECT. It’s the little leather loop that keeps the end of your belt in place.]

• 1 year ago today artist Donald Featherstone died at age 79. What was his most famous creation?
a. The lava lamp.
b. The Pet Rock.
c. The plastic pink flamingo. (He invented the infamous lawn ornament in 1957. He displayed 57 of them in his own front yard ever after.)

Be kind to animals. Kiss a shark.

Question: THIS happens to the average woman about 6 times a month.
Answer: Bad hair day.

Never put off to tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

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