March 31 2022

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Thursday, March 31, 2022 – Edition: #7200

Sheet Happens!

(***UPDATE***) ★ Bruce Willis is “stepping away” from acting after being diagnosed with aphasia. The 67-year-old actor’s family shared the news on Instagram, writing alongside a photo of him: “we wanted to share that our beloved Bruce has been experiencing some health issues and has recently been diagnosed with aphasia, which is impacting his cognitive abilities. As a result of this and with much consideration Bruce is stepping away from the career that has meant so much to him.” According to Mayo Clinic, aphasia “robs you of the ability to communicate” and “can affect your ability to speak, write and understand language, both verbal and written.”
★ After repeated pandemic-related delays, “Top Gun: Maverick” is flying onto the big screen on May 27. And the film’s final pre-release trailer rewards our patience with lots of high-flying action and a special appearance by one of cinema’s chillest characters. We finally have our first sighting of ‘Tom Kazansky’ aka “Iceman” in Maverick, and Val Kilmer’s alter ego has clearly had an eventful Navy career during the 36-year gap since the first “Top Gun”. Although this is Iceman’s first appearance in a Maverick trailer, his presence has been an open secret since the film went into production in 2018, even as the actor battled throat cancer. LINK:
★ “Jeopardy!” viewers were surprised when an unexpected glitch spoiled Monday’s episode outcome. While contestants usually make the headlines for their mistakes or funny wrong answers, this time, it was the production team in the spotlight. The incident occurred halfway through Monday’s episode, when the contestants’ podiums suddenly displayed their final scores. It showed that contestant Jackie Kelly finished with a winning total of $28,801 while fellow contestant Amie Walker came in third place with $1,000. Some eagle-eyed viewers picked up on the strange glitch and took to social media to share their confusion.
★ Netflix is taking its dating shows to the realm of marriage with “The Ultimatum: Marry or Move on”. It features 6 couples, all on the verge of getting hitched. But one partner in each relationship is unsure of taking things to the next level. While on the show, they are given an ultimatum: get married in 8 weeks or move on with someone else. The couples will also be choosing new partners to spend those 8 weeks with as they move in together in a “trial marriage”. Netflix released a trailer for the new show this week. The first 8 episodes of “The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On” will be released April 6. LINK:
★ Some lucky bidder is walking home with a cool artifact from “The Wizard of Oz.” The Tin Man’s oil can has just sold for $250,000! The highly sought-after piece of memorabilia was expected to fetch around $200k at the Artifacts of Hollywood & Music Auction. Tin Man’s can, the actual one used in the classic 1939 movie starring Judy Garland, is one of the only original items left from the character’s costume. Jack Haley, who played Tin Man, got to keep it as a parting gift after filming wrapped.

• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Sienna Miller, Judd Apatow, Big Thief
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Ben Stiller, Rose Matafeo, Brooke Colucci
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Maria Bakalova, Stephen Merchant, Wet Leg
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Judd Apatow, Leslie Mann
• “The Talk” (CBS): John Cho, guest co-host Paula Abdul
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Wilmer Valderrama, Monica Mangin, Dr. John Whyte
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Brené Brown, Sydney Sweeney
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Lisa Kudrow, Julia Haart, DeVaughn Nixon, Laura Marano
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Jimmy Fallon, Pete Holmes, Eric Kim
• “How We Roll” (CBS): Series premiere. Pete Holmes, Chi McBride, Katie Lowes, and Julie White star in a sitcom based on the life of pro bowler Tom Smallwood.
• “Halloween Kills” (HBO): Unstoppable killer Michael Myers continues his ritual bloodbath in Haddonfield IL. An angry mob of vigilantes attempts to end his reign of terror once and for all.
• “Ex on the Beach” (MTV): Season 5 premiere

• Camila Cabello – performed alongside Ed Sheeran at Tuesday’s Concert for Ukraine. The star-studded event in Birmingham was organized to raise money for the humanitarian appeal in Ukraine, and Cabello duetted with Sheeran on their new song ‘Bam Bam’. Also on the bill: Snow Patrol, Paloma Faith, Manic Street Preachers, Nile Rodgers & Chic, and more.
• Doja Cat — has apologized for tweeting she was “not sorry” for refusing to see fans after a cancelled show. Following a backlash, she declared that she was quitting the music industry as it was a “nightmare” and told fans she was “not sorry” for her actions. Sunday, Doja retweeted her “I’m not sorry” post and added, “I am.”
• Mick Jagger – says he wrote his first-ever TV theme “very, very quickly”. He composed the tune for the Apple TV+ series “Slow Horses” (starring Gary Oldman) after reading the Mick Herron book on which it’s based. The series debuts tomorrow.
• Elton John — has unveiled his final stretch of North American shows. They include stops in Vancouver, Toronto, New Jersey, Boston, Phoenix, Tacoma, Santa Clara and San Diego, plus a 3rd show at LA’s Dodger Stadium in November. LINK:
• Fleetwood Mac – In June, Christine McVie will release the solo album “Songbird,” featuring new arrangements of some of her biggest hits. She says the new versions “all sound completely different.” Will she tour behind it? “That I daren’t comment on yet!”
• Kelsea Ballerini — has announced a partnership with CoverGirl. Quote: “I’ve always had a…tube of CoverGirl mascara in my makeup bag, and I even wrote in my journal at age 14 that one day I dreamed of being a CoverGirl.” She’ll be the face of a yet-to-be-announced collection from the brand, coming out this spring. LINK:
• Brad Paisley – has announced his “World Tour 2022” will launch May 27 in Uncasville CT. This summer he’ll head out on a European tour and will end the run with his first-ever tour in Australia this fall. Special guests will include Tracy Lawrence, Scotty McCreery, Morgan Evans, Tenille Townes, and more.
• Brandy Clark — will perform as part of “CMT Crossroads: LeAnn Rimes & Friends,” airing April 14, to celebrate Rimes’ 25th career anniversary. In addition to Clark and Rimes, it will also feature Ashley McBryde, Carly Pearce and Mickey Guyton performing songs from throughout Rimes’ career. Clark has also announced a European tour in Aug.-Sept.


Tim Hortons restaurants is testing new drive-thru technology in Ontario that they say will not only get customers get their orders faster, it’ll do so without any face-to-face interaction with staff. The famous Canadian coffee shop is testing what is calls “automated drive-thru pickup points.” How does it work? The new technology is hosted in a second drive-thru lane, allowing 2 customers to order at the same time. A conveyer belt moves a guest’s order above the first drive-thru lane, to the second. After paying, the customer receives their order through an automated receiving box with electric doors. The first trial of the technology was launched at a Tim Hortons location in Tecumseh, near Windsor, ON. LINK:
(Well, as long as they can still get my coffee order wrong, I guess it’s OK that I never have to see a person…)
(I’m not sure how this is something to get excited about. The kids at my local drive-thru never look you in the eye anyway!)
(The problem? At my local Tim’s, if they want a second drive-thru lane, it’s going to have to be on top of the first one!)


What’s an early warning sign that the economy might be tanking? Your underwear, according to former US Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan. He became a little bit famous for his theory of underwear as a key economic predictor. He believes that nobody else sees men’s underwear, except in the locker room. So, the thinking is that underwear sales are usually stable, and when it dips, that means men are so broke that they’re deciding not to replace underwear. And stats back up his theory. Here are some other strange supposed economic indicators . . .
• Skyscraper Index: The theory is that an increase in very tall buildings happens as we’re approaching a bust — and when a building that breaks the record for world’s tallest is completed, an economic crisis is imminent. (It’s all linked to cheap credit, over-investment, and rampant speculation)
• Lipstick Index: The purchase of cosmetics, especially lipsticks, are inversely related to the economy because women replace more expensive purchases with small pick-me-ups. This was revised to the “moisturizing index” during the COVID economic downturn, as consumers turned to skincare items as they donned masks and worked from home.
• Dating Site Index:  Matchup sites enjoy a boost during economic busts. Why? Unemployed people have plenty of time to swipe around. And online dating is (relatively) inexpensive. (And misery, as we all know, loves company.)
(Mr. Greenspan may be able to predict the economy, but apparently, he never predicted saggy jeans…’cause when you’re wearing those, EVERYONE sees your underpants!)
(And you know the economy is REALLY bad when you’re wearing NO underwear – because it’s your brother’s turn!)

☞ Eating leafy greens like broccoli isn’t just good for you, it could help end the pandemic. Johns Hopkins Children’s Center researchers discovered that a chemical found within broccoli and other cruciferous vegetables may offer a potent new way of fighting both COVID-19 and the common cold. The plant-derived chemical, called sulforaphane, was found to inhibit the replication of SARS-CoV-2 (the virus responsible for COVID-19), and other coronaviruses. Earlier studies have connected sulforaphane with cancer-preventing benefits. The compound is also abundant in brussels sprouts, kale, and cabbage. (Sorry…still not worth it!)
☞ Researchers say that confidence in your cooking skills — along with better eating habits and decisions — is good for your mental health. This comes from Edith Cowan University scientists, who partnered with charities to put together a mobile food kitchen that provided community cooking lessons. During the program, the team polled participants on their satisfaction with cooking and general diet habits. Those who took the 7-week cooking course displayed significant improvement in their mental health, overall health, and perceived vitality. Many participants also reported increased confidence in the kitchen, newfound ability to change their diet on the fly, and the capacity to overcome lifestyle barriers to healthy eating. (Although I hate to say I have zero confidence in the kitchen, I’m happy to say I more than make up for it in the dining room!)

(Because kids don’t get a free pass on April 1st…)
✓ Put a bowl of your kid’s favorite cereal and milk in the freezer overnight, then watch in the morning as your unsuspecting kid clanks a spoon against the frozen milk.
✓ Put a twist on a sunny-side-up egg. A halved peach in yogurt not only looks like an egg, but also makes a delicious breakfast.
✓ Stuff toilet paper into the toe of your kid’s shoes. Especially fun if you casually mention first thing in the morning that her feet look bigger.
✓ Put a ‘For Sale’ sign in your front yard.
✓ Confuse your kid on the ride to school by sticking a sign on the rear of your vehicle reading: “Honk and wave and yell at my kid [name] … he doesn’t know it’s April Fools Day!”
✓ Make –ahem — ‘chocolate chip cookies’ out of mashed potatoes and black beans.
✓ Put a photocopy of your face under the toilet seat and close the lid.
✓ Make candied apples with onions. Your kid will find it hilarious … in a decade or two.
✓ A mashed potato sundae also makes for quite the surprise.
✓ Serve up a glass of juice that is really Jell-O. That first sip will be classic.
✓ Tell your kid you bought her a new iPad. Give her a pirate’s eye patch from a Halloween costume. “I’m sorry, did I say iPad? I meant I bought you an eye pad.”
-Adapted from BuzzFeed

A Texas teen has been treated to a new pickup truck after surviving a harrowing and bizarre ordeal last week. A storm chaser’s camera inadvertently captured the moment that a tornado near Austin tipped Riley Leon’s Chevy pickup onto its side then blew it back onto its wheels, allowing him to drive away to safety. The truck was severely damaged, so Bruce Lowrie Chevrolet and the automaker worked together to give him a brand new 2022 Silverado Texas Edition. Along with the truck, which is worth over $50,000, the dealer also gave Leon $15,000 for expenses. His back was fractured in the incident and may require surgery, and his family has no health insurance.


• “Farm Workers Day”, encouraging us to thank agricultural laborers for their role in growing what we eat. (Remember, today is for farm WORKERS, not their boss, the C-I-E-I-O!)
• “She’s Funny That Way Day”, paying tribute to the female funny bone. How do the women in your life make you laugh? (***Ask for quirky things that funny ladies do***)
• “Dance Marathon Day”, Dance marathons are events in which people dance or walk to music for an extended period of time. They started as dance contests in the 1920s and developed into entertainment events during the Great Depression in the 1930s.
• “National Crayon Day”, to celebrate the invention of crayons and the joy of coloring. It’s a perfect day to dust off your crayons and spend the day coloring. (Crayons are like M&Ms . . .They taste the same no matter what color they are!)
• “National Prom Day”, a day created to honor friendship, cherish memories, celebrate history, and enjoy the fun and excitement this milestone event brings (***Who has a prom disaster story?***)
• “International Transgender Day of Visibility”, to celebrate transgender people and raise awareness of the discrimination faced by them. It’s also a celebration of their contributions to society.

[Fri] April Fools’ Day
[Fri] International Fun at Work Day
[Sat] Reconciliation Day
[Sat] Fact-Checking Day

1934 [88] Shirley Jones, Charleroi PA, TV actress (“The Partridge Family” 1970-74)/movie actress (“Oklahoma!”, Academy Award for “Elmer Gantry”)/step-mom to her late co-star, David Cassidy

1943 [79] Christopher Walken, Queens NY, movie actor (Oscar-“The Deer Hunter”, “Pulp Fiction”)

1948 [74] Rhea Perlman, Brooklyn NY, TV actress (“Cheers” 1982-1993)/movie actress (“Matilda”)

1948 [74] Al Gore, Washington DC, politician (US Vice President 1993-2001)/environmentalist (founder of The Climate Reality Project/author of “An Inconvenient Truth”)

1955 [67] Angus Young, Glasgow Scotland, short-panted rock guitarist (AC/DC-‘Highway To Hell’, ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, 2003

1971 [51] Ewan McGregor, Crieff Scotland, movie actor (“Moulin Rouge!”, “Trainspotting”) COMING UP… “Raymond & Ray”, 2022

1981 [41] Ryan Bingham, Hobbs NM, TV actor (“Yellowstone” since 2018)

1983 [39] 40 [Noah Shebib], Toronto ON, hip-hop producer (Drake, Lil Wayne, Beyoncé, Alicia Keys, Jamie Foxx)/co-founder of Drake’s October’s Very Own (OVO) label

1984 [38] Jack Antonoff, Bergenfield NJ, indie rock guitarist/singer/drummer (fun.-‘Some Nights’, Bleachers-‘I Wanna Get Better’)/producer (Taylor Swift, Lorde, St. Vincent, Lana Del Rey, Carly Rae Jepsen, The Chicks)

1981 [41] At the first ever Golden Raspberry Awards (aka The Razzies), Neil Diamond is named ‘Worst Actor’ for his performance in “The Jazz Singer”.

1985 [37] At WrestleMania I, at Madison Square Garden, NYC: Hulk Hogan & Mr. T beat Roddy Piper & Paul Orndorf

1967 [55] Onstage at the Astoria Theatre in London, Jimi Hendrix sets fire to his guitar for the first time. He goes to hospital after the show with minor burns

2011 [11] Michael Bublé marries actress and model Luisana Lopilato in Buenos Aires, Argentina

2019 [03] 33-year-old rapper and activist Nipsey Hussle (Ermias Asghedom) is fatally shot outside his clothing store in Los Angeles

2007 [15] 2.2 million people take part in the first “Earth Hour” in Sydney, Australia


✓ A gallon of gasoline contains about 31,000 calories, equal to about 15 days of food (don’t try consuming it at home . . . or anywhere else, for that matter!).
✓ Only about a third of the world’s population eats with a knife and fork.
✓ Croissants aren’t French. The crescent-shaped pastry was invented in Austria in the 1200s. In the early 1800s, a Viennese baker began selling them in Paris, and the rest is history.
✓ Dr. Seuss coined the word ‘nerd’ in his 1950 book “If I Ran the Zoo”.
✓ A cockroach can change directions up to 25 times a second.
✓ In 1980, the Yellow Pages accidentally listed a Texas funeral home under ‘Frozen Foods’.
-BathroomReadersInstitute, CTech

Best of BS . . .

• How do you clean your glasses?
• For Halloween, do you just put on some clothes?
• Where do you keep your phone?
• Do you feel a breeze?
• Are you dressing me with your eyes?
• How long do you let the sun shine where the sun don’t shine?
• What’s hanging?
• (***CAUTION***) At your nudist retreat, are the first few days the hardest?
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2021

• Directors only shout “action” when filming action films. When directing a comedy, directors shout “comedy”, and when directing a rom-com, they shout “rom-com”.
• “Waterboy” was a prequel to “Aquaman”.
• “Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot” set the standard for the action films that followed.
• The bad guy never misses when shooting at the good guy.
• Schwarzenegger is an anagram for “Get to the choppa”.
• The plane was fake but the snakes were real.
• “The Matrix” was filmed before a live studio audience.
• “Rainman” and “Mad Max” are based on the same true story.
• The number of slow-motion explosions has a direct correlation to box-office success.
• “Die Hard” is not a Christmas movie.
• The larger the actor, the poorer the acting. (Wait, that one might be true…)
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

Even dogs have homies:

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.

What’s something that was once important, but is now becoming less and less relevant? (Cash? Movie theaters? Pay phones? Business cards? Newspapers?)

Question:  89% of us have THIS in our homes, but only about one-third of us use it regularly. What is it?
Answer:  Dental floss

To inspire someone, don’t show them your superpowers; Show them theirs.


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