Thursday, March 19, 2015        Edition: #5411

Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!

★ After much tribulation, E! has announced that it is putting “Fashion Police” on hiatus. The E! stalwart came under scrutiny earlier this month after recent addition Kathy Griffin announced she was leaving the show after serving as replacement for the late Joan Rivers on just 7 episodes. Griffin’s departure happened a few weeks after co-host Kelly Osbourne also left the show. It’s hoped the program will return in September, with co-hosts Giuliana Rancic and Brad Goreski, along with executive producer Melissa Rivers, continuing in their roles. (Isn’t it time to put this nasty finger-pointing show to sleep?)
★ Gwen Stefani’s fashion brand Harajuku Lovers is launching a new line of watches. The 45-year-old singer is releasing the timepieces in collaboration with watchmaker Q&Q. The limited-edition collection consists of 9 vibrant styles in various prints including stripes, polka dots, and houndstooth. The unisex pieces, which are solar-powered and can last 3 months on a single charge, will retail at $50 each and go on sale at April 5th. Quote: ”I couldn’t be happier with how they turned out. They’re like little wearable pieces of pop art that are collectable. They look super-modern while still being playful and fun.” (“Can you tell me the playful and fun time, please?”)
– “Womens Wear Daily”
★ The director of Will Ferrell & Kevin Hart’s new comedy “Get Hard” (opening March 27th) has defended the movie against accusations that it contains racist jokes during a heated panel discussion at this week’s SXSW festival in Austin TX. The film stars Ferrell as a wealthy businessman who hires a black employee to help him prepare for prison life ahead of a stretch behind bars. Director Etan Cohen, who also co-wrote the film, justifies the edgy humor as being provocative and at Ferrell’s expense. (Even so, one audience member calls it “racist as f—.”)
★ And former show biz couple Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes reportedly have no contact with one another and any discussion regarding their daughter Suri is carried out through intermediaries. They split in 2012 after 5 years of marriage. The 36-year-old actress is said to be ”dissatisfied” with her 52-year-old ex-husband’s non-involvement in their daughter’s life as he hasn’t seen her in months while working in London. However, sources close to Cruise insist he’s still involved with Suri and now that production on “Mission: Impossible 5” has wrapped, he’ll be returning to Los Angeles and will see his little girl then. (“Mommy, who is that really short man at the door?”)

• “American Idol” (FOX) – The top 10 contestants perform and face elimination; Jennifer Lopez performs.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Purity Ring (“Shrines”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Madonna’s week-long residency continues.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The Weeknd (“Kiss Land”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Misterwives (“Our Own House”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Kishi Bashi (“Lighght”). Rerun.
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Method Man (Wu-Tang Clan).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Lenny Kravitz (“Strut”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Rixton (“Let the Road”).
• “The Ultimate Music Experience” (South Padre Island TX) – The 5th annual, today through Saturday, with EDM DJs David Guetta, Hardwell, and Tiësto as headliners. The Spring Break event happens at the Schlitterbahn Beach Waterpark on the Gulf of Mexico.

• Amy Winehouse – The Brit singer’s brief life is the subject of a new documentary directed by Asif Kapadia (“Senna”). Entitled simply “Amy”, the film has been in production for the past 2 years and features unseen archive footage and previously unheard tracks. It’s out July 3rd.
• Bon Jovi – Jon Bon Jovi has won a squeaker over Bruce Springsteen for the title ‘Favorite New Jersey Rocker’ in an online poll by NJ newspaper “Asbury Park Press”. Bon Jovi received 11,140 votes (50.66%), while Springsteen racked up 10,851 (49.34%).
• Drake – His 6th annual “OVO Fest” is returning to Toronto ON August 1-to-3. The 1st day will feature comedian Kevin Hart; the 2nd J Cole, Big Sean, and others; then Drake himself headlines the 3rd day, as usual with special surprise guests. Tickets go on sale Friday.
• Elton John – Just a day after his much ballyhooed call for a boycott of Dolce & Gabbana for their comments about in vitro fertilization, he’s been spotted this week … carrying a D&G bag into a recording studio in Los Angeles. Oops.
• Free – Andy Fraser, the bass player for Free who co-wrote “All Right Now” when he was 15, has died at age 62 in Temecula, California. The 1970 hit topped out at #4 on the pop/rock chart, but became even bigger as a staple on classic rock stations for decades afterward.
• Kanye West – Seems there’s a lot of ‘Ye naysayers. Over 21,000 people, about 15% of the capacity of Glastonbury Festival, have now signed a petition asking that his just-announced headline performance at this year’s festival on Worthy Farm in June be cancelled.
• Kendrick Lamar – His new album “To Pimp a Butterfly”, which was released a week earlier than expected, has broken Spotify’s record for ‘Most Streams in a Single Day’. It streamed 9.6 million times across the world on Monday, breaking Michael Bublé’s record for “Christmas”.
• Nicki Minaj – She’s set a new Urban Radio record, becoming the 1st female artist in history to simultaneously land 3 songs as lead artist in the Top 10 at the format, according to Mediabase and “Billboard”.
• Rihanna – It sounds like she’s going for a more mature musical vibe on her upcoming 8th album. She tells MTV: “When I get on stage now, I don’t want to perform a lot of my songs because they don’t feel like me. So I want to make songs that are timeless.”

Do you argue with your partner? If you don’t, frankly, you’re weird. A sampling of common reasons for relationship conflicts …
✓ Blame Addiction – When things go wrong, we need someone else to blame.
✓ Cooking – Specifically, kitchen interference. Let the cook do it their way … even if it’s wrong.
✓ False Memory Syndrome – Fights are often not about the facts of what happened but how it is individually remembered.
✓ Holidays – Birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving … petri dishes for disappointment and conflict.
✓ Interior Design – What do you mean using flags for curtains looks cheesy?
✓ Money – Who earns most. What it gets spent on. Who pays what.
✓ Parenting – Who decides what’s best for the kids is a frequent theme for arguments.
✓ Relatives – The gap between your perception of your family and your partner’s is often considerable.
✓ Sex – Either one partner wants more, or one partner wants less.
✓ Tidiness – To the neat freak, the other is a slob. To the slob, the other is a control freak.
– Condensed from

Albany Great Danes
Coastal Carolina Chanticleers
Hampton Pirates
Manhattan Jaspers
Providence Friars
San Diego State Aztecs
Stephen F Austin Lumberjacks
UC Irvine Anteaters
Wichita State Shockers
Xavier Musketeers
– Sourced from ESPN

In a spanking new Duke University study, psychologists are discouraging the so-called ‘spank-then-cuddle’ parenting practice. The researchers suggests that a loving, warm parenting style should not include corporal punishment because it’s too confusing for the child. In fact, they say, it could worsen the child’s aggression. The study of 1,000 children and their mothers in 8 countries has found the practice most often makes a child more, not less, anxious. While maternal warmth can ease the impact of light corporal punishment in children between the ages of 8-and-10, the anxiety and aggression fester, regardless. The study also notes that 43 countries have now made it a crime for parents to apply corporal punishment. (Unless you’re Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson.)

In many areas the ‘running of the sap’ is a sure sign of Spring. A few truths about the ‘liquid gold’ it’s made into …
• Most maple trees only yield 5-to-15 gallons of sap per season.
• It takes roughly 40 gallons of sap to make 1 gallon (about 4 L) of maple syrup.
• High-quality maple syrup is composed, at minimum, of 66% sugar.
• Sap-gathering pumps have replaced traditional taps and buckets throughout North America.
• The International Maple Syrup Institute was founded in 1975 to promote and protect pure maple syrup and other maple syrup products.
• 80% of the world’s supply comes from Canada, two-thirds of it from the province of Québec.
• Canada’s grading system includes 4 hue-related categories: Extra Light (AA), Light (A), Medium (B), #2 Amber (C), and #3 Dark (D).
• Fake maple syrup contains fructose, corn syrup, cellulose gum, and caramel coloring.
– Sourced from


1947 [68] Glenn Close, Greenwich CT, movie actress (“Guardians Of the Galaxy”, “Fatal Attraction”)/TV actress (“Damages” 2007-12)/Broadway actress (“Sunset Boulevard”)

1952 [63] Harvey Weinstein, Flushing NY, film producer (“Silver Linings Playbook”, “Django Unchained”)/studio executive (co-chairmen of The Weinstein Co with brother Bob)  UP NEXT: “War & Peace” (2016).

1955 [60] Bruce Willis, Idar-Oberstein, Germany, movie actor (“RED” films, “Die Hard” series)  COMING UP: “Rock the Kasbah” (November 13).

1976 [39] Zach Lind, Mesa AZ, rock drummer (Jimmy Eat World-“Pain”, “The Middle”)

• “Absolutely Incredible Kid Day”, the 19th annual observance on the 3rd Thursday in March encouraging adults to let kids know just how amazing and valuable they are. The idea is to write a note (text?) of support and encouragement to a kid of your choice.

• “Chocolate Caramel Day”, an annual celebration of everything great about chocolate and caramel. (Increased flab, dental cavities …)

• “Companies That Care Day”, celebrated on the 3rd Thursday of March to encourage employers to foster a people-supportive work environment and to strengthen their ties to the local community.

• “Last Full Day of Winter”, as “Spring” officially arrives in the Northern Hemisphere tomorrow with the Vernal Equinox at 6:45 pm EDT.

• “Poultry Day”, celebrating chicken, turkey, and other farm-raised fowl that we commonly consume. They also give us our breakfast eggs.

• “St Joseph’s Day”, the day that the swallows traditionally return to the Mission San Juan Capistrano in California, an excuse for the annual “Fiesta de las Golindrinas”. Every March 19th since 1776 (with few exceptions), the birds have come back to usher in Spring in the Southern California seaside town, and their return is now an annual tourist attraction.

• “Teenagers Day”, a day to quit picking on them for their awkwardness and angst in striving to become adults and admit that, compared to ourselves at that age, they ain’t so bad after all.

2009 [06] “Late Show” host David Letterman marries longtime partner Regina Lasko (when he can’t find an intern to ‘date’)

1957 [58] Elvis Presley buys the ‘Graceland’ estate in Memphis, Tennessee for $100,000 (about the same amount it now rakes in … daily)

1988 [27] Michael Jackson begins construction on his 2,800-acre ranch in Santa Barbara, California which he names ‘Neverland’, after the fantasy location where children never grow up in “Peter Pan” (at his Neverland, some are forced to grow up too soon)

1990 [25] 1st-ever ‘Women’s World Hockey Tournament’ (won by Canada in Ottawa ON)

2003 [12] USA, along with coalition forces primarily from the UK, initiates ‘Operation Iraqi Freedom’, aka the War on Iraq (well, that went well)

1994 [21] ‘World’s Largest Omelette’ is made in Yokohama, Japan using 160,000 eggs and measuring 1,383 square feet

[Fri] Alien Abduction Day
[Fri] Proposal Day
[Fri] Snowman Burning Day
[Sat] 26th GLAAD Media Awards (Los Angeles)
[Sat] Quilting Day
[Sun] International Goof-off Day
This Week Is … Animal Poison Prevention Week
This Month Is … International Women’s Month


• When you fancy someone in the office, your morning routine is extended by at least 30 minutes.
• You skirt the lines of decency with your office attire.
• You start ignoring one another at work so nobody will guess.
• You keep all traces of one another off social media just in case you’re found out.
• You half hate the secrecy, half think it’s so exciting.
• Walking to the office kitchen 17 times a day so your crush can admire you is a must.
• But you avoid the vending machine for fear of looking like a glutton.
• Office email takes on a whole new thrill.
• Lunchtime becomes less and less important, in case you smell or get stuff stuck in your teeth.
• You always want to appear funny and amazing when on the phone.
• If you’ve had a fight the night before you know not to bring drama into the office.
• When you’re mad at your crush, you’ll flirt with the office weirdo as payback.
– Adapted from

I am not going bald … I’m getting more head.

Pairs of which animal species ‘hold hands’ so they don’t drift apart while napping?
a. Sea otter. [CORRECT]
b. Sea turtle.
c. Seagull.

☎ What was your best/worst science fair project?

Question: Look around, 1-in-5 drivers on the road right now are also doing THIS.
Answer: Eating.

Do unto others … then bill them for it.

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