Wednesday, June 6, 2012        Edition: #4759

Sheet For Brains!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
This week filming is underway on “Iron Man 3”, with Robert Downey Jr and castmates (unfortunately including Gwyneth Paltrow) on location in Wilmington, North Carolina (projected release date: May 2013) . . . The Olsen twins, Mary-Kate & Ashley, have been named Womenswear Designers Of the Year at the Council of Fashion Designers of America Awards in NYC (they certainly never won any awards as actors) . . . 46-year-old Danish actor Mads Mikkelson will play the lead in NBC-TV’s upcoming “Hannibal”, playing the “Silence Of the Lambs” cannibal in a midseason series that’s expected to begin shooting next month (Anthony Hopkins won an Oscar playing the role – can anyone else fill his shoes?) . . . Eva Longoria tells “Glamour” magazine she’s devastated her TV series “Desperate Housewives” has ended and admits to ‘bawling her eyes out’ when the final episode wrapped (because now she’ll be stuck making more movies like “Over Her Dead Body”) . . . 76-year-old director Woody Allen has announced that the cast of his yet-to-be-titled next film will include Oscar-winner Cate Blanchett, comedian Louis CK, and actor Alec Baldwin; and it will be shot this Summer in NYC and San Francisco (a bit of a homecoming as his last 3 movies were shot in London, Paris, and Rome) . . . “Gossip Girl” star Leighton Meester says she’s planning to focus on music as soon as her CW series comes to an end as she wants to release her debut album by the end of the year (word has it she’s as good a singer as she is an actress) . . . 26-year-old “Gossip Girl” actor Chace Crawford is whining that being famous makes it hard to find a girlfriend (for more than a night) . . . And yet another TV singing competition is coming, this one called “The Next: Fame Is At Your Doorstep” with a mentoring panel made up of teen idol Joe Jonas, Latin singer Gloria Estefan, rapper Nelly, and country singer John Rich (it should be titled ‘Flogging a Dead Horse’).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “CMT Awards” (CMT/CMT.com) – The 11th annual fan-voted country music awards air live from Nashville. Carrie Underwood leads nominations with 5; followed by Miranda Lambert with 4; and Blake Shelton, Taylor Swift, The Civil Wars, and Lady Antebellum with 3 apiece.
NET: http://www.cmt.com/cmt-music-awards
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – JD McPherson (“Signs and Signifiers”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – K’Naan (“Country, God, or The Soul”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Dr Dog (“Be the Void”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Jazz/blues artist Leon Redbone.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Jimmy Cliff (“Sacred Fire”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – The Beach Boys (“That’s Why God Made the Radio”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Elton John – He says he doesn’t want his son Zachary to be a sole son because it’s particularly difficult to be an only child of someone famous. Elton himself was an only child, who spent a lot of time alone in his room listening to music. Quote: “I want him to have a sibling so he has someone to be with.”
• Janet Jackson – She hopes to help raise awareness of the issues facing the transgender community in a new documentary film called “Truth”. She’s signed on as executive producer and will also help conduct on-camera interviews with participants.
• Kenny Chesney – He’s just re-signed with Sony Music Nashville. It’s been a winning partnership; during his tenure with the label he’s sold more than 30 million albums and scored 23 #1 country hits. His next album, “Welcome To the Fishbowl”, is out June 19th.
• Lady Gaga – She and “Vampire Diaries” actor Taylor Kinney are apparently on-again as a couple, he joining she during her tour in Thailand and then continuing on to Singapore with her last week.
• The Killers – They’ve sampled the famous bass line from Lou Reed’s classic 1972 hit “Walk On the Wild Side” for a track on their upcoming album, “Battle Born”, to be released late this year.
• Sting – His actress-daughter Mickey Sumner has landed the coveted role of punk icon Patti Smith in the star-studded new movie “CBGB”. She’s been added to the cast alongside Foo Fighters rocker Taylor Hawkins, who will make his acting debut as Iggy Pop in the film about late NYC club boss Hilly Kristal, to be portrayed by actor Alan Rickman.
• Taylor Swift – Today at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville the new exhibit “Taylor Swift: Speak Now: Treasures From the World Tour” opens. It includes dozens of costumes, instruments, set pieces, and props from her 2011-12 trek through 19 countries on 4 continents.
• U2 – Today the trial of bassist Adam Clayton’s former personal assistant is tentatively scheduled to get underway in Dublin, Ireland. 47-year-old Carol Hawkins is accused of stealing $2.56 million of his money. She’s charged with 184 counts of theft.
• Whitney Houston – Her mother, Cissy Houston, has just signed a deal with publishing house HarperCollins to release a memoir which she claims will tell her late daughter’s ‘true story’. (Is there anyone in the family NOT making money off her tragic death?)

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:

• After being repeatedly badgered and coerced, an upstate New York man finally relented to his friend’s demand to shoot him in the leg with a .22-calibre rifle … just so he could find out what it felt like. The 24-year-old who was shot is expected to make a full recovery; his 25-year-old friend has been charged with reckless endangerment. (Gee, think booze was involved?)
– AP
• A 21-year-old New Jersey body piercer has implanted 4 small titanium studs into his left wrist so that he can … magnetically attach his iPod. The studs match up with 4 magnets attached to the back of the iPod Nano. He says he always wanted a strapless watch, and the iPod has a clock interface. (His next project … sunglasses without arms.)
– “Daily Telegraph”
• A Chinese cable car at a mountain attraction in Henan province has become the scene of a local craze for … mid-air sex romps. Authorities have stepped in and put an end to the popular pastime. But bizarrely, a sign announcing the ban only specifies that it applies to those born in the 1990s. (Because nothing’s hotter than a couple of 80-year-olds getting it on in a gondola.)
– Orange.co.uk

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 70% of North American women don’t know their correct bra size.
• 66% of women feel their appearance is more important than having a high IQ.
• 47% of guys claim they’d give up sex for 6 months in return for a 50-inch plasma TV.
• 42% of people work while on vacation.
• 30% of women believe a former flame was ‘the one who got away’.
• 20% of us now have a vegetable garden.

THE PERILS OF SMART METERS:

Burglars may no longer need to lurk outside a home to know when to break-in as they can now track owners’ movements by spying on electricity and gas usage through so-called ‘smart meters’. Detailed info about residents’ lifestyles collected by energy smart meters is vulnerable to being hacked and exploited, a new report warns. Hackers could intercept the data during transmission from the home to the energy company, then criminals could use it to time a burglary. (Ever peruse the mug shots on SmokingGun.com? Do these look like people with the smarts to crack a smart meter?)
– “Times of London”

BS CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:

New terms leaking into our lingo …
✓ ‘Break the Ton’ – When a vehicle’s speedometer exceeds 100.
✓ ‘Punkerschnapps – German slang for an alcoholic beverage that’s so strong or tastes so bad that only punks will drink it.
✓ ‘Unsourcing’ – When companies set up online communities to enable peer-to-peer support among users. Instead of speaking with a faceless person thousands of miles away, customer support is provided by individuals who have bought and used the same products.

DOLPHIN DISH:

‘Flipper’ for dinner? It’s more common than you might think. Though eating sea mammals is frowned upon in much of the world, the consumption of cetaceans – marine mammals such as whales, dolphins, and manatees – is on the rise in poor nations. Declines in fish catches have led people to look for other sources of meat. Smaller cetaceans are already making their way to dinner plates as other protein sources are dwindling in coastal areas of West Africa, Peru, Brazil, Colombia, Trinidad & Tobago, India, and the Philippines. Studies show that at least 92 species of cetaceans either have been or are currently being eaten by humans. (Mmm, pass the porpoise!)
– NewScientist.com

MORE BS SPORTS CLICHÉS WE HATE:

✗ ‘It’s gut-check time’ … In a lot of sports a ‘cup check’ would be more advisable.
✗ ‘Now he’s got to step up’ … Yeah, it’s called being a ‘professional’.
✗ ‘At the end of the day’ … They’re playing until midnight?
✗ ‘It’s a mental game’ … Not really, otherwise we’d see more Ivy-Leaguers in pro sports.
✗ ‘Tremendous piece of hitting’ … An ugly home run is still a home run.
✗ ‘He’s got a great work ethic’ … He gets paid several-mill, he better.
✗ ‘We’re taking it one game at a time’ … No wonder the baseball season seems so long.
✗ ‘They need to generate some offense’ … Thanks, Einstein. We kinda figured that from the 28-0 score.
– BleacherReport.com

WHISKY IN ORBIT:

Scottish booze-maker Ardbeg has been producing whisky for more than 300 years and has now taken to space in a bid to discover the taste of the future. Experiments using malt from its distillery on the island of Islay are being carried out on the International Space Station to see how it matures without gravity. Compounds of unmatured malt were sent to the station in an unmanned cargo spacecraft in October last year, along with particles of charred oak. Scientists want to understand how they interact at close to zero gravity. Dr Bill Lumsden, head of distilling and whisky creation at Ardbeg, says the company is tremendously excited by this experiment – who knows where it will lead? (Toward higher-priced whisky, we’re guessing.)
– BBC News

FOR THE RECORD:

A German ‘free diver’ has set a new Guinness World Record by holding his breath underwater for more than 20 minutes. 35-year-old Tom Sietas competed with former record holder, Brazilian Ricardo Bahia, to set the new record by not inhaling for 22:22 minutes. The extraordinary feat was reportedly accomplished in China in a pair of tanks next to one another. Bahia’s previous record was 20:21 minutes.
– DailyMail.co.uk

BS AMAZING FACT:

The average person receives 9,672 minor injuries in a lifetime.
– “The Atlantic”

BS CHRONOMETER 06.06.12


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1952 [60] Harvey Fierstein, Brooklyn NY, Broadway actor (Tony Award-“Hairspray”)/playwright (“Torch Song Trilogy”)/movie actor (“Mrs Doubtfire”)

1967 [45] Paul Giamatti, New Haven CT, movie actor (“Cinderella Man”, “Sideways”)/TV actor “John Adams” (HBO)

1970 [42] James ‘Munky’ Shaffer, Rosedale CA, nu metal guitarist (Korn-“Twisted Transistor”, “Here to Stay”)

1974 [38] Uncle Kracker (Matthew Shafer), Mount Clemens MI, country/rock/rap vocalist (“Smile”, “Drift Away”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• “D-Day”, the anniversary of the 1944 Allied invasion of Europe during WW2, when before dawn 2,727 ships of every description converged on Normandy carrying 2-million tons of war materials and 155,000 troops. The password used during the invasion was … ‘Mickey Mouse’.

• “Gardening Exercise Day”, a day to get out and workout with your plants. Don’t laugh … if you’ve ever helped a gardener for an afternoon, you know what hard work it is.

• “Tailors Day”, celebrated annually on the first Wednesday in June to recognize clothiers committed to fitting, pinning, and altering clothing so that those interested in sartorial strutting can display themselves in style. Tailors were once known as ‘snips’; male tailors were also known as ‘seamsters’. (As opposed to ‘seamstress’.)

• “Yo-Yo Day”, observed on the birth anniversary of Donald Duncan (1892-1971), the businessman who first mass-marketed the invention in the West in the 1930s when it became wildly popular. According to modern legend, the yo-yo was first invented in the Philippines centuries ago … as a weapon. (If it goes down but doesn’t come back up, is it a ‘yo’?)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

1933 [79] 1st ‘Drive-In Theater’ opens, in Camden NJ (25 cents per person or a buck-a-car to see “Wife Beware”)

1998 [14] TV show “Sex & The City” premieres on HBO

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .

1972 [40] David Bowie’s classic album “The Rise & Fall of Ziggy Stardust And the Spiders From Mars” is released

1992 [20] The Who’s Pete Townshend wins a Tony Award for ‘Best Original Score’ for the Broadway production of “Tommy”

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

1936 [76] The 1st ‘helicopter’ is tested in Berlin, Germany

TODAY’S RECORD . . .

1992 [20] A pyramid of 45 members of an Indian army motorcycle team rides 8 motorcycles 874 yards at Bangalore, India for a Guinness World Record

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] 2012 CMA Music Festival begins (Nashville)
[Thurs] “The Choice” premieres (FOX)
[Fri] “Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted”; “Prometheus” open in movie theaters
[Fri] World Ocean Day
[Fri] 2012 Download Festival begins (UK)
[Sat] Belmont Stakes (Queens NY)
This Week Is … Automotive Service Professionals Week
This Month … Celibacy Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS


BS SIGNS YOU LIVE TOO CLOSE TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK:
• It’s bumper car-to-bumper car traffic every rush hour.
• You have to wait for somebody to hit the target in order to bathe.
• Your kid’s first word is ‘getchaballoonshere’.
• Every meal you’ve had for the past 2 months has been served on a stick.
• Those giant Goofy droppings in the front yard.
– Adapted from TopFive.com

BS PHONE STARTER:

☎ Watching Venus cross the Sun … a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity or about as exciting as yesterday’s meatloaf?

BS RANDOM JOKE:

Some guys only play basketball because it’s the best major sport for displaying tattoos.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Question: According to “Good Housekeeping”, the more money you make the less likely it is you’ve done THIS in the last year.
Answer: Gone bowling.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Strong people have strong weaknesses.


Printer Friendly Version