Wednesday, May 11, 2016 Edition: #5728

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

★ Christina Aguilera will reportedly sing along with a hologram of the late Whitney Houston during the upcoming final episode of NBC-TV’s “The Voice”. The rumors began circulating on social media last week and an inside source has now apparently confirmed the news. However, when asked about the special tribute, Christina has remained tight-lipped, saying only: “I can’t say anything, but I’m very excited about the finalé.” (May 24th)
★ Composer Tim Rice is reportedly set to become a father again at the age of 71. Rice is said to be expecting his 4th child with his partner, 34-year-old playwright Laura Jane Foley, and she is due to give birth ‘imminently’. Rice, who is estimated to be worth $240 million thanks to his co-writing credits on hit musicals like “Evita”, “Jesus Christ Superstar”, and “The Lion King” also has 2 grown children with his estranged wife of 41 years, Jane McIntosh, and a daughter from another relationship.
★ Eva Mendes & Ryan Gosling just pulled off the biggest cover-up in Hollywood baby history. They had one 2 weeks ago and hardly anyone even knew she was pregnant. According to the birth certificate, Amada Lee Gosling was born April 29th at 8:03 am at Providence St John’s Health Center in Santa Monica CA. The mother on the birth certificate is listed as Eva De La Caridad Mendez. The dad is Ryan Thomas Gosling. The couple has another child, Esmeralda Amada, who’s 20-months-old. It’s a little weird the newborn has the same first name as the middle name of the older child. ‘Amada’ is the name of Eva’s grandma.

• Cannes Film Festival (France) – Actors Donald Sutherland and Kirsten Dunst are among the members of the jury, which is being led by “Mad Max: Fury Road” director George Miller. The festival’s top award, the prestigious Palme d’Or, will be announced at the end of the festival on May 22nd. Among the titles in competition are Sean Penn’s drama “The Last Face”; Pedro Almodovar’s “Julieta”; “American Honey”, starring Shia LaBeouf & Riley Keough; and “Personal Shopper”, featuring Kristen Stewart.
• “Chelsea” (Netflix) – Debut of a new talk show hosted by Chelsea Handler, with 3 new 30-minute instalments available online each week (Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays). Tonight’s 1st episode features Drew Barrymore and Pitbull.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Mike Posner (“At Night, Alone”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Journey (“Journey: Greatest Hits Reissue”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Cole Swindell (“You Should Be Here”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Gabe Dixon (“Turns to Gold”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Walk the Moon (“Talking is Hard”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Desiigner (“Panda”).
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – Meghan Trainor (“Thank You”).
• “Meredith Vieira” (syndicated) – Clay Aiken (“Steadfast”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Monica (“Code Red”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Gallant (“Ology”).

• Dave Matthews Band – Tonight they’re hitting the road to celebrate their 25th anniversary. The Virginia jam band is pegged to play 46 nights in 37 different cities. The festivities kick off in Wichita KS and end Labor Day weekend in George WA.
• James Taylor – He’s agreed to donate the proceeds from 2 upcoming Canadian concerts to help victims of the huge wildfire that leveled parts of Fort McMurray, Alberta. The gigs are in Calgary (June 7th) and Edmonton (June 8th). The fire is still raging in some areas.
• Kesha – Tonight she’s lined up to appear on TV show “Nashville”, having recently filmed a guest appearance on Hayden Panettiere’s show playing herself. Kesha’s a local, having recently sold off her Nashville TN home.
• Meghan Trainor – She’s pulled the music video for her new single “Me Too” just hours after it was released after realizing that her body had been Photoshopped without her approval. Quote: “I took it down until they fix it. My waist is not that teeny …”
• Ozzy Osbourne – He tells “E! News”: “I have been sober for 3-and-a-quarter years. I have not touched drugs or alcohol in that time. Any reports that I am not sober are completely inaccurate.” So it was cheating that caused his wife Sharon to leave?
• Pharrell Williams – He’s been lined up to chair “Complex” magazine’s 1st-ever pop culture festival this Fall. “ComplexCon”, a 2-day event focused on pop culture, art, music, style, and sports is scheduled for November 5th-6th in Long Beach CA.
• Pitbull – He’s recruited Latin heartthrob Prince Royce to join him on his upcoming Summer concert schedule. “The Bad Man Tour” will be heating up venues across North America beginning July 6th in Fresno CA. The tour begins a month after the release of Pitbull’s 10th studio album, “Climate Change”, due June 3rd.
• The Who – Frontman Roger Daltrey is releasing a new Champagne to honor the band’s 50th anniversary. The limited-edition bubbly, ‘Champagne Cuvée Roger Daltrey’, becomes available next month. The bottles are decorated with The Who’s bullseye motif and Daltrey’s signature. A percentage of proceeds benefit Teen Cancer America.

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 68% of Americans think the current presidential campaigns are leading more Americans to be rude.
• 60% of women who wear bright lipstick do so because they think it makes them appear ‘friendly’.
• 37% of guys say it’s a big turn-on when a date knows more about sports than they do.
• 30% of people polled claim they’d give up dessert for a year in order to have a nice smile.
• 25% of tequila drinkers admit they’ve ended up eating the tequila worm at least once.
• 10% of adults surveyed say they really, really enjoy the taste of … licking envelopes.

Scientists from Harvard Medical School and MIT have developed an invisible elastic film that can be applied to the skin to reduce the appearance of wrinkles and eye bags. Once applied, the formula dries to form a film that purportedly ‘mimics the properties of youthful skin’. The film is invisible, can be worn all day, and can withstand sweat and rain. At the moment it is being explored as a commercial cosmetic product. The prototype has been tested on a handful of volunteers, applying the formula to their under-eye bags, forearms, and legs. Although it’s synthetic, it’s designed to mimic real skin and provide a breathable, protective layer. The scientists say their second skin might eventually be used to deliver medicines and/or to provide sun protection. (“Don’t go out yet Mom, you only did half your face!”)
– BBC News

New terms entering the lingo …
• ‘Fast Fashion’ – Low-cost, quickly-made clothing that copies the latest high-end fashions.
• ‘Permalescent’ – An adult who is, and appears likely to remain, emotionally or intellectually immature.
• ‘Street Score’ – A valuable or useful item found on the street or in the trash.

This Summer, the Anheuser-Busch beer brand Shock Top is staging an Adult Summer Camp Sweepstakes with help from outdoor activities company Camp No Counselors. Yes, Camp Shock Top will have all the classic hallmarks of a remote sleep-away camp, including games of tug-o-war, capture the flag, and beach volleyball. There will be archery courses, arts & crafts, floating trampolines, campfires, and talent shows. But this camp also comes with gourmet food, an open bar, and co-ed cabins. Admission to the camp is being awarded through an online draw. If you don’t win, you can always register for a regular Camp No Counselors experience, which runs about $500 per weekend. (This is like “Wet Hot American Summer” on Netflix.)

What are the best of the 13 films in the Marvel cinematic universe? This is probably going to be controversial, but here’s one ranking of the top 10 …
10. “Ant-Man” (2015)
9. “Avengers: Age of Ultron” (2015)
8. “Captain America: The First Avenger” (2011)
7. “Thor” (2011)
6. “Guardians Of the Galaxy” (2014)
5. “Captain America: Civil War” (2016)
4. “Iron Man” (2008)
3. “The Avengers” (2012)
2. “Iron Man 3” (2013)
1. “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” (2014)
(Leftovers: “Thor: The Dark World”, “The Incredible Hulk”, “Iron Man 2”.)

• It cost more to make the movie “Titanic” than to actually build the ‘Titanic’.
• The movie “Gravity” cost more to film than the cost of India’s entire Mars mission.
• “Star Wars” was initially meant to be titled “The Star Wars”.
• Movie ‘trailers’ actually used to run after films.
• Nigeria makes more movies per year than Hollywood.
• The movie industry initially moved from NYC to LA to escape Thomas Edison’s patents.
• More than 90% of American movies filmed before 1930 have been lost.


1980 [36] Holly Vallance (Vukadinović), Fitzroy, Australia, TV actress (“Prison Break” 2005-06, “Neighbours” 1999-2005)/pop singer (“Naughty Girl”, “Kiss Kiss”)

1982 [34] Jonathan Jackson, Orlando FL, TV actor (‘Avery Barkley’ on “Nashville” since 2012)

1989 [27] Cam Newton, Atlanta GA, NFL quarterback (Carolina Panthers since 2011)

1994 [22] Howard Lawrence, Reigate UK, electronica musician (Disclosure-“White Noise”, f/Sam Smith-“Latch”)

• “Donate a Day’s Wages to Charity Day”, the 15th observance on the 2nd Wednesday in May, when all working people are encouraged to donate whatever wages they earn on this day to charity. Donating time instead is promoted as another option.

• “Eat What You Want Day”, a day to ignore all the warnings, avoid worrying and counting calories, and thereby fight our obsession with being thin. (Okay, so if healthfulness is not in play, what do you really, really want?)

• “Root Canal Appreciation Day”, apparently started by some masochist somewhere. By comparison, what would make you find worse than a root canal? Watching someone’s PowerPoint presentation about sales projections?

• “Receptionists Day”, in recognition of the frontline personnel in business and education, the ones responsible for making a good first impression.

• “School Nurse Day”, celebrated annually on the Wednesday during “Nurse’s Week” to salute the dedicated people who offer passes when you need them. (“Ooooh, I’ve got a really bad headache, I need to go home.”) This year’s theme is ‘Better Health. Better Learning.’

• “Third Shift Workers Day”, honoring everyone who works the night shift. Ask for calls from people with unusual all-night jobs.

2000 [16] George Clooney makes a surprise return appearance on NBC-TV’s “ER” as ‘Dr Doug Ross’ (he’d left the show in 1998 after 5 seasons to pursue bigscreen stardom)

1981 [35] Legendary reggae musician Bob Marley dies of brain cancer in Miami FL at age 36 (today is “Bob Marley Day” in Jamaica)

2011 [05] One of the rarest rock T-shirts in the world, a 1979 Led Zeppelin tee, sells on eBay for $10,000, the largest sum ever paid for a vintage tee

2000 [16] The population of India officially crosses the 1 billion mark, making it the world’s 2nd billionaire country after China

2003 [13] Virginia resident Gary Duschl who began a chain of chewing gum wrappers as an 11-year-old in Canada in 1965 passes the 1 million mark (his chain of wrappers stretches over 8 miles and weighs 600 lbs)

2002 [14] ‘World’s Largest Omelette’, created as a fundraiser by the Lung Association in Brockville ON, weighs in at 2.95 tonnes (6,510 lb)

2011 [05] In Nepal, Sherpa Apa Sherpa achieves a new record by climbing Mount Everest for the 21st time

2015 [01] Two art works set world records at a Christie’s auction in NYC, as Pablo Picasso’s painting “Women of Algiers Version O” sells for $160 million and Alberto Giacometti’s sculpture “Pointing Man” sells for $141.3 million

[Thurs] Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Day
[Fri] “The Darkness”; “Money Monster” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Friday the 13th
[Sat] Miniature Golf Day
[Sat] Stay Up All Night
[Sat] World Belly Dance Day
[Sun] Peace Officer Memorial Day
This Week Is … Craft Beer Week
This Month Is … Salsa Month


✓ An anxious sweater vest.
✓ Passive-aggressive penny loafers.
✓ A letterman’s jacket full of regret.
✓ A belt suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.
✓ Suspenders.
– Thanks to Colleen Doyle

☎ You probably have a cute nickname for your partner. So what is it?

Which is said to be the #1 clue that a guy is committed to you?
a. He lets you drive his car.
b. He talks about his ex. [CORRECT]
c. He says “I love you” during a moment of passion.
d. When a game is on TV, he’ll allow conversation during commercial breaks.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last. That’s why I don’t have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

Question: Hard to believe but over 6,500 people are injured each year by THESE.
Answer: Pillows.

If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.

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