Friday, March 20, 2015        Edition: #5412

Sheet for Brains!

★ Composer Jeff Richmond has revealed that a musical version of the movie “Mean Girls” is 60% written and he promises it will be ‘creatively staffed’. Richmond, who’s married to “Mean Girls” writer/actress Tina Fey, says the production is already well advanced and he hopes to have the cast in place by this Summer. It’s as yet unclear whether that would include any of the 2004 film’s stars: Amanda Seyfried, Lindsay Lohan, and Rachel McAdams.
– Yahoo TV
★ Canadian actress/director Sara Polley has reportedly signed on to adapt Louisa May Alcott’s classic novel “Little Women”, which follows the fortunes of 4 sisters growing up in post-Civil War America. Amy Pascal, who is stepping down from her post as co-chairman of Sony in light of the hacking scandal, will co-produce the project. “Little Women” has previously been adapted into 3 films. The last, in 1994, featured Winona Ryder and Kirsten Dunst.
★ And it has been confirmed that Liza Minnelli has checked into rehab. The 69-year-old Oscar-winner (1973’s “Cabaret”) has been seeking treatment at an undisclosed medical center for substance abuse for the past week. Her spokesperson says it’s expected that she’ll be released shortly, considering she’s doing so well. It is believed Liza is seeking help for her addiction to alcohol.

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Madonna finishes out a week-long residency (“Rebel Heart”).
• “GLAAD Media Awards” (LA CA) – Saturday the 26th annual gala at the Beverly Hilton saluting media for fair, accurate, and inclusive representations of the LGBT community. ABC-TV’s “How to Get Away with Murder”, “Grey’s Anatomy”, and “The Fosters” are all contenders for ‘Best Drama’, while Netflix’s “Orange Is the New Black” is among nominees for ‘Best Comedy’ for a 2nd consecutive year. The NYC version of the awards is on May 9th.
• “Glee” (FOX/CityTV) – Tonight the 2-hour series finalé after 6 seasons and over 700 songs performed includes flashbacks to the original ‘New Directions’ members joining the club. While Ryan Murphy’s one-time musical smash has seen ratings plummet in its last few seasons, it’s impossible to deny the series’ impact on pop culture.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight from SXSW in Austin TX the guest is Willie Nelson (“December Day”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Gap Dream (“Shine Your Light”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show” (CBS/Omni 1) – Tonight Ryan Adams (“Ryan Adams”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight Echosmith (“Talking Dreams”); Kate Pierson (“Guitars & Microphones”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Tonight Mikky Ekko (“Time”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Today Plain White T’s (“American Nights”, out Mach 31st).
• Lollapalooza Argentina (Buenos Aires) – Saturday-Sunday the line-up includes Alt-J, Bastille, Calvin Harris, Foster the People, Jack White, Pharrell Williams, Smashing Pumpkins and more.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight Bettye LaVette (“Thankful N’ Thoughtful”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Ariana Grande (“My Everything”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Sunday Ellie Goulding, Meghan Trainor, Nick Jonas, and Lionel Richie help with the Battle Rounds. Rerun.

• The Decemberists – Tomorrow they launch the 1st leg of a North American tour in Portland OR. The trek is set to run through April 13th in Nashville TN. 1 dollar from every ticket sold goes to non-profit causes via Revolutions Per Minute.
• “Empire” – The soundtrack to the hit TV series has edged Madonna’s new album “Rebel Heart” to claim top spot on the new ‘Billboard 200′ all-genre chart. The show’s also the 3rd-highest-rated on primetime TV with last Wednesday’s episode attracting 14.9 million viewers.
• Foo Fighters – Dave Grohl is considering making a 2nd season of his HBO documentary series, “Sonic Highways”, only this time exploring recording studios in Europe. The rocker/director’s musical trip through America was a big hit when it aired last year.
• Jay Z – In 2013, Jack White’s Third Man Records announced it would release a vinyl version of Jay’s album “Magna Carta Holy Grail”, but it didn’t happen. The vinyl edition finally arrives this weekend to celebrate the expansion of Third Man Records’ store in Nashville TN. “Magna Carta Holy Grail” is available as eight 7-inch records inside a clothbound binder.
• Luke Bryan – He’s atop the new ‘Billboard Country Albums’ chart with “Spring Break … Checkin’ Out.”
• Mariah Carey – The 44-year-old has been asked by her new label Epic Records to record another Christmas album for release this holiday season. Her 1994 album “Merry Christmas” is the best-selling seasonal album of all-time. So far, she hasn’t committed.
• Milky Chance – Following the release of their full-length debut album “Sadnecessary”, the German duo is beginning their first full-scale North American tour tonight in Dallas TX. The 2-month trek wraps May 22nd in Vancouver BC.
• Robin Thicke – His divorce from Paula Patton is officially confirmed, Legal documents obtained by TMZ show that the ex-couple were formally granted their divorce March 17th, 5 months after Patton filed and over a year since they began living apart in February 2014.
• TV On the Radio – Tonight they begin a new string of tour dates in support of their latest album, “Seeds”. The trek begins in Dallas TX and continues through April 3rd in LA CA.

• “The Gunman” ( R-Rated Action Thriller ): A sniper on a mercenary assassination team kills the Minister of Mines in the Congo. The successful kill shot forces him into hiding. Upon returning to the Congo years later, he becomes the target of a hit squad himself. Stars Sean Penn, Idris Elba, Jasmine Trinca, Javier Bardem.
• “Insurgent” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller): In this new installment from the “Divergent” series, ‘Beatrice Prior’ must confront her inner demons and continue her fight against a powerful alliance which threatens to tear her society apart. Stars Shailene Woodley, Ansel Elgort, Theo James, Kate Winslet.
• Opening in limited release: “Danny Collins” (Dramedy); “Do You Believe?” (Faith-based Drama); “Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter” (Drama); and ” Spring” (Sci-fi Horror).

Residents of Beijing, China are being offered the chance to rent capsule-sized apartments … as long as they don’t mind sharing. While capsule hotel rooms are primarily a Japanese phenomenon, the concept is being adapted to teeny, tiny apartments in the Chinese capital. One landlord is renting out the pods for as little as 100 yuan per night ($16). For that, tenants get a tiny bedroom, equally small lounge, and a desk area in an apartment which measures around 160 square meters (1,722 sq ft). That may sound spacious enough, but residents must share the facilities with up to 17 other tenants. One renter says you become used to the limited space, the same as living in a university dorm. (For more info, Google ‘Hell On Earth’.)
– “China Daily”

• “How to Teach Physics to Your Dog”
• “Dating For Under a Dollar: 301 Ideas”
• “Teach Your Wife to Be a Widow”
• “The New Radiation Recipe Book”
• “How to Poo On a Date”
• “Bombproof Your Horse”
• “How to Be Pope”
• “How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack”
• “Where Underpants Came From”
• “Crafting with Cat Hair”
– Adapted from

The proof is in the paper! For years people have struggled with the classic question, “Where does the toilet paper end go … is it over or is it under?” This debate has ended relationships, split families, and torn friends apart. Well, the argument has finally been settled. Writer Owen Williams has done research and recently posted online inventor Seth Wheeler’s original 1891 patent for the toilet paper roll. Wheeler himself describes his invention as “a roll of connected sheets of paper for toilet use”, and the accompanying picture clearly shows the paper should go over the roll, not under. (Ever ‘corrected’ someone’s installation when visiting their home?)
– Sourced from

Colorado businesses sold 148,238 lbs of marijuana in 2014, the 1st year recreational use was legal in the state.


1950 [65] William Hurt, Washington DC, movie actor (“Into the Wild”, Oscar-“Kiss Of the Spiderwoman”)/TV actor (“Too Big to Fail”, “Damages”)

1957 [58] Spike (Shelton) Lee, Atlanta GA, movie director (“Malcolm X”)/movie producer (“Kobe Doin’ Work”)/movie actor (“Do the Right Thing”)

1958 [57] Holly Hunter, Conyers GA, movie actress (“Thirteen”, Oscar-“The Piano”)

1972 [43] Alex Kapranos, Almondsbury UK, indie rock singer-guitarist (Franz Ferdinand-“No You Girls”, “Take Me Out”)

1976 [39] Chester Bennington, Phoenix AZ, rock singer (Linkin Park-“What I’ve Done”, “Numb”)

1982 [33] Nick Wheeler, Stillwater OK, rock guitarist (All-American Rejects-“Gives You Hell”, “Dirty Little Secret”)

Movie actor Gary Oldman (“The Dark Knight Rises”) is 57; Broadway-movie actor Matthew Broderick (“The Producers”) is 53; Movie actress/TV host Rosie O’Donnell (“A League of Their Own”) is 53; Rock singer-guitarist Deryck Whibley (Sum 41) is 35; TV actor Forrest Wheeler (“Fresh Off the Boat”) is 11.

TV-movie actor William Shatner (“Star Trek”) is 84; Composer Andrew Lloyd Webber (“Cats”) is 67; CNN news anchor Wolf Blitzer is 67; NBC-TV sportscaster Bob Costas is 63; Movie actress Reese Witherspoon (“Wild”) is 39; Indie rock guitarist Lincoln Parish (Cage the Elephant) is 25.

• “Atheist Pride Day”, an unofficial salute to non-believers that many mark by changing their Facebook profile picture to a stylized capital ‘A’. Green is the chosen color for the day, standing for ‘natural’ as opposed to ‘supernatural’.
• “Extraterrestrial Abductions Day”, honoring all wackos who claim they’ve been kidnapped by aliens.
• “First Day of Spring”, as the new season officially arrives in the Northern Hemisphere with the Vernal Equinox this evening at 6:45 pm EDT.
• “Great American Meat Out”, a grassroots movement encouraging us to try going meatless at least for one day. No meat today, feel better tomorrow! (Or so they say.)
• “International Day Of the Francophonie”, instigated by the International Organization Of the Francophonie to celebrate French speakers worldwide. It’s also “UN French Language Day”.
• “Proposal Day”, when both men & women are encouraged to pop the big question. Coincidentally it’s also “Kiss Your Fiancée Day”.
• “World Storytelling Day”, a global celebration of the art of oral storytelling, celebrated every year on March 20th.

• “Common Courtesy Day” … if you please. Thanks for your adherence!
• “Fragrance Day” and “Flower Day”, always observed on the 1st full day of Spring.
• “International Poetry Day”, a good day to sample some ‘modern poetry’ by reading the inane lyrics to a hit song over a mushy violin background track. Find lots of dumb lyrics here …
• “Nowruz” (“New Day”), the Persian New Year. The date is determined by the solar calendar and begins on the first full day of Spring. The festival lasts 13 days.
• “Quilting Day”, the 24th annual on the 3rd Saturday of March, celebrating the grassroots movement to unite quilters around-the-world.
• “Single Parents Day”, saluting those dedicated folks who single-handedly do the work of two in providing for their families.
• “World Down Syndrome Day”, the 9th annual to raise public awareness of the syndrome resulting from the triplication of the 21st chromosome … the reason it’s observed on 3/21.
• Other observances today: “Day of Action On Syringe Exchange”; “International Day For the Elimination of Racial Discrimination” (UN); “International Day of Forests” (UN); “International Puppetry Day”.

• “As Young As You Feel Day”, a day to quit wallowing in worry about your chronological age and start feeling peppy!
• “International Goof-Off Day”, a day to relax, be yourself, and generally just goof off. In other words … a regular day.
• “World Water Day”, a UN observance since 1992 emphasizing the worldwide necessity of potable drinking water and proper wastewater treatment.

2009 [06] Barack Obama appears on NBC-TV’s long-running “Tonight Show”, the 1st sitting US president to do so

2003 [12] Bruce Springsteen opens his Melbourne, Australia gig with an acoustic version of “Born In the USA” followed by Edwin Starr’s “War” as the US begins military operations in Iraq, with help from the Australia, Poland, and the UK

2007 [08] Former astronaut Buzz Aldrin becomes 1st to officially walk on the newly-constructed ‘Grand Canyon Skywalk’, a horseshoe shaped, glass-bottom walkway that extends 70 ft from the ledge and 4,000 ft above the Grand Canyon’s base

[Mon] Puppy Day
[Mon] World Meteorological Day
[Tues] Chocolate Covered Raisins Day
[Tues] World Tuberculosis Day
[Wed] Manatee Appreciation Day
This Week Is … World Folk Tales & Fables Week
This Month Is … Music In Our Schools Month


✓ Pretending you’re in a music video or movie montage when you’ve got your headphones on.
✓ Immediately re-reading an email the second after you send it.
✓ Tossing out food packaging, then immediately having to fish it out to find out how to cook it.
✓ Immediately touching a plate after the server warns you it’s hot.
✓ Staging fictional conversations between yourself and friends, enemies, celeb crushes, anyone.
✓ Dancing in elevators, bathrooms, basically any small place in which you find yourself alone.
✓ Trying really, really hard to move something with your mind, or just pretending you can.
✓ Apologizing to doors or furniture when you accidentally kick or bump into them.
✓ Stopping the microwave precisely at ‘1’ second, just to prove you can.
✓ Ripping a tiny bit of skin from your lip that turns out to be a really big bit. Ouch!
(Don’t worry, you’re not alone!)
– Adapted from

☎ What’s the smartest way you saved money on your prom?

My wife came home the other day and said, “Look honey, I lost 15 lbs.” I said, “If you look behind you, you’ll find likely it.” Actually, that was my estranged wife …

Question: About 1-in-5 people honestly thinks that they might be one of THESE.
Answer: A genius.

The reason men lie is because women ask so many questions.

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