Friday, June 28, 2013        Edition: #5017

Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

✳ 23-year-old actress Emma Watson (“The Bling Ring”) covers the latest issue of “Teen Vogue” and proves she can even make a mullet look good. In the interview, she talks about distancing herself from fashion because she didn’t want people to think that was her ‘main thing’. She also claims she only has 8 pairs of shoes … in total. (OMG, someone start a collection for the poor thing!)
– “Scandal Sheet”
✳ Producers of “Star Wars Episode VII” want Mark Hamill (61) and Carrie Fisher (56), who first played ‘Luke Skywalker’ and ‘Princess Leia’ 36 years ago, to slim down so they are able to resemble their original characters when making cameos in the new film. Word has it the budget is huge so there will be no expense spared; the actors will be supplied with nutritionists and fitness trainers to ensure they are in good shape before filming starts. (Will Fisher bring back the cinnamon bun hairdo?)
✳ Former boxing champ-turned-actor Mike Tyson’s one-man stage show has landed him his first TV special. His “Undisputed Truth” show is being shot by HBO Films for broadcast later this year. The project will be directed by Spike Lee, who championed and mentored Tyson throughout his theatrical run. “Undisputed Truth” debuted in Las Vegas in 2012 and has since enjoyed success on Broadway and on tour across the US. (16 years ago today [1997], Tyson infamously bit off a piece of Evander Holyfield’s ear during their heavyweight title rematch.)
– QMI Agency
✳ Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs made a “Downton Abbey” spoof video for a comedy website entitled “Downton Diddy” and now he may get a chance to appear in the real deal. Julian Fellowes, the creator of the ITV costume drama, says in a new magazine interview that he is considering giving Diddy a cameo role in a future episode. Quote: “I imagine he’d steal the scene, even if it was a small part.” (Should a show of this quality resort to stunt-casting?)

• “BET Awards” (BET) – Sunday Chris Tucker hosts the 13th annual entertainment honors from LA’s Staples Center. Drake leads all nominees with 12. The adjacent 3-day BET Experience festival is headlined by Beyoncé tonight, Snoop Lion on Saturday, and New Edition on Sunday.
• “Dexter” (Showtime/TMN) – Sunday Michael C Hall returns as everyone’s favorite forensics expert/serial killer in the 8th (and final) season debut, an episode called “A Beautiful Day”.
• Glastonbury Festival (Pilton UK) – The massive annual 3-day Brit Summer festival gets underway today. On the weekend bill: Rolling Stones, Mumford & Sons, Vampire Weekend, Phoenix, Smashing Pumpkins, and many more. 175,000 fans are expected. The BBC has reached an agreement to air about 1 hour of the Stones’ set amongst its extensive coverage.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Demi Lovato (“Demi”).
• Hard Rock Calling (London UK) – Saturday-Sunday the 2013 version of this 4-stage event moves from Hyde Park to Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park. Performers include Alabama Shakes, Black Crowes, Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band, Kasabian, Zac Brown Band.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Muse (“The 2nd Law”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Metric (“Synthetica”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight Tenacious D (“Rize Of the Fenix”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight They Might Be Giants (“Nanobots”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Snoop Lion (“Reincarnated”).
• “Michael Jackson: ONE” – Saturday is the official premiere of Cirque du Soleil’s new MJ-themed show, although it’s been running in previews since May 23rd at Las Vegas’ Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino. The new 90-minute ‘immersive musical experience’ features more than 60 dancers, aerialists, and other performers.
• “Ray Donovan” (Showtime/TMN) – Sunday the series debut of a drama starring Liev Schreiber as a professional ‘fixer’ for LA’s rich & famous, who can make anyone’s problems disappear except … those created by his own family.
• Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival – Saturday the annual traveling metal-fest kicks off in San Bernadino CA, with dates slotted through August 4th in Dallas TX. The main stage will host Rob Zombie, Five Finger Death Punch, Mastodon, and Amon Amarth.
• Roskilde Festival begins (Roskilde, Denmark) – Saturday Denmark’s gargantuan annual rock festival begins, promising nearly 200 acts over 9 days. Among them: Kraftwerk, The Lumineers, Metallica, Miguel, The National, Of Monsters & Men, Queens Of the Stone Age, and Rihanna.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Today Phillip Phillips (“The World From the Side Of the Moon”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight India.Arie (“Songversation”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Mariah Carey (“The Art Of Letting Go”, out whenever it’s ready).

• Adele – She’s become the only British female artist to ever earn a Diamond Award from the RIAA, certifying sales over 10 million copies of her album “21”. To date, it has sold in excess of 25 million copies around-the-world.
• Hunter Hayes – He tops the new “Billboard” magazine ‘Country Albums’ chart with his new release “Hunter Hayes: Encore”, a compilation of his 1st album along with some re-mixes and new material.
• Jimmy Eat World – Sunday in Pittsburgh PA they embark on a North American tour in support of their latest album “Damage”.
• Justin Bieber – It’s been confirmed that his former pet capuchin monkey, ‘Mally’, is safely out of quarantine and has been re-homed at Serengeti Park in Hodenhagen, Germany.
• Kanye West – “Yeezus” is atop the new album sales chart, according to Nielsen SoundScan, thanks to the 3rd-largest sales week of the year. (After Justin Timberlake and Daft Punk.)
• Kid Rock – Tonight in Bristow VA he begins a tour in support of his “Rebel Soul” album. “The $20 Best Night Ever Tour” offers tickets in all sections (reserved seats & lawn) for just $20.
• Luke Bryan – “Crash My Party” is not only the name of his latest country hit, but will also be the name of his next album when it drops August 13th.
• Michael Bublé – Tonight he’s opening the doors to his final “To Be Loved Tour” rehearsal in Sheffield, England before he hits the road for a sold-out trek. Proceeds from the warm-up gig go to charity. The tour officially launches Sunday at London’s O2 Arena.
• – He’s taking legal action against Pharrell Williams over the brand-name ‘I am OTHER’ on clothing and other items, which the Peas frontman claims is too similar to his own ‘I AM’ logo and is likely to dilute both it and the trademark.

• “The Heat” ( R-Rated Action Comedy ): Sandra Bullock & Melissa McCarthy star as an uptight FBI agent & a testy Boston cop who partner up to take down a drug lord. The twist: Neither has ever had a partner before … or a friend for that matter. Directed by Paul Feig (“Bridesmaids”); written by Kate Dippold (“Parks & Recreation”). A sequel is already planned.
• “White House Down” ( PG-13 Action Thriller ): Channing Tatum plays a DC cop who, while on a White House tour, has to spring into action to save his daughter and protect the US president (Jamie Foxx) from heavily armed paramilitary invaders. Co-stars Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jason Clarke. Similar plot to the Gerard Butler film “Olympus Has Fallen”, released in March.
• Opening in limited release: “A Band Called Death” (Documentary); “Byzantium” (Fantasy Thriller); “How to Make Money Selling Drugs (Documentary); “I’m So Excited” (Comedy);
“Laurence Anyways” (Romantic Drama); “Redemption” (Action Thriller); and “Some Girl(s)” (Dramedy).

More than 43 million people live as refugees globally and as of today, the best shelter we can usually offer them is a tent. So the folks who make your bookcase (and bed, and table) have designed a cheap, solar-powered hut. In July, IKEA Foundation and the UN High Commissioner for Refugees will roll out the new cheap, flat-packed, build-it-yourself homes with electricity-generating roofs. They’re touted as only taking 4 hours to assemble. (Right, we’ve heard that line before. Our coffee table: 6 days … with 11 screws left over.)

The ‘Accessibility’ section of Apple’s new iOS 7 includes a feature that allows you to control your iPhone or iPad with … left or right head movements. It can be quite tedious to control your device this way since it cycles through all the options on the screen and you move your head when it comes to the one you want. But you can also set up the left or right head movement to act as a home button, to start Siri, or increase & decrease volume. (Now, as well as arthritic thumbs, Apple users can also look forward to a permanent neck kink in the future.)

15 years after setting the goal of building a 235 mpg car, Volkswagen has exceeded itself. The new ‘VW XL1’ is built like a supercar, looks like a spacepod, feels like a production model, and zooms across the Autobahn while using barely 0.004 gallons of fuel per mile. That’s a stingy 261 mpg … in ideal conditions. This diesel-electric hybrid seats 2, has enough cargo space for a short trip (4.2 cubic feet) and a range of 310 miles if you fill the tiny 2.6 gallon fuel tank to the brim. The XL1 is now entering limited production. (That leads us to today’s new word, ‘hypercar’, a vehicle that gets outstanding mileage.)

Chickens can be diagnosed with depression. (Aw, has Clucky got the collywoggles?)


1948 [65] Kathy Bates, Memphis TN, movie actress (“Midnight in Paris”, “Misery”)/TV actress (“Harry’s Law” 2011-12, “The Office” 2010-11)

1966 [47] John Cusack, Evanston IL, movie actor (“2012”, “Runaway Jury”)

1976 [37] Tim Nordwind, Kalamazoo MI, alt-rock bassist-singer (OK Go-“White Knuckles”, “Here It Goes Again”)

1977 [36] Mark Stoermer, Houston TX, pop-rock bassist (The Killers-“Human”, “When You Were Young”)

1986 [27] Kellie Pickler, Albemarle NC, TV personality (2013 “Dancing With the Stars” winner/country singer (“Red High Hells”)/former “American Idol” finalist (2006)

TV personality Gary Busey (“Celebrity Apprentice”) is 69; Football analyst Dan Dierdorf (“The NFL on CBS”) is 64; Pop singer/TV personality Nicole Scherzinger (ex-Pussycat Dolls) is 35.

Former heavyweight boxing champ Mike Tyson is 47; Country singer Lee Brice (“A Woman Like You”) is 33; Pop singer Fantasia Barrino (“When I See U”) is 29; US Olympic swimming champ Michael Phelps (record 22 medals) is 28.

• “Insurance Awareness Day”. Hmm, now who do you think came up with this one?
• “Long Letter Day”, time to stop whatever you’re doing and write a long letter to an old friend. After all, when’s the last time you actually put pen to paper and sent something snail-mail?
• “Tapioca Day”, honoring that stuff you put in pudding that looks like fish eyes.

• “International Camera Day”, a celebration of the tradition of recording the moments of your life. These days that’s most often done on your smartphone.
• “Remote Control Day”, a favorite celebration of couch potatoes everywhere. The first remote was sold with a TV on this date in 1964. Zenith Radio Corporation’s ‘Lazy Bones’ used a wire cable that ran from the TV set to the viewer.
• “Tour de France”, the 100th edition of the world’s premiere cycle race gets underway in Corsica and runs through July 21st, in 21 stages covering a total distance over 3,404 km or 2,115 miles. (Does the winner have to do a victory lap?)

• “Meteor Day”, an annual observance encouraging us to look to the skies for a stunning meteor show. With a little luck and clear skies, you can see a meteor just about any night of the year.
• “NOW Day”, marking the founding of the National Organization for Women in 1966.

1998 [15] 1st TV ratings week in which more viewers watch cable/satellite channels than broadcast channels (that Home & Garden channel is rivetting, isn’t it?)

1988 [25] Berry Gordy Jr sells Motown Records to MCA for $61 million, effectively ending the golden era of independent record label ownership

1953 [60] GM workers assemble the 1st ‘Corvette’ sports car in Flint, Michigan (the average Corvette driver now … 60-plus, balding male in post mid-life crisis)

1988 [25] An ostrich at the Israeli Kibbutz Ha’on lays the ‘Heaviest Bird Egg Ever Recorded’ … 5.1 lbs (2.3 kg)

[Jul 1] Canada Day / “American Ninja Warrior” debuts (NBC) / “Raising Whitley” debuts (OWN) / Second Half Of the Year Day
[Jul 2] World UFO Day
[Jul 3] “Despicable Me 2”; “The Lone Ranger” open in movie theaters / Compliment Your Mirror Day / Stay Out Of the Sun Day
[Jul 4] Independence Day (USA) / Ottawa Bluesfest begins / 2013 Montreux Jazz Festival begins / “Music Independence Day” (MTV/CMT/VH1) / Independence From Meat Day
[Jul 5] Calgary Stampede begins / Bikini Day / International Chicken Wing Day
[Jul 6] Oklahoma Twister Relief Concert (Norman OK) / Rolling Stones play Hyde Park (London) / International Cherry Pit Spitting Day / International Kissing Day / International Day of Cooperatives / Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day
[Jul 7] Chocolate Day / Father-Daughter Take A Walk Together Day / Global Forgiveness Day / Tell the Truth Day
[Jul 8] “Get Me Out Alive with Bear Grylls” debts (NBC) / International Town Criers Day
[Jul 9] Ramadan begins (Muslim)
[Jul 10] “Camp” debuts (NBC) / Don’t Step On a Bee Day / Hot Dog Night / Piña Colada Day
[Jul 11] Craven Country Jamboree begins (Saskatchewan) / Cheer Up the Lonely Day / Slurpee Day / World Population Day
[Jul 12] “Grown Ups 2”; “Pacific Rim”; open in movie theaters /  Wireless Festival begins (London) / Collector Car Appreciation Day / Simplicity Day
[Jul 13] Embrace Your Geekness Day / Gruntled Workers Day / French Fries Day
[Jul 14] Barn Day / “The Newsroom” season debut (HBO) / International Nude Day
[Jul 15] “The Amazing Race Canada” debuts (CTV) / Be a Dork Day / Global Hug Your Kid Day / Gummi Worm Day / Get Out Of the Doghouse Day
[Jul 16] “Whose Line Is it Anyway?” debuts (CW) / “Perfect Score” debuts (CW)
[Jul 17] “Turbo” opens in movie theaters / “Legends Of the Summer” tour begins (Toronto)
[Jul 18] “Country Thunder” begins (Twin Lakes WI) / International Mandela Day / Caviar Day
[Jul 19 “The Conjuring”; “RIPD”; “RED 2” open in movie theaters
[Jul 20] Celebration Of the Horse Day / Moon Day / Lollipop Day / Woodie Wagon Day
[Jul 21] Ice Cream Sunday
[Jul 22] Full ‘Buck’ Moon / “Springsteen & I” screens in movie theaters / Spoonerism Day
[Jul 23] “Who Do You Think You Are?” debuts (TLC) / “Rock For Oklahoma” benefit concert (Oklahoma City) / Gorgeous Grandma Day / Hot Enough For Ya Day
[Jul 24] “Let It Be” opens on Broadway (NYC) / Cousins Day / Drive-Thru Day / Tequila Day / Tell an Old Joke Day
[Jul 25] Carousel Day / Chili Dog Day
[Jul 26] “The To Do List”; “The Wolverine” open in movie theaters / “Splendour in the Grass” festival begins (Byron Bay, Australia) / “Newport Folk Festival” begins (Rhode Island) / Lumberjack Day / Talk In an Elevator Day / System Administrator Appreciation Day
[Jul 27] Dance Day / Day Of the Cowboy / Korean War Veterans Armistice Day / Milk Chocolate Day / Take Your Houseplant For a Walk Day / Walk on Stilts Day
[Jul 28] “Unforgettable” debuts (CBS) / World Hepatitis Day / Aunties Day
[Jul 29] “Breaking Pointe” debuts (CW) / Helpmann Theatre Awards (Sydney, Australia) / Lasagna Day
[Jul 30] Cheesecake Day / Father-In-Law Day / Support Public Education Day / Paperback Book Day
[Jul 31] “The Smurfs 2” opens in movie theaters / “The Hunt” debuts (CW) / Uncommon Instruments Awareness Day


• Switch from SPF 30 to Turtle Wax.
• Fill every container you own with gasoline, before the price goes through the roof.
• Stock up for your big fireworks display, including ‘nostril flares’ for the kids and – for your grand finalé – a can of pork & beans and a Bic lighter.
• Prepare yourself for camping out by envisioning a night in the rain, shivering in the fetal position, while watching vulture-sized mosquitoes carry off your Shih Tzu.
• On second thought, hide all your camping gear … before the kids find it.
– Adapted from

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

☎ Are you more apt to forgive mangled and misspelled emails if they’re tagged ‘Sent From My iPhone’ / ‘Sent From My Blackberry’?

Question: We are most likely to do THIS on Sundays between 7pm and 10pm.
Answer: Cheat on our diet.

In any given set of circumstances, the correct course of action is dictated by subsequent events.

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