Friday, March 27, 2020 – Edition: #6664

You’re Up to Your Eyeballs in Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Idris Elba is dismissing the conspiracy theory that some celebrities were paid to report that they had contracted COVID-19. Both Elba and his wife have tested positive for the highly contagious respiratory infection, and on Insta Live, he said: “It shouldn’t be about whether rich or poor gets it. I think that the negativity around test-shaming is counterproductive. I don’t see what people get out of that. And also, this idea that someone like myself is gonna be paid to say I’ve got coronavirus, that’s absolute bull…”
-TheBlast
★ Bindi Irwin, daughter of the late ‘Crocodile Hunter’ Steve Irwin, got married on Wednesday, in an event that spurred online protest because it happened just hours before an Australian ban on ceremonies with more than five people took effect. The images were broadcast less than 24 hours after Prime Minister Scott Morrison imposed a limit of just five people at weddings – the couple, a celebrant and two witnesses – beginning on Wednesday at midnight, as a way of combatting the spread of COVID-19.
-Canoe
★ Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul are following in Ryan Reynolds’ footsteps by donating 30 per cent of the sale of each bottle of their spirit “Dos Hombres” to out-of-work bartenders. The “Breaking Bad” co-stars thought that Reynolds idea to help out those who have lost their jobs in bars and clubs as a result of the coronavirus pandemic by pledging 30% of his own brand Aviation Gin’s online sales to those struggling financially in the industry was a great initiative.
-MSN
★ Chef Floyd Cardoz reportedly died on Wednesday as a result of complications from coronavirus. He was 59. The “Top Chef Masters” winner was first admitted to a New York hospital with a fever last Wednesday. At the time, he posted an update on his Instagram page, saying he sought medical help as a “precautionary measure.”
-MSN

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Bob Odenkirk, Iliza Shlesinger, Soccer Mommy (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Tina Fey, Best of Fallon
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jim Gaffigan, Tom Steyer (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Glenn Howerton, Andrew Yang, Margaret Atwood, Yesod Williams (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Kate Beckinsale, Josh Lucas, Andy Haynes (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Guest co-host Sara Haines
• “The Talk” (CBS): Shemar Moore, guest co-host Brigitte Nielsen (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Nicole Richie, Johnny Rzeznik, Monica Mangin
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): John Krasinski, Curtis Stone, Cat Cora, Susan Feniger (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Amy Poehler, Rebecca Romijn (R)
• “Pandemic: What You Need to Know” (ABC): Addressing the widespread issues caused by the global COVID-19 pandemic and offering solutions from those adjusting to a new way of life.
• “Somewhere South” (PBS): Season 1 premiere. The historical ties between hand pies, labor and migration; a trip to West Virginia includes pepperoni rolls and a look at the world’s most popular hand pie — the empanada.

SATURDAY-
• “Just My Type” (HALLMARK): Vanessa, a pop culture writer in NYC, lands the interview of a lifetime with renowned author Martin Clayborne.
• “The Kitchen” (HBO): When the FBI sends three women’s gangster husbands to prison, the women take business into their own hands by running the rackets and taking out the competition in the Hell’s Kitchen section of New York in 1978.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Scarlett Johansson with musical guest Niall Horan (R)

SUNDAY-
• “American Idol” (ABC): Hawaii Showcase and Final Judgment
• “Call the Midwife” (PBS): Season 9 premiere.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Billie Eilish – will perform with Finneas and John Legend on James Corden’s primetime special from his garage on March 30. “Homefest: James Corden’s Late Late Show Special” will also feature performances by: BTS in South Korea, Andrea Bocelli in Italy, and Dua Lipa in London — all from the safety of their own homes. Will Ferrell and David Blaine are also slated to appear.
• Justin Bieber — took to social media on Tuesday to unveil a new compilation of his music. Alongside a link to a five-song collection titled “R&Bieber”, he wrote: “Gonna be putting up some compilations for you guys. Tuesdays and Thursdays. Here is the first one.”
• John Legend – is teasing his “sexiest” album to date, saying that it is perfect for anyone who wants “to make some corona babies.” He’s been hard at work on his latest record while self isolating. Speaking about it via a video chat with Jimmy Fallon on “The Tonight Show: Home Edition”, Legend promised the new music is ideal for getting frisky.
• Michael Jackson – His estate has announced a donation of $300,000 in response to the Coronavirus outbreak, to help communities that have been severely impacted by the virus. Three Square Food Bank (Southern Nevada’s largest hunger-relief organization) Broadway Cares, and MusicCares will each receive a $100,000.
• Elton John – will host a TV special to raise funds and awareness for the battle against coronavirus. “The iHeart Living Room Concert for America” will air on March 29 on Fox television, and will feature performances by Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong, Alicia Keys, Billie Eilish, Mariah Carey, Tim McGraw, the Backstreet Boys and more.
• The Who — Pete Townshend says he plans to listen to Donald Glover’s new album, “3.15.20”, while in self-isolation. He says that Glover (aka Childish Gambino) is one of the artists he’s looking forward to dedicating ”an hour of concentrated listening” to.
• Foo Fighters — As the live music industry grinds to a halt due to the coronavirus pandemic, Dave Grohl has devised a plan to continue entertaining while under self-quarantine. But instead of sharing music, he will be sharing stories of “some of the more ridiculous moments” of his life via a newly created Instagram account.
• Rhett Akins — and his wife, Sonya, have welcomed a baby boy! Sonya shared news of the birth of Brody James Akins on Instagram, writing, “Friday the 13th is a pretty magical day … He is perfect in every way!!!!”
• Maren Morris – The brand-new Mom may have unintentionally created the ultimate baby hack. A Twitter user posted video showing a crying baby being calmed by Morris’ hit ‘The Bones’, with the caption: “When I was pregnant I listened to @MarenMorris and @Hozier ‘The Bones’ frequently… now it never fails to calm her down.” Morris responded, tweeting: “I will say, the same thing doesn’t work for my baby,” which she followed with laughing emojis.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
***Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and the fact that most theatres are closed, all major movie releases have been put on hold. Stay home and binge-watch something – again!***

HOME IMPROVEMENT:
As millions of workers have been forced out of their offices in an effort to curb the coronavirus outbreak, many have also learned that their dream of working in pajamas all day just hasn’t materialized due to the advent of easy videoconferencing software. That’s right – if you’re working from home, you may still need to look decent. So, why not fight tech with tech? University student Grant Rosenthal, who was forced back into his family home when the University of California closed its doors, found a way for sleepy and pajama-clad workers (and students!) to look fresh-faced without having to go through the tedium of…oh, showering and using an under-eye de-puffer. He posted video instructions on using a handy tool included with videoconferencing software “Zoom”, called the “touch up” option, which he says allows you to “watch your skin be facetuned in real life”. According to Zoom’s website, the feature “retouches your video display with a soft focus. This can help smooth out the skin tone on your face, to present a more polished-looking appearance when you display your video to others.”
(They’ll never let your real face back into the office!)
(FaceTime needs to get this – STAT!)
(Can it also edit your children from the background?)
-NYPost

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A man’s 2,995-day streak of going to Disneyland ended when the park in California, shut its doors in an attempt to prevent the spread of coronavirus. 47-year-old Jeff Reitz had visited the park every day since 2011, until it was closed on March 14. He said he’s still trying to figure out what’s next, but he’s looking forward to watching some movies on Disney+. (Fortunately, now he’ll have plenty of time to work on ending that other streak of his: Virginity!)
➢ A group of rafters who spent the 25 days camping on the Grand Canyon’s Colorado River emerged to a confusing world completely enveloped by the coronavirus when they finished their trip on Sunday. The group of more than a dozen set out on the trip on February 19. Their phones were off as the virus spread across the United States. When they finished the trip, they were met by a rafting company employee in Flagstaff, Arizona, who told them the coronavirus was now a pandemic, Italy was on lockdown, supermarket shelves were empty, sports leagues had been suspended, the stock market had plummeted, and people were advised to stay indoors. 29-year-old Mason Thomas’ first reaction? “Why would a respiratory virus cause people to buy all the toilet paper?” (You’re not the first to ask that question…)
➢ In an effort to keep his dancers and kitchen staff employed during the coronavirus lockdown, a strip club owner in Portland, Ore. has created “Boober Eats.” The service brings meals, delivered by strippers clad in booty shorts and nipple pasties, straight to the customer’s door. Shon Boulden, owner of the Lucky Devil Lounge, says that Boober Eats delivers the club’s full menu, including chicken fingers, steak bites and mini corn dogs, at their standard prices. Alcoholic drinks are also available in the evening. A delivery fee of $30 is added. (But right now, they’re offering 90% off!)
-UPI, Insider, NYPost

DID YOU KNOW?
Experts are suggesting that you should drink plenty of water while in lockdown due to coronavirus. Why? Chances are, you’ll be increasing your sugar intake, whether out of boredom, or stress. And new research shows that flies fed a high-sugar diet show many hallmarks of metabolic disease, including increased fat and insulin resistance (linked to obesity and diabetes). But the more water the flies drank, the longer they lived despite negative effects from sugar. Studying the effects of excess sugar in healthy humans, the researchers found parallels with the fly study. (Did the flies also get tiny little cavities?)
-Forbes

BS CHRONOMETER 03.27.20

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1963 [57] Quentin Tarantino, Knoxville TN, film producer-writer-director (“Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood”, “Kill Bill” movies, Oscar-“Pulp Fiction”)

1969 [51] Pauley Perrette, New Orleans LA, TV actress (‘Abby Sciuto’ on “NCIS” 2003-18)

1970 [50] Elizabeth Mitchell, Los Angeles CA, TV actress (“Lost” 2006-2010, “Dead of Summer” 2016)

1970 [50] Mariah Carey, Huntington NY, pop singer (‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’, ‘Emotions’)/5 Grammy Awards/19 #1 singles

1971 [49] Nathan Fillion, Edmonton AB, TV actor (“Castle” 2009-16, “The Rookie” since 2018)

1975 [45] Fergie (Stacy Ferguson), Whittier CA, pop singer (‘Fergalicious’, ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’, Black Eyed Peas-‘I Gotta Feeling’, ‘My Humps’)

1988 [32] Jessie J (Jessica Cornish), London UK, pop singer (‘Bang Bang’, ‘Price Tag’)/TV personality (“The Voice UK” 2012-13)

SATURDAY- Reba McEntire (‘Fancy’) is 65;  Rodney Atkins (‘Take a Back Road’) is 51; Vince Vaughn (“Wedding Crashers”) is 50; Kate Gosselin (“Jon and Kate Plus 8”) is 45; Julia Stiles (“Save the Last Dance”) is 39; Lady Gaga (‘Born This Way’) is 34

SUNDAY- Eric Idle (“Monty Python”) is 77; Model Elle Macpherson is 56; Lucy Lawless (“Xena: Warrior Princess”) is 52, Lara Logan (“60 Minutes”) is 49; Comedian Chris D’Elia is 40

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Joe Day”, when people who hate their names are to be given a break and simply called ‘Joe’. (***Ask listeners for the most horrific given names they’ve come across***)

• “Spanish Paella Day” [pie-AY-uh], celebrating the saffron rice dish that’s basically a stew that might include, chicken, sausage, shellfish, and vegetables. It’s often cooked and served in a flat round pan.

• “International Whisk(e)y Day”, launched in 2008. The name is used with the parenthesis to indicate support of Canadian, Japanese, and Scotch whiskies (no ‘e’) as well as American and Irish whiskeys (with an ‘e’). The day aims to support Parkinson’s Disease research.

• “World Theatre Day”, established in 1961 by the International Theatre Institute. A celebration for those who can see the value and importance of the art form “theatre”. Generally, the British prefer the “r-e” spelling of the word, while Americans tend to spell it ending with the letters “e-r”.

• “Viagra Day”, celebrating the 1998 date when the ‘Little Blue Pill’ for men was approved for retail sale. Are you up for this?

• “Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day”, how about these, for instance …
– ‘I Gave Her the Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger’
– ‘I Wish I Were a Woman (So I Could Go Out With a Guy Like Me)’
– ‘Get Off the Table, Mabel (The Two Dollars is for the Beer)’
– ‘My Phone Ain’t Been Ringing, So I Guess It Wasn’t You’
– ‘He’s got a Way with Women…and He’s Just got Away with Mine’

SATURDAY-
• “Children’s Picture Book Day”. And the best one of all-time is? “Hop on Pop”, of course.
• “Hot Tub Day”, time to soak yourself in a steaming hot tub and bust the stress. Human
stew!
• “Something on a Stick Day”, celebrating corn dogs, shish kebabs, Popsicles, ice cream bars, and any of the estimated 3 dozen other foods regularly served on a stick.
• “Weed Appreciation Day”, which is not what you’re thinking. It’s a salute to plants that grow wild which, though classified as weeds, have a beauty all their own. Think of them as wildflowers and see if that helps.
• “Black Forest Cake Day”, the cake is named not directly after the Black Forest in southwestern Germany but rather from the specialty liquor of that region, known as Schwarzwälder Kirsch(wasser) and distilled from tart cherries.

SUNDAY-
• “Mom & Pop Business Owners Day”, honoring family-run, small-time business operations. (***Ask listeners for the most unusual combination of services offered by a single business that they’ve come across, ie: “Sam’s Roofing & Dry Cleaning”.***)
• “Vietnam Veterans Day”. The last US troops left Vietnam 47 years ago today, in 1973. In 1971, at the height of the conflict, some 33,000 soldiers deserted, many moving to Canada.
• “Knights of Columbus Founders Day”, the world’s largest Catholic fraternal service organization. Founded by Father Michael J. McGivney in New Haven, Connecticut, in 1882, it was named in honor of explorer Christopher Columbus.
• “National Lemon Chiffon Cake Day”, the recipe debuted in a 1948 edition of Better Homes and Gardens. General Mills marketed it as “the first new cake in 100 years” and it quickly became a sensation. The secret recipe called for vegetable oil instead of butter or shortening, and instructed the baker to beat the egg whites and egg yolks separately.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2002 [18] Brit movie actor Dudley Moore (“Arthur”, “10”) dies at age 66

2015 [05] Willie Nelson announces that he and his family are hard at work on a new brand of marijuana called “Willie’s Reserve”

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1986 [34] Sammy Hagar makes his first appearance as Van Halen’s lead singer when the group begins their “5150″ tour in Louisiana.

2008 [12] 2006 “X Factor UK” winner Leona Lewis hits #1 on the singles chart with ‘Bleeding Love’

2008 [12] Country singer Trace Adkins is one of the finalists on Season 7 of “The Celebrity Apprentice”, but loses the battle to TV personality/tabloid editor Piers Morgan

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2014 [06] Doctors announce that a 3D-printed plastic skull has been successfully used to replace part of a woman’s real skull in an operation in the Dutch city of Utrecht

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ A cow must consume over 125 pounds of food and water to produce one pound of butter.
✓ There is a Swiss Army Knife with 31 features, including a tool for emergency tracheotomies.
✓ When startled, geckos make a noise that sounds like “Eeek!”
✓ A person is capable of making more than 1,000 different facial expressions.
✓ Volcanic ash has been known to retain its heat for 100 years.
✓ When Billboard first introduced the country music chart in 1939, it was called the “Hillbilly” chart.
-BathroomReadersInstitute

BS NON-ESSENTIAL SERVICES:
(Many areas have ordered non-essential services to close during the COVID-19 outbreak. Some people are surprised at how many are considered essential. Here is a comprehensive list of the only businesses that actually DO have to close…)
• Owl therapists
• Competitive flower pressers
• Fight club
• Ghost hunters
• Old-timey wagon-based cockle sales
• Emotional support cryptids
• Soup (research and development)
• Beasties (robots in disguise)
• Topiarists
• Consultants
-Facebook

TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ We celebrated International Waffle Day earlier this week, and my waffle maker is broken. (First the coronavirus, now this. It’s gone from batter to worse!)
➠ I just read that a man once survived on pizza alone for 25 years.  (Lightweight!)
➠ Caitlyn Jenner says that the Olympics being postponed is “devastating” for athletes and personally, it makes her very mad. (Not so mad that her face actually moved. But still, pretty mad.)
➠ Stats show that having large breasts can take five years off a woman’s lifespan. (But while you were here, you gave us Great Mammaries!)

BS WEB GOODIE:
In times like these, a good friend is invaluable:  https://tinyurl.com/wnzoxvu

BS PHONE STARTER:
What, to you, was the weirdest event of the last 50 years?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I told my wife (husband) she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  According to kids, THIS is the worst thing about riding in the car with their parents. What is it?
Answer:  Their singing

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.