Thursday, June 7, 2012        Edition: #4760

Sheet Happens!

Sorta actress-sorta singer Miley Cyrus is engaged, her rep confirming the 19-year-old and 22-year-old “Hunger Games” actor Liam Hemsworth are set to tie the knot after 3 years of dating (at least he has a career) . . . Sometime actress Amanda Bynes has officially been charged with DUI after her arrest back in April when she sideswiped a police cruiser, allegedly attempted to flee the scene, then refused to be tested for alcohol (rule #1 for drinking & driving – do NOT slam into a cop car) . . . Nadya ‘Octo-Mom’ Suleman, the controversial mother of 14, has finally done what she said she’d never do – appear in an adult film – but insisted on a solo performance for Wicked Pictures because quote: “I will not lose my grip of my deeply indoctrinated morals and values” (snort!) . . . Publicity hound Kim Kardashian tells “Us Weekly” she was ‘nearly’ involved in a 10-car pile-up during a recent family trip from LA to San Diego (she’s totally involved in the train wreck that is her life) . . . Last night “Glee” star Darren Criss headlined Barack Obama’s LGBT fundraising gala at LA’s Beverly Wilshire hotel, taking over for Pink, who’s down with stomach flu (you think she’d know about Peto-Bismol – it’s also pink) . . . Bruce Willis & Demi Moore’s middle daughter Scout Willis (20) has been busted for criminal impersonation and breaking the open container law, after giving cops fake ID when caught with an open beer in NYC’s Union Square (what’s her problem, other than a has-been dad who’s still making babies and a freaked-out mom who’s estranged from one?) . . . This week “Smash” star Debra Messing has finally filed for divorce from husband Daniel Zelman after 9-and-a-half years of marriage, not including the last 27 months which they spent – living together (only in Hollywood) . . . And movie star Kristen Stewart (“Snow White & The Huntsman”, “Twilight Saga”) tells the July issue of “Vanity Fair’s” that all those who mock her constant sour expression are, quote: ‘voracious, starving [sheet] eaters’ (we take offense, we’re not starving at all).


• AFI Lifetime Achievement Award (Los Angeles) – Oscar-winning actress Shirley MacLaine (“Terms of Endearment”) is honored with the American Film Institute’s 40th career achievement award at a gala ceremony to be broadcast later on TVLand.
• Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival (Manchester TN) – Tonight the annual 4-day music extravaganza opens in central Tennessee. This year’s performers include The Beach Boys, Bon Iver, Feist, Foster the People, Radiohead, and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
• CMA Music Festival 2012 (Nashville) – The annual 4-day country fan fest includes nightly concerts, with performances by Alan Jackson, The Band Perry, Blake Shelton, Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood, Dierks Bentley, Jason Aldean, Lady Antebellum, Miranda Lambert, Rascal Flatts, and Zac Brown Band. The event will be filmed for an ABC-TV special later this Summer.
• “The Choice” (FOX) – Cat Deeley hosts the premiere of a new celebrity dating game whose format spoofs singing competition “The Voice” (NBC). Pauly D, Romeo, and Jason Cook are among bachelors participating. At least 6 episodes are planned, some featuring female celebs.
• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Regina Spektor (“What We Saw From the Cheap Seats”).
• “Duets” (ABC) – The music superstars perform inspirational songs with their duet partners.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Dead Sara (“Dead Sara”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Ting Tings (“Sounds From Nowheresville”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Carly Rae Jepsen (“Curiosity”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Australian indie rock band The Temper Trap (“Temper Trap”) also performs live in the pre-show “Live On Letterman” webcast.
• “Take Me Out” (FOX) – Debut of a new series in which 30 women look for a Summer fling.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Bret Michaels (“Custom Built”).


• The Beatles – A museum dedicated to them in Hamburg, Germany, where they regularly played from 1960-62, is set to close. ‘Beatlemania’ is shutting its doors due to … lack of interest.
• Black Sabbath – Ozzy Osbourne has confirmed they’ve written 15 new songs for their first album with him since 1978. Whether or not they’ll all be included is yet to be decided. Ozzy says next year, 2013, is a good clue as to what the album will be called.
• Luke Bryan – He’s scored his 3rd consecutive Platinum single with his current top 5 country hit “Drunk On You”.
• Neil Young & Crazy Horse – It’s been announced they’ll hit the road this October for their first tour together since 2004. Fans purchasing tickets online will receive a copy of their brand new album “Americana”.
• Paul McCartney – He tells “BBC 5 Live” he’ll be ‘closing the opening’ of the 2012 London Olympics (opening ceremony takes place July 27th). He also closed the “Queen’s Jubilee Concert” in London on Monday night.
• Paul Simon – This year marks the 25th anniversary of his iconic album “Graceland”. A special anniversary box-set version has been released this week, along with a documentary titled “Under African Skies”.
• Phish – Tonight they kick off their 2012 Summer Tour with a 2-night stand at the DCU Center in Worcester, Massachusetts.
• Sheryl Crow – She’s just revealed to “Las Vegas Review-Journal” she was diagnosed with a brain tumor last year after having hospital tests. She says it’s benign so there’s no need to worry about it, but it has been the source of the memory loss she’s experienced since the 1990s.


A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Attachment” – 54-year-old actress Sharon Stone is set to seduce “Harry Potter” star Tom Felton in this upcoming sexual thriller . The “Basic Instinct” actress will play a married teacher who has a passionate one-night stand with one of her students, who then begins to stalk her. Production is scheduled to begin in the coming months.
• “Blonde” – Brad Pitt has stepped in to help director Andrew Dominik get his long-delayed Marilyn Monroe movie off the ground by serving as the project’s producer. Naomi Watts was originally attached to play the iconic bombshell in the bio-pic, but production stalled before shooting was scheduled to begin in January 2011.
• “Carrie” – Actress Chloe Moretz (“Dark Shadows”) is thought to have beaten out Dakota Fanning and Saorsie Ronan for the lead role as a troubled girl with psychic powers in this reboot of the 1976 horror film based on a Stephen King story. Julianne Moore is confirmed to co-star as her abusive, fundamentalist mom. The remake is due March 15, 2013.
• “Steve Jobs” – Aaron Sorkin, the Oscar-winning screenwriter behind “The Social Network” and TV’s “The West Wing”, will write the screenplay for this bio-pic about the late Apple co-founder. The film is based on Walter Isaacson’s official biography of the late entrepreneur and is entirely unconnected to a rival project starring Ashton Kutcher which is already shooting.
• “Thor 2” – Chris Hemsworth will reprise his role as the titular character and Natalie Portman will return as nurse ‘Jane Foster’ in this sequel to the 2011 movie, but producers are promising a ‘major new antagonist’ that is NOT comic book villain ‘Thanos’. The sequel will also feature Idris Elba (‘Heimdall’) and Anthony Hopkins (‘Odin’). It’s due in theaters November 15, 2013.


Researchers who analyzed the use of motivational thinking and self-talk in 32 sports-related psychology studies have found that, for fine motor skills like improving your swimming stroke, instructional self-talk works best, as in mentally repeating specific phrases like ‘elbow-up’. This kind of specific reminder is a lot more effective in these cases than general motivational statements like ‘you can do it!’. But for strength and endurance sports, the simple, motivational ‘go for it!’-type phrases work best. (Less effective self-talk phrase: ‘This is never gonna work’.)


• A company called ‘E La Carte’ touts tablets as a replacement for paper menus in restaurants, thereby making one of the cheapest and simplest concepts complicated and expensive.
• The smartphone app ‘Tykoon’ is intended to start kids on the road to financial independence at a very young age. Sort of like “Celebrity Apprentice” for tykes.
• The website ‘Life 360’ flogs a new app that allows you to spy on your kids 24/7. Thanks for trusting me, mom.
• ‘Launch Now’ helps you build a real company as a game. Rather than as a company, where it might be useful.
• ‘Shopcade’ allows you to spam your friends with links to buy stuff and make money if they buy. So, how little are your friends worth to you?


Tennis racquet-maker Babolat has developed a new model with a built-in computer chip that can help you take a long, honest look at your forehand, backhand or serve, and fix it. The chip tracks pertinent information like where you make contact with the ball; how hard you hit it; what kind of spin you apply; and how consistent you are. The ‘Play & Connect’ racquet then links to a computer, smartphone, or tablet via a wireless link so you can get an analysis on your game. (Or you can just rely on your partner to reveal that you suck.)


A whole new version of the Internet is about to take over. Internet Protocol version 6 is here to save us from the dwindling room in cyberspace. The IPv6 transition is necessary because we’ve nearly run out of the 4.3 billion IP addresses possible within the IPv4 system – you know, that 8-digit number your router is always yammering on about. The new system supports up to 32 digits and allows for up to 340 trillion-trillion-trillion combinations. (Basically, this is like when phone companies switched to 10-digit phone numbers.)


Studies of line-ups show that we’re much more patient when we’re given an idea of how long we’ll be waiting, instead of wondering whether it will be 3 minutes or 3 hours. Disney is a master at this, posting estimated wait times next to attractions in its amusement parks. But interestingly, Disney lies. It pads the times so you always arrive ahead of the posted time, giving you a false sense of feeling happy. (Disney also creates the illusion you’re almost at the head of a line, only to discover a labyrinth of people hidden behind a hedge that’s longer than what you’ve been through.)

• The US has more aircraft carriers than the rest of the world put together.
• Dormice climb trees using their whiskers.
– “Magazine Monitor”


1952 [60] Liam Neeson, Ballymena, Northern Ireland, movie actor (“Battleship”, “Schindler’s List”)  UP NEXT: “The Dark Knight Rises”, opening July 20th.

1956 [56] LA (Antonio) Reid, Cincinnati OH, record executive/producer (Avril Lavigne, Justin Bieber, Kanye West, P!nk, Rihanna, Usher, etc)/TV personality (“The X Factor” since 2011)

1958 [54] Prince (Prince Rogers Nelson), Minneapolis MN, oldies singer (“Purple Rain”, “When Doves Cry”)

1966 [46] Eric Kretz, San Jose CA, rock drummer (Stone Temple Pilots-“Between the Lines”, “Trippin’ On a Hole In a Paper Heart”)

1967 [45] Dave Navarro, Santa Monica CA, rock guitarist (Jane’s Addiction-“Been Caught Stealing”, ex-Red Hot Chili Peppers)/wed to actress Carmen Electra (2003-06)

1988 [24] Michael Cera, Brampton ON, movie actor (“Scott Pilgrim vs The World”, “Juno”)/TV actor (“Arrested Development” 2003-06)


• Attitude Day”. Attitudes are contagious … is yours worth catching? Why not knock off with the ‘tude for just one lousy day and try to be easier to get along with?

• “Chocolate Ice Cream Day”, celebrating one of the most popular flavors, but not THE most popular flavor. That honor still goes to vanilla, favorite of 29% of us. Chocolate is runner-up at 8.9%.


1972 [40] 1950s-style musical “Grease” opens on Broadway (lasts for 3,388 performances through April 13, 1980)


1993 [19] Prince celebrates his birthday by changing his name to a circle with a curved line below as a protest over his recording contract (for several years he is announced on radio as the ‘artist formerly known as Prince’)

2007 [05] Bo Diddley is buried in Gainesville, Florida while mourners chant his signature “Hey! Bo Diddley” and a floral tribute portrays his modified square Gretsch guitar


1962 [50] Switzerland banking institution Credit Suisse opens the 1st ‘Drive-Thru Bank’, in downtown Zurich

1975 [37] Sony introduces the 1st ‘Home VCR’, the Betamax, which sells for the exorbitant price of $995 even though it only records for 1 hour (eventually disappears as consumers prefer VHS format)


[Fri] “Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted”; “Prometheus” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Banana Split Day
[Fri] Euros 2012 begins (Poland/Ukraine)
[Fri] World Ocean Day
[Fri] 2012 Download Festival begins (UK)
[Sat] Belmont Stakes (Queens NY)
[Sun] 66th Tony Awards (NYC)
This Week Is … Business Etiquette Week
This Month Is … Adopt a Shelter Cat Month


• “Still Life, With Yard Work”
• “Man With a Faint Impression Still Visible in His Left Earlobe Because It Seemed Like a Good Idea In 1991”
• “Portrait Of the Artist Shaving His Beard Because the Whole Freakin’ Thing is Grey All Of a Sudden”
• “Three Musicians You’ve Never Heard Of That Your Kids Seem to Know All About”
• “The Something or Other of Memory”
– Thanks to Amorak Huey.


☎ Did you have a cruel nickname in school? What was it? (No crying.)

Which were early models of vacuum cleaners powered by?
a. Gasoline. [CORRECT]
b. Wood.
c. Dust.


Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.


Question: Women are most likely to do THIS between the ages of 20-and-23.
Answer: Wear a short skirt.


Someone who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.

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